I just finished watching the Chicago Cubs rally downtown (on TV of course, because I'm a good girl and don't miss work, heh heh) and I'm a little emotional. I'm so glad our team has made it this far (and really, it makes our home a bit happier so Dave isn't trudging around like a grumpy bear). However, with this euphoric, happy feeling, comes that nervousness, that nagging feeling in the back of my head that says, "Don't get TOO happy now". Dave said it best when he said, "I feel a Bartman hiding behind every corner", which he didn't coin himself, but I don't know where he got it from.

As a city, we are overjoyed to win the division, but we know that the journey is still a long one. Yet, we have rallies, we wear our division shirts and hats proudly...and the lyrics of "Go Cubs Go" are heard throughout the city:

...oh, and I didn't want to tell y'all until I knew we made the playoffs for sure, but guess who scored tickets in the bleacher section for Game 4?

Me!

ME! ME! ME! ME!

Whoo hoo! Go Cubbies!

A couple weeks ago we went to Mike and Sue's wedding. It's kinda crazy, I've known Mike for half of my life. It was really great to be there on his big day, and to know that he's found his life partner. I've seen him with a myriad of ex-girlfriends, from the crazy ones to the ones that were nice, but just not right. His wife, Sue, is wonderful, and knowing that her friends and family are genuinely good people makes it even better.

So here's some pics, if you'd like to see the whole set, go here.

The theme of the night was Movies

The new couple!

Mmmm, cake!

The Boys!

I just wanted to confess something to you guys...

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know that I'm a novice at cooking, that I make mistakes like shredding cabbage for tacos instead of lettuce. But since we must eat to survive, eating out is too costly, and my in-laws don't invite us to dinner every day, then I have been forced to practice the art of cooking.

Since I'm up late at night working, I often have "Iron Chef" or "Top Chef" on Bravo on. I'm fascinated by the fact that these people can come up with amazing food right off the top of their heads. For me, cooking involves carefully measured ingredients, timers, and hours and hours of chopping things. But by watching these shows, I've learned that you don't have to stick by the book, you can just use your sense of taste and what you think would taste good.

So here's my dirty little secret - I LOVE COOKING! Yes, I can't believe I've said that, and 2 years ago, cooking was like torture to me. But now, I've allowed myself to not get stressed over it. It has become less of a chore and more of an artform, a way to express myself through food. Although I still use recipes, I've learned to go off on my own. Even with recipes, I know when I can add a little splash of this or a dash of that to make it better.

I'm always working to make myself better, though I think it annoys Dave when I keep on asking him, "How is it? Can I make it better? Was it better last time?" Maybe I should just have a comment card for him to fill out after he eats.

So yeah, if I wasn't so busy working, I'd be a cooking fiend! As it is, I really only get a chance to cook something interesting about once a week...

Posted by Yano at 06:24 AM | Comments (6)

Interesting article I found on Yahoo! today:

The High Cost of Being a Workaholic

The best workers are well-rounded professionals with full lives, in and out of the office. Each year, new studies abound about the importance of vacations, hobbies, and enjoying your leisure time. But are you listening?

Your friends and family will be in your life a lot longer than you'll hold most jobs. Also, pursuing leisure activities you're passionate about can lead to a second career.

Cheng concludes, "Work-life balance is a choice. If you reflexively say yes to taking on extra work, you may live to regret it."

Eh. It would be nice to be able to say, "No, I can't do that".

Hmph

You know, I've always carried a little bit of a grudge against Claire Danes for the remarks that she made about the Philippines way back in '98 - calling the capital, Manila, a "ghastly and weird city". I think she's the only celebrity in the Philippines who has her movies banned from being screened.

Since then, I've just had this negative feeling towards her, even though I loved her in "My So Called Life". I started warming up to her again after watching "The Family Stone", because I admit, she truly is a great actress. But I still had that little nagging feeling about her.

That changed last weekend. Fatima had been wanting to watch "Stardust" for the last several weeks, and I finally had some free time to go out and see the movie. Truthfully, based on the commercials and my Claire Danes issues I really didn't feel like watching the movies. I'm a Neil Gaiman fan, so I did read the book, but it was so long ago that I really didn't remember much about the story outside of it being about a man hunting for a falling star, which ends up being a woman. But Fatima wanted some quality time, and I admit, I was curious.

I went into the movie with pretty low expectations. I knew that the movie had a pretty high profile cast - Danes, Michelle Pfieffer, Robert DeNiro headline the movie. But based on the trailer, it just looked so-so. If it wasn't for Fatima, I probably would have just waited for this movie to show up on cable.

I'm happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised at how good the movie was. The movie had the perfect mix of fantasy, adventure, romance and comedy. I found myself very involved in the movie, laughing at the funny parts and sighing during the romantic parts. Danes was excellent, and the lead in the movie, "Charlie Cox", was charming as the reluctant hero. The movie totally goes crazy once DeNiro comes on screen, and I don't want to spoil the scene for you, but let me tell you, I would have NEVER figured DeNiro to pick the role he did. He goes all out in his role, and is definitely the highlight of the movie. Michelle Pfieffer is back after being in hiding for several years, and she looks gorgeous. I was also surprised to see Sienna Miller in the movie as well - I think the is the first movie I've seen with her and she truly is a beautiful woman.

If I could compare this movie to any other, it would be "The Princess Bride". Of course, this movie doesn't hold a candle to it, but it's as close as I've seen. It takes you to a magical land, with fantastic characters, good and bad. You really feel for the lead characters, you truly want them to be together and your heart swoons during every special moment they share.

So if you get a chance, go out and see this movie. It's a lot of fun, a great escape into a wonderful world of fantasy.

I'm part of a football pool at work, and everyone has a cool name for their team. I'm overtired, over worked, and really lame, so all I could come up with is "Mama Bear".

Anyone got any better ideas for a cool name for my football team? I don't want anything with "Yano" in it - remember, these are work people, they don't know about my secret internet life (well, at least I pretend that they don't know.)

Suggestions are welcome!

Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been...um...really old. ;)

I miss her, every day....

When You're Gone
Avril Lavigne

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

So I'm on vacation for a couple days, for my annual outing to the Wizard World Comic Book convention. It starts today, but I actually had yesterday as a day off just to rest and hang out.

It feels like it's been so long since I've had a vacation (last "official" one was in February). Life has been going so fast and work has been keeping me so busy that I haven't had time to stop and take in the world around me.

So yesterday, I ran a couple errands, went crazy shopping at Hobby Lobby, and took Benjamin to the mall. I let him play in the play area for about an hour (there's all sorts of things for kids to tinker with and climb there) and to tell the truth, it had been the best hour I've had in months. No computer, no phone calls, no running around and multi-tasking...just me, sitting on a bench, watching Ben climb up a fake bridge and slide down, always running around to start over again and giving me a smile of pure joy.

It was his 16 month birthday (yes, I still keep track) and although he's still tiny for his age, he makes up for it in his want to be like the big kids. Other mothers commented on how amazed they were that he could climb the objects like the older kids for being such a little guy (he was the smallest kid who was able to walk around).

Who knew that doing something so simple could be so wonderful?

Things might be looking up in terms of workload and stress, though I'm hesitant to feel optimistic, just because we're not completely out of the dark yet. We've found some alternatives to fix some big issues, but time will tell if those solutions will bring any baggage of their own.

Ever watch the movie "The Descent"? Without giving too much away, it's a story about cave explorers who find monsters deep in the earth. It's a struggle to stay alive and find a way out. At the end, the light at the end of the tunnel is found. After all the terror and suffering of the dark passages below, an opening is found, salvation lies in a beam of sunlight shining overhead, all that is needed is to climb a small pile of rocks, a tiny obstacle compared to the monsters below, to get to safety and a normal life.

But is it really the end? Will the monsters come back and drag us back into the depths of the earth? Is this all a dream? Can we escape and become "normal" again?

That's a bit how I feel. And depending on which version of the movie you watch, the outcome can go either way...the happy ending, or the really sucky ending. I see that light at the end of the tunnel, and I want to run to it, embrace it, and breathe a sigh of relief. But I'm hesitant to, since I'm not really sure that my trial has ended, and that the road to the end is as near as it appears to be.

Oh, and I guess I spoiled the movie for you...just a little bit, I swear. It's entertaining...you should watch it. In a very dark room. By yourself. Then you won't be upset with me for my spoilers because you'll be peeing in your pants with fear.

Ugh, I shouldn't write posts at 3 in the morning!

You can tell when I'm swamped with work by the amount of posts on the main page of this site. Sadly, that's how the main page has been for the last several months!

So yeah, I'm busy. I'm in what I call "critical mode" trying to figure out issues and put out fires. Luckily I've got a great team of people to work with, so I don't feel alone in my sea of stress.

But yeah, I've got a knot in my stomach, my shoulders are a bit hunched from the tenseness and I've had about an hour and a half of sleep. CRITICAL MODE!

*insert barfing emoticon here*

This site needs some emoticons! I need graphic representations of my feelings!

Yesterday after putting Ben to bed in his pull out bed, I sat on my couch to check my email for work (I had the "day off" yesterday, yet didn't). It was about 10:30pm. I stayed on that couch until 1:30am, working.

Today, I woke up, brought Ben downstairs to hang out and wait for his grandpa to pick him up, and logged into my computer. That was 7:30am.

It's now 1:30pm. I've gotten off the couch (non-Ben related) about 3 times. Twice to go to the bathroom and once to grab a drink and eat a couple of chips. Dave's on his way home from work and he's getting fried chicken for lunch, so it looks like I can just eat my lunch on the couch and not have to get up for anything.

Usually, I'd go upstairs in the office to work, but I'm too lazy and too busy to get my ass and all my computer gear up there.

Work, work, work...I shouldn't even be taking the time to type this!

Just a nice little story for today...

Wisconsin community aids lemonade stand robbery victim with cards and cash

OSHKOSH, Wis. (AP) -- An 11-year-old boy who was robbed at his lemonade stand is seeing another side of humankind in the outpouring of support he has received since his story was reported.

Austin Cundy says some people have asked if he would like to set up a lemonade stand at their businesses, while others have sent cards with money or offered to replace the $20 that was in his plastic container when it was taken Tuesday.

"I think it's very nice that people care,'' he said Thursday.

Austin was using the stand to raise money to go camping with his grandparents and to buy his mother a birthday present.

He told police he saw two teens eyeballing him as they bicycled past, then one of them punched him, shoved him off his chair and took the container along with his wallet.

A tip from the public led officers to the home of a 17-year-old boy on Wednesday where officers found a container but no money, police Sgt. Steve Sagmeister said. The teen was being held on suspicion of robbery and physical abuse of a child, pending formal charges, he said.

Austin's mother, Nicole Cundy, said the community's response has been impressive.

"All of these people are showing how much they care about a little boy they don't even know,'' she said. "It's wonderful.''

Source

Dave and I were driving around a neighborhood once, trying to find our friends house. We saw some little kids on the side of the road, selling lemonade. Feeling charitable, I told Dave to stop and pulled out a couple dollars. The girls had a little table set up and were sitting on a cooler. Their parents were sitting in the garage enjoying the day.

I stuck my head out the window and said, "We'll have two glasses." The little girls were elated to have customers. One girl carefully poured the lemonade into a little plastic cup while the other said, "Fifty cents, please!"

Fifty cents?!?!? I was expecting it to cost more for some reason. I handed her a dollar and she proceeded to reach into her little money box to get change. "Nah, keep the change" I said. Her eyes opened wide as she said, "Thanks!"

Her partner in crime brought over our glasses of lemonade and Dave and I were back on our way.

I took a sip of the lemonade and wanted to spit it out. It was pretty watery and just had a hint of lemon and sugar in it. Probably the worst lemonade I've ever had. Dave felt the same. We joked around about driving back to the girls and throwing the lemonade at them as we drove by.

But of course, we didn't.

It was pretty fun to imagine, though!

Hello everyone!

I woke up last night, on the couch, at around 3am. I was on the couch because Ben and I had fallen asleep, and Dave had come to take Ben upstairs and asked me to wash the dishes. I said, "yeah, yeah" and promptly fell back asleep.

I woke up at around 3am, and thought, "OK, I'll wash the dishes now", and lay there for a couple seconds. Then I heard a big "pop!" outside and then all lights went off in the house. I went into panic mode (because I REALLY afraid of the dark) but luckily my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and the lights from outside gave me a little light to see with. I ran upstairs, fumbled around in the closet to change out of my jeans and jumped into bed, waiting for the power to go back on so I could wash the dishes.

Turns out it was a long wait, since the power STILL isn't back on. This morning I had to help Dave manually open the garage door so he could leave for work. Then I had a 7:30am conference call which my uncharged phone battery only lasted for 45 minutes on, and that was plugged into my laptop for power. I realized that all the phones in the house are cordless and don't work if there's no power. I couldn't find just a regular phone to plug in.

So here I am, sitting at the White Hen (like a 7-11) across the street, keeping vigil on what's going on with the power guys working on the streets in front of the house. The "free internet" sign on the store always intrigued me, and here I am, using it. However, there aren't any power outlets handy, so I'm going to head over to the in-laws to work today.

Argh!

Today is NOT a good day.

Just wanted to show off my new toy. My previous phone had been falling apart, even though I had only had it for a couple years. I also had some phone envy after seeing some of my coworker's phones at our conference in April. Often I'm at a client site where I don't have access to company email or the internet, and having a web-enabled phone was a good idea.

So after a little bit of shopping around and research, I finally went for the Sprint MotoQ. In terms of performance and price, it was definitely the best option for me. I still haven't set it up for my company email, but so far, so good, it's working well for me. I've also become quite the texter, thanks to the easy to navigate keyboard.

The main con I had for the phone was that the charge didn't even last 12 hours. It was really annoying because I would have to turn off my phone for part of the day if I was traveling just to make sure that I had enough power in case something happened with my flight. Of course, I hadn't taken time to read the manual, so it was only a couple weeks later that I realized that if I turned off the "Constantly recieve data" option (or something like that) then my battery life moved up to 3 days.

So I'm lovin' my little MotoQ, it's slim, light, and has all the functions I need!

It's been a while since Ben had seen him cousin Kenzo, so his mom and I decided to have a play date. It was agreed that the location would be the Chicago Children's Museum over at Navy Pier. I hadn't been there yet, and was curious to see what the place was like.

It was horribly busy at Navy Pier, which was no surprise, since it was a Saturday. Trully had both boys in tow, little Leonardo and "too cool for a stroller" Kenzo. Let me tell ya - if I ever have another kid, I don't think I'll be going out of the house again - EVER. Just watching her trying to handle both boys gave me a headache! How do people do it?

