From his Answer Man column:

Q. Yo dude, u missed out on “Disaster Movie,” a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
S.J. Stanczak, Chicago

A. Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?

It just totally makes me laugh imagining Roger Ebert typing up that answer on his computer…even better, saying it out loud.

Thanks to LordKinbote for the heads up

Tags: Funnies by Yano
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As I may have mentioned before, I went on vacation with Ben and my in-laws. Dave didn’t come because he was studying for his board exam. It was a perfect time for us to go to Alaska, because I’ve always wanted to go and Dave’s not a fan of non-tropical/snowboarding-free vacations. Having my in-laws around was a great help, because they would take care of Ben if I wanted to explore a little bit (I liked exploring the different towns, Dave’s dad liked hanging out on the boat with Ben).

In today’s vacation picture installment, I’ve got the various family pictures. I’m not in a lot of them because I’d rather be behind the lens than in front of it. Also, Ben will have his very own “solo shots” post, because he’s such a ham that he had a TON of pictures taken by himself.

I’m using a different gallery program for these shots - if you want to go to the next picture without having to close the picture, hover your mouse near the top right hand corner of the photo and you’ll see an arrow appear. Click on it and you’ll go to the next picture.

Tags: Travel, Pictures by Yano
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Today Dave has a big board exam that he’s been studying for for the last year. It’s a really big deal - it’s an oral exam. We’ve been listening to some taped exams (everyone has different cases and scenarios, so it doesn’t matter if you hear someone else’s) and let me tell you - it’s HARD stuff. They ask hard questions and they’ll make things difficult just to see if you get rattled. So he’s been in studying overdrive over the last half a year or so, which means we haven’t watched any moves (Dark Knight!) or really gone out. Usually when I go to parties, it’s just me and Ben - Dave’s studying back home. Even when we went on vacation, it was just me, Ben and Dave’s parents. So hopefully he passes and we can have a normal life again.

So please, please keep him in your thoughts today. I know he’s been stressing about this a lot!

Tags: Quickies by Yano
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When I was little, I used to have recurring dreams about sharks. The most popular shark recurring dream was me about to get into the bath and finding the bathtub filled with sharks. I think that’s why I’ve never learned how to swim - there’s always a part of me that’s terrified of what lies beneath the water.

I don’t have those dreams anymore, but I still have recurring dreams. My recurring dreams now are of me losing my bottom front teeth. It’s weird, I know, but in my dreams my teeth fall out at random times. You’d think that this would prompt me to go to the dentist to make sure that this doesn’t happen, but the opposite has happened - I’ve been avoiding the dentist because I hate the pain and a little, tiny part of me is afraid my teeth are going to fall out.

However, I’ve been feeling a bit of sensitivity in my molars, and I know that I can’t avoid the dentist forever, so I went online and searched for a dentist with some good reviews. Luckily, there was one by my house. So I made an appointment.

Once I got there, there was a TON of paperwork to fill out. Your usual “new patient” stuff - medical history, who to contact in case of emergency, etc. There were also questions like, “Does going to the dentist make you nervous?” (yes) “what don’t you like about going to the dentist?” (PAIN, that scraping sound, PAIN) “Do you have any special needs?” (i need to keep my teeth) and “when was your last cleaning?” (I have no idea!). I wanted to make it pretty clear that the last place I want to be is in the dentist’s chair.

After filling out my paperwork, the dental hygienist called me into room with THE CHAIR. I got myself ready for the inevitable pain and that I was going to be in for a really rough cleaning because of my dentist avoidance. My hygienist was a friendly Filipina, and when she sat me down we talked a little, and it went something like this:

HER: You look really familiar, have you been here before?
ME: No, this is my first time here
HER: Do you live in the area?
ME: About 10 minutes away, though I’m not usually around here. I don’t think we’ve met before.
HER: Hmm, I guess not. But I swear I’ve seen you before…
(now at this time, I’m thinking, “Oh my god, what if she’s a blog reader?!?”)
ME: Umm, I don’t know
HER: Where did you go to school?
ME: I went to U of I
HER: Oh! OK!
ME: Did you go there, too?
HER: No, not me, but do you know “Bill XXXXXX”? (names have been changed, obviously)
ME: Oh yeah! I know him! He used to date my best friend “Jamie YYYYYYY”
(Now at this point I’m thinking it’s his sister or cousin…but then she says…)
HER: (Pausing) I’m his fiance.

UM. AWKWARD.

