It’s incredible how big Benjamin has gotten. Not big like a regular 13 month old - he’s still pretty small for his age, but big in that he’s got such a personality and it seems like he’s a little boy already. I love spending time with him because he’s so much fun. He climbs, rolls, laughs, giggles and hides. It’s hard to imagine that a year ago he was this little blob that only pooped, peed, cried and ate.
Both Dave and I have been crazy busy these last several months. I’ve been busy with work and Dave’s been busy studying for his boards. It’s been a great help to have the grandparents help out with taking care of Ben, but daily maintenance of our home has been lacking. Laundry is undone, there are crumbs and crackers on the floor, the fish tank hasn’t been cleaned in recent memory.
One of the things that has been undone for a while is the light above our kitchen sink. It’s been out for several weeks now. Although we have a regular kitchen light, it’s still kind of dim around the sink, so I’m washing dishes in the dark.
I was hoping that Dave would change it, because it’s a weird light fixture and he did it before. But he’s been so busy that he hasn’t had a chance. So I decided to do it myself.
It’s hard to get to the light fixture, because it’s above the sink. I put a chair right next to the sink and had to put my foot on the sink to balance myself to reach the light. The light is actually in the ceiling with a frosted glass cover over it. I tried to twist the glass cover off, but it wouldn’t budge. After several minutes trying, I finally sucked it up and asked Dave how he did it. He told me that I needed to get a screwdriver to wedge the cover off the light. I grabbed a screwdriver and was able to wedge the cover loose. After some pressure and twisting, I was getting the cover off, little by little. Pieces of dust, dirt and ceiling fell on me and into the sink below. The light had this little contraption that made sure that the cover didn’t fall off, so it was difficult to take off. But with some prodding I was getting it loose, as more bits and pieces of dirt fell down.
Then I realized it wasn’t dirt. I looked down, into the sink to confirm my thoughts.
I screamed in horror when I realized what it was.
Carcasses.
Bug carcasses.
I guess that the bugs had gotten curious about the light, crawled up into the light fixture and died. There was a little mass grave up there, as could be seen by all the bodies in my sink.
Dave came down to ask me what was happening, and I cried, “Bugs! There’s bugs up here!”
“Are they alive?”
“No, it’s just bodies, dead bodies, but I thought it was dirt. They were falling ON ME and I didn’t even know!”
He shook his head and walked back upstairs.
I knew I was close to changing the bulb, just an inch or two before I could stick my hand in to remove the bulb. I resisted the need to put on a full body hazmat suit. However, I couldn’t stop myself from looking down at the various bug bodies in the sink. I reached in and unscrewed the bulb, took it out, and then tried putting in the new bulb. Because of the angle that my hand was in there (I hadn’t completely removed the cover) it was hard for me to screw in the new bulb. My head was filled with visions of the relatives of those dead bugs swarming up onto my hands to get revenge for disturbing the little bug graveyard. Finally, I got the lightbulb screwed in.
I sighed and felt proud of my achivement.
But next time, I’m going to make Dave change it. Either that, or get my dad to do it!
Today, I turn 32.
Isn’t that crazy?
I remember in years past, I’d always make a big deal of my birthday, hinting to people months before the day actually came. I would keep an internal countdown calendar to the big day. I would make sure that something big was planned, some party at a club, a dinner out with friends, or a shindig at my place.
This year, not so much. My birthday has pretty much crept up on me. I really haven’t had the time to think about my birthday. With work and Ben in my life, I don’t have much time to think of anything else. I’m living day to day now, with no time to think about things like birthdays. Even now, I really don’t want to make a big deal of it. Today I’m just going to hang out with Dave and Ben, go to Ben’s cousin’s birthday party (a carnival at the park!), and just chill out at home. I never thought I’d say this, but this birthday is just another birthday. I’ve got so much more to think about!
This is the first year that I’ve actually felt like an adult. I guess with the responsibility of taking care of another human being, you tend to feel older and more mature. I’m at a completedly different place in my life than I was last year, professionally and personally. But I can honestly say that I’m happy with my life. I have a steady job, but more importantly, a husband who loves me and puts up with all my crap, and an adorable baby boy who I can’t live without.
Of course, I can’t help but reflect on my life as a turn another year older. To date, I’ve led a good one. I love to reminisce about “the good ol’ days”, referring to crazy days in college or in highschool. After watching the Lost episode where Charlie goes over the most important moments in his life, I started wondering what my top 5 (or top 10, because how could I just narrow it to 5?) list would be. My horrible memory doesn’t really help the matter, so the list really focuses on the last decade or so, but here’s a couple that I’ve come up with so far:
1) Ben’s Birth, of course…the most memorable, emotional, crazy, surreal moment I have in my life
2) The day I got married - I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day. The sun was shining, we were surrounded by friends and family, we had a kick ass time in the limo, and although everything didn’t run perfectly, it felt like it did.
