20 Questions

1. Have you ever ran into a glass door? Yes. But unlike some people I know, I didn’t take down the screen door.
2. Name 3 names that you wish were yours. As first names: Rowan, Cassandra, Zoe
3. Do you have more than one screen name? More than there are grains of sand in the sea. But I usually stick to ‘MissYano’
4. Have you ever licked a light bulb? No.
5. If you could buy one celebrity for a day, who would it be? Mark Wahlberg
6. If you could get rid of one celebrity who would it be? Juliette Lewis. For some reason I’ve never liked her.
7. Favorite color? Purple.
8. What is the worst thing you’ve done? Um, I can’t talk about it. Think ‘Office Space’
9. Is it illegal? Just a little
10. What’s your favorite band/singer? Don’t have one, but I’m fond of Coldplay and Alicia Keys
11. What is the most outrageous thing you would do to get someone’s attention? I dunno. I do a lot of stupid things.
12. Who is your favorite cartoon character? Chilly Willy
13. What hospital were you born in? Grant Hospital
14. Are you an AM baby or a PM baby? AM
15. Is your house a one-story or two-story? Two story, with a kickass basement.
16. When you were little, did your parents sing you to sleep? If so, what did they sing? They sang all the time. Lots of songs.
17. Who are your closest friends? I’ll just name one, because the list would be too long. Jaygee.
18. Who is the person in life that has had the biggest impact on you? My highschool band teacher. He loved us like his own kids and he fought so hard for us when the schools tried to bring us down.
19. Do you enjoy family reunions? Love ‘em.
20. Are you one to express anger or do you keep it bottled up? I’m pretty much internal, all the time. I could count on two hands the times I’ve lost my temper.

Ten Great Video Games

In honor of Halo 2, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Everquest 2 coming out, this week’s topic is:

Ten Great Video Games

1) Super Mario Brothers
2) The Sims
3) Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater
4) Pitfall
5) Mortal Kombat
6) Super Bomberman
7) Bust a Groove 8) Streetfighter
9) Yoshi’s Cookie
10) Thrill Kill

Next Week: Ten Things You’re Thankful For

It’s Like Being Naked in Public, But Worse

So here’s a little interactive thing for you all out there. Here’s a pretty weird dream yesterday, so I was wondering what you guys think of it.

So me and some friends are going to a concert - a KISS concert actually. (I was totally scared of KISS when I was a kid) We were having a great time, we had face paint on and everything. We were rockin the house.

Afterwards, we hung out with the band and we invited them to another party we were going to that night: A surprise party for Martha Stewart. Because in my dream, I KNOW Martha Stewart.

We get to Martha’s house, and I’m hanging out in the kitchen, and Martha comes in. She doesn’t know about the party, yet she isn’t surprised to see me hanging out in her kitchen. We must be really good friends. Anyway, we chat for a bit and then I say, ‘Let’s go sit in the garden’. We go into the garden and everyone comes out and yells “Surprise!”. She’s totally surprised.

So I spend the rest of the night mingling with celebrities and other people. Something doesn’t feel right. People are cordial and nice to me, but a bit distant, some are even cautious. The party winds down and there are only a few people left.

I’m left talking to this one woman at the end of the night and she asks me, “Are you famous?” I tell her no and she then asks, “Are you a rock singer or something?” I once again tell her no and I have no idea what she’s talking about. I look over to the bar and see my reflection in the mirror.

And to my horror, I realize that the whole night, I’ve been walking around with my KISS makeup on.

I quickly tell her why I have the makeup on and how I’ve just realized why people were so weird to me all night.

Then I wake up.

Ok. Interpret away!

Happy Birthday, Dave!

Today is Dave’s big 3-0. Lots of 30th birthdays this year!

I actually woke up extra early this morning (which is a great feat in itself and shows how much I love this guy -because he leaves for work at 6am) to make him an extra special birthday breakfast of pancakes, eggs and sausage. I’m a breakfast making queen!!!

Of course, after making him breakfast, I went back to bed and missed my regular train.

But it was worth it!

Happy Birthday, Dave!

One Year

My mother passed away one year ago today.

It’s been a tough couple few weeks, realizing that this anniversary was coming. It brought back a lot of memories, and lot of feelings, a lot of ‘what if’s. Now that it’s here, I don’t really know how I feel.

I guess it feels just like it was yesterday. For some reason, I thought that the pain and sadness would ease off and that I’d come to terms with it, but although the sadness isn’t as constant as it was a year ago, there are still times that I’m falling into the sadness, falling with no sight of the bottom.

It’s obvious that I miss her a lot. There are so many times in the last year that I needed her, that she may not have helped me with, but I would have been comforted to know that she was just around. Of course, the right thing to say (that people have been telling me) is that she’s watching from heaven, that she’s with me all the time. Yes, I know that. But it’s just not the same.