There was one point where she left to go to the bathroom and I was left with all the boys. Leo was no problem - he's still a wee one so he was going to stay in place in his baby seat. However, whenever I would spy Benjamin, I would lose Kenzo. Whenever I would find Kenzo, then Benjamin would magically disappear. I also had to make sure that both boys didn't grab toys away from the other kids, or, in Ben's case, get too close to unruly bigger kids.

It was still a fun day, the boys really had a great time. Especially in the water room, where they got to play around with water and boats. Ben was very serious as he was experiementing with the mini water fountains and what his hands would do to them. Kenzo, on the other hand, was a little more adventurous and got pretty soaked.

Here's some pics of the boys - I had been planning to bring my nice camera, but I had forgotten it at home so I used my phone camera.

Waterboys

In His Raincoat

Kenzo the Rock Star

I'm going on about 12 total hours of sleep since Monday, which explains why I haven't been able to update my beloved blog.

I miss you all.

Tired. So tired.

A couple weeks ago, Ben and I slept over at my Dad's place, the house were I grew up. It was a little weird to sleep in my old bedroom, which had been converted into a guest room. The bed is in a different place, the drawers are against the other wall, the drapes are different, the floor is now polished wood, rather than my shaggy mauve carpeting.

Its always great to come "home" again. I call it home, because to me, it will always be home. It doesn't matter that my dad has changed the flooring, added new things to the walls or, the thing that bugs me most - rearranged the items in the kitchen drawers (come on now, it takes me 5 minutes to just find a spoon!) - it will always be home to me.

We went to church the next day, which hasn't changed as much as our house. Ben was an active little bugger, and I took him to the back of the church midway through mass. He had a great time walking around the back, trying to go down the stairs to the church basement, talking to other people in the back...he was a little clown.

Afterwards, we went to the cemetary to visit my mom's grave.

Now, I haven't brought Ben to my mom's gravesite yet. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but I just haven't found the time or the occasion to. I know that it would also be a very hard thing for me to do. It's hard enough for me to go there without him. This was the first time he went there.

Before that day, I had imagined a hundred times what it would have been like. We drive up there, just the two of us...maybe I would bring a blanket so we can just sit and chat with his Lola (grandmother). As soon as we get to the gravesite, I would be holding him in my arms, and I would say, "Mommy, this is Benjamin. Benjamin, this is your Lola." Then I would bust out in tears and sob and sob, with poor little Ben trying to figure out what was going on. I would then throw myself on her grave and beat the earth, wailing and trying to catch my breath. It would take me hours to recover.

But it wasn't like that. Probably because my dad was there, too, and I always tend to throw up the emotion dampener when he's around. We got to her gravesite, and Ben toddled next to us. He stood upon my mom's grave and started picking on the grass. I told him to get off because it was rude to step on his grandmother. We said a couple prayers as Ben explored around him. No tears, no wailing, the earth did not feel the wrath of my pounding fists. Just a well of emotion knowing that my mom was watching over us, smiling, and probably rolling her eyes at the realization that I am grooming a Mini-Yano.

I still miss her a lot. She would have loved Benjamin and spoiled him rotten. I can't let another year go be before visiting her with Benjamin again. I want to make sure he knows his Lola and the incredible woman that she was.

Independence Hall

I took this picture two years ago in Philadelphia. I had finished up with a client early and had several hours before I needed to go to the airport, so I decided to go to the historical area of the city and check things out.

I joined a tour of Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence was signed, as well as where the Constitution was debated and written. It was really cool being there, and I soaked up the history of the building, imagining the Second Continental Congress sitting there, in a room that's as big as two of my living rooms, deciding the fate of our country. Representatives of the colonies, trying to put aside differences and agree on separating themselves, as a new country, from England. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and other figures from history, sat in this room. It was an incredible feeling.

If you haven't seen the movie "1776", you should. It gives a lot of insight into what happened in the months before the Declaration of Independence was signed. Sure, it's a musical, but it's also very interesting. As a bonus, you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow's mom, Blythe Danner, in the movie. When you see her, it's obvious who she is!

So I hope you all have a great holiday today. It sucks that it's in the middle of the week, but hey, it's still a day off!

Yesterday we attended Dave's graduation from his residency program. It's been a long, challenging 3 years for the both of us, but we've made it throught. It was a great dinner at the swanky hip W hotel downtown. We got a little lost when we were trying to find it, since there was construction on the streets surrounding it. We came across this building and I was like, "Is this the W?" Then I felt like a big idiot because there was this huge statue in the front in the shape of a W.

We brought Ben with us, as well as Dave's parents, his aunt, my dad and his brother and girlfriend. I was worried that Ben would be grouchy since he didn't sleep on the way there. He was so enthralled by the sights of downtown Chicago, he kept on pointing out the window at the various buildings and shouting, "Da?!? Gogoodada?!?" Yes, his vocabulary could use some work!

The dinner was at the top floor of the W, looking over the lake and Navy Pier. After the dinner we had a great view of the weekly fireworks show. By then, though, Ben was out like a light.

Ben was a little testy during dinner, but he didn't fuss too much or start crying. He just wanted to move around from person to person and threw a lot of his food on the floor. Many people remarked on how well behaved he was, so I guess other people's kids are much rowdier at the table. Either that, or they just weren't paying attention.

The dinner was ok, although because of Ben I only ate half of my halibut. After the crappy food at the W in Seattle, I didn't have high expectations for the food here. The fish was a little dry, and the couscous had too much pepper. Eew.

They had some cute video spoofs, with jokes that only doctors could appreciate. There were also photo montages of the graduating residents. It was cute to see Dave's fellow residents as little kids. I had submitted some baby pictures (and I was nice and didn't submit the ultra embarrassing ones) and Dave was surprised to see them on screen. "Where did they get those pictures from?" I just shrugged my shoulders and looked away.

After the dinner, our family went home, with my dad assigned to babysitting duties so Dave and I could attend the after party. It had been a LONG time since I've been to an after party, and even longer that I've been out in Chicago past 2am. Which is hilarious, because when I was 22 my dad imposed a 2am curfew for me which I broke every weekend. But that's another story.

The after party was at this gorgeous downtown condo that had views of both the east of downtown, which included the John Hancock building as well as my old building, and the south, which includes Sears Tower. I don't know if it was because most people had several drinks in them or because I was just tired, but I didn't have my little social freeze thing that I usually do at functions like that. I mingled with no problem, talking to different people about a multitude of topics. (By the way, Melanie and Chariya, Rob P from gradeschool says HI).

At the end of the night, with my feet hurting (it's been a while since I've been in heels) and exhausted, I played the designated driver and drove my man home. I had already decided to do that earlier in the night, because on our way to the after party, Dave insisted that I "press the button" to cross the street. FYI - there aren't buttons to have the walk sign appear when you're in downtown - there are so many people down there the walk sign comes on automatically. However, when I told him there wasn't a button, he went up to a pole and looked for one.

So now, Dave's done with school. Of course, he insists, he's not done with studying because as a doctor he is always learning. But he's done with the schooling part and the giving lectures part. I'm proud of all the hard work he's done, and I have never regretted the sacrifices we've had to make to get to where we are today. I'm also happy to say, that next month, I will no longer be the breadwinner of the house.

Bring on the sugardaddy!

;)

It's hard being a road warrior, finding yourself in a different city every week. When I was on pregnancy leave, I kind of missed the whole travel thing (and worried about being able to keep my Premiere status, which I have lost.) But I wanted to stay home to be with Ben and make sure that we bond together and that I wasn't an absentee mommy. That was one of the main reasons that I took on the client in Milwaukee - it was only two hours away (well, an hour and a half with my driving)

Lately, though, I've been traveling a lot more. As much as I love new experiences and seeing different parts of this country, the traveling life is a lonely one. I basically go to work in the morning, and usually by the time I'm done, all the cool touristy places are closed, so I end up going to the mall. Dinner is usually fast food, room service, or, if I'm feeling special, sushi, if I can find a good place.

This time around, I got lucky. I'm teaching a class this week, and one of my students invited me over to dinner at her house. I guess I should have had the "stranger danger" alarm turn on, but she was a sweetheart and if she did end up being a serial killer, people in the class knew where I was going and they would know to look in her dark and musty basement if I didn't show up the next day.

So I drove over to her place last night, which was an enjoyable ride in the hills north of Atlanta. I love the local roads around here. They're long, windy, and surrounded by lush green forests. Her house was gorgeous, and her husband and daughter wereawesome. They were so easy to talk to and joke around with that I immediately felt comfortable with them. We ate tortellini and freshly brewed sweet tea (y'all know how much I love that sweet tea!) Afterwards, we sat on the porch eating ice cream and just chatting about deep things like passport laws and dog farts. Although I knew I had a lot of work to do last night, I was reluctant to leave.

I take it as a big compliment when clients invite me out to dinner, even more so if it's out to dinner with their family or to their home. It shows me what amazing people they are, to be able to bring in this stranger into the lives of their loved ones, and even into their homes. I don't know if I'd be able to do the same thing (probably not, since my cooking sucks).

It was nice to have a sense of home, a sense of being comfortable around people while I've been here. As great as it was, though, I can't wait to go home tomorrow!

I know it's a little late, but I just wanted to wish all you dads out there a happy Father's Day.

We had a pretty busy day today. Woke up early and headed out to breakfast with Dave's parents, where Benjamin behaved pretty well, and ate all of his scrambled eggs. He then made friends with this old lady who had an oxygen tank. I thought Ben would have wanted to play with her tank, but he had more fun playing with the zipper on her purse.

We went to church after that, where Ben was a total trip. We were sitting in the back of the church so Ben could walk around. He was making rounds and made several friends. He was trying to steal the sunglasses of the woman who was next to me, so I gave him my sunglasses to play with. I found his broken pair of sunglasses and fixed them up. At first, he didn't want to wear them, but one he let me put them on, he loved them. He walked around the back of the church and was showing off his sunglasses to his new friends, giving them a cheesey grin.

After church we headed out to Brandon's christening. Of course, Ben made some friends there as well. He also grabbed the waiter's ass. Not because he wanted to, but because he was using the waiter's ass because he needed something to hold on to as he was going down a step. Pretty resourceful, my little guy!

To top off the day, we headed out to Leo's "welcome to the world" party. Since his kuya Kenzo had his shirt off, Ben decided to go shirtless, too. Though he did look a little funny because his diaper was so high up on his back. There was a little girl at the party who was about six or seven years old. She had mentioned that she had a younger brother who was as old as Benjamin. It was hilarious because she kept on picking him up from behind and carrying him around. Ben would be so surprised he was being picked up that he would just be frozen while she was carrying him around, so it looked like she was carrying a mannequin. He had a lot of fun with the other kids, trying to follow them around and take part in their little games. He was like the little brother who wanted to play so badly with the big kids!

So now I'm back at home, trying to catch up with everything before I head out to Atlanta tomorrow.

I'm so tired!

I'm a hugger, as I've said before.

I love to hug people, and I make sure when I'm hugging, I squeeze tight. Of course, there are times when I can get the vibe from a person that they're not a hugger, so I hang back when I feel the need to, but in most cases, I'm a bear hugger.

I think the best kinds of hugs are the ones when you give someone a hug, and they grunt at the fierceness of your hug. Or they just grunt because the hug feels so good.

That's when I know I've done my job. I've hugged you, and you've "hoormphed" in return.

Those are the good hugs.

So to all you grunters, thanks for making me a better hugger.

Guess who drove me home on Tuesday night?

My sister Fatima!

Now for those of you who don't know her, that statement brings no surprise. But for those of you who do know my sister, as well as the history of the females in my family, then you'd be surprised, and probably pretty impressed.

The thing is, my sister doesn't have a driver's license, and she's in her mid 20's. Of course, it's not a bad thing, it's just a personal choice that she has. She has just never needed to drive.

We've got something close to a family curse, where no females in our family have gotten their driver's license when they were in highschool. I'm not sure why - I got mine when I was 19, my sister Claudine was in her 20's, my cousin Marilyn still needs to get one, my cousin Marian was in her 20's as well.

Although I took the required driving class when I was in highschool, we weren't required to actually get our licenses. I was planning on getting it, but after a red light misshap (who would have thought that two interections with red lights would be so close together?) I didn't feel like going in to take an extra lesson, so I never went for my license. However, when I was in college, I dated this guy who lived about 15 minutes away from my house by car. Since I didn't drive, he would pick me up when we'd go out. He'd also pick me out when we were just hanging out at his place. After a while, he got pretty tired of having to make that trip back and forth, so he told me that if I didn't get my license, I would have to take the bus. Being stubborn, I took the bus. So the 15 minute trip to his place ended up being an hour and half by bus. I did that a couple times, but then realized I had to suck it up and get my license.

So each of us has had our own reasons for putting off the whole license thing. I'm happy that Fatima's making the effort to get her license now. I had gone over to her place to pick her and Marilyn up to have a sleepover at my place. Since my car is getting on in years (when Claudine was first learning how to drive, I stated that she could never drive my car, or something like that) I'm not as protective of my car as I was before. So I asked her if she wanted to drive, and although she was a little surprised that I offered, she agreed.

We drove back to my house, which involved some city driving, a LOT of crazy merges, one toll and 3 different highways. She did great, although there were one or two times when I needed to squeese the door handle just a little tighter. However, at no time did I press the imaginary passenger side brake, which is what my dad used to do when I was learning how to drive (and still does to this day).

So the last one that needs to get their license is Marilyn and then there are no more females left in our family, so the curse should be over...that is, until I have a baby girl!

When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go downtown
When you've got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know, downtown


Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?


The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure
Downtown, everything's waiting for you

Last Saturday we went to a party at a condo downtown. One of Dave's attendings had a pretty sweet place, a couple blocks away from Michigan Avenue. We had a good time, and we brought Benjamin, who was a hit with everyone.

I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but I no longer work downtown. When I'm not traveling, I'm working at home. It was just too expensive to maintain our downtown office for the 3 or 4 people who went in on a daily basis.

Even though it's great working at home, because a lot of the time Ben's just downstairs, ready for me to play or dance with, I really miss working downtown. When we were driving home Saturday, I took the long way to the highway, a route that led us through my old downtown 'hood. We had the windows open and were blaring my old school hits ("It Takes Two", "Bust a Groove") and the city was so alive. I realized how much I missed the hustle and bustle of the city, the noises, the lights, the buildings...the city is so alive! Especially on a Saturday night, with the restaurants filled and people walking around everywhere.

