Busy
Mace Windu Gets Busy: Chicago Comic Convention, August 2003
Mace Windu Gets Busy: Chicago Comic Convention, August 2003
Green
I know it’s a day late, but here’s this week’s
South Michigan Ave in Green: Chicago, IL - March 2003
Treading Water
I guess today is just one of those days…
One of those days when you just need a comforting word or just a little piece of home, because it feels like so long since you’ve been gone, and it never comes. One of those days when you just feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and you don’t know if you can carry it anymore. When old ghosts come to haunt you no matter how much you try to rise above them, to forget them, you can’t get away. You try to turn your life around, but you realize that you can never get away from the past. When you feel so alone…
Sometimes I feel like I work so hard to give my life some sort of normalcy, to be true to myself, yet become the person that I want to be. But for every step forward, there’s always that chance of falling back again.
I just want to be happy. Isn’t that what everyone wants? And I am happy, for the most part, I’ve got a great husband, live in a nice area, do fun things, but there’s a part of me that’s off. I don’t know any other way to describe it.
Sometimes I just don’t know how to be happy. I try so hard to build up a world around me, to feel safe, to be the way I want it to be. But it’s all glass, and it’s so fragile. I’m afraid of it all falling down.
I guess I’m just really tired today. And maybe just homesick. I just feel sad, so so sad.
I’m tired of traveling. I’m tired of being sleepless at night. I’m tired of feeling like I’m swimming upstream.
Most of all, I’m tired of missing my mom. Life is so hard knowing that she’s not around. Even though I’m surrounded by people, sometimes I feel so alone. I love my life now, but I miss the way my life used to be. I’m just not the same anymore. I feel like I’m destroying everything around me…
Sorry for the rant.
It can’t be happy in Christineland all the time.
Fat Tuesday: Goodbye Red Meat
Can’t write for long. Gotta finish before the big VP comes back in.
Tonight, I feast on steak and wine, celebrating Mardi Gras to the fullest.
Tomorrow, no more red meat or pop for 40 days and 40 nights. Wish me luck!
Ten on Tuesday
Since I’m traveling…I thought this would be a good one for this week…
Ten Places You Want to Visit
1. Maui
2. Athens
3. Rome
4. Fatima, Portugal
5. Colorado Springs 
6. Alaska
7. Brazil, preferably by Irio and Trully’s
8. Sydney
9. The Great Wall of China
10. Tokyo
Use this to link:
http://www.yanowhatimean.com/archives/001130.html
Add a comment when you have yours up, or if you don’t have a blog, feel free to just post your answers here! If you have any suggestions for future Ten on Tuesdays, just email me.
Shopping Spree
Well, the VP didn’t bring enough socks, so it gave us a good excuse to hit the local outlet mall after a hard day at work. I had fully intended to buy some clothes for Maui, but ended up just buying a lot of cute t-shirts and a sweatshirt. And some imported food. But since it’s outlet prices, I only spent half as much as I would have regular price! I feel like I haven’t gone shopping in the longest time!
I also met up with Stephani who doesn’t live too far away. After driving around aimlessly for a while, stopping by a Starbucks that closes way too early, we settled down at a late night Denny’s type place whose name I can’t recall. We hung out for a while, I checked out her pics from SLC and Marquette, which brought back a lot of memories, and we gossiped as only ST fans can. But we also talked about politics, Academy Award prospects and life in general. It was pretty cool. It’s always nice to know someone in an unfamiliar place.
So now I’m starting my second shift. I’ll work for a couple hours, but I’m kinda pooped, so maybe I’ll turn in early today…
The Big Five
Got this from Mike’s site:
| The Big Five Personality Test |
| Extroverted | |||||||||||||| | 52% |
| Introverted | |||||||||||| | 48% |
| Friendly | |||||||||||||||| | 66% |
| Aggressive | |||||||||| | 34% |
| Orderly | |||||| | 30% |
| Disorderly | |||||||||||||||| | 70% |
| Relaxed | |||||| | 30% |
| Emotional | |||||||||||||||| | 70% |
| Openminded | |||||||||||||||| | 70% |
| Closeminded | |||||| | 30% |
Hmm…this is pretty true, I guess. I’m always teetering between being outgoing and being really shy, which is why the extrovert/introvert is so close. And yeah, I’m a slob, which accounts for my disorderly score. I’m an emotional marshmallow, so yeah, I’m not surprised with the high emotional score, either. Anyone else wanna take this?