Now right after she says that, a million thoughts race through my mind - first one is, “DAMMIT! WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH!” Other thoughts revolved around the fact that for the next hour she would be holding sharp instruments inside my mouth, possibly even a drill. Why did I say I was best friends with her fiance’s ex? Why was that nugget of information important? Couldn’t I just have said, “Yeah, cool man, I know him…” Instead, I just laughed and congratulated her and told her how great of a guy he is (because he IS a great guy) but it was a little weird.

Lucky for me, she was an absolute sweetheart and constantly asked me if I was OK. There was a lot of scraping going on because of my infrequent use of dental floss, and the retainer on my bottom front teeth is every dentists nightmare to clean. However, she said that for someone who hadn’t been to a dentist in recent memory (and come on, with my memory I could have been to the dentist last week and not remembered) she said my teeth weren’t all that bad. I’ve got a couple cavities that need to be taken care of in a couple weeks, but after that, I should be good to go. No root canals, no plucked teeth, no dentures, just ask long as I make sure to take good care of my teeth.

The visit went so well that I decided it’s time for Ben to go to the dentist. He’s got an appointment today and I’m really curious to see how it will go. We brush his teeth as often as we can, and he always get a little sticker afterwards. He’s still a very clingy child, so I’m not sure if he’ll like the dentist’s chair that much. I’m preparing myself for a lot of screaming, clawing and a good case of hives breaking out during his checkup. Wish us luck!

update: thanks to the other tara - i know i had looked up the interpretation of the falling teeth dream before, but I had forgotten what it meant. click here for the interpretation of the falling teeth dreams.

Tags: Whine and Cheese, Stories by Yano
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Almost done processing the 300+ pictures from Alaska. I just got Adobe Lightroom and I’m having way too much tweaking and playing.

Not sure how productive I’ll be tonight, though, with the premieres of Dancing with the Stars and Heroes on at the same time. Heroes will have to be DVR’d since Dave and Ben both like DWTS (Dave for Brooke Burke and Ben for the fancy dancing). I’m curious to see how Kim Kardashian does, considering she’s done NOTHING, and I’m excited to see Warren Sapp show his moves. Though I wonder if DWTS has jumped the shark, considering TV show poison Ted McGinley has joined the cast. No offense to Ted - I loved him on “The Love Boat” for as long as the show lasted with him on it.

As for Heroes, I just want to know who’s alive and who’s dead! I’ve seen pictures of cast members on the set who are supposedly dead (or who we assume are dead) so I wanna know what the truth is. It’s been so long since this show has been on that I’ve almost forgotten what’s happened. And PLEASE, let’s not let Hiro jump around in the past anymore. He was so fun and endearing the first season, and ultimately boring the last. I want to love this show again!

Tags: Uncategorized by Yano
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7:01 - I liked the opening, with television actors giving their favorite lines

7:03 - I’m not sure about having 5 hosts for the awards, we’ll see how things go! But I have to say, Heidi looks DAMN sharp in a suit, and I love it that she’s taller than the rest of the guys.

7:08 - Oh god, they’re bringin gup William Shatner. God help us. I feel a disrobing happening! And there it is…Heidi in sparkling hot pants.

7:09 - Tina Fey’s figure is incredible. Amy Poehler, not so much. Oh wait, is she pregnant? They’re presenting supporting actor…I’m pulling for Kevin Dillon because I freakin’ LOVE Johnny Drama. And the winner is……Jeremy Piven. All good - he’s a Chicago boy! Nice burn on the opening segment.

7:12 - Josh Groban is going to sing TV’s greatest theme songs? I’m afraid that’s going to sound awkward, I mean, come on, Josh Groban singing “The Facts of Life”?

7:14 - I’m sorry New York, I still hate Macy’s. Although I admit to having shopped there because the temptation of Clinique Bonus Days is stronger than my dislike for the store.

7:19 - Supporting actress in a comedy…I’m pulling for Amy Poehler because she’s had an AMAZING season on SNL. Jean Smart wins. Mmm, that’s nice. I’ve seen Samantha Who. It’s a funny show. Jean thanks Christina Applegate, man, I really hope that Christina wins for best Comedy actress!

7:29 - Supporting actor in a drama - Michael Emerson was born to win this Emmy! He’s incredible on LOST and ever scene he’s in is incredible. I’m tired of Shatner! However, Zeljco Ivanek wins. Well, that’s close - he starred as Juliette’s husband on LOST.

7:32 - Ricky Gervais is always funny. I love the montage of exceptance speeches, especially the Colbert/Stewart win from last year. It was a great bit, and Steve Carrell does a great job keeping a straight face. So far, the best moment of the night.