I need to come back downtown sometime soon to just hang out and maybe walk around. I never really got a chance to take pictures like I wanted to before they closed down our office. The end came too soon.

So, to end this post, I'll give you a shot of the amazing view I used to have from my desk window. Right now, my view is just the busy street in front of our house, but I think I'm going to print out some of my old pictures from the office so I can pretend I'm back at my old building...

Both Dave and I have been crazy busy these last several months. I've been busy with work and Dave's been busy studying for his boards. It's been a great help to have the grandparents help out with taking care of Ben, but daily maintenance of our home has been lacking. Laundry is undone, there are crumbs and crackers on the floor, the fish tank hasn't been cleaned in recent memory.

One of the things that has been undone for a while is the light above our kitchen sink. It's been out for several weeks now. Although we have a regular kitchen light, it's still kind of dim around the sink, so I'm washing dishes in the dark.

I was hoping that Dave would change it, because it's a weird light fixture and he did it before. But he's been so busy that he hasn't had a chance. So I decided to do it myself.

It's hard to get to the light fixture, because it's above the sink. I put a chair right next to the sink and had to put my foot on the sink to balance myself to reach the light. The light is actually in the ceiling with a frosted glass cover over it. I tried to twist the glass cover off, but it wouldn't budge. After several minutes trying, I finally sucked it up and asked Dave how he did it. He told me that I needed to get a screwdriver to wedge the cover off the light. I grabbed a screwdriver and was able to wedge the cover loose. After some pressure and twisting, I was getting the cover off, little by little. Pieces of dust, dirt and ceiling fell on me and into the sink below. The light had this little contraption that made sure that the cover didn't fall off, so it was difficult to take off. But with some prodding I was getting it loose, as more bits and pieces of dirt fell down.

Then I realized it wasn't dirt. I looked down, into the sink to confirm my thoughts.

I screamed in horror when I realized what it was.

Carcasses.

Bug carcasses.

I guess that the bugs had gotten curious about the light, crawled up into the light fixture and died. There was a little mass grave up there, as could be seen by all the bodies in my sink.

Dave came down to ask me what was happening, and I cried, "Bugs! There's bugs up here!"

"Are they alive?"

"No, it's just bodies, dead bodies, but I thought it was dirt. They were falling ON ME and I didn't even know!"

He shook his head and walked back upstairs.

I knew I was close to changing the bulb, just an inch or two before I could stick my hand in to remove the bulb. I resisted the need to put on a full body hazmat suit. However, I couldn't stop myself from looking down at the various bug bodies in the sink. I reached in and unscrewed the bulb, took it out, and then tried putting in the new bulb. Because of the angle that my hand was in there (I hadn't completely removed the cover) it was hard for me to screw in the new bulb. My head was filled with visions of the relatives of those dead bugs swarming up onto my hands to get revenge for disturbing the little bug graveyard. Finally, I got the lightbulb screwed in.

I sighed and felt proud of my achivement.

But next time, I'm going to make Dave change it. Either that, or get my dad to do it!

Today, I turn 32.

Isn't that crazy?

I remember in years past, I'd always make a big deal of my birthday, hinting to people months before the day actually came. I would keep an internal countdown calendar to the big day. I would make sure that something big was planned, some party at a club, a dinner out with friends, or a shindig at my place.

This year, not so much. My birthday has pretty much crept up on me. I really haven't had the time to think about my birthday. With work and Ben in my life, I don't have much time to think of anything else. I'm living day to day now, with no time to think about things like birthdays. Even now, I really don't want to make a big deal of it. Today I'm just going to hang out with Dave and Ben, go to Ben's cousin's birthday party (a carnival at the park!), and just chill out at home. I never thought I'd say this, but this birthday is just another birthday. I've got so much more to think about!

This is the first year that I've actually felt like an adult. I guess with the responsibility of taking care of another human being, you tend to feel older and more mature. I'm at a completedly different place in my life than I was last year, professionally and personally. But I can honestly say that I'm happy with my life. I have a steady job, but more importantly, a husband who loves me and puts up with all my crap, and an adorable baby boy who I can't live without.

Of course, I can't help but reflect on my life as a turn another year older. To date, I've led a good one. I love to reminisce about "the good ol' days", referring to crazy days in college or in highschool. After watching the Lost episode where Charlie goes over the most important moments in his life, I started wondering what my top 5 (or top 10, because how could I just narrow it to 5?) list would be. My horrible memory doesn't really help the matter, so the list really focuses on the last decade or so, but here's a couple that I've come up with so far:

1) Ben's Birth, of course...the most memorable, emotional, crazy, surreal moment I have in my life
2) The day I got married - I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. The sun was shining, we were surrounded by friends and family, we had a kick ass time in the limo, and although everything didn't run perfectly, it felt like it did.
3) The first time I saw Dave - I thought to myself, "What a hottie!" yet, since my friend had a crush on him, only saw him as a hot peice of meat, not as someone I would eventually have a relationship with. Was I wrong!"
4) Sister trip to Florida - Our one and only sister vacation in Orlando. The most memorable moment? Driving on highway 4 in a red Mustang convertible next to some military trucks. We were like Thelma and Louise and some other chick.
5) The last time my mother laughed at me - I was living in California, but had come home to visit my mother in the hospital. I had lost a lot of weight because my client had a sushi restaurant, and I was doing a butt dance for my mom to show her how much smaller it was. She was laughing and shaking her head in that "I can't believe that I gave birth to this fool".
6) Waking up in our new house - it's incredible to wake up and walk around your very own house. You feel so proud of your place and that this place belongs to you.
7) Senior year of college - although my whole college experience would be part of this list, if I had to pick out a year, it would be my senior year. It was full of ups and downs, but it was an awesome time.
8) My Orlando trip with my girls - the first time we were all in Orlando together...pretty interesting times!

....those are all the BIG moments that I can think of right now, but there were a lot of moments that I've had that I consider memorable, but didn't make the list, like...

- When I was on a flight to LA with one of my favorite comic book artists, and although he was in the front of the plane and I was in the back, he actually waited for me to get off the plane so we could talk about stuff. For that, I'll love him forever no matter what happens!

- The wild and wacky trip that is known as "Christine Goes to Salt Lake City" - drama, alcohol, laughter and men in skinsuits and interviews in the hallway...who could ask for more?

- Watching Claudine get married

- Playing air hockey and watching donuts being made at Krispy Kreme with my favorite Olympian

- The first time I performed on stage, acting out a script that I wrote

- Family parties, playing the most inappropriate game ever - "Thrill Kill", all night and screaming like banshees while doing it

- Telling Dave I was pregnant

- The first time Benjamin walked

- Getting a perfect score in a solo contest in 4th grade, I had to play my clarinet in front of a huge audience and I nailed it.

- Dancing with Wesley Snipes at a club

There's a ton others, stuck in my memory somewhere, but these are the ones that come up in my mind when I think of when I look back at my life. These memories, and so much more, make me content with my life. If I were to die tomorrow, I would be OK with it, I wouldn't wail about there being so much more that I have to do. I am happy with the life I've led, the good and the bad. I know that whatever life has in store for me, nothing can change what's happened in the first 32 years.

So, yeah. I'm old!

Last week, I went bowling when I was in Canada. We went to this hole in the wall bowling alley, but we had a lot of fun. The bowling shoes, however, were pretty crappy. I think they were about 20 years old. The first time I went to throw the ball, my ankle felt weird, it kinda popped a little.

Ever since then, I've had intermittent pains in my ankle. It hasn't been swollen and the pain isn't constant, it's just every now and then, I'll feel a sharp pain and the feeling that something just isn't right with my ankle.

The instances have been happening more and more often since last week, so I decided to get it checked out. I went to the hospital to get an x-ray on my ankle, and it was just the weirdest experience. I'm lying on this table in this big room, with the x-ray machine above me. The technician then takes my ankle, puts it in this weird-ass position, and says, "can you rotate it to the left a little bit? Now move your toes up...ok, that's it. Let's hold it there..." I felt like I was taking school pictures! He took several shots, two different angles of my ankle, and then I had to lie on my side for the last one. Each time I felt like my body was contorted along with whatever crazy angle my foot was in. If I was actually in a lot of pain, taking the x-rays would have been pretty painful.

I find out the results today, though I'm going to be in Milwaukee so I won't really be able to do anything about it until tomorrow...wish me luck (and don't say "break a leg!")

Wednesday morning, I got up bright and early in my crappy hotel to try and catch the first flight out of Toronto. After being chased around by a massive roach/beetle, I packed my stuff back up and headed to the airport.

At the check-in, I was told that there was an earlier flight (though not the early one I wanted, which was full), which the guy on the phone I talked to the day before didn't tell me about. I took it, since it got me into Chicago earlier, actually coinciding with the time that my other coworker would be getting into O'Hare. I knew that I had to go straight to Milwaukee once getting to the airport, but I was hoping to see Ben before heading out there. However, by taking the earlier flight I could just ride along with my coworkers to Milwaukee and get there earlier. I was supposed to be in Milwaukee at 7am, but with the whole weather debacle and my flight being cancelled, the earliest I would get to Milwaukee was 11:30am.

Then I had to go through U.S. customs again, answering the same questions about my reasons for coming to Canada. This time the border agent gave me a hard time about my passport - it still has my maiden name. I explained that my driver's license has both names, and he then told me that anyone could get a driver's license, that it really wasn't an official document. Flashes of being thrown into an underground dungeon once again flashed before my eyes. Fortunately, he stopped being a tool and let me through.

I know I say this all the time, but I love flying into Chicago. My heart just dances on the plane, seeing my hometown from above, knowing that I'm home. It was especially nice this time around since we were flying from the north. Usually I'm coming from the east or the west, where I'd see all the little homes of the city. Coming in from the north I got to see the nice big homes and the lakes and golf courses of the affluent northern suburbs. The flight in was a little bittersweet, though, because I knew that even though I was flying into my hometown, I wouldn't actually be going home.

We landed and I hooked up with my coworker and we got my bag (which had actually come on the early flight which I was stand-by on and had to be freed from a cage.) Our project manager then picked us up and we headed out to Milwaukee.

It's always a difficult situation when you're coming onto a client site late. Luckily, we've been working with this client for a while and they were understanding.

This was the first time that our whole team was together onsite. Later that night several of us just hung out in the hotel talking about the project. It was nice to hang out together and talk face to face, rather than on IM or e-mail.

I finally got home yesterday...and I missed my little baby boy so much. I hugged him and squeezed him until he couldn't take it anymore. I had thought that now that he's older, now that he's walking and everything, that trips away would get easier, but in some ways, it's worse. I miss his personality and crazy little antics. Fortunately, I'll be home most of next week, so I'll get to hang out with him every day.

It's good to be home!

I was supposed to go home tonight, but due to a mass of thunderstorms that shut down the Toronto airport (and caused a lot of delays at O'Hare as well) I am still here in Canada. I had to go through US customs to board the plane, which was an earlier flight that the one I was scheduled for. But after about 3 hours on the plane, we realized we weren't going to go anywhere.

I'm pretty bummed. Tomorrow (today) I have to be at my Milwaukee client to do a 7am demo, and the a full 2 day workshop. Also, I was going to spend my night hanging out with Benjamin, who I miss terribly right now. Alas, that wasn't the plan for me - i was left to simmer in a too hot airplane with a bunch of grouchy passengers, and having to go back through Canadian customs once they finally cancelled the flight I was on because the pilot was over his work hours.

I then waited 45 minutes for my luggage, which was pretty wet when i got it. I waddled over to the airport Sheraton, praying that they had rooms open but seeing all the people around me who had the some thing in mind, knew that it wasn't going to happen. I then called the hotel I stayed at yesterday, but they had no rooms. I got in touch with 5 other hotels, all packed with people. Finally I got a hold of an inn near the airport that had 2 rooms left - one non-smoking room. I waited another half hour for the shuttle to pick me up.

My inn/hotel is a little shady, though the guy at the front desk was a really nice guy. The floors here are stained, there's a musty, almost-urine smell in the hallways and the bedcovers look like something out of the 1970's. But hey, it's a place to put my head down and I'm thankful that I even found a place, sparing me from sleeping at the airport. Also, there's wireless internet, which is always a great thing for a hotel to have!

So tomorrow, I'm probably going to go directly to Milwaukee without stopping at home first. I'll already be late for my workshop, so I don't have time to stop at my place. I won't be home until Thursday night. *sigh* Things like this are always stressing to me.

I miss my baby!

...driving home on a cool spring night, with my windows open blasting "Shake Your Groove Thing", listening to my son babble in the back seat, with green lights all the way home.

It's little moments like that which make all the stress and uncertainty of the rest of my life just melt away...

My Seattle trip last week was pretty exhausting. As much as I loved learning new things about the company and seeing coworkers I haven't seen in a while, by the end of the week I was totally missing my little boogerman.

I took the redeye back home, and as soon as I buckled my seatbelt I was out like a light, not to wake up until 4 1/2 hours later when we landed in Chicago. I got in at around 6am, and since Dave was working, his father picked me up and took him to their place, where Ben was sleeping. Ben looked like he'd grown a foot since I left him! I plopped down on the bed next to him and passed out, without even changing out of my clothes. I was in and out of sleep for the rest of the morning, and Ben woke up and looked at me like, "Where the hell have you been, Mommy?" and jumped on me and played with my face. I played a bit with him, but then fell back asleep. I woke up again at noon, and heard Ben downstairs playing. I got up and then realized that I hadn't switched my watch, and that it was actually was 2 in the afternoon. I'm a slacker! That week really took a lot out of me!

So for the rest of the day, I just vegged out and watched Ben. I just marveled at how much he's grown and that he's a little boy now. I couldn't help but pick him up occasionally and hug him and cover him with little kisses. It's hard to be away from him for so long!

So here's a pic of him from a couple weeks ago, the first time he's walked on his own in our backyard. He wasn't too fond of the squooshy, uneven feeling of the grass!

The craziest thing happened today (well, yesterday) to me. I got an award!

We had an awards dinner for our big meeting, and awards were being given out to people for various things. The people who I knew that got awards definitely deserved them. One woman always takes the time to answer people's questions when they send out a mass email to everyone. One guy has been the expert on one of our products and has done a lot of work, helping people out. It was great to see my coworkers get recognized for all the hard work that they've done.

