The walk was COLD AND RAINY, and even though we opted to only do the mile route, we also took into consideration the extra weight of our clothes being soaked with water AND having to fight the wind and adjust our umbrellas when they turned inside out. Even with the crap-taculous weather, there were a TON of people out - I would say thousands of people, who came to do the race. Next year we want to do a little more organizing and start fund raising early. So even though we were complaining all the time, at least we were all together and were able to laugh about it! I’ll post up pictures (I only used my camera phone) later!

To you mommies out there, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Tags: Motherhood, Memories, Pictures by Yano
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Have you ever seen that commercial with the mom who doesn’t have the time to pay attention to her appearance? All of the sudden, she buys Suave (or something like that) and she’s revived, the goddess that she used to be before beauty (and probably general hygiene) had taken a lower priority in life.

I admit I’ve felt like that for a while. Keeping track of Ben, working long hours and just trying to exist have really taken a toll on my beauty regimen. There was a time, not too long ago, where I wouldn’t be caught outside the house without some lipgloss and eye liner. Now I’m going everywhere with my face unwashed and looking like death. I’ve seen enough Today show and InStyle segments and articles stating that moms should take some time off for themselves, and I haven’t really done that…til last week.

I used to have a makeup addiction, even during this black hole time of non-beauty I’d still buy some lipgloss if it caught my fancy. I love lipglosses, lipsticks and nail polish. It’s been a while since I’ve used any of the things I’ve bought. Any of you seasoned YWIM readers may recall the days when I used to regularly update the webcam on the sidebar and post pictures of myself. But as of late (A.B. - After Ben, as I call it) I can’t recall when the last good picture was taken of me. A picture where I actually look presentable and I would actually post it on the internet.

So the other day, I decided to treat myself and do a bit of shopping at the local beauty store. I bought some makeup, and even some perfume - Vera Wang’s Princess. I chose that one because I went to a stripclub with some coworkers (back in the days when I actually HAD coworkers I went out with) and the stripper I was tipping smelled really good. We had a conversation about her perfume and she mentioned she was wearing Princess. Really sweet and nice gal. So when I was at the store, I tried it out on myself (because you know, scents smell different on everyone) and although I didn’t smell as good as the stripper (is that a good thing?) I did like the scent.

Then yesterday, out of the blue, I decided I needed a hair cut. It had been more than six months since I’ve gotten a haircut (it could even be a year) and the last time my hair was cut I had gone to the woman who does Dave’s hair since I no longer work downtown (sorry Jack, I still love you). I didn’t like the cut at all, and her style of cutting hair (using a razor to create texture) is not something I liked. But now I’ve got this grown out shag of hair, and the only way I can make it look presentable is to curl the hell out of it (but which looks really good, though it takes a LOT of time to do).

I did some searching on the internets for a local shop with good ratings, and they fortunately had an opening. I headed out, asked for about 2 inches off and *gasp* bangs. Wasn’t sure if bangs were a right choice, but it’s just hair, right? It grows back. Luckily the guy who was doing my hair told me I had a cowlick on the side of my head and that I should get my bangs cut at the opposite side. You can’t really tell I have any bangs since I asked for long, sideswept bangs, but I think they still look nice.

So here’s the most current picture of me - in black and white since a) it looks nicer and b) there was a yellow cast on the original that I just can’t get rid off and I would rather not look like I have jaundice.

Tags: Photography, Product Pimping, Motherhood by Yano
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Ben in BW, originally uploaded by Yano.

croup (kroop): A pathological condition of the larynx, especially in infants and children, that is characterized by respiratory difficulty and a hoarse, brassy cough.

Ben was supposed to leave on vacation this morning with Dave and his parents - I, of course, would get left behind because of work, of course. Whether it was the dramatic change in weather or maybe my “please don’t take my baby away” vibes, he started coughing yesterday.

It got a little more dramatic once he went to sleep. He started coughing and the sound was a little scary. The only way I could describe it was it sounded like an angry duck. Donald Duck after getting cut off on the highway kinda angry. Ben would wake up and start whimpering, only to fall into another spell of angry-duck-coughing.

Ironically, we got a call from the doctor’s office confirming an appointment for today, which I had no recollection of making. Considering Dave was on vacation and today is Ben’s 21 month birthday, I could very well have scheduled something. So Dave decided to call off their trip and stay at home for his vacation, and we went to the doctor’s office.

Turns out, there was a glitch in their phone/scheduling system, so a TON of people got a call that there was an appointment for today. We were the only fools who actually came into the doctor’s office. Ben’s at the age now where he KNOWS that he’s the in the place of pain and prickly needles, so he freaked once he saw the doctor. No shots were done, but he was still pretty hysterical when she checked his lungs, mouth and ears.

She told us it was probably a mild form of croup, and the best thing we could do is let it run it’s course. Ben didn’t lose his appetite and he wasn’t moody, so there was nothing to worry about.