3) The first time I saw Dave - I thought to myself, “What a hottie!” yet, since my friend had a crush on him, only saw him as a hot peice of meat, not as someone I would eventually have a relationship with. Was I wrong!”
4) Sister trip to Florida - Our one and only sister vacation in Orlando. The most memorable moment? Driving on highway 4 in a red Mustang convertible next to some military trucks. We were like Thelma and Louise and some other chick.
5) The last time my mother laughed at me - I was living in California, but had come home to visit my mother in the hospital. I had lost a lot of weight because my client had a sushi restaurant, and I was doing a butt dance for my mom to show her how much smaller it was. She was laughing and shaking her head in that “I can’t believe that I gave birth to this fool”.
6) Waking up in our new house - it’s incredible to wake up and walk around your very own house. You feel so proud of your place and that this place belongs to you.
7) Senior year of college - although my whole college experience would be part of this list, if I had to pick out a year, it would be my senior year. It was full of ups and downs, but it was an awesome time. 
My Orlando trip with my girls - the first time we were all in Orlando together…pretty interesting times!
….those are all the BIG moments that I can think of right now, but there were a lot of moments that I’ve had that I consider memorable, but didn’t make the list, like…
- When I was on a flight to LA with one of my favorite comic book artists, and although he was in the front of the plane and I was in the back, he actually waited for me to get off the plane so we could talk about stuff. For that, I’ll love him forever no matter what happens!
- The wild and wacky trip that is known as “Christine Goes to Salt Lake City” - drama, alcohol, laughter and men in skinsuits and interviews in the hallway…who could ask for more?
- Watching Claudine get married
- Playing air hockey and watching donuts being made at Krispy Kreme with my favorite Olympian
- The first time I performed on stage, acting out a script that I wrote
- Family parties, playing the most inappropriate game ever - “Thrill Kill”, all night and screaming like banshees while doing it
- Telling Dave I was pregnant
- The first time Benjamin walked
- Getting a perfect score in a solo contest in 4th grade, I had to play my clarinet in front of a huge audience and I nailed it.
- Dancing with Wesley Snipes at a club
There’s a ton others, stuck in my memory somewhere, but these are the ones that come up in my mind when I think of when I look back at my life. These memories, and so much more, make me content with my life. If I were to die tomorrow, I would be OK with it, I wouldn’t wail about there being so much more that I have to do. I am happy with the life I’ve led, the good and the bad. I know that whatever life has in store for me, nothing can change what’s happened in the first 32 years.
So, yeah. I’m old!
Update: Now with pictures from Lost-Media.com
My favorite show on television right now is “Lost”. Admittedly, I’m not as obsessed with it as i had been in previous seasons. This season seemed to have lost a lot of steam. The first several episodes of the season were just OK. There weren’t many “Oh shit!” moments like when we first found out that Locke used to be in a wheelchair. It seemed like Lost had lost it’s luster. I didn’t even care too much when I had to miss episodes because of work. I was able to watch them online, but still, before I had LOVED watching Lost on Wednesday nights.
Then came “Par Avion”, the episode where we find out that Claire is Jack’s half sister. A good episode that ended with the first “Oh shit!” moment that I’d had in a long time with the show - Sayid, Kate and Locke go to save Jack from the Others, only to find him running away….then turning around to catch a football from Mr. Friendly. All I remember thinking was, “Whhaaaaaaaaat?!?”
Next came the episode that we’d all been waiting for - the one where we find out how Locke ended up in his wheelchair. The explanation was ok, but the execution of it was pretty cool. Then came one of the most emotional moments of Lost - the first time that Locke is put into his wheelchair. It was gutwrenching to see the wide array of emotions that he goes through as he realizes he’ll be spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
Then was the filler episode that everyone wanted to happen - the death of Paolo and Nikki. Dave’s a little bummed because she went to his highschool. I’m sad to see them go…even though they were thrown awkwardly into the cast mix, they had potential. Now they’re dead. But dangit, they went out with style! Even though it was a filler episode, I still loved it because it wove the story of Nikki and Paolo through old scenes of the show, bringing back characters like Arzt and Ethan.
But after that, there was episode after episode of kick ass Lost…some of my favorite moments from the eps before the season finale: (spoiler alert!)