For every award, the presenter gave a little speech, talking about the work that has been done and sometimes offering a little tidbit here and there - she's a poet, this guy travels all the time. Then a presenter came up, talking about the next award winner's childhood heroes...and they mentioned Ralph Macchio, and how she watched it a hundred times. I laughed, because I loved Ralph as a kid, too. Then they mentioned Scott Baio. Then Michael J. Fox. I started seeing a trend - the list had sounded familiar to me. Wonder Woman was then mentioned. The clincher was when the mentiond the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. That's when I knew it was me.

That wasn't possible, though. All the people who got awards before me DID stuff. They worked their asses off and they knew their stuff. True, I work a lot, but I really don't feel like it's worthy of getting award. There were so many people I work with who are more deserving than I for an award...it couldn't be me.

They went on to talk about how the awardee had trained a lot of clients, done work in Crystal Reports, worked on other projects. Then they called out my name. It was all a bit surreal. I only slightly remember going up there, hearing some cheers from the crowd from my old Company X and X-Systems peeps. I shook hands with people up in front, mumbled thanks, and really concentrated on getting back to my seat without swaying. Then again - the whole swaying thing had nothing to do with the award, it was more because I had a couple drinks and was a little tipsy.

Anyway, I'm still in complete awe that I got this thing. Me? Why me? I feel in some ways like I don't deserve it. I know so many people on my team who work just as hard as I do, if not harder. I wish we all got awards. I wish they all got the recognition that they deserve. As much as I am humbled and honored by getting the award (this pretty glass block with a globe inside and my name engraved on it) I am always uneasy when picked out of the pack like this. As much as I like getting the spotlight in some circumstances, I'm always uneasy when awarded or complimented in front of the team. I'm not really sure why. Nonetheless, I'm not giving back my cool little block!

So I got back to my seat in a daze. I then started to wonder, where the hell did they come up with tha list? Did I fill out some form during a workshop or ice breaker where we had to list our childhood heroes? Because I always mentioned Wonder Woman and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Then I realized where I remember that list from. It was from a post I made a couple weeks ago. I went into a bit of panic mode, because it always freaks me out a little bit when I think about someone from work might stumble upon my page. Luckily, I don't really speak ill of clients or say the name of my company, so I think I'm safe. Sure, I complain about work at times, but doesn't everyone?

I talked to my manager later that night, and he had mentioned that he was wondering if there was anyone famous that might share my name, so he googled me (ohh, that sounds so naughty). Of course, this site pops up, and he found my little Hero list which they used for the awards. A little freaky, but not too bad.

I'm having a good time here. As I said before, it's great to hang out with co-workers. I really love most of the people I work with...they're a good bunch!

So I'll stop babbling, and get some sleep.

I'll leave you with a picture of my soap. Why? Because it's cool....and it smells good.

You're probably living under a rock if you haven't heard about the shootings at Virginia Tech earlier this week. Every station you're on mentions it. The other day, the face of the shooter talked to me from my television all day, even when I drove in my car they played his audio.

It's all a little bit crazy. I admit to being glued to my television the day it happened, and the day after when they had identified who the killer was. I've thought a lot about the debates on what happened, how it could have been prevented, who did what wrong. I've got my opinions on things, like how the campus police did as much as they could, that parents shouldn't freak out about sending their kids away to school because this could happen anywhere, and that people are crazy if they think that this could have been prevented if students were allowed to bring guns on campus.

However, I'm tired of it. I want VT to go on and take time to heal amongst themselves. I was watching the Today Show the day after, and they had a VT student that was also a student at Columbine the day the shootings happened. She was shy and quiet and when Meredith Viera asked her about the media involvement, she said that having the media around made it very hard to come as a community to heal. Every time they would gather or have some sort of memorial, there would be cameras there.

I understand the media's need to bring news to the general public, but I feel at times it becomes an exploitation of people's pain for ratings.

Today I was watching the news and the anchor said that Cho Seung-Hui's parents feared for their lives. The video feed then showed a house, and the ancor went on, "This is where his parents live, in in Virginia." Come on now, his parents are already getting death threats, why are you going to show their house and tell everyone what suburb they live in?

Ack, times like this I'm glad for the brainless entertaininment that is American Idol.

I have to admit that I've been watching American Idol this season, more because I have some virtual bets placed on the contestants than for entertainment. Well, Benjamin likes to dance to the music, too.

Anyway, Sanjaya, the biggest name to come out of AI in a long time, got voted off yesterday. I was pretty surprised, because I was figuring him for a top 4, not because of his talent, but because of the people voting him in. At first I think it was the work of votefortheworse.com that was keeping him on, but as time wore on, I think that more people started voting for him because they thought it was funny to have him stay in the competition.

Admittedly, the kid's talented. He's a good singer, but not at the levels that the current contestants are at.

And now...he's gone. I admit, I feel for the li'l guy. He wasn't a villain, he wasn't horrible, and he seems like he was a sweet, hardworking guy. Poor thing hugged Lakisha for hours after it was announced that he was leaving, and cried as they showed his "We're booting you cuz you suck" montage onscreen.

Bye bye, my little Sanjaya Papaya.

Now the REAL competition starts!

My poor poor blog, left alone and near-empty as a result of my super hectic life.

I remember the days when I would post in this thing pretty much every day, sometimes even two, three times a day. But life was simpler back then, my work life was way different than it is now.

Lately I have been in non-stop motion - handling things for work, traveling up to Milwaukee, getting things prepared for Ben's birthday party, trying to make sure that things are still working at home with me MIA on my work projects.

So here's the things on my plate right now:

1) Getting some documentation out to my clients
2) Planning and preparing for Ben's birthday party. Luckily, my dad and father in law were awesome enough to come over to the house and clean
3) Pay bills
4) Reinstall my computer (I had to wipe it out after that whole virus crap a couple weeks ago)
5) Lose weight (which I have - lost 7lbs since starting this project, more because I've been forgetting to eat)
6) and last, but certainly not least, spend some quality time with Ben

My days usually start at around 8 in the morning, unless I'm going to Milwaukee, then it's out the door at 6. Once I get home, then I make sure to spend time with Ben, who I hang out with until around 9:30. Once he sleeps, then it's back to work. Most of the time, I get around three or four hours of sleep. I'm running on fumes right now!

Even though I'm nearing the point of exhaustion, I'm happy I'm working with this client. They're a good group of people, and I'm getting a lot of much needed experience.

But I'm tired.

So tired!

Driving back and forth to Milwaukee can get pretty boring. Usually in the morning I listen to a local radio show, but once I get over that Wisconsin border, I've got to start channel hopping. As much as I complain about the drive, I do enjoy it in a way. It gives me time to myself, time when I can't be working or I don't have to worry about if I'm spending enough time with Ben or worry about watching over him. It gives me a chance to think about my life, where I'm at, to digest everything that's currently happening to me. There are a lot of thoughts that go through my mind, especially when there's traffic or those close calls when people do stupid things on the road that keep me on my toes. There are also some other times when I'm just so tired driving that I'm slapping myself in the face to keep awake. Times like that I think about one of my favorite driving CD's, the Barenaked Ladies' Maroon. My favorite track on the CD is called "Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel". It's a pretty morbid song, especially when you're driving, but I like the notion behind it.

Tonight is The Night I Fell Asleep at The Wheel

Driving home to be with you
The highways dividing, the citys in view
As usual, Im almost on time
Youre the last thing thats on my mind
I wish I could tell you the way that I feel
But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

No commotion, no screaming brakes
Most of its over before I awake
From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips
While out my window, the horizon does flips
The worst part was hitting the ground -
Not the feeling so much as the sound
Cant help but wonder if all this is real
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

Rubberneck traffic and passersby
And slow motion walter the fire engine guy
Stand around with their mouths open wide
I heard some idiot ask if someones inside
With the jaws of life they tried and they tried
Nobody here can know how I feel
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

I guess its over now
Cause Ive never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
I guess its over now
Cause Ive never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
So much blood

In all the confusion, theres something serene
Im just a posthumous part of the scene
Now Im floating above looking in
As the radio blares and wheels spin
I can see my face slump with a grin
And you...youre the last thing on my mind
Youre the last thing on my mind
Youre the last thing on my mind
Youre the last thing on my mind

I love the song because the first time I heard it, I laughed when he first says, "As usual I'm almost on time, you're the last thing that's on my mind..." I had thought that the singer had so many other thoughts in his head that his love was the last thing on his mind. But the lyrics were literal - his love was the very last thing on his mind before he died. Morbid, but beautiful at the same time...

OK, it's time for me to get some sleep...I've gotta drive to Milwaukee tomorrow!

Just when I was going to complain about work more, I get a call from my manager about my yearly review that just got approved.

Turns out I'm getting a raise.

Enough of a raise that I gasped, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!" to my manager after he gave me what I'd be making.

I guess I was a good little girl this year and got some good marks on my review based on all the coworkers I've bribed to put in a good word for me should my manager ever ask for their input. That, and I suspect that I was making much lower than the people who are currently doing what I'm doing at X-Inc, so not only did I get a raise, but I got an adjustment on my salary. Which means that its a significan payraise for me.

So for now, I am happy. Tired, overworked, and stressed....but happy nonetheless.

What makes this all better? Tomorrow is a new episode of Lost...which has been pretty kickass over the last several weeks!

Even better than that?

Tomorrow I go home and get to hug Benjers! Yay!

Still working like a madwoman...but here's a couple quickies to keep you busy while I'm working for "The Man".

Speed Racer
I had asked my client in Milwaukee if the cops in Wisconsin were tougher on Illinois people than Wisconsinites. I had heard a rumor that the cops up north target IL license plates. She told me that it wasn't true, but that people from Chicago tended to speed more than people in Wisconsin. I checked it out and it was true - more cars with Illinois plates were speedier than Wisconsin cars. I guess that's because we've got that "10 over the speed limit is ok" rule.

So I try to keep my speed in check, but sometimes I fall into my old ways.

Today, as I was driving to Milwaukee, I saw the cars in front of me brake, and I realized, too late, why. There was a state trooper in the median, ready to pick his prey. I did a speed check, and before I softly applied my brakes I was doing about 12 over the speed limit. As I passed to cop I looked in my rearview to see the car pulling out from the median. I started chanting to myself, "please, not me, please, not me", but since I was the last car in my little batch, I knew that I wasn't going to be lucky. The cop came up behind me, and I waited for him to start flashing his lights. Nothing. Then he pulled up next to me, and I maintained an even 65mph the whole time. I looked at the cop car to see if he was motioning for me to pull over, but nothing. He stayed right next to me for about two miles, then exited the highway.

It was a little bizarre, but at least I didn't get pulled over!

Heatwave
At my client site today, they didn't have the air on. The conference room we were in was sweltering, we were all complaining about the heat (it was 78 in Milwaukee today). I was talking to one of the women I was working with and told her I was tempted to take off my sweater and just wear my sleeveless shirt underneath. She said it wouldn't be a big deal and that I should since it was so hot in the room and my sweater was pretty thick. So I did, and although I felt a little self conscious with my sleeveless top, I didn't feel as warm. We ended up leaving early anyway since no one could concentrate with all the heat.

Out Sick
Looks like my home desktop has gotten a virus. I'm not sure how it got it (though I know it wasn't me since I don't surf the internet on that machine) but every time I go to the computer, it seems to have gotten worse and worse. I've run through several programs to fix the problem, but I may have to suck it up and bring it in to get repaired. For some reason, this really pisses me off. It makes me angry that there are people out there trying to create these things to screw people over, and it makes me angry to know that someone actually get this virus on my machine. Fortunately, I was able to make a backup of Ben's good baby pictures before the situation got too bad!

Yesterday, I had wanted to bring Ben to the Zoo, since I knew that it would be in the 50's. I wanted to have some quality time with my little guy, since I've been away from home so much. It was cloudy yesterday, and the weather said that it was likely that there'd be thunderstorms. We ended up going to Dave's parent's house because they had guests from out of town over.

Today I woke up and saw the weather report, and they had mentioned that it was going to be a beautiful morning and afternoon, in the lower 70's and we had a chance to break the record temperature for the day. I wasn't planning on going to the zoo today, since I'm a bit behind on some work and I didn't really do anything yesterday. But the weather was too good to pass up. So we decided to head out to the zoo today to enjoy the beautiful weather. It's still early in the season, so I knew that there wouldn't be a lot of people there.

I guess I'm not the only one who thought it would be a perfect day to go to the zoo. When we got there, there was a line of cars trying to get into the parking lot, and there were people everywhere! Luckily, I've got a membership, so we didn't have to pay for parking.

The day was gorgeous. There was a cool breeze blowing and the sun was nice and warm. This was Ben's second time at the zoo (though I was there several times when I was preggo) and he had a much better time this time around. When he spotted the animals moving around, he liked to shout at them and point. He really enjoyed the meerkats in their little den. I think he loved the polar bear the most, since he was pretty active today, pacing around his grotto. Ben shouted and growled at him and tried to climb over the fence to get to him. It was pretty cute.

After about 3 hours, though, he had his fill of the zoo and started getting antsy, so we headed home. There was still a long line to get into the zoo as we were heading out, so we were happy we came early.

I'm thinking of getting Ben a little book going over different animals, so we can prepare a little better for the next time!

So tired. I'm in Milwaukee right now, driving home every other day this week. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, and I've got this weird throat cold going on. I've been pretty crabby over the last week or so and find myself getting angry over little things, which is very out of character since I rarely get angry.

There are some internal things going on at work which I try not to affect my client work or stress me out too much, but I've found myself drifting off into thought several times.

It helps that I have an awesome manager to talk to (that makes two awesome managers in a row!).

It also helps that I've got someone on my team who I trust and can confide in, who understands what I'm going through.

Of course, what helps the most is knowing that tomorrow I'll be going home to the best baby EVER (oh, and that Husband guy, too).

Last week, I was trudging through the snow in Milwaukee. Today, I was standing in a t-shirt and jeans on my driveway walking Ben around. Can you believe it was 74 degrees in Chicago yesterday? Times like this I really miss working downtown. On a day like yesterday, everyone is out, basking in the warmth, and it feels like summertime. We emerge from our work-caves, like little bears after a long winter hibernation, wiping the sleep from our eyes and welcoming spring by strolling down Michigan avenue and stretching that lunch break by another 15 minutes.

Luckily, I'll be in the city tomorrow, for the first time in a while, eating at my favorite restaurant. I really need the break (even though it's work related). It's been a pretty stressing last couple weeks and it will be nice to sit and relax, even if it's with coworkers I've never met before!

We came home yesterday night after a long day at the Eagle airport. We were supposed to come home today, but there was some pretty bad weather going through Colorado and we wanted to get out before it got too bad. Since we were on standby tickets, if flights got cancelled then it would be hard for us to get on a plane since passengers would be moved onto later planes.