So my poor little boy has the croup, or as I like to call it, “Angry Duck Syndrome”.

Posted up this picture of him, because I like it a lot. One of my favorites from our little photoshoot at Santa Monica beach. I’ll post up the original sometime and tell you more about it some other time.

Tags: Photography, Motherhood, Ben by Yano
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As I must have mentioned a million times already, I’ve been REALLY busy with work. Working a lot of late nights, a lot of weekends, drives up to Milwaukee and a little traveling here and there…I have been working non-stop. It’s been a bit unfair to poor little Ben, since a lot of the time I’ve gotta hand him off to Dave or keep his attention busy with television or toys.

When Dave was busy with studying for his boards, or when he was on-call all the time I would always sing to him the song “Cats in a Cradle” by Cat Stevens. He, in turn, would sing it when I was traveling. For those of you who have never heard it, it’s about a father who is always busy, and his son is yearning to spend time with him. When the father actually stops to spend time with his son, it’s too late, the son is grown and has a life of his own.

Sometimes I really feel like that’s happening. Ben’s growing up so fast and every free moment I have I try and soak him up and marvel at all the new things that he can do. I feel horrible when he wants to spend time with him and tries shutting my laptop. It sucks that I’ve got to wake him up at 5 in the morning so I can drop him off before I drive up to Milwaukee, and then cries when I hand him off to his grandparents, reaching his hands out to me saying “Mama! Mama!”

That song echoes in my head, the warning loud and clear to me…if I don’t take the time out to be with him now, it may be too late if I wait.

So, here’s my favorite rendition of the song, by Ugly Kid Joe:

FYI - Yusuf Islam is the Islamic name of Cat Stevens, who had converted in the 70’s. For some CRAZY reason, Movable Type won’t let me put Cat Stevens in the title of my post!
Click on the link for the lyrics.
[Read more →]

Tags: Motherhood by Yano
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Happy Mother’s day to all of you out there, friends, family and my wonderful readers (if you’re all still out there, that is). My boys (Dave and Ben) got me seasons 1 & 2 of the Office, which I love, and it will give me something to do when I’m on the road. We also went out for brunch at a great Italian buffet. Ben made a whole bunch of new friends walking around and trying to hold hands with other little kids. He’s a friendly little guy!

Of course, whenever this day comes, I’m left with a bittersweet feeling. I miss my mother terribly, and this time always puts me in a little funk. It’s still sweet, in a way, because I remember my mother fondly, and as much as I miss her, I know that she’s watching over me and those that I love.

The other day, I found a plastic bag on the junk table at my place. I’ve been traveling on and off over the last several weeks, so I have no idea how long this bag had been sitting there. I opened it up, and there were a bunch of cards in there. I looked inside the cards, and realized that these were the cards that were given to my mother during her baby shower, before I was born. It was a weird jump into the past, a past that was before me. Seeing names of all my aunts and friends and family that I only slightly recalled from my childhood. Reading all their well wishes for her, and just wondering what the shower was like.

Of course, it was my father who dropped off that little present to me. It means a lot to have this little piece of her, something that she had kept for so long.

So once again, I hope all you moms out there had a great day, and that your husbands and kids have treated you like the queens that you are…

Tags: Motherhood by Yano
2 Comments »

It can be pretty rough the first month after having your first child. There’s late night feedings, doctor appointments, changing diapers, trying to quiet a crying baby and a whole bunch of ailments that make you wonder if they’re normal or not. It can be pretty stressing!

Luckily for me, I’m surrounded by a network of women - family, friends even blog readers - who have shared their motherhood experiences with me. Knowing the experiences of others makes it a little easier for me and makes me realize I’m not the only one who’s facing challenges, or that the unusual things that are happening are quite normal. I think if I hadn’t talked to anyone, if no one told me what to expect, I’d be going crazy with worry and I would have called my pediatrician a thousand times already.

I’ve also been doing a lot of reading, and have several popular baby books on hand for reference:

“The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two” - by James Sears, Martha Sears, Robert Sears, William Sears

“What to Expect the First Year” - by Heidi Murkoff, Sandee Hathaway, Arlene Eisnberg

“Baby 411 : Clear Answers and Smart Advice for Your Baby’s First Year” - by Denise Fields, Ari Brown

Each has their pros and cons, but they have been total life savers to me when I’ve had questions about what was going on with my baby.

So I’m here to share some experiences with you all. Knowledge and experience was shared with me, and so I’m passing it on to you all right now…

I’ve caught a pretty nasty cold, which is kinda funny because summer is on its way. My head is so congested and I’m sneezing and coughing all the time.

I’m really paranoid that I’m going to get the baby sick, too. I’ve made sure to wash my hands every time I touch the baby, especially when feeding, but I can’t suppress my coughs when I’m feeding. I hope he doesn’t get sick and this cold runs its course soon. Not only am I afraid of germs, but when I caugh it wakes the baby so he’s not getting as much sleep as he normally does. It’s also really hard not togive him little kisses and interact with him as much as I normally do.