Girlfight between Kate and Juliet
Sawyer kissing up to the other Losties to avoid banishment We find out that Juliet is spying on the Losties for Ben Charlie almost dies…4 times “Want me to make you a mix tape?” - cutest line ever said by Sawyer, after trying to get Kate to do another round in the sack Frickin’ Mikhail COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD! Bittersweet - Sun finds out that her baby is Jin’s, but knows that since her baby was conceived on the island, she’s going to die Naomi tells the guys that flight 815 had crashed, and there were no survivors We find out something we knew all along - Locke’s dad is the original Sawyer The Others seem to be this creepy cult, and for some reason, it looks like Locke might end up being their Messiah Uncle Rico plays Ben’s dad
WTF was up with that scene in Jacob’s shack? At first, it seemed like Ben was crazy and talking to himself, but the “Help me” whispered in Locke’s ear and screencaps of someone actually sitting there make me wonder… The return of Bernard and Rose….where the hell have you been, my favorite interracial couple? “#1. The night I met you…” - the last words in Charlie’s goodbye to Claire, listing the most important moments of his life
All of these moments had made me SO excited for the season finale. However, there have been other season finales for Lost when I’ve felt cheated (like the one where they never mentioned what was in the hatch). Could the season finale match the awesomeness of the episodes before it? Would it answer questions?
Well, it turned out that the season finale was everything that I wanted, and more. There were several, “OH SHIT!” moments, and even a couple, “What the fuck?!?!” times thrown in there as well. I was on the edge of my seat for most of the episode (ok, lying on the couch with Ben sleeping on my chest, but I was near the edge of the couch!). This, to me, was one of the best episodes of Lost ever. Some questions answered, more questions asked, and an ending that left me sitting there, thinking, “HUH!?!?”
Here’s my thoughts…definitely spoilers in here:
I have to say - when I saw Jack on the plane with a beard, I thought to myself, “When was this? Is this the future?” but then I said, “Nah…” I love Rose…she is my favorite Lostie next to Hurley. Jin’s farewell to Sun made me teary-eyed, especially when he said, “We have to go home” in English. *wah* Dude, “Bonnie” in the Looking Glass played Carrie in Days of Our Lives for, like, 4 months I can’t help but stare at the fleshy area where Mikhail’s eye used to be. Remember this guy from “Toy Soldiers”? One of my favorite movies just because the guys walk around in their underwear for half the movie.
I couldn’t believe that they shot Sayid, Bernard and Jin. I was so worried about Rose and Jin. I was so relieved to find out that they were still alive. Juliet kisses Jack. Yano growls and grinds her teeth. Grrrrrr…… I love to read “The Lost Diary”, which originally started on TMZ. Daniel over there has the best little quote about the exchange between Mikhail and Ben in the Looking Glass: “Mikhail is pissed and now Henry wants him to kill everyone. It’s like, “Hey, sorry I lied on all these years, but can you do me a favor and kill a bunch of people for me? Thanks, you’re the best.” Only Henry Gale could pull that off.” Why is everyone always so mean to Hurley? He’s only trying to help. I was so happy when he came to save the day in his VW van, and kept on mentioning to Jack on the walkie talkie - “Yeah, I saved them all!” John Locke is paralyzed again, in a pit with a bunch of rotting bodies. Will he live? Ohh….we hear a voice. Who is it? It’s Walt! Walt’s back! He left the island an 8 year old, he comes back…25 years old! Well, that’s how old he looks now…
Jack tells Kate he loves her. *sigh* That means that they’ll never be together. Oh well. Sawyer’s going to need a booty call when he gets back. Speaking of Sawyer, he shot Mr. Friendly! I actually liked Tom. He seemed like an OK guy. I think Sawyer’s in a dark place right now, we might see jerk-ass Sawyer come back next season, which means a lot of tears for Kate. Poor Kate, tears for Jack, who will inevitably hook up with Juliet, and tears for Sawyer who’s going to be an ass to her. I think that Ben is right - I think Naomi’s people are going to be baaaaad news. I’m so happy that Alex finally got reunited with her mom, Rousseau. What a touching moment. Especially the part where Rousseau says, “Want to help me tie him up?” “Who is Naomi?” - Penny. Uh oh, that means trouble! Too bad that Desmond didn’t get to see Penny on screen! Dammit, MIKHAIL JUST WON’T DIE, will he? In the past, if you asked me who was expendable on Lost, the first person I’d say was Charlie. But as I said, over the last few episodes, he’s redeemed himself. He was awesome in this episode. He went out like a hero, closing the door of the room when he could have very well escaped. Why didn’t he? Because he wanted to make sure that Desmond’s vision came true - that Claire was saved. He had one more act of heroism - with his last moments he warned Desmond that it wasn’t Penny’s ship. Bye Bye Charlie!