It was a zoo at Eagle, with people all over the place waiting for their planes, which were in holding patterns above the airport until they got the OK to land. We were on standby for the noon flight, but didn't end up leaving until four. Luckily, we got on first class.

By the time we got home, Ben was already sleeping. I wanted to wake him up and hug him and squeeze him til he popped. While we were gone he picked up a nasty little cold, so he woke up several times during the night hacking and coughing. This morning he woke up and he was so excited to see us. We spent the morning playing with him in bed, jumping around, laughing and tickling his skinny little belly. I had missed him so much while I was gone! I was away most of last week and for the first part of this week, and I'll be gone again next week. I'm going to get in as much quality time as I can!

So as much fun as I had during the vacation, I still missed my little booger!

Since I had a car when I was in Milwaukee, I felt it my duty to offer to drive my other coworkers around (it's nice to have other people to hang out with when you're out of town!). Our client site was several miles away, but not a difficult drive, unless you're counting the crazy drivers and pedestrians in downtown Milwaukee.

I love driving, it's a great way for me to relax and chill out. But I'm horrible when it comes to driving people around. I'm super cautious, but at times nervous and once in a while I make a bad decision (though nothing resulting in an accident *knockonwood*). So many jokes were made about my bad driving, all in fun, of course, but near the end of the week I could tell that my coworker was getting a tad bit nervous as well.

There's just something about having someone else in the car, someone who's life is in my hands, who is watching, judging, observing, whatever...it's like when you're logging into email or a network and someone is watching over your shoulder. Because of that extra set of eyes, you make a mistake on the password, a password you've typed a million times before with no problem.

Adding onto that was not being familiar with my surroundings, as well as all the construction that was happening in Milwaukee. That, and I like to talk. Sometimes it's not easy to talk and drive at the same time, though I really have no problem doing it when it's on the phone.

Weird thing is, I have no problem driving when Ben's in the car, or when it's Dave or my sisters. Maybe with them I'm comfortable enough or they're used to my driving style. They never have any issues with my driving! Well, except for getting lost all the time, which I always end up doing. But we always end up finding our way home, that's what matters, right?

So I AM a good driver, really!

Lately I've been so busy with life and work that I haven't even realized that it's been forever since I've logged onto AIM, YIM or MSN. We're supposed to log onto MSN for work, but I always forget.

So yesterday, since I was bored (not really bored since I had tons to do) in my hotel room in Milwaukee, I decided to log on to see who was on.

I caught a couple old friends (and old friends caught me), as well as my new coworker who's working on this project. It was fun to navigate through different chat windows, having different conversations all over my computer screen, catching up with the lives of people I haven't heard from in forever. I really miss those long chat sessions, talking about stupid things, talking about how life can be so crazy or gossiping about others.

I realized yesterday that I rarely use "LOL" to describe when I'm laughing. Someone used it when I was chatting with them, and I made fun of them. Yeah, LOL means you're laughing out loud, I get it, but I think my "haha" is a much better representative of how much I appreciate your humor. Really, I only use a couple short terms, like OMG, BRB and WTF. Usually, though, i like typing everything out.

So I'll probably be online again tonight...I was going to drive back to Chicago tonight and come back to Milwaukee tomorrow, but I didn't get much sleep and I had a REALLY long day, so I'm just going to stay here in Milwaukee and pray that I finish up early tomorrow so I can drive home and hug Benjamin!

Lately I've been having a lot of disturbing dreams. I wouldn't call them nightmares, but they're pretty close to being that. It could be that I'm stressed out, too busy, or having realy had a lot of time to think about life - so my subconscious is going haywire trying to sort it out while I'm asleep.

Over the last couple weeks I've had some dreams that have left me feeling weird and creepy for the rest of the day, like:

- I'm sleeping in my room, I hear a noise...someone's in my room. I'm afraid to open my eyes, I hear them shuffling around. I pick up the courage to open my eyes and it's Dave. He says he came home from work early. However, something still doesn't feel right. He lays down to go to bed. I close my eyes. I open them again. He's gone. It's just a dream.

- I dreamt that my cousin killed several of my other cousins, but was trying to hide it. It was a brutal murder and I confronted my cousin who denied it at first, but when I presented evidence my cousin reveals that it was an action that couldn't be prevented.

- I had a dream that for some reason, Macaulay Culkin wants to kill me. I spend most of my dream on the run and trying to hide from him, but he always manages to find me.

That's only a sampling of the ones that I remember. A lot of the time I wake up knowing I had a bad dream, but not remembering. However, I spend the rest of the day feeling uneasy.

Hopefully, going on vacation next week will give me some time to decompress and start having fun dreams again.

Who can guess where the title of the post comes from?

I've been so busy with work this week, I haven't really had time to write. I've also been really tired, but that's also because Ben's sleeping schedule has been pretty crazy lately.

Anyway, today I was on the bus going to work (I'm working in the city today) and I was napping because I only had 2 hours of sleep last night since I was working on a project. All of the sudden I hear a loud couple thumps outside the bus and a yell. Everyone on the bus gasped. It occurred right outside my window so I was jolted awake. I thought someone got run over. I looked out the window and there was a man screaming at the bus. I guess the guy was trying to cross the street and the bus cut him off and he wasn't too happy. People always try to beat the bus when walking across the street, even when it's against a light. In some ways, I'm kind of happy I don't work downtown all the time! Pedestrians can be crazy!

I love having parties, but I just really suck at planning them and getting ready for them.

But Ben's first birthday is coming up (he turns 10 months tomorrow!) and I really need to start planning on what we're going to do. I know I want to keep it small this time around, only inviting close family and friends with kids around Ben's age - his baptism was the last time I have to have a big party. It was too stressing for me, and to tell the truth, I just don't have time to do it.

I was originally going to have it at a local park district room, but after thinking about it a little more, it might be easier for everyone that it's at our place. He'll be more familiar with home which will make him more outgoing, if he's sleepy (or any of his friends are sleepy) he can take a nap in his own room, I can be assured there will be a changing table handy, and the Dads will have Dave's 100in screen to watch. He's only a year old anyway, he's not really going to remember it or really be able to do anything interactive like playing at Chuck E Cheese. Well, he'll be able to play there, but his attention span won't last too long.

So I'm looking for ideas...what to eat, what kind of theme, what kind of games to play, what to watch out for...I know some of you are parents and some of you who aren't have gone to kiddie parties before, so I'm open to any suggestions you have.

My #1 New Year's resolution last year was to lose at least 20lbs of the baby weight that I still have left over. I was pretty good for the first week of the year, but having to take care of the baby and working at night when the baby sleeps has left me little time to work out. Add to that the fact that I have no self control when it comes to late night snacks and food that tastes good. Also, whenever I travel it's hard for me to just get a salad when there's a whole menu of foods I've never tried before.

But I still want to work on it. What I plan to do (which probably won't happen, but putting it in here will give it a higher chance of happening) is wake up a little earlier for work when I'm working at home, and go on the elliptical for at least 15 minutes, for my "commute" to work. When I'm done, another 15 minutes for my "commute" home.

I guess another reason this is so hard for me to do (which is a reason why weight loss is a problem for a lot of other people) is that I never had a problem with my weight growing up. I was a thin little thing and never had to worry about what I ate, so I pretty much ate whatever I wanted. In college I was still pretty slim, and walking to and from class, as well as demanding fashion show practices (not as glamorous as it sounds, trust me) and football practices kept me moving. Really, the only time I started gaining weight was about 2-3 years out of college, which was when my metabolism probably started slowing down and my eating habits started to catch up with me. When I got married I was the heaviest I had been at any time before that. That's when I learned that stress makes me eat.

So I've learned bad food habits, and never found that high people get when they work out. I just find it to be boring.

But I've got to get over that if I ever want to fit into my old clothes. I'm tired of having nothing to wear or having to go out and buy clothes for special occasions because I have nothing that looks flattering on me.

We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted!

We took Ben on his first roadtrip last weekend. Dave had a conference to go to in Michigan, so we decided to make a trip of it and visit my sister who currently lives there in wedded bliss with Redpac. It's about a 5 hour drive, but it ended up being a lot longer with that since we took breaks for Benjamin. We had stopped by a rest area on our way there, but to my surprise, there were no changing tables in the bathroom! I ended up having to change Ben in the car, and he was NOT happy about it!

We got to Michigan safe and sound, and we had a great time there. Here's a couple pictures as well as a run through of our weekend:

Biscuits and Gravy, at the Chocolate Gallery Cafe. This is one of the best I've ever had - not too salty, not too lumpy, not too spice. It was awesome!

This was my breakfast on the second day. Banana croissant french toast. Croissants dipped in french toast batter, cooked, covered with bananas and banana sauce. I'm drooling just thinking about it!

The Gumbo Ya Ya at Fishbone's. Not too spicy, with just enough kick to make me take a sip of water after eating.

Fishbones: Cajun food and Sushi. It seems weird to make together, but actually works out really well!

My Rainbow Roll at Fishbone's, with my unagi peeking behind it. DEEEE-LICIOUS!

Ben checks out Claudine's schedule. He had an AWESOME time at Claudine and Dan's because they had so much stuff for him to touch, from coasters to mp3 players to pennies to tape measures. He had his hand on them all. It was like sensory overload!

The big Uniroyal wheel on I-75 (or I-94, I'm not sure). We passed it on our way home. Several hours after this, we ran into an awful snowstorm in Indiana. Of course, it was during my driving shift and I was ultra alert as I was driving because I couldn't see the car right in front of me. It was pretty scary! But we got through it, and Ben pretty much slept through the whole thing.

All in all, a great weekend, except for the snowstorm thing. Claudine and Dan were wonderful hosts, taking us to some yummy places to eat! Thanks guys!

Christmas comes a little late for me, but I took my horde of Best Buy giftcards and bought myself a new lens for "The Camera That I Can't Afford". I've been doing a lot of research and there's a great deal for an awesome lens that pretty much every D50 owner that has it raves about. It's the 50mm f/1.8D AF Nikkor lens, and for a while that meant nothing to me but I now know that it's a pretty fast lens that can take good pictures, even when the lighting isn't that great - which is the problen I have when taking pics in my house, since I have to rely on our indoor lighting which isn't that great.

So I played around with it and it's AWESOME! My only complaint is that sometimes it's slow to autofocus and that when it does the autofocus it's a little loud, but other than that, I've come up with some great pictures! It's really given me some inspiration and drive to go out and take non-Ben pictures again. So here's some samples for you to enjoy (of course, pictures of my favorite subject!)

I got this email this morning from Jim Guest, the president of Consumer Reports, which I had subscribed to so I could check out the best and safest equipment for Benjamin.

Dear Christine E***,

By now, you've probably heard the news about my decision to withdraw the infant car seat report featured on ConsumerReports.org and in the February issue of Consumer Reports magazine. I took this action when we discovered a mistake in our side-impact crash tests.

We always strive to be accurate and fair, and I regret this error. Going forward, I want to make sure that our actions are as thorough and transparent as possible so that we preserve your trust as we continue to test, inform, and protect consumers. To that end, I'm writing you and the millions of other Consumers Union members to tell you what I know about the situation and what we're doing about it.

Here's what I know so far: One of our tests was intended to simulate how infant car seats perform in a side-impact crash at 38 mph. That's the speed at which many new vehicles are tested in side crashes by the government's auto safety agency. But upon reevaluating our data, we believe our tests simulated crashes that were much more severe than that.

Some of the questions I've heard involve our use of an outside lab to conduct the crash tests. While the vast majority of product testing by Consumers Union occurs in our own labs, we sometimes use outside contractors that have special test equipment or other expertise that we don't. This enables us to inform you about the safety, reliability, and performance of important products that we couldn't otherwise test.

That said, we expect all our testing to meet the same high standards, and our own staff oversees all projects. The board of directors and I are appointing a panel of experts to review this incident and determine what went wrong.

We're also retesting the infant car seats featured in our article as thoroughly and quickly as possible, so that we can publish our findings and help parents who are making this important buying decision. I've directed that we suspend the article's Ratings and other recommendations regarding specific car-seat models until this retesting is completed. In any case, I again stress the importance of what we say in the article: Any child car seat is better than no seat at all.

For 71 years, the staff of Consumers Union has worked hard to earn the trust of members like you and to build the stellar reputation we have enjoyed. We test more than 3,000 products each year, and errors like this one are rare. I apologize on behalf of Consumers Union and I promise you we're working hard to ensure that such an error does not happen again.

Sincerely,

Jim Guest

I think it's great the CR sent an email to all of its subscribers, as well as made this issue public (I remember hearing a news story about it as well). The main reason I had joined was for the safety reports, and it's reassuring to know that if they screw up, they'll tell us about it. When I was reading the artical, I was expecting that the tests were not safe enough, but then I saw that the testing simulated crashes that were TOO severe. Of course, that would have given bad ratings to carseats that would have been just fine in your average crashes, but since I already went out and bought one of the carseats that they had rated in the top five, it makes me feel that much better - my seat is a super safe seat!

On a side note, for you parents out there, here's the list of product recalls. I had been wondering the other day if there was a website that has a listing of product recalls and there is.

CPSC Recall Announcements

It's a little scary when you look at the listing of what's been recalled - things that pose choking hazards, laceration hazards, lead poisoning hazards - don't they test these things before they get sold?

Name of Product: Reebok Heart-Shaped Charm Bracelets

Hazard: The recalled jewelry contains high levels of lead, posing a risk of lead poisoning and adverse health effects to young children.

Incidents/Injuries: Reebok has received a report of a death caused by lead poisoning of a 4-year-old child from Minneapolis, Minn. The child reportedly swallowed a piece from one of these bracelets.

Name of Product: Chicken Limbo Electronic Party Game

Hazard: The game’s two side poles do not fit into their bases properly making the game unstable. This can cause the game to completely fall apart if touched, hitting children playing the game as well as bystanders.

Incidents/Injuries: Milton Bradley has received 46 reports of the Chicken Limbo party game collapsing unexpectedly. This includes 23 reports of injuries including bumps, bruises, welts and red marks, four reports of cuts, one chipped tooth and one fractured foot.

Name of product: Crib Mobile Toys

Hazard: If batteries used in the mobile leak, the caustic liquid can seep out of the battery compartment, posing a risk of chemical burns to babies.

Ugh...at this rate, I'm just going to keep Benjamin in a box, with only a large sterilized plastic tupperware container for him to play with!