7:43 - I love Conan O’Brien. He’s presenting supporting actress in a drama series. I think I’m pulling for Sandra Oh…she had a lot to deal with on Grey’s Anatomy, though I’d also love Chandra Wilson to win, too. But, they split the votes and Diane Weist wins.

7:45 - Male geeks of the world rejoice - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettiere are on to present! They’re presenting the writing awards, this award is always the best one to watch, just to see how they present the writers. Conan’s seemed like it was going to be kinda boring as they showed what looked like a class picture of children from all over the world, but in the end it zooms out to a picture of Conan and Angelina Jolie’s kids.

8:02 - Oh, the moment that we’ve been waiting for - Josh Groban. It feels weird - the theme to Friends was just manic and a little scary. However, they get extra points for bringing out Animal during the Muppet show theme, and extra credit for doing South Park. I feel like I’m watching a show on the cruise ship again. I can’t tell if I like it or not! Josh’s voice, to me, is much more appropriate for the Carol Burnett show than it is, um, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. But he was a great sport, and pretty gutsy to take it on!

8:08 - Laura Linney wins an award for John Adams. I actually watched that - it was pretty good, and hopefully one day she gets an Oscar. She’s a terrific actress. I think it’s great that she thanks “the community organizers that helped form our country”. Was that a dig at Sarah Palin for being dismissive of Obama’s work as a community organizer?

8:22 - Pushing Daisies wins! That’s so awesome - it’s my favorite new show from the last season. If you haven’t watched it, make sure to catch it this year.

8:28 - Tina Fey wins for something. I’m not really paying attention right now because Ben has fallen asleep and I’m using this sleepy time to clip his toenails and give his hair a trim - something I’m unable to do when he’s awake because he’s a spaz. I really don’t care if I mess up his haircut because we’re going to be cutting most of it off in October for a wedding anyway!

8:42 - This “National Stay at Home Week” thing ABC’s got going on is pretty dumb. Sad thing is, I’ll probably stay at home this week because Dancing with the Stars and Heroes are premiering this week!

8:43 - Laurence Fishbourne is taking over for William Peterson? That’s pretty cool.

9:00 - It was so funny to see Kathy Griffith all flustered by an out of control Don Rickles. I could hardly understand half of what he’s saying! Too bad it’s blatantly obvious that the show is running overtime. Loved it when Tom Hanks called Sally Fields “Mama”. I’m really hoping that Paul Giamatti wins for Best Actor - he hasn’t won an Oscar nor has he won an Emmy. It’s about time.

9:38 - A lot has happened since Ben woke up and I’ve been trying to get him to go to sleep (he saw Tom Bergeron and thought Dancing with the Stars was on). Bryan Cranston wins an Emmy, and I’m so happy for him - he’s did such great work on Malcolm in the Middle, and he’s totally transformed now.

9:42 - Tina Fey wins again! Best Actress for a Comedy - it was a really tight race, and all the actresses were deserving. You know, if it wasn’t for Lorne Michaels, she would still probably be behind the scenes writing instead of in front of the camera making us laugh.

9:52 - Mary Tyler Moore is still beautiful, but her arms are so skinny!

9:54 - 30 Rock wins for Best Comedy, no big surprise there! Tina Fey reminds people of different ways they can catch the show. Hopefully they get more watchers now, though that probably won’t happen. I’ll still love them!

9:56 - LOST was nominated for an Emmy? I didn’t know, though I doubt they’ll winn. Mad Men wins, and I’ve never seen the show before. Maybe I should check it out!

9:58 - Wow, the show has ended early. What a surprise!

All in all, it was an OK show. Really, I don’t know why these shows need hosts at all. I’d be happy with a big booming voice coming out of nowhere announcing the presenters. I’m glad that 30 Rock won so many awards, though truthfully I don’t watch as much TV anymore so I don’t catch it on as much as I’d like.

Any of you out there watch it? What’d you think?

Tags: Reviews by Yano
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…and we’re getting a little closer today!

Today the Cubs clinched the NL Central Division at Wrigley, and from what it looks like on the news, Wrigley field has become the biggest block party in the country! Although we won it last year, we didn’t clinch it by winning a game - we clinched it because another team lost. But this year, we won a pretty nervewracking game against our biggest rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals. Afterwards the team came back out on the field and sprayed champagne on the crowd and rejoiced with each other. Life is good in Wrigleyville!

It’s hard not to get my hopes up - this year would be the perfect year to finally win the World Series - 100 years after the last win. I’m sure the rest of the fans feel this way…we just want it so bad!!!