I admit, I sniffled a bit when Aaron, aka Turniphead, was crying at the moment when Charlie died. *wahhhhh* Jack makes a call to meet someone. Shadowy figure comes out of a car. It’s Kate. She looks awesome - just a touch of makeup does her good. So now I’m SURE that this is a future flash. My head is spinning, it’s hard to concentrate on the show because my head is thinking a thousand things. Jack says that they should never had gotten off the island. Kate says she has to go back to “him”, I’m assuming Sawyer. Or maybe she hooked up with Hurley…but the main thing is THIS IS IN THE FUCKING FUTURE. *brain explodes*
So who was in the coffin that Jack went to see? My guess is Locke or Ben…at first I thought Sawyer, but the scene with Kate changed my mind. So what happens now?!?! It’s obvious that the Losties are saved, and brought back to the real world. Maybe next season of Lost isn’t even going to take place on the island. Maybe we’ll see what their lives are like once they’re saved. Looks like Jack-o isn’t having much of a life. Maybe the reason he wants to go back is because on the island, he was the leader, he had some purpose, he was the hero. Back in reality, he’s just falling into the same traps as his father. My head is still exploding…
Hot damn, that was a good episode. Sorry for babbling on so long…I’m just so excited that the show is BACK. Well, it’s back, but then it’s gone again. Friggin show doesn’t come back until 2008. 2008!!!!!! What am I going to do with myself until then!?!?!?
Last week, I went bowling when I was in Canada. We went to this hole in the wall bowling alley, but we had a lot of fun. The bowling shoes, however, were pretty crappy. I think they were about 20 years old. The first time I went to throw the ball, my ankle felt weird, it kinda popped a little.
Ever since then, I’ve had intermittent pains in my ankle. It hasn’t been swollen and the pain isn’t constant, it’s just every now and then, I’ll feel a sharp pain and the feeling that something just isn’t right with my ankle.
The instances have been happening more and more often since last week, so I decided to get it checked out. I went to the hospital to get an x-ray on my ankle, and it was just the weirdest experience. I’m lying on this table in this big room, with the x-ray machine above me. The technician then takes my ankle, puts it in this weird-ass position, and says, “can you rotate it to the left a little bit? Now move your toes up…ok, that’s it. Let’s hold it there…” I felt like I was taking school pictures! He took several shots, two different angles of my ankle, and then I had to lie on my side for the last one. Each time I felt like my body was contorted along with whatever crazy angle my foot was in. If I was actually in a lot of pain, taking the x-rays would have been pretty painful.
I find out the results today, though I’m going to be in Milwaukee so I won’t really be able to do anything about it until tomorrow…wish me luck (and don’t say “break a leg!”)
I always forget to post mine in here…either that, or I don’t have time. But I’ve got some time this week, so here’s some of my favorite pictures! I tried not to put in too much Benjamin, because you guys get that every week, but one of ‘em snuck in there.
2) Short Track Speedskater Rusty Smith
3) Relaxing in Aruba
4) My Favorite Shade
5) Sunset over Green River
6) Bonsai Tree
7) Caribbean Islands from the Sky
Ready to Bloom
9) Surfer
10) My Boys
Just a quick happy birthday to my baby sister, Fatima!
Last week, Ben and I went to go pick her up where she works. She works at a community for children and adults with developmental disabilities. In the two years that she’s worked there, this was the first time that I’ve actually had a chance to see where she goes every day.
Two weeks ago, if you were to ask me who the strongest sister was, I would have said Fatima. When our mother was sick in the hospital, it was Fatima who came every day with my Father to help take care of her. Even though she’s the baby of the family, she has been our strength, the one who has been through the most.
After meeting her ‘kids’ and seeing what she does, day after day, I’m even more impressed by her character and her will. It’s not an easy job working with people with developmental disabilities. It’s tiring physically as well as mentally. I know that I would have a hard time doing it. However, Fatima does it with a smile on her face, and it’s obvious how much she loves her kids and how much they love her. She is making a difference in so many lives.
So happy birthday, once again, little sister. I am so proud of the woman you’ve become, even though I know you’re still a boozing whore during the weekends. You’re making a difference, and Mommy would be proud. I love you!
…and Claudine, I’m proud of you, too, if you’re reading this and thinking, “what about me, bitch?!?!”
Last Saturday, we went to Sammy’s 2nd birthday party. It was the first time that we all have gotten together with our little tykes in a very long time. In the last two months, Ben has gotten two more new friends, both little boys. So right now, we’ve got all boys in our group of friends, and no girls. In a couple years, there’s going to be a ton of little boys running around, and no little girls. It’s weird how out of a group of friends, all six babies are little boys. If I extend it to my family and other friends, then I can throw in nine more babies. The only person I know of who has had a baby girl (and has another girl on the way) is Dave’s cousin. So of the seventeen babies that have been born in the last two years, only two have them have been girls. Crazy, right?