I'm entering a new phase in my work life, and it's scary and thrilling at the same time. I'm a person who hates changes, who resists it with every fiber of my being, which may be surprising given how often I change this blog layout. I just like the comfort of things that I know, doing my routine, living life where I feel like I have control and there's no uncertainty.

But to get ahead, I need to open myself to new things, new experiences. It's scary and as much as I want to just dip my toe in the pool of the unknown, often with work I'm forced to just jump in, flailing and hoping to stay afloat.

Of course, everything is ok, I'm doing just fine. Things were a little shaky in the beginning, but just like the other times I've been exposed to something new, I've done much better than I expected. I guess I just doubt myself and my abilities, worried that I'll be a failure and that the powers that be at X Inc. will find out and fire my ass, leaving Bennie with an unemployed mother forced to sell crack on the streets just so her baby can eat a piece of bread.

But yeah, this new phase of my career isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I'm actually settling into it quite well. I'm ready for the next curveball you're gonna throw at me, X Inc!

So did anyone watch that Bears game yesterday?

I remember watching the pre-game show and they had a bunch of announcers predicting who would win the game and every one of them said "The Saints", except for Mike Ditka, who ironically had coached both teams. It frustrates me that all year, the Bears have had this awesome record but we're always considered the underdogs, always putting us lower on the ranking lists - below other teams with records not as good as ours.

So we have one more game to show the world that we're for real. Sure, we may be inconsistent, but we get the job done when it matters.

It's hard to believe we've made it to the Superbowl, it's almost surreal! We were watching the game yesterday and it got pretty scary there near the end of the first half and at the beginning of the second. I got pretty annoyed when Reggie Bush got his touchdown and taunted the Bears defense, and then did his little dance in the end zone. I wouldn't have minded the dance, but I did mind the taunting and the flip into the endzone. Oh well, we shut him down after that.

There were so many great moments in the game, from the Drew Brees' safety to Ogunleye's fumble recovery, to Thomas Jones - the one man show for a whole drive.

My head is still spinning. I'm so happy for my team, I'm happy that Rex has his confidence back, I'm happy that Lovie has made history by becoming the first black coach to make it to the SuperBowl. This guy needs a payraise!

Whoo hoo! We're going to Miami, baby!

We got done with our meeting early today so me and my coworker tried to get on an earlier flight. We got on the standby list, but by the time we were out of security, we could see that there was a mini blizzard outside. Sure enough, the flight we were on standby for was delayed an hour - only an hour before our original flight.

I went to the gate and fortunately got on the standby flight. However, we didn't end up leaving until half an hour AFTER my original flight was scheduled to leave. It was torture having to wait, knowing that Ben was at home waiting for me!

Finally I got home and Ben was still awake. He saw me and started babbling and bouncing up and down. He remembered me! Tomorrow we're definitely going to spend some quality time together, I missed my little booger so much!

Today, my pet rabbit Luscious passed away.

I really don't even have the right to call him 'my pet'. He's really been Fatima's baby for the last several years. She's the one who has played with him, fed him, given him water, and cleaned the poop from his fur when it got stuck there. She's really been the one who was his companion and who he loved.

It's been almost 10 years since my roommates from college came by with my birthday present, a cardboard box holding a little bunny. I don't even recall wanting a rabbit, but we loved him as soon as we got him. I called him "Luscious" because our apartment nickname in college was "The Luscious Lolas of Elm" (don't ask why). It was the perfect name for my little guy.

He was integrated into our family. My father built him his own little bunny hutch, which we were allowed to keep in the house. At first, he spent most his time in there. But we realized he was happiest when he was allowed to run around the house, exploring all over the place and causing trouble. He shorted out our stereo because he ate through the power cord, giving him a nice electric shock while doing it. I let him hide under my bed, until I found out he was building a little nest there - using some of my most expensive comic books. He became a house rabbit - allowed to roam around the house during the day and sleeping in his cage at night. His life changed when we got him his "whore", a stuffed rabbit that he loved to hump. Oh, that Luscious, how he loved to hump! Anyone who has been to my house knows how funny (yet disturbing) it is to watch him hump. There've been times he's humped so long he's gotten tired and fallen off the whore. He's humped legs, arms, heads, and various other things.

I remember how his little butt would twitch when he would eat his favorite treat - bananas. Once, I bought a bunny leash and tried to put it on him - bad idea! He hated the thing. I remember what a production it would be to cut his nails - one of us would hold him, another would cut his nails, and another would give him a treat after each cut. He had a favorite spot - right underneath our kitchen table. Most of his time was spent there. When he wasn't there, he was in the living room lounging in the sidetable (as you can see in the picture above).

I remember when we got our dog Ewok. It was chaos at first. We had to keep them apart because Ewok always wanted to chase him. I don't know how many times we found Ewok chewing on Luscious' ear or with his Luscious' head in his mouth. A common sound we heard was the pitter patter of paws on the floor as Ewok terrorized Luscious. But as time wore on, they learned to coexist. Sometimes I'd even find Luscious snuggling up to Ewok. Which of course never lasted because Ewok's a spaz and he's never in one place for long.
When he got a little older, he was moved to the basement, which became like his own little bunny apartment. I remember hearing him learn how to come up the stairs - I didn't think he'd figure out to do it. Even funnier was listening to him go down the stairs - I don't know if he mastered it - I had heard him go down and then a whole bunch of thumps which sounded like he just fell halfway down. I looked at the stairway and saw him at the bottom of the stairs, shaking his head and hopping away.

Near the end, he was almost blind and so skinny. He was content to stay in a little pen in the corner of the basement. The last time I saw him was on Christmas, and I wished him a merry Christmas.

In the last several years I didn't give him the love that I should have. I was so involved with my own life that I didn't have time to take care of him. At least he got the love of Fatima who cared and nurtured him in a way that I couldn't.

So goodbye, little brother. I hope there's a lot of bananas and real rabbit whores for you to hump up there in bunny heaven!

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While we're on the theme, did anyone watch Grey's Anatomy this week? I knew from the previews last week that it would be a very emotional episode for me, but I really wasn't prepared for how much it would effect me. It was very hard to watch the end (and I'm going to spoil it right now so if you haven't watched it, don't read on) when they stopped the George's dad's life support. That scene just hit so close to home, in some ways it was as if I was reliving that day 3 years ago, standing near the bed and just waiting, waiting for the moment that we hoped would never come. Of course, I cried like a little baby when I watched.

My favorite part was what Christina had to say to George afterwards, when she welcomed him to "The Dead Dad's Club", a club that you can only enter and understand after the death of your father. A club that no one could ever comprehend until they are in it. I've often felt that way about my mother...I am touched by the support I've gotten from others, but the people who really understand are those in this club, the club that you wouldn't wish for anyone to join.

*sigh*

I miss my baby.

I've been gone for four days now and I miss Ben terribly. We had dinner at a coworker's place yesterday and someone brought their 8 month old son. He was so adorable and just learning how to cruise around! I vowed to myself after that to spend more time with Ben and play with him more.

*sniff*

p.s. Comments back up again!

I remember way back on '04 when I gushed about a young Democrat named Barack Obama. Turns out, this political superstar just might throw in his hat to become the next president. If he ran, I'd definitely vote for him (though I know he'd have a hard time against McCain). I have a couple issues with his experience, but he has a drive, and maybe that lack of experience in Washington (*cough*corruption*cough*) is actually a positive thing. He has a vision and a charisma that I think we as a country need. I only hope that our country is ready for a leader who is a minority...but if anyone can break that barrier, I think Barack can!

"The decisions that have been made in Washington these past six years, and the problems that have been ignored, have put our country in a precarious place," he said.

"America’s faced big problems before," he said. "But today, our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, commonsense way. Politics has become so bitter and partisan, so gummed up by money and influence, that we can’t tackle the big problems that demand solutions."

Story Here

'nuff said...

New Orleans has been a little favorite of mine this season. How could you not love their story - one year after the devastating hurricane that tore up their stadium, one year after their horrible season (and many bad seasons before that), their team is doing awesome. At first, it seemed like a fluke when they won their first game. But by midseason we all realized, 'hey, this team is actually good!'

But I apologize, NOLA, as much as it warms my heart to think of what an inspiration your team is for your people, Chicago is going to kick your ass next week.

Nothing makes me more happy than to see Lovie Smith with a big smile on his face. Sure, today's game was a nailbiter, but we won, and that's all that matters. It was such a relief to see Rex Grossman show all the naysayers that he could keep a cool head and not let all the immense pressure get to him. He did a pretty good job - I found it a little ironic that he was making some good passes, but they were getting dropped by his receivers.

Next week should be interesting. Hopefully Rex's confidence is back and he gives us another good game. Hopefully our defense gets their head out of their asses and closes up those gaps that Shaun Alexander got through today. Hopefully after this season we give Lovie the payraise that he deserves - it's embarrassing how poorly we pay him!

Go Bears, Go!

Why, you ask?

Well, because it seems that you've used my email account to sign up for something, and now I'm getting all of your junk spam mail. Luckily, it's my public email address which I use to sign up for things so I'm expecting junk spam in there. But come on, now I'm getting TWICE as much junk mail - mine and yours.

Jerk.

Dave has a HUGE family, but because of their size, they don't get together as often as mine does. He often tells me of his childhood where they would always spend the holidays together, but once people got married and started having families of their own, it was hard to get people together.

Last week, they decided to have a post-holiday party, and although not everyone was able to make it, it was still a pretty fun time. It was great to see Ben's little cousins - just like my family, Dave's side has had a little baby boom giving Ben many playmates for when he gets older.

So here's a snapshot of a mere fraction of the huge family that Dave has...

Real quick while I'm up doing some last minute work (really, this is the only time I can get anything done now that Ben's so mobile)...

It's funny how a new year brings on feelings of a new beginning. Really, it's just another day. Twenty four hours later than it was yesterday. But this whole magical thing happens when you move from 2006 to 2007. You feel like you can start over again. You get another chance to make right what you made wrong before.

So what's my new year's resolution? Well, it's the usual - lose weight, save money and keep in touch.

Losing weight is my main goal for this year. I'm really tired of wearing the same outfits over and over again because I can't fit into anyting else. I'm tired of looking at pictures and thinking to myself - "My face is so big!". I'm tired of looking at the scale and not seeing any of the weight fall off. So I've gotten together with some friends and we're going to push together to lose weight. I wasn't getting anywhere trying to do it myself, so hopefully with some friends I'm able to shed some pounds!

As for saving money, well, we're going to be moving eventually, so I've really got to stop all my little side shopping trips and get serious about putting some money in the bank. Also, as much as I love my little Beebo, he goes through formula and diapers so fast, and those things aren't cheap!

Then comes the keeping in touch part of my resolution. I was a little better about answering my phone this year, but I could be better. I actually missed a phone call from Hawaiian Sam who had Matthew Fox on the phone with him! All because I had forgotten to take my phone off of mute. Also, email is my communication of preference, and although I'm good at reading my mail, I always put off responding. Which of course, I will forget to do. Which is crappy of me. So I want to really try to be conscientious about writing back to people.

It's not too much of a tall order this year, just a couple little things to improve myself.

Wish me luck!

Wishing you all a happy new year's eve. Hope it's a good one and don't drink and drive!

Goodbye 2006, you were good to me!

There's a secret I've been hiding from you all for a while now. I've been wanting to talk about it, but in truth, it wasn't my secret to tell. But let me tell you what happened on Christmas Eve at my dad's house...

My dad doesn't like throwing parties...especially after my mother passed away. She loved to have parties at the house, though we'd always get stressed out with all the preparation it would take to get the house ready. After she died, the house changed, and I know my dad didn't want to have a lot of people over, and no one wanted to ask him to host any of the annual parties. The first party we had at the house was Claudine and Dan's post wedding party, and that was three years after my mom.

So I'm sure people were surprised when my dad announced he was going to host the annual Christmas party. It's been a LONG time since Christmas was hosted at our house! We all gathered there and my dad called everyone to come around the dinner table for prayer. Surprisingly, he led the prayer and afterwards he had a little something to say.

He looked to the woman standing next to him and introduced her to the room as his wife. Yes, my father is now a married man. I have a step mom.

Of course, many people in the room knew already, since my father had confided in a couple of them. Me and my sisters already knew - luckily he told us BEFORE he got married, months ago. Yes, months ago...it's been several months he's been married.

I looked around the room to see some expressions of surprise, and the smallest bit of tension in the room. Then, a voice exclaimed, with warmth and love, "Welcome to the family!" It was my Tita Ellen, my mom's best friend. I cannot tell you how much this little gesture meant to me. It eased the tension in the room, and started the words of congratulations from everyone. My uncle then cried out, "Do we all get to kiss the bride?" and the laughing began...everything was back to normal again.

I know it meant a lot to my dad that his wife was accepted by the family. He knows that my mom was loved by everyone and that some people may have been reluctant to think that he could find a new wife. So it was a great relief to me that my aunts and uncles, my family, welcomed my new step-mom with open arms.

So how do I feel about all this? Well, I really don't want to go into details about who she is, how my dad met her, how long they've been together, etc because that's not my information to tell, but I admit, at first, it was pretty hard. My mom was everything to me, and it was pretty hard to see my father happy with someone else. But then I realized I was being selfish and that I would rather have my father happy than so sad without my mom. He's in a good place now, the happiest I've seen him in a while, and I know that he'll never forget my mom, that she'll always have a place in his heart. My new step mom is really nice, though I admit that I don't know her too well. But she's a good person, and she adores Benjamin.

Those of you who were looking at my Christmas pictures might have been wondering who the woman on the left side of my family picture was...now you know!

So life this year has definitely changed! I mean, I now have two step-brothers!

Whoo...it's nice to get that off my chest!

The end of the year is upon us, so I've decided to put up my favorite posts of the last year, since year-end countdowns are all over the place right now!

It was an eventful Christmas this year! Ben and I have been pretty sick, so we've both been sneezing, coughing and feverish. But the show must go on, and we prepared for Christmas eve at my dad's place. As always, we were running late because I had to cook and get Ben ready. We took a couple pics at the house when Dave's parents came by and then headed out to my dad's.

After looking at these pictures I realize that my #1 resolution this year is to get that baby weight off. I look like Shamu jumped into the pictures with Dave and Ben!

Anyway, Ben looks so cute in his little vest and tie! You can tell he's sick because of his watery red eyes and flushed face.

At my dad's place, we ate and ate and ate. We had a little violin concert, I kicked major ass at Mortal Kombat and then we took family pictures. We took pics of Ben, Kenzo and Jacob, but it was pretty tough since the little guys kept on looking in different place.