I’m taking some over the counter stuff, but once again, I’m paranoid - this time that it’s going to get passed on to the baby through my milk or it will decrease my supply. It’s a lose-lose situation - either suck it up and not take any medication, waking the baby each time I cough or sneeze, or take some meds but risk doing something to my milk supply.

It’s hard enough being sick when you don’t have a baby - normally I’d be a brat and just lounge on the couch and feel sorry for myself. Now, I have to take care of the baby and work through the cold. Luckily, Dave has been helping out since he had the day off, but I’m on my own tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

*cough*

*sneeze*

Tags: Motherhood by Yano
3 Comments »

Since I’ve been home for the last couple months, hardly working, I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect on my life. There’s a lot of things that I need to do to clean up the house, in the two years we’ve lived here we’ve accumulated a lot of crap. Scratch that - *I’ve* accumulated a lot of crap. I’m the packrat. Dave’s the insanely clean one. The other day we passed by a clothes drive at our church. I’ve got a lot of clothes that I no longer wear. As I looked at my closet, it became obvious to me that most of the clothes I’d be cleaning out wouldn’t really be something that would be appropriate to donate to a clothes drive - my clubbing outfits.

I loved to go out and party in college and the years after. My weekends started on Thursday nights at Shelter and I’d go out on Friday and Saturday to places like Karma, The Drink, Stardust, Crobar, Aura, and whatever else was the flavor of the month. There was always something going on and we’d always know someone wherever we went. We’d drink and dance the nights away in the cutest outfits that were strappy, strapless, backless (never did the backless thing, though), shiny, and on the border of being pretty skanky. Hmm, maybe a couple tops were skanky. I accumulated a lot of club outfits throughout the years.

But I’ve realized that my late night/early morning clubbing days are over. I go out to a bar/club only once every several months now. Of course, one reason is that I was pregnant for 9 months, but even when I wasn’t pregnant, we didn’t go out as much as we used to.

So those cute tops need somewhere to go, because I won’t be using them much anymore.

However, will the people who benefit from clothing drives or the Salvation Army really need clothes to club in? Don’t they have better things to do than go out in a cute strappy red sequined top and dance on top of a platform? I think they do.

I’ll be getting rid of my outfits, though, probably giving them to my sister to see if she wants any of them because she might have a couple years of clubbing left in her. Then it’s off to my younger cousin, because she hasn’t even STARTED to conquer the clubbing world yet, and I’m pretty sure she likes being scantily clad (yeah, I’m talking to YOU, panty girl). Whatever she doesn’t need she’s free to sell to one of those stores that buys used skanky club clothing.

So goodbye, club diva days, I’ll miss you. Nights that were spent dancing and drinking are now spent feeding and changing diapers.

Tags: Motherhood by Yano
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I went to the doctor last Friday for my 6 week checkup, and I got the clean bill of health. All the stiches are healed, everything internally is going back to where it should be and the blood pressure is at my normal “barely alive” low reading. It wasn’t the most pleasant of visits since there’s a lot of prodding that takes place to make sure everything is internally ok - you know it’s gonna hurt when your doctor says, “sorry, I’m moving around your uterus…”

It was also Benjamin’s first trip downtown, and the first time I used the stroller. We had a fun adventure in the big city with Tita Claudine, going to shops and visiting my office - because I’m such a work-a-holic that I just can’t stay away. The guys at the office had a good laugh at Benjamin when he farted - I don’t think they thought that babies could have farts as explosive as that!

I now have a new appreciation for handicap access, since that’s needed for pushing a stroller. It’s hard to maneuver a stroller up a curb if there isn’t that helpful ramp for wheels! Also, I need to watch out for deep cracks in the pavement. I hit a couple of those and the stroller made a jarring stop, shaking around poor little Benben. Luckily, riding in the stroller seems to have the same effect as riding in a car, so he was happily napping most of the time.

So now I can live life normally again, well, as normal as one who is sitting around at home not working and taking care of a bottomless pit of hunger 24 hours a day. I don’t have to worry about straining anything or that I’ll pull out a stitch. I can work out and lose the baby weight so I won’t look so huge for Claudine’s wedding in a month. I can take my baby in the car with me and cruising around the city in search of adventure.

Whoo hoo!

Tags: Motherhood by Yano
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I was lucky for the first couple weeks after Benjamin was born because I had some family come in to help me out. It was great to have someone taking care of the house chores that I had to neglect because I was taking care of the baby, as well as making meals and watching the baby while I tried to get some shut-eye. However, there were some practices that doctors suggest you do now that they didn’t do when I was a baby, and I had to gently re-teach my relatives some things. Sometimes having to do this caused me more stress than the baby! Here’s a couple things that I had to put my foot down and say, “Yes, I know that’s how you did it before, but this is how I’m gonna do it with this little guy…”