Supposedly, Cubs legend Ernie Banks asked Evanston, IL native Eddie Vedder (heard of him?) to write a song about the Cubs, and here’s what resulted. A song, though not as joyous as “Go Cubs Go” (a song that was heard pretty often this year), still conveys, on a deeper, sweeter level, how Cub nation feels. Comcast aired a nice video montage at the end of their broadcast today with the song:
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Someday We’ll Go All The Way
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Yeah, don’t let them say that it’s just a game.
Well, I’ve seen other teams and it is never the same.
When you go to Chicago, you’re blessed and you’re healed, The first time you walk into Wrigley Field.
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Heroes with pinstripes and heroes in blue, Give us the chance to feel like heroes do.
Whether we’ll win and if we should lose, we know Someday we’ll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we’ll go all the way.
.
We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we’re in love.
Hold our heads tall as the underdogs.
We are not fairweather, but farweather fans.
Like brothers in arms, in the suites and the stands.
There’s magic in the Ivy and the old score board.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
In a world full of greed, we could never want more.
Someday we’ll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we’ll go all the way.
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Here’s to the men and the legends we’ve known.
Giving us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we’ll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, “oh, let’s play two”.
I think he meant two hundred years.
Playing at Wrigley, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our fears.
Keeping traditions, and wishes anew,
The place where our grandfathers’ fathers they grew.
The spiritual feeling if I ever knew.
And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I’m crying and covered with beer.
I look to the sky and know I was right today.
Someday we’ll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we’ll go all the way.
.

Tags: I Like Sports, Party On! by Yano
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I admit, I started out as a Mac user in college - the Photoshop software (like, 2.7 or something like that) and scanner were only hooked up to a Mac. But later, PC’s were just easier to use, and I’ve been using them ever since. Nothing against Macs. I’m just resistant to change.
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The Mac commercials that have been on the air in the last year or so bother me. I know that Justin Long is being presented as a cool guy who kind of feels sorry for the bumbling PC guy, and the commercials aren’t supposed to come across as mean spirited, but to me, they kind of do. Which makes me, a PC user, want to kick Justin Long in the face, even if I DID like his character in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. Apple was talking down to “us”.
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So when I heard that Microsoft was going to run some ads to improve their image, I was excited. “Yeah, let’s make PC’s cool again!” I thought. But then they brought in Jerry Seinfeld…who I loved - in 1998. The commercials came off as a little weird and uncomfortable. Is this what Gates is doing with his billions and his time?
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Today, though, I saw one of the ads that they’re using for “Phase 2″ of their re-imaging, and I think it’s definitely the right direction:
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Ahh yes! Anyone can be a PC user! We’re normal people - teachers, writers, scuba divers, French basketball players, astronauts. We’re all over the place!
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I like it.
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I’m a PC.
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…and if you’re wondering why there’s periods separating my paragraphs, for some reason my photo album plugin that I use for my Alaska pictures are messing up the formatting, so the period is a workaround.

Tags: Product Pimping, Video Gaga by Yano
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I remember a time, long long ago, when I used to update this blog all the time with funny life stories, comments on the world around us, and other things. It hasn’t been that way lately, though I hope to one day return to daily blogging about things a little deeper than big Z’s no-no (though that IS a very important event!).

There are times that I wonder what the hell I do in a day, why I don’t have time to do the things that I used to do. I know that Ben takes up a lot of my time - though if I pop in a movie usually he’s good to go. But I don’t see him the whole day when I’m working, so I like to spend as much time as possible with him after work. Dave’s been studying for his upcoming board exam, so he’s MIA most of the time - I like to joke that I’m a single parent right now, but for some reason he doesn’t find that funny :-P. I don’t have the same stressful, all night, high pressure work load that I had last year, though work still is busy. I guess that most of my time goes to taking care of the house - washing dishes (I swear I felt like all I was doing last weekend was washing dishes!), cleaning up after Ben (serves me right for buying him puzzles - that means there are puzzle PIECES to clean up!), making meals (though I haven’t made a meal completely from scratch in a while now) and other things.

Outside of that, I’m not sure what else I do with my time. Of course, there is internet surfing, TV watching and Wii playing in there somewhere, but is it really taking that much of my time? I have no idea…

Anyway, one of my goals this year is to not only to make better use of my time, but to KNOW what I’m doing with my time.

I guess once you get older

Tags: Whine and Cheese by Yano
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The Anchorage Zoo was full of beautiful flowers. It was raining that day, and there was a drop of rain coming off this one.

Happy Bokeh Wednesday!

Tags: Uncategorized by Yano
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