Once the pictures were done, the auncles and aunties did some karaoke, singing Christmas songs and songs that had nothing at all to do with Christmas. After all that, we headed out to midnight mass. I had only gotten an hour and a half of sleep the night before so I was exhausted. Fatima had to poke me several times to wake up. I love going to midnight mass at my dad's church because I get a chance to see a lot of people who I grew up with, all adult with their own families.

After church, it was time to hand out the presents!

It's always so much fun when the presents are handed out. Of course, we get a little jealous when all the kids get the presents - Kenzo had a million presents. It seemed like every 3rd or 4th present was for him. Ben also got his fair share of Christmas booty. However, he was already asleep since we had started handing the gifts out at around 2 in the morning.

After all the gifts were handed out, we all opened everything at once. The room is filled with "Wow!" "Thank you!" and "This is so cool!" and wrapping paper is flying everywhere.

I finally ended up going to sleep at around 4am. Fatima and the others went on even later than that. When I woke up in the morning (to Benjamin crawling all over me) we opened Ben's gifts. He was overwhelmed by all the presents he got. He also had three outfit changes when we were opening his gifts - because he puked on himself three times. Poor little guy! But although he was a little grouchy off and on, he was happy most of the time.

Later that day we headed out to Dave's family's place for Christmas dinner. Some of Dave's relatives were there so we exchanged presents.

Ben got even more, and even a personalized chair that he sat in when we took pictures.

We then passed out because we were so exhausted and came down from the sugar rush of leche flan and french silk pie. Each party produced a car load of presents, mostly for Ben. I spent most of yesterday putting together his toys. I never realized that just getting the darn things out the BOXES would be a challenge! The tie them in there real good! :-P

So I hope you all had a great holiday, and that you spent it surrounded by the warmth of the love of friends and family.

Check out my Christmas pics here!

I thought I was only going to be gone for a couple hours, but my last-minute shopping turned into a 6 hour shopping fest.

...and yes, I went to the mall.

I really had no choice. My dad called and asked me to find him a last minute gift for someone and he was pretty specific. The only place I could get it was at the mall. So, being the dutiful daughter I always am (ha!) I got over my fear of the holiday mall craziness and went there, fearing the worst. But today, the light of the parking gods shone on me. I turned into an aisle just in time to catch a car coming out of its space a mere three spots in front of the mall.

Not only that, but pretty much EVERY place I went to I got lucky and was no more than 5 parking spots in front of the entrance, with two of them being right in front of the stores. To spread the "good parking" love, after shopping I made sure to find cars that were looking for spots and point them to my rock star parking spots. I even helped out a woman who got shafted on a spot when another car took the spot she had been waiting for - lucky for her, my spot was better than the spot she had her eye on!

So I'm thankful for this early Christmas present. I should have waited this long to buy presents, and I'm thankful that I haven't been punished for it!

...of course, now that I've mentioned this, I'm NEVER going to find a parking spot again!

So I took Ben to the doctor yesterday, because he had a high fever. I guess it wasn't the lemons that made him throw up the other day, he was actually sick. He'd been coughing that day, but we had laughed it off because it sounded like a fake cough, asking him, "What is it, son, the black lung?"

But a couple days ago his cough actually sounded pretty phlegm-y, and he started getting a fever. Yesterday he was pretty grouchy and at times inconsolable, so I took his temp and called the doc.

The doc checked him out and told me it was just a pretty bad cold. He ran a blood test to make sure that every was ok and said that it would take a couple days to get over.

Ben's had a cold before, but not one including a fever and nausea. He's handling it like a trooper, though sometimes he's a little grouchy. He's actually eating more than normal and he's still pretty active, so I'm not too worried.

But just to spoil him a bit while he's sick we had a little campout in his room so he didn't have to sleep alone...

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I hope you all are having a great holiday/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus. I'll be heading out to do some last minute shopping (but NOT at the mall!) and some preparing for tomorrow's party. I do not have ONE present wrapped yet, but hopefully I'll get them all done tonight!

For the first time in about 10 years, I've sent out all my Christmas cards. Well, not all, but there's a couple that I need to get addresses for.

As I said before, I had a ton of cards to do, mostly family since I wanted them to have an updated picture of Ben. I made up about 70 cards this year, luckily my carpal tunnel didn't come back!

For those that I didn't have a chance to send out a card for, I'll be sending out my e-cards before Christmas...

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The other day my dad took us all out to Famous Dave's for dinner. We brought Ben along and sat him in one of those baby seats that restaurants have. Since he's a big boy now, I ordered him some mashed potatoes. Before the order came, he was getting a bit fidgety. So I took the lemon from my sweet tea and let him lick it, just to see what his reaction would be. He made the cutest sour face, but after a couple licks, he started sucking on it. He actually liked it! So I let him suck on it for a while until our food came.

When his mashed potatoes came, I gave him a couple sample bites. He seemed to like it alot. Then his face contorted a bit and then BAM! Projectile vomit. He threw up the potatoes as well as the lemon he'd been sucking on.

Poor thing! I didn't even consider that the lemon would make him sick.

I'm still trying to get used to this whole feeding thing!

I made a pledge to myself that I wouldn't go to the mall the week before Christmas, but I was working in Oakbrook today and my coworkers wanted to have dinner there. So I headed out there, and traffic was horrible on the streets around the mall. The restaurant we were meeting at was at the far side of the mall, so instead of turning at the last entrance, I turned at the first entrance hoping to get out of the rush hour traffic jam.

Bad move!

The traffic jam was much worse in the parking lot! Cars were weaving in and out looking or spots, waiting in long lines at stop signs, ugh, it was horrible! It took me about 10 minutes to get to the other side of the mall. Then I started looking for parking, which was pretty much nonexistent. I was going to head out to the far parking lot when God took pity on me and had a car back out of its spot right in front of the restaurant we were meeting at. I arrived and my coworkers had already eaten most of the bread.

But it was a good meal. It's always nice to meet up with coworkers since I work from home now. It's nice to actually talk to faces rather than on the phone or email!

Still working on Ferberizing Benjamin. Since he's a little older, it's harder to get him to sleep, especially since he really hasn't been sleeping at all in his crib since he was about 4, 5 months old.

Day 2 was actually not too bad, but that's because we went to a Christmas party and didn't get home until around 10. Ben was exhausted so as soon as I put him in his crib, he protested a little bit but then fell asleep soon. He woke up about an hour later, and we went through the routine for about 40 minutes, but then he fell back asleep and didn't wake until 9am the next morning.

We also tried putting him in his crib during his nap, which he wasn't happy about. What usually happens is he cries and then just falls asleep when he gets exhausted. He looks like a little rag doll when he finally gives in!

Yesterday he took about an hour and a half to fall asleep, but once again, slept through the whole night.

Tonight will be Day 4...we'll see what happens, but I hope it doesn't take as long because I've got to actually go to a client tomorrow!

[update below]

So I've finally come to the point where I have found the need to have Ben sleep in his own bed. As I've mentioned many times before, I don't really mind sleeping with Ben, even though he wakes up a couple times a night. Since I'm still breastfeeding, I just feed him while I'm lying down so I hardly even wake up.

However, he's gotten quite spoiled and the times that I've tried to have him just cry it out, he gets pretty cranky and I end up just giving in. But that was ok, I didn't mind.

The problem happens when I'm gone traveling for work. When it's just Dave sleeping with him, or Dave's parents when Dave is at the hospital on call, Ben will still wake up, expecting that nocturnal snack. When he doesn't get it, or when someone isn't making that bottle fast enough, he will let the whole house know he isn't happy. No one sleeps if Ben doesn't sleep! Everyone suffers his wrath!

I know that babies after 6 months of age are quite capable of soothing themselves to sleep, and no longer need to eat every several hours. I mean, Ben was sleeping throughout the night at 3 months and a couple months after that. It was only after we decided to all sleep together that he started to take advantage of our sleeping arrangement. (I used to sleep in Ben's nursery and Dave would sleep in our bed...Dave was lonely so we decided to consolidate)

So since Dave is on vacation this week and lives aren't on the line if he only catches a couple hours of sleep, I decided this is the time we try some Ferber techniques. For those of you who don't know, the Ferber method allows the baby to learn how to eventually soothe himself to sleep. It's pretty controversial because it involves letting your baby cry it out a bit. Hmm, make that A LOT. But the end result is that the baby realizes that crying isn't going to get him rocked back to bed or a midnight meal so he might was well just go to sleep and wait til morning.

The toughest thing about this method is having to sit around and listen to your baby cry. You go into the room at different intervals to let the baby know you haven't abandoned him and that you still love him, but those intervals increase with time. It usually takes several days, but eventually, the babies learn.

So it's day one. And here's the times, so if Ben ever grows up and reads this thing, I can point to this and say, "Hey punk, on December 15th, 2006, I stayed up ALL FRIGGIN' NIGHT trying to get you to sleep on your own. I better get a nice ass mother's day present!"

(ohh, as I type this last sentence, I hear blissful silence. Spoke too soon...damn clickety clacking keyboard!)

Check in times
Phase 1: Putting Ben to Sleep

So it occured to me that Christmas is a little more than 11 days away. Several weeks ago I made a serious dent in my Christmas to-buy list after I bought a bunch of presents. I prided myself that this year, I wouldn't be scrambling to buy presents at the last minute. The day after Thanksgiving, I started my online shopping, but never paid for everything in my cart because I wanted to submit the order when I had enough for the Super Cool Free Shipping. But now, that time has passed and I can't even guarantee that I'll get the shipment before Christmas.

Damn my procrastinating ass!

So tonight I will venture out to my happy place, Best Buy, and pray that the lines aren't TOO painfully long and that I won't get into any fights with anyone for a parking spot. Because of any place I know, Best Buy is the place where you can get something for everyone!

Most of you won't know what I'm talking about, but I just had to say it...

What did I do to get the honor of the attention? I'm really confused as to how I got picked out - or if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If it's because of what I think it is, I'm sorry, it was just an observation. I meant no harm or anything malicious. I mean, come on, the guy had sunglasses on! But I guess you're right, the other guy does kinda look like me because we all look alike. Anyway, that life is more or less over for me now...I've moved my energies towards other things.

Oh well, life goes on! I'm still a fan, and I shall keep my promise to one day take my little guy to Evanston...

Greetings from Minneapolis! I brought my stash of Christmas cards with me because I have pledged this year to send them ALL out. Ever since I started sending out Christmas cards I have never sent them ALL out. There are always a handful of cards that are written out but I either am too busy to mail them out or I just forget they exist.

Of course, making my mission a little more complicated is the fact that my Christmas card list has doubled since last year. Over the year relatives have often said, "Mail me a picture of Ben! I want updates!" so decided to just send a pic of Ben as my Christmas card. Also, I've also made it harder for myself by choosing to handmake a lot of my cards. I'm a crafty person by nature, but my life right now has made it very hard to scrapbook or papercraft. Well, even before I was married and had a kid, I never made the time to make a scrapbook, so I guess my busy life right now is no excuse.

I did reach a milestone yesterday - my flight was delayed so I was able to finish about a third of my cards. So the first batch was out this morning. I don't want to set myself up for failure, so most of my cards will be sent to family, and many friends will probably get an e-greeting from me, though I'll definitely personalize it rather than sending out a mass e-greeting.

I love sending out holiday greetings, but usually I just don't have the time. I don't like just signing my name and sealing the envelope. I like writing a little something to at least let people know the card wasn't mass produced. However, by writing all my little sentiments for people, I usually get a bad hand cramp. When I was pregnant last year, I actually developed carpal tunnel in my wrist because I was using my laptop too much and I suspect because I had written one too many Christmas cards.

But it's all worth it. One of the great things about this season is how that warm, loving feeling is spread from person to person, and I love being a part of that.

So happy holidays everyone (I say that because Christmas really isn't hear yet, but we're definitely in that "holiday" season!)...don't get so caught up in the commercial aspect of this season, and remember to take the time to stop and let people know you care about them!

This year I hosted our family Thanksgiving party. Normally we have it at my aunt's house, but I decided, with some hinting, to have it at our place. I usually would be so excited to host it at our place, but with Ben being a bit fussy and needy lately I knew it would be a challenge to get all the preparations done. Dave's parents were out of town, as well as my father, so I couldn't ask them for help. Fatima was working that day, Claudine was in Michigan, Dave had a big project and was mostly AWOL, so I was left on my own. Thankfully Dave quit early and helped out with cleaning the house, but it was as if Ben knew that I had a ton to do that day - he was extra fussy.

I had several dishes that I wanted to make, as well as a couple desserts. I ended up just making 2 of the 4 dishes and some bibingka and cupcakes which I didn't get to decorate the way I wanted to (I wanted to decorate them for Melanie and Dave's birthdays).

Parties always get me flustered and stressed out for the first hour or so - there's just so much to take care of. My aunts were great helping out and even at the end of the party, they made sure to clean up all the dishes and pack all the leftovers. I was able to relax once everyone got there and have a good time. It was fun to watch the kiddies run around and be silly, and to just hang out with the family. We had a pretty nice spread of food, with some great main dishes to eat and a LOT of desserts. I asked the cousins to pitch in with the food and dessert was a popular choice - my cousin Marlon even made some pumpkin pies that were DELICIOUS! It was great that they helped out, too.

I brought out Benjamin's shark costume for Kenzo to try. He hated it, but he looked adorable in it. After that, we all tried on the shark suit. It was hilarious! Maybe I'll bring it around to the next Thanksgiving and make it a tradition...

So here's some fun shark pics for you to enjoy!

See more pictures here

Today is the three year anniversary of day my mother passed away. You know, I've wondered if I'll always be waiting for this day to come every year, a day to reflect on the past and re-live everything that happened that day. Truthfully, it does get a little easier, but in many ways there is a sadness there that I don't think will ever go away.

Before writing this I looked at my other posts from this day for the last couple years, as well as the posts that I made on that sad day and the days following. Life has gone on, and things have changed, but I can still remember so much from that day - the sadness that filled the room, the crying, trying to hold myself together for the sake of everyone else...I guess those are memories that will never fade.

Last year around this time, I was pregnant with Ben. I was so excited knowing that I was bringing a new life into the world, that I'd finally be starting a family of my own. But at night sometimes I'd think of my mother and how much I wished she was around. When she was alive I never really thought about how much I relied on her opinions and advice. I really didn't think we had anything in common where her past experiences would help me. As I'm getting onto this new phase of my life, I realize that her words would help out so much...