The other day I looked back at the eulogy I wrote, which is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write, and the hardest thing I’ve ever had to read - outloud, and to a room full of people. One thing that I reflect on a lot is how she took the time to talk to each one of us, telling us what she wanted us to do once we were gone - to take care of each other. She was always the one to take care of us, the glue that held our little pretend extended family together. The co-mother to a dozen kids. Now that she’s gone, the group has come a little undone. I guess sometimes you forget the things that hold you together. Your sadness is so great that you try to set yourself apart. One thing that I didn’t write about was my mother’s power of forgiveness. That’s a trait that I definitely got from her - the need to make everything in the world right. The want to make everyone in my life get along, to be happy. When me and Claudine would fight (which was often) she’d always tell us to make up, for me to leave her alone, for us to get along. It was that way in all aspects of her life. She would always be trying to make peace with people. Now that she’s gone, there’s a little less peace in our lives.

Yesterday, we had a prayer mass for the one year anniversary. The place, just like her funeral mass, was packed. We thought we had so much food (and anticipated a week of yummy leftovers) but there were so many people that there was just enough food to satisfy everyone. My mom was all about the food, so I’m glad that everyone had enough to eat.

One of my mom’s coworkers was there, and she was pretty unfamiliar with Filipino parties. I guess outside of the Filipino community there is not one year anniversary prayer luncheon. But we Filipinos like to dwell on such things (as I do here). She asked me, “I think that this whole thing was beautiful, but I have to ask you, does it help at all?” And I had to think about it. Does it really help? Is my sadness any less? “In a way, it does help. I don’t think it will stop the sadness that I feel every now and then, but it helps in knowing that there are so many people who loved her and who miss her. And she would have loved to see so many people here, eating, talking, laughing, reunited with each other.” Because if there was one thing my mom loved more than food, it was food at a party with all her friends. And they were all there yesterday. Yesterday wasn’t about sadness or grieving, it was about celebrating life, celebrating each other. Oh, and eating. We did a lot of eating.

Today, well, I wish I could just skip today. I’m going to work and I hope I don’t end up a teary eyed mess. I’ll likely just throw myself into work so I don’t have time to think about anything. Time to dwell on my thoughts. Time to think back a year ago and hear the wailing and crying of the people in the room. Time to remember counting the seconds between her breaths before she took the last one. Time to remember just standing there, holding her lifeless hand, talking to her spirit to tell her that I love her.

Whoa. Better not cry on the the train.

So anyway…

I miss her a lot. Today is going to be a tough day to get through.

Here’s some lyrics from the song “There You’ll Be” by Faith Hill, which was playing on the radio as we drove away from the cemetary after the funeral:

Well you showed me how to feel
Feel the sky was in my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I’ll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you
For all my life I’ll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there youll be

Love you, mommy.

I Can See Clearly Now…

I can see clearly now the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that made me crash
It’s going to be a bright, bright sunshiny day

On Friday, I finally got new contacts.

For the last 3 months I’ve been surviving on glasses that weren’t the right prescription. My left eye had gotten significantly worse after the surgery, so even with my glasses, the sight in the left wasn’t great. But I had to wait for my eye to heal before I got contacts.

My eye doctor had deemed November to be the month I could finally go back to contacts. I got them on Friday, and when I put them on, I was floored by the clarity of my vision. So THAT’S what it’s like to see with 20/20 vision! The world was so clear, so vibrant and sharp. I was giddy. And after the eye check, my doctor actually said I was at 20/15, sharper than most.

So I breath a sigh of relief, to be able to wear contacts again. But I’ve gotten so used to my glasses that I keep on pushing my phantom glasses up my face. But they’re not gone forever. Now that I have a pair of glasses that I’m not ashamed to wear in pulic they may come out every now and then.

But not in the near future!

Happy Belated, Melamonster!


Just want to wish a Happy Belated Birthday (but I was around to party with her yesterday) to my cousin Melanie. She hit the big 3-0 yesterday and was treated to a wonderful surprise party at the Improv Kitchen, with some dancing after at the Darkroom.

Good times!

Love you, lady!

The NBA Won’t Be the Same

After a night out with the gang, we were listening to The Score (of course - Dave was driving) because Dave wants the Illini score from the night’s game. Then we heard about the fight against the Pistons and the Pacers in Detroit. They said it was a pretty ugly fight, but we had no idea how bad it was until we got home and saw the replay.

It all started when Detroit’s Ben Wallace went in for a layup and was fouled hard by Artest from behind, and escalated when Artest stormed into the stands after being hit by a full cup.

After being fouled, Wallace wheeled around and pushed Artest in the face. The benches emptied and punches were thrown.

As the players continued shoving each other near center court and coaches tried to restore order, Artest sprawled out on his back on the scorer’s table, looking relaxed.

Just when it appeared tempers had died down, Artest was struck by a cup and beverage thrown from the stands. He jumped up, and charged into the stands, throwing punches as he climbed over seats.

Fans were punching back, and Jackson and another teammate joined Artest in the melee.

