When I was little, I used to have recurring dreams about sharks. The most popular shark recurring dream was me about to get into the bath and finding the bathtub filled with sharks. I think that’s why I’ve never learned how to swim - there’s always a part of me that’s terrified of what lies beneath the water.

I don’t have those dreams anymore, but I still have recurring dreams. My recurring dreams now are of me losing my bottom front teeth. It’s weird, I know, but in my dreams my teeth fall out at random times. You’d think that this would prompt me to go to the dentist to make sure that this doesn’t happen, but the opposite has happened - I’ve been avoiding the dentist because I hate the pain and a little, tiny part of me is afraid my teeth are going to fall out.

However, I’ve been feeling a bit of sensitivity in my molars, and I know that I can’t avoid the dentist forever, so I went online and searched for a dentist with some good reviews. Luckily, there was one by my house. So I made an appointment.

Once I got there, there was a TON of paperwork to fill out. Your usual “new patient” stuff - medical history, who to contact in case of emergency, etc. There were also questions like, “Does going to the dentist make you nervous?” (yes) “what don’t you like about going to the dentist?” (PAIN, that scraping sound, PAIN) “Do you have any special needs?” (i need to keep my teeth) and “when was your last cleaning?” (I have no idea!). I wanted to make it pretty clear that the last place I want to be is in the dentist’s chair.

After filling out my paperwork, the dental hygienist called me into room with THE CHAIR. I got myself ready for the inevitable pain and that I was going to be in for a really rough cleaning because of my dentist avoidance. My hygienist was a friendly Filipina, and when she sat me down we talked a little, and it went something like this:

HER: You look really familiar, have you been here before?
ME: No, this is my first time here
HER: Do you live in the area?
ME: About 10 minutes away, though I’m not usually around here. I don’t think we’ve met before.
HER: Hmm, I guess not. But I swear I’ve seen you before…
(now at this time, I’m thinking, “Oh my god, what if she’s a blog reader?!?”)
ME: Umm, I don’t know
HER: Where did you go to school?
ME: I went to U of I
HER: Oh! OK!
ME: Did you go there, too?
HER: No, not me, but do you know “Bill XXXXXX”? (names have been changed, obviously)
ME: Oh yeah! I know him! He used to date my best friend “Jamie YYYYYYY”
(Now at this point I’m thinking it’s his sister or cousin…but then she says…)
HER: (Pausing) I’m his fiance.

UM. AWKWARD.

Now right after she says that, a million thoughts race through my mind - first one is, “DAMMIT! WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH!” Other thoughts revolved around the fact that for the next hour she would be holding sharp instruments inside my mouth, possibly even a drill. Why did I say I was best friends with her fiance’s ex? Why was that nugget of information important? Couldn’t I just have said, “Yeah, cool man, I know him…” Instead, I just laughed and congratulated her and told her how great of a guy he is (because he IS a great guy) but it was a little weird.

Lucky for me, she was an absolute sweetheart and constantly asked me if I was OK. There was a lot of scraping going on because of my infrequent use of dental floss, and the retainer on my bottom front teeth is every dentists nightmare to clean. However, she said that for someone who hadn’t been to a dentist in recent memory (and come on, with my memory I could have been to the dentist last week and not remembered) she said my teeth weren’t all that bad. I’ve got a couple cavities that need to be taken care of in a couple weeks, but after that, I should be good to go. No root canals, no plucked teeth, no dentures, just ask long as I make sure to take good care of my teeth.

The visit went so well that I decided it’s time for Ben to go to the dentist. He’s got an appointment today and I’m really curious to see how it will go. We brush his teeth as often as we can, and he always get a little sticker afterwards. He’s still a very clingy child, so I’m not sure if he’ll like the dentist’s chair that much. I’m preparing myself for a lot of screaming, clawing and a good case of hives breaking out during his checkup. Wish us luck!

update: thanks to the other tara - i know i had looked up the interpretation of the falling teeth dream before, but I had forgotten what it meant. click here for the interpretation of the falling teeth dreams.

Tags: Whine and Cheese, Stories //