Goodbye Lola Dorie

I know it’s totally late, but last week my Lola Dorie passed away. Now, she’s not technically “my” lola (grandmother in Tagalog) - she’s actually Melanie’s grandmother. But blood doesn’t matter in my family - the bond that we have, the “cousins” is stronger than that. I’ve known Lola Dorie for as long as I can remember. When I was little she lived next door and sometimes would babysit me. I remember her gigantic goldfish, fish that lived longer than they should have. I remember how she would scold me for playing with the fake animals in their terrarium. She gave the best air/sniff kisses whenever she greeted me. Every Christmas, there would be an envelope of money for us, even when we were old and had jobs of our own, written out to us in her pretty handwriting. She had cancer once, and when I came over for a visit, she hobbled over to me in her robe and said, “You wanna see?” and flashed me…

Last week, I was making plans with my sister for the weekend. I was going to pick her up, and she mentioned that I might want to go and visit Lola next door, and that her health had taken a turn for the worse. I had seen her a couple months before, and she seemed fine, but I agreed that it was about time for a visit. On Wednesday, I read my cousin Maui’s facebook profile (because Facebook is how I know what’s going on with people) and just from the sound of it, I felt the need to go visit Lola that night. She was sleeping when we came, and didn’t wake, but I was so surprised at how frail she looked. I could tell this was a pretty rough time for her daughter, my Tita Ellen. No matter what age you are, it’s hard to watch your mother fading away.

She passed away the next day. Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of family gatherings. We traditionally pray for 9 days after someone passes. This involves the rosary and intercessions and lots of food. I remember when my mother passed, I gained 10lbs after all the prayer nights were done. Sadly, it’s times like this that I get a real appreciation for my family, how close we all are. My aunt flew in from Cincinatti, my father cut his San Diego vacation short, and every night, the Titas and Titos came over to support the family, with food, prayers, stories and laughter. It was a little exhausting, driving back and forth and back again, with a lot of housework not done, but what was more important was being with family and supporting Melanie and Maui.

The hardest thing for me was being at the cemetery. Lola’s grave was only a couple hundred feet away from my mom’s. Seeing the people I love, so sad at the loss of someone they loved was a little overwhelming to me. I knew that Lola was close with her grandkids, and even her great grandkids. They’ll be missing her every day…

In the end, Lola Dorie will be reunited with her husband, who passed away a while ago. I was watching an episode of Scrubs last week where a woman died soon after her husband, and they talked about how they were so close that they couldn’t live without each other. I think that for Lola, she loved Lolo Sonny, but she knew that her work wasn’t done. She had grandkids to watch over, and great grandkids to meet. Once she knew they’d be ok, she was ready to be with her love again.

Lola, you will be remembered, and you will be missed.


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2009-02-22 17:48:50

Trisha says

I’m sorry about your Lola, Yano. She sounds like a really special lady.

2009-02-24 12:15:43

Vicki says

Sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was loved by many and blessed to have you all in her life.

2009-02-26 20:53:57

Monica says

I am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.


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