There were many lessons that my mommy taught me growing up. A lot of them didn’t really sink in, like not reading without sufficient lighting, not to laugh too loud, sleeping with my hair wet or not wearing makeup before I finished college. But the one lesson that she taught me that I will never forget, that I will follow for the rest of my life, was to love. She never explicitly said, ‘Christine, this is how you should love…’ I think if she said that I would have run away screaming because I would have thought it was the start of the dreaded birds and the bees talk. Thankfully, I never got that speech. But she did teach me how to love. She showed me by her actions, and by living her life for other people, and loving everyone she knew.

And by loving, she has showed me that you are loved in return. Look around you tonight. All around you are people that loved my mother. Even if you never met her and are here because you knew me or my sisters or my father, you loved my mother because we are a reflection of her love. She was a mother to not only me, Claudine and Fatima, but all my cousins as well. Whether she was called Cris, Pining, Tita Cris, Mommy Cris, Mars, Deng, Christine, Claudine and Fatima’s mom, or just plain Mommy, she touched all that knew her. There was something about her that drew people to her. She cared about everyone, she was a mother and sister to all.

In the last days, she made it a point to speak to each one of us. Not just my sisters and my father, but my aunts, uncles and cousins also. She told my cousin to be a good girl, my other cousin to finish college, husbands to love their wives, for my uncles to take care of my dad, for my aunts to take care of her daughters, for Dave to take care of me… And before giving each person her message, she told each one that she loved them. And even though my cousin Jeffrey wasn’t there, I know what she would have told him: “Jeffrey, I love you. Cut your hair!” Which he did. And if you see him, tell him he looks great. She was always thinking about other people, even until the end, when she told my father, “You can rest now”, knowing how many sleepless days and nights he spent worrying. She never thought of herself. Rather than feel sorry for herself, she was comforting other people.

My mother also taught me not to be selfish, which for me, is pretty hard. When my daddy called me to come home, I was three hours away from my apartment in Long Beach, and to tell the truth, the first thoughts in my head were selfish. Mommy wouldn’t get to see her first grandchild, or Claudine and Fatima get married, or Marilyn graduate from high school, or me and Dave get our first house. But then I realized what a full life that she had led, with three beautiful daughters, a family surrounding her that loved her, and a husband who was so dedicated and who was still so in love with her after 30 years that he stayed by her bedside every day and night in the hospital and was her rock. I could only hope that one day, I’m as loved as my mom, that I leave a legacy of friends and family like she has. My children and my children’s children will be told what a great woman their grandmother was. H ow generous, she was, how she fought adversity with strength, courage, and love. I have a feeling that I won’t be the only sharing her name with generations to come.

The last thing I learned from my mother before she passed away was how much I was not alone in loving her. In movies, you see the woman’s children and husband surrounding the bed as she passes away. When my mommy took her last breath, there were literally thirty people in the room. Thirty people who were crying, praying, and hoping to have just one more minute with my mommy on this earth. I held her hand, and I didn’t want to let her go, I was selfish. But I knew that it was her time. And when she took her last breath, thirty hearts broke in the room.

Suddenly I found that there was a hole in our lives, a house that feels a little emptier no matter how many people are inside. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. We’re all a little lost. She will be missed by so many. But we can all take her greatest lesson and pass it on. Don’t be afraid to love. Because it comes back to you tenfold, and it makes the hardest journeys a little easier when you see the love you have shared reflected in those around you. Through us, my mommy lives on. Thank you.