The Good Life
To think, last week I was in a Comfort Inn in O’Fallon, Missouri, and this week I’m in a snazzy Hotel and Spa in Napa, California.
What’s the difference?
This week I’m with the VP of the company. So she gets to stay at the nice places, and where she stays, I stay, too. I even get to be on the concierge level.
I haven’t seen her in a while, and we’ve had a very up and down relationship over the past several years. Sometimes I’m on her good list, sometimes I’m on her bad. Looks like this week I’m on her good list. We were in the car driving to Napa for about an hour, and we had a pretty interesting talk, about work, people at work, the industry, etc. She also asked me about how my family was doing, and how I was doing, which was really nice. I know when she hired Fatima, she had a long talk with her about our mom, too. My VP had also lost her mother to cancer, she knows what I’m going through. It was nice to talk to someone who has been through what I’ve been through, and she was pretty frank with the range of emotions that she went through, and she told me that even though her mother had passed long ago, not a day goes by that she doesn’t think about her, and to this day she still get angry that her mother is gone. I kinda figured that that’s the way it’s going to be from now on….but it’s good to know that I’m not the only one.
Yesterday I helped a friend film a movie. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with acting, and I was pretty out of it. But it could also be because I was a little frustrated because I was told to be at the location at 10, so I woke up early because the drive was about an hour. Then after waking up and getting ready, I got a message that the time was pushed to 11. Those of you who know how much I love sleeping in on the weekends will know that this didn’t make me happy. Then I got to the location, and no one was there yet. The owner of the house just let me watch TV while I waited. At around 11:30 my friend came with another person in his group, but we couldn’t get any filming done til one of the other group members came, which ended up being around 12:30-1:00.
I don’t mind helping out my friend. But I think I was just upset that I came on time, and we didn’t get work started til hours later. Because of this, I stayed there til about 9pm. True, part of it was my fault because I couldn’t get my lines right, but considering that I got the script the day of, I did what I could. I’ve never been one to have a good short term memory especially when it’s a long chunk of speech. My weekends are really precious to me, especially weekends where Dave isn’t on call. He may as well have been on call because by the time I got home he was tired, and today I had to leave to go to Oakland.
But I did have fun, which made up for it. I’m a little apprehensive as to how I’m going to look and sound, because seeing myself on film always makes me cringe. I’m really excited to see what the finished product is going to look like since we did a lot of green screen stuff. We’ll see how that goes!
So tomorrow, I actually have no idea what I’m going to be doing, which is typical on trips with the VP. I think I could be teaching a class tomorrow. Or maybe installing the product. We talked about it in the car, but she wasn’t clear and I didn’t want to sound like I had no idea what’s going on.
I’ll just let myself be surprised tomorrow…
Word Association
- Angel:: Dust
- Birth:: Day
- Logic:: Reason
- Stars:: Circus
- Nursery:: Rhyme
- View:: Top
- Hart:: Rabbit
- Creation:: Story
- End:: The
- Fortune:: Wheel
Sweet Memories
There’s nothing like watching a movie filmed in your home town to bring back memories of people, places and things.
Tonight, we’re watching ‘Saved the Last Dance’, which Dave has never seen before. It was filmed in Chicago, and the club scenes were filmed at Crobar, a place that we went to many a time. Coincidentally, we were going to go there one night but discovered it was closed, and later found out they were filming the movie there.
Anyway, it’s the club scene, and I reminded Dave that the movie was filmed in Crobar. We’re doing a lot of comparisons, like how Crobar is usually way more packed, and that it’s awfully bright for a club. There’s one part where Faith Evans’ ‘Love Like This’ comes on, and it just makes me want to dance. And the reaction that the song gets on screen is the same reaction it would get in a club. But not Crobar - I don’t think they’d ever play it in Crobar! But it reminds me a lot of when we used to be club kids. Then they follow the main characters around the bar area. Dave exclaims, ‘Hey! I threw up there! That’s where I threw up!’
Oh yes, sweet memories indeed.
