…but never really got it.

Yesterday’s VP debate was quite uneventful. I was hoping for a train wreck, given who is running for Vice President. Sarah Palin, who reads ALL newspapers and magazines, but can’t name one specifically, and Joe Biden, who talks before thinking and has been labeled “the gaffe machine”. I was hoping to laugh and maybe wince at times.

But it didn’t happen. The debate was ok. Sure, the candidates talked around some of the subjects. Sure, there were some things that were said that weren’t factually correct. In the end, though, both candidates did well. Sarah Palin seemed charming, didn’t get that “deer in headlights” look and when she didn’t want to answer, skillfully changed the subject to something she knew (most of the time it was energy). Joe had the facts and made sure not to look like he was attacking or talking down to Sarah, though sometimes he restated numbers too many times.

In the end, I think Sarah did MUCH better than I expected, but I feel that Joe had the upper hand. Whether or not he was the clear winner is debatable - I’m sure Sarah’s demeanor and straight talk is what some voters want to hear. But I feel like Biden had a good understanding of what he was talking about and he would make an excellent Robin to Barack’s Batman.

To end this, I’d like to post a picture that Redpac sent me that completely tore my shit up when I saw it. I have no idea why, but I totally laughed out loud.

If you have no idea why I find it so funny, google “rick rolled”.

From his Answer Man column:

Q. Yo dude, u missed out on “Disaster Movie,” a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
S.J. Stanczak, Chicago

A. Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?

It just totally makes me laugh imagining Roger Ebert typing up that answer on his computer…even better, saying it out loud.

Thanks to LordKinbote for the heads up

My site was down for a couple hours today. I think it’s angry that I’ve been neglecting it so much lately. However, this week I have an excuse - I was out on Friday and needed to catch up, and two of my coworkers are on vacation this week, which leaves me a lot of work to do since I’m backup. Anyway, here’s filler - I thought it was appropriate since we had the convention last weekend…

I found this ad pretty funny. I’m sure Lysol was different back then, and that it wouldn’t be advisable to do right now. Sure, your vajayjay would smell like fresh summer rain, but I think the whole stinging sensation wouldn’t be too pleasant.

Thanks to Keith P. for this!

I fell asleep during SNL last week, but I did manage to catch “Weekend Update”, which is always a highlight for the show.

Amy Poehler had a nice little bit about Britney Spears and her need to show off her cooter to everyone.

Amy’s the best!

This one brought to you by Earl:

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says:”7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy
says, “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weighs 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown?!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn around”

I always thought that Redpac was a fast eater. Whenever I’d go out to eat with him he’d be done with his meal before I even had 3 bites of mine. He scarfs his food down without breathing and finishes it in record time.

Last year, Redpac entered an eating contest at a Chicago Wolves hockey game. The preliminary round had him eating Twinkies. He practiced for weeks, and on the night of the competition, he beat out the pack and made it to the finals. I wasn’t there so I didn’t get to see him in action.

The finals had him eating buffalo wings. He was up against the winners of the other rounds - they had eaten a variety of other foods, like donuts, bratwurst and jalapenos. As I looked at his competition, I knew Redpac was in trouble - these were some big guys. Then again, the world eating champion was this tiny Japanese guy, right? Maybe Redpac had a chance.

But as you can see from these videos, he had no chance. Either he was too slow or these double fisting bottomless pits were too fast. I vote for too slow - it felt like 10 minutes before he finished that first wing!

Part 1
Part 2

He picked it up later on but the damage was done. However, he did finish with a respectable 27 wings eaten, and he placed in the middle of the bunch. If it was me, I would have finished about 6.

Youtube is fun. Expect to see more of my home videos in the upcoming months!

Stole this off of Wakka.

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at the age of 93. The most difficult part of this sad loss for his family was getting him in to the coffin. They put his left leg in and that’s when the trouble started.

—-brought to you by current coworker Sam.