Anyway, here’s the pics from the birthday…
Wednesday morning, I got up bright and early in my crappy hotel to try and catch the first flight out of Toronto. After being chased around by a massive roach/beetle, I packed my stuff back up and headed to the airport.
At the check-in, I was told that there was an earlier flight (though not the early one I wanted, which was full), which the guy on the phone I talked to the day before didn’t tell me about. I took it, since it got me into Chicago earlier, actually coinciding with the time that my other coworker would be getting into O’Hare. I knew that I had to go straight to Milwaukee once getting to the airport, but I was hoping to see Ben before heading out there. However, by taking the earlier flight I could just ride along with my coworkers to Milwaukee and get there earlier. I was supposed to be in Milwaukee at 7am, but with the whole weather debacle and my flight being cancelled, the earliest I would get to Milwaukee was 11:30am.
Then I had to go through U.S. customs again, answering the same questions about my reasons for coming to Canada. This time the border agent gave me a hard time about my passport - it still has my maiden name. I explained that my driver’s license has both names, and he then told me that anyone could get a driver’s license, that it really wasn’t an official document. Flashes of being thrown into an underground dungeon once again flashed before my eyes. Fortunately, he stopped being a tool and let me through.
I know I say this all the time, but I love flying into Chicago. My heart just dances on the plane, seeing my hometown from above, knowing that I’m home. It was especially nice this time around since we were flying from the north. Usually I’m coming from the east or the west, where I’d see all the little homes of the city. Coming in from the north I got to see the nice big homes and the lakes and golf courses of the affluent northern suburbs. The flight in was a little bittersweet, though, because I knew that even though I was flying into my hometown, I wouldn’t actually be going home.
We landed and I hooked up with my coworker and we got my bag (which had actually come on the early flight which I was stand-by on and had to be freed from a cage.) Our project manager then picked us up and we headed out to Milwaukee.
It’s always a difficult situation when you’re coming onto a client site late. Luckily, we’ve been working with this client for a while and they were understanding.
This was the first time that our whole team was together onsite. Later that night several of us just hung out in the hotel talking about the project. It was nice to hang out together and talk face to face, rather than on IM or e-mail.
I finally got home yesterday…and I missed my little baby boy so much. I hugged him and squeezed him until he couldn’t take it anymore. I had thought that now that he’s older, now that he’s walking and everything, that trips away would get easier, but in some ways, it’s worse. I miss his personality and crazy little antics. Fortunately, I’ll be home most of next week, so I’ll get to hang out with him every day.
It’s good to be home!
I was supposed to go home tonight, but due to a mass of thunderstorms that shut down the Toronto airport (and caused a lot of delays at O’Hare as well) I am still here in Canada. I had to go through US customs to board the plane, which was an earlier flight that the one I was scheduled for. But after about 3 hours on the plane, we realized we weren’t going to go anywhere.
I’m pretty bummed. Tomorrow (today) I have to be at my Milwaukee client to do a 7am demo, and the a full 2 day workshop. Also, I was going to spend my night hanging out with Benjamin, who I miss terribly right now. Alas, that wasn’t the plan for me - i was left to simmer in a too hot airplane with a bunch of grouchy passengers, and having to go back through Canadian customs once they finally cancelled the flight I was on because the pilot was over his work hours.
I then waited 45 minutes for my luggage, which was pretty wet when i got it. I waddled over to the airport Sheraton, praying that they had rooms open but seeing all the people around me who had the some thing in mind, knew that it wasn’t going to happen. I then called the hotel I stayed at yesterday, but they had no rooms. I got in touch with 5 other hotels, all packed with people. Finally I got a hold of an inn near the airport that had 2 rooms left - one non-smoking room. I waited another half hour for the shuttle to pick me up.
My inn/hotel is a little shady, though the guy at the front desk was a really nice guy. The floors here are stained, there’s a musty, almost-urine smell in the hallways and the bedcovers look like something out of the 1970’s. But hey, it’s a place to put my head down and I’m thankful that I even found a place, sparing me from sleeping at the airport. Also, there’s wireless internet, which is always a great thing for a hotel to have!
So tomorrow, I’m probably going to go directly to Milwaukee without stopping at home first. I’ll already be late for my workshop, so I don’t have time to stop at my place. I won’t be home until Thursday night. *sigh* Things like this are always stressing to me.
I miss my baby!