Actually, the fight between Artest and Wallace was over, with Artest laying down on the scoring table. Ironically, after the goul it was Wallace that was going after Artest and Artest was just walking way, eventually getting pushed down on the table and resting. Nothing more would have happened. But then someone threw a drink on Artest’s face, and he just lost it, running up and climbing over the stands and starting to hit the wrong guy, with the dude who threw the cup trying to restrain him and then later throwing some cheap punches in.

Then the whole thing blew up.

It was fucking crazy, and pretty upsetting.

Ron Artest was at fault for losing his temper like that and crossing that invisible barrier. But a lot of the blame goes to the fans that take it too far by assaulting Artest, and the other ones who made the cheap shots on the players when they weren’t looking during the melee. I don’t care if these guys are making millions - when you’re provoked, you’re provoked. When people are throwing things in your face, when they’re throwing cheap punches at you, you’re going to fight back.

But those idiot Detroit fans made fools of themselves. I’m not talking about all of them. But those guys who were in the the fight, who threw the punches, the people who were throwing things on the team and the coaches as they were leaving the court. Something said on ESPN was “Fans believe that when they pay to go to these games, they are not only watching the games, they’re a PART of these games.” Which isn’t the case. We go to these events to support the athletes. To watch them and enjoy the games. Not to be in their faces. Not to harrass them.

Where was security? Security should have been in there like THAT. Quicker than lightning. Surrounding the players right after the original scuffle started. But I didn’t really see anyone. I saw a broadcaster coming out and try to control people, but I hardly saw any security in there.

Thanks to this, the fans and the reaction of the players, the game won’t be the same. There’ll be barricades separating the court and the seats. Courtside seats? Gone. Forget it. Beer in the second half? No way. Anal probes before you go into the stadium? You betcha.

Sadly, the line between what fans can do and what fans cannot do is getting blurred. Athletes not only have to worry about getting injured on the court, but now they can worry about getting injured by a fan.

I’m not excusing Artest’s actions. He lost his temper. He should get suspended. But it could have all have been prevented if some asshole in the stands didn’t try to be cool and throw his drink on the opposing team.

Lamar Odom of the Lakers saw it for the first time as he was being interviewed.

“Whoooo. When you see things like that, just think about what it takes for NBA players to go into a crowd,” Odom said. “Sometimes fans get kind of out of hand, but it must have taken a lot for NBA players to go into a crowd and start a fight.”

Poor Jim Gray, the reporter for ESPN who was at the game. Just watching him talk about his experience is saddening. You can tell that he’s affected by it, as he speaks his voice is shaking as he says he’s never seen anything like this.

Neither have I.

And I pity the people who were at the game to enjoy it. They’ve been showing a shot of one of the player’s kids, who’s hugging his older brother, crying because you could tell he was scared for the safety of his dad.

What’s happening to our society?

Is this the NBA or the Vibe awards? It’s getting really hard to tell the two apart.

That’s What It’s All About

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at the age of 93. The most difficult part of this sad loss for his family was getting him in to the coffin. They put his left leg in and that’s when the trouble started.

—-brought to you by current coworker Sam.

The Onset of Adult ADD

Lately I’ve been more distracted than usual. At work, I’ve got a lot of things on my plate, but sometimes I just don’t know where to start, or I forget where I left off. People talk to me and 10 seconds into the conversation I’ve already zoned out and I have to ask them to repeat themselves. I’m constantly in motion, constantly doing something, constantly thinking, constantly analyzing.

I guess it’s because of all the stress I’ve been under. Added on to the stress that I had last month with the company being sold, taking care of the house, recovering from emergency eye surgery, etc, all this business with the car accident has added on additional worries for me. I’ve been an emotional yo-yo for the last couple weeks, and I’m sure it’ll all come to a peak in the next week - my mother’s death anniversary. Hmm…not looking forward to that day. Just thinking of locking myself up in a room on that day.

So I’ve noticed that my attention span has been near zero the last couple weeks, and that it’s been really hard for me to concentrate. I saw a commercial the other day which said:

“Feeling distracted, disorganized? Trouble waiting your turn in line? Fidgety? Maybe you have adult attention deficit disorder, or adult ADD, and need to see a doctor.”

Hey, that’s me! But do I really need to see a doctor? You know how I am with doctors. Except the one I’m married to, of course. So I found this online quiz:

Jasper/Goldberg Adult ADD Screening

…and I got a 67. “Moderate ADD or ADHD”. Whoo hoo! I may have a mental disorder. Kind of ironic that I was a psych major, no? I thought my lack of attention span was because I was a Gemini, who are supposed to be mercurial, scattered, restless and lacking in concentration. Does this mean that all Gemini’s have ADD?

Of course, I’m taking this quiz at a very stressful point in my life. I’m sure if I took it 5 months ago the results would have been very different. Also, there are some people who question the validity of the testing for adult ADD, saying that a lot of the symptoms are just a result of living an adult modern life. And I agree.

At least now, when someone gets frustrated with me when I’m not paying attention to them, I can just say, “According to Dr. Grohol, I have moderate ADD, so please be patient with me.”