I still like imagining things about her - what she'd be like with Ben. She'd give him her own special nickname, like "Benji" or "Bentoot". She'd sing him little songs that would teach him to close and open his hands, she'd show him how to bat his eyelashes and make "beautiful eyes", she would come over and grab the baby before even saying hello to me, she'd tell Ben that his mommy was crazy and that he should grow up to be a good boy, she'd babysit for him and I'd come home to find him chewing on her curlers. When I was pregnant making up these scenarios made me pretty sad, but now that Ben's born, it gives me a sense of comfort to run through these little scenes in my head. She would love Benjamin so much, he would be her little prince, her little superstar.

Something that always makes me well up with emotion is thinking back on the day that Benjamin was born. That night, a bunch of my aunts and uncles came to the hospital to visit. They were so happy to see the little baby! Amid all the happiness, I know there was that underlying thought in everyone's head - "I wish Cris was here". I know part of the reason they all came was because ever since my mom passed, they've all been watching out for me. I can tell that they all miss her so much, and they want to make sure that their best friend's daughter is taken care of. My aunts, in a way, have become surrogate mothers to me and my sisters.

I haven't taken Benjamin to my mom's grave yet. I was talking to Fata yesterday and said that I'd probably take Ben to the cemetary today if I had time with work and the Thanksgiving prep. I said, "He hasn't met Mommy yet..." She replied with, "I'm sure he has..." Which is true. Though he hasn't been to her resting place yet, which really wouldn't mean anything to him - it would just be a place with weird shaped rocks and a lot of grass to Ben - I'd like to think that my mom is his personal guardian angel. There are so many times when I'd see him looking off into nowhere as if he's watching someone and then he'd break out into a smile. It would be cool if my mom was watching over him - during her time here she raised 3 good kids (with my father's help, of course!) and I'm sure she'd do a great job guiding my little Booger through life...

So yeah, I miss you, Mommy, but I know you're still here watching over us and shaking your head at all the crazy things I'm doing to your grandson.

Had a pretty busy weekend...

Friday, I came home from Minneapolis. I spent a ton of quality time with Ben, I'd missed him so much! It's incredible how much they grow after just a week.

Saturday Ben actually started crawling for the first time. We were so happy! He was so adorable, working so hard to put one hand in front of the other and scooting his legs forward, trying not to tip over or fall on his face. So now there's nothing to stop him...I've really got to get out and buy some baby proofing stuff, especially some gates to keep him away from the television cords and stuff. He's already got the hang of trying to climb things, so the fact that he's crawling now means that he can crawl to things and try to climb them.

Saturday night we hung out at Melanie's to watch the Pacquiao/Morales fight. The several fights that took place before them were pretty good - they went for all the rounds and were pretty exciting. Even though the broadcast started at 8, the main event didn't happen until about 10pm. It was a pretty exciting fight. Pacquiao was really landing some awesome punches. Then Morales fell down, looked at his father in the corner, and didn't bother to get up. The fight was over after a mere 15 minutes! How anticlimactic!

Sunday we headed out to my cousin's house in Batavia. I thought it would take forever to get there, but it actually wasn't too bad of a drive. She made us this great spread of food, and her daughters were so entertaining! It was a good time, watching the Bears game (which was a bit boring) and just watching the kids entertain themselves. Man, there are times I wish I had carpeting in the main room of my house!

Afterwards we went to Chuck E Cheese for another birthday. I haven't been there in ages, and it was PACKED! That place is pretty crazy. There wasn't much for Ben to do there except ride a couple of the motorized rides, but he seemed to enjoy it. I'm sure I'll post a pic of him riding eventually. He gets so serious when he's out in public. He's not the happy bubbly little Benbooger that he is at home. He's all business!

Anyway, it's late/early, I guess I should get a couple hours of sleep before work tomorrow!

...before it even had a chance to start.

My voice is still scratchy from last week but is notably better. Last year I could hardly talk, which normally is OK, but when you're teaching a room of people it's pretty difficult. The reason my voice took so long to heal is probably because I was forcing it last week.

I know my voice isn't completely healed yet because when I do my car-singing (which is the only time I sing, outside of family karaoke parties) I only have a range of about 5 notes. Everything outside of that is either squeaky or just hair coming out of my mouth. Normally I have a Christina/Maria-esque range. Well, I like to pretend I do.

So any of you heading out to my family Thanksgiving party, which I foolishly volunteered to do this year, will feel safe to know I probably won't be grabbing that microphone from you to do my rendition of "Baby One More Time".

This year I had a training class on the same day as Halloween. I didn't think to take the day off, but looking back, I should have. Luckily, Dave had the day off and he took BenBeaver to where Grandma worked. They always have kids come in to trick or treat at the office. Dave told me that everyone loved Ben's costume and he was a very good little boy. He came home with tons of candy (which he won't eat, of course) and I also found out that someone snuck him a cookie. Ben started solids at around 4 months, but he's still at mush-level food. By the time Dave found him with the cookie, Ben had already gummed it up and had crumbs all over his face. They took the cookie away and Ben objected and cried. So young and already crying when sweets are taken away from him!

As I said before, I didn't have any time to decorate the outside of the house for Halloween, which normally I love doing. I got home early in hopes that I would have time to decorate. As I was driving from the train station I could see that there were a lot of kids out trick or treating already. I debated on going to the store to pick up more candy, but decided against it. I already had 3 bags of candy, which I separated into little treat baggies complete with mini-kaleidoscopes and skull rings. I was prepared to be the coolest house on the block.

...and I waited.

...and waited.

I played with Ben, who was really sleepy from his busy day. I fell asleep with him on my belly at around 8.

I didn't even hear the doorbell when it rang. Dave went to go answer it and handed the kids the treat bags (I told him only the older kids get the treat bags. Babies just get candy.)

...and that was it.

Just one group of trick-or-treaters. Three kids for the whole night! That's all!

It could be because of several factors:

I've had a cold over the last couple days, and yesterday I lost my voice. Normally, that's not a big deal, but I'm teaching classes this week so it's been very difficult. I can't just call in sick because there are people depending on me. But it's hard to go through class and straining my voice to be heard by my students. They're very understanding, and we let out early so I could rest my voice. My throat isn't sore (yet) but hopefully today (it's 1am right now) my voice will be better, because I need to teach these classes!

As most of you know, today is election day, and I made sure to go out and vote. I hate the way the government is running right now, and I feel that I have the right to complain if I go out and vote. Anyone who complains about how the government who hasn't voted has no right to. If you care about our country, if you care about our future, you should take some responsibility and get out and vote.

There's a certain feeling of power you get when you vote. You slip your little ballot into the box and think, "I'm making a difference." Even if your candidate doesn't win, (Boo...Tammy Duckworth lost. What is my district thinking?!?! Oh well, she was pretty close and I live in a very conservative district) at least I made my voice heard, my vote gives my candidate my vote of confidence. I was happy to see the turnout in my area...there was a great variety of people there.

Even though my favorite candidate didn't win, at least it looks like things are changing in Washington. I don't know if the Democrats are going to do much better because our country is already in a deep hole as it is, but at least we're going to have a new direction. There are a lot of times when I think that our country is taking steps backwards, but with the results of this election, I feel we're starting to make some progress again. South Dakota rejected the super-conservative abortion ban, gay-marraige votes are close in some states (I don't even think it should BE on the ballot)...hopefully things will start turning around.

So I'm up late, like always, and I've got the latest in the Chicago elections on the news. It's a little crazy because one of the candidates, Tony Peraica refuses to concede the race because all the votes hadn't been counted. With 70% of the votes counted, he was down 43% to Todd Stroger's 57%. At his rally, Peraica urged his people to go to the Cook County clerk's office to demand that those votes be counted. They marked over at midnight and tried to enter the building, then his opponents supporters came as well. Fights happened, people slapped each other, chanting happened, men were standing on top of boxes of ballots, people were arrested, it's currently mayhem and craziness there. I understand that the fight isn't over until it's over, that's fine, but to call your people to come in and harrass the people whose job it is to count those votes, making their jobs that much more difficult is wrong. Just let them do their job...it's late and I'm sure they didn't anticipate it. Grr!

Politics. Man, I have no stomach for all that drama. But I need to be part of the process to make sure that I'm getting counted. I'm not part of cook county anymore anyway so that race doesn't really matter to me!

I hope you all voted! If not, make sure you're registered and vote next time!

Life has been so crazy lately. There are just so many things I'd like to post but this little guy is taking up every last free moment I have. I'd like to say that things will be slowing down this week but I've got another set of training classes I've got to teach this week so I'll be swamped again. But I guess in this line of work, being swamped is a good thing. Just not good for blogging! I'll really try to catch up this week, though...this blog is getting pretty boring!

Ben hosted his very first Spooktacular Halloween Party on the same day we went to the zoo. Since my cousin wasn't able to have her annual pumpkin carving, I decided to host it at my place. It's been a bit crazy around here so I wasn't able to decorate like I usually do, but I was able to make my "worms and dirt" dessert.

I love having traditions like this, and every year it gets a little bigger and bigger. The table was just big enough for all of us to do our carving, and it's always a lot of fun.  By the end of the night I was totally pooped, it was such a long day!

Here's pictures from the night (click to enlarge):

I'm trying to get a collection of pumpkin templates together, so we have a wide variety of pumpkin designs to choose from.  Anyone who wants a copy can email me next year...I should have them all scanned by then!  

Next year's party will be a lot better...I bought a lot of cool Halloween decorations the day after Halloween, and I can't wait to use them!

It's very chilly here in Chicago this week, it almost seems like we went from summer directly to winter. I only remember one day when I went outside, felt a briskness in the air and thought, "I love fall!" Of course, I've been traveling a lot, so Fall could have happened without me, but I love that "brisk weather" feeling. I hope we get more of them soon, rather than the "Damn, it's cold out today!" feeling. Well, at least I get to wear my Canadian hat that I got earlier this year.

I have yet to put up my Halloween decorations. Usually I have them up in the beginning of October, but I've been so busy lately traveling and taking care of Benkenstein that I haven't had the time to take all my things out of storage. The only things I have up right now are a "Everybatty's welcome" sign and pumpkin stake for my lawn that I purchased at Hobby Lobby. I need to get my stuff up soon, because Halloween is next week! I also need to stuff my goodie bags. Every year I buy goodie bags and fill them with candy, toys and stickers for the trick or treaters. Now that we live in the 'burbs where all the kids go to the mall to do their trick or treating I can really load up the bags since we don't get as many door-to-door kids.

There seems to be so much to do, yet so little time. I need to make a checklist or something to keep me in line. I've been wanting to create a photo album for my father and in-laws of Ben's pictures - nothing fancy like a scrapbook or anything, just a regular photo album that you slip pictures into. But I've had several projects that have been keeping me busy at work and at home that I've been pushing that project aside. As well as Ben's baptism "Thank You" cards. ("What Christine? You haven't sent those out yet? It was three months ago!" Yeah, shut up.)

I'm trying to get all those things done as well as spend time with Benjamin, because I feel so sad when I'm traveling and he's at home. I try to spend every extra moment with him and sometimes I just forget to do anything else. He's also been pretty needy lately with his cold and snot bubbles and all.

I can tell he's pretty excited about Halloween, I want to share my love for the holiday with him. OK, he's not excited. He's less than thrilled to be confined in the costumes I bought him. (Costumes? More than one? Yeah, you read it right. I'm a crazy Halloween mommy that way). But he looks ADORABLE in both of them, I can't wait to post some pictures.

Speaking of pictures, I haven't even had time to play with my new toy! *wah*

Hey mi familia out there - what do you think of having a zoo fieldtrip/pumpkin carving party on Sunday? Or maybe pumpkin carving on Friday? Any of you up for it? I'm talking to YOU, Marilyn, Mel, Shannon and Fata...well, and Claudine if she's reading this, or Dan you can relay the message. I'll make up an evite and see if anyone is interested...

My poor blog, it's been so neglected lately. I still love you YWIM!

OK, it's back to work for me...hopefully I'll get some stuff done tonight, I may have to strap Benny to the baby bjorn to do it!

...but I just couldn't help myself.

As you may know, I've got a lot of camera envy. I'm part of flickr and I'm always amazed at the beautiful shots that people take, especially the ones from people who have kids. The ones that impress me the most always have one thing in common - they're taken with a digital SLR camera. It's a digital camera that acts like a regular, old fashioned camera.

I often use the manual mode on my Camedia, but there's only so much I can do with it. I've always had problems with low light pictures being grainy and trying to catch pictures of objects in motion.

So I've been thinking of getting a DSLR. It was a long range plan, since the good ones run at least $700. Since having Benjo, money's pretty tight right now.

I'm sure you know where this is going...

Anyway, I stopped by Staples the other day to buy some toner for my printer, and I saw a yellow sign in the camera area. They had the Nikon D50 on sale for $150 less than what it usually costs. I played around with the sample camera...it was awesome...

I ran home and did all the research I could on the D50 - it seems like no one has any major complaints about it. Most people find it comparable to Canons, some find it even better. The best thing was the price that Staples was offering it was cheaper than many of the internet prices that I found (the ones that seemed legit, that is).

So I decided to check it out at Staples again - because I had to go buy envelopes. I saw the D50 and asked if they had any more in stock - the price was only for things in stock. I was told that they only had one left.

I got home and told Dave that I was going to buy a new camera. He was hesitant, since I already have a camera, but I told him I'd cut back on some things and sell stuff on ebay to make up for it. I went back to Staples and bought the camera. They took it out of the cage, I paid for it, and ran home, ready to play with my new toy.

I opened the box and saw several smaller boxes. I opened the first one, which felt very light. Inside there was just styrofoam packing. I opened the next, nothing but a plastic bag. The third one had batteries, a charger, and a bunch of cords. No camera! I looked at the box and it said "Display"...they sold me the box of the display model.

I ran back to Staples and explained that I purchased an empty box. The only D50 they had there was the display model, and after some thought I decided to just get the display model. They gave me 10% off what the clearance price was, which was a nice chunk of change, and I was off again.

I got home and opened up my new treasure, once again. I had no idea how to use the thing! Ben was lying on the floor so I tried taking pictures of him with the manual setting. I gave up after a while (I didn't bother to look at the manual yet) and went to the automatic mode. I had much more success with that!

So here's one of my first pictures, with my new camera. Cammie (my older camera) will still be used on a regular basis, but Difty (his new name) will be for special occasions!

I'm in the office today, taking a lot of pictures...I'll tell you all why later!

Benjamin learned how to hold his bottle on his own last week while I was gone in San Jose. However, he gets bored of it easily and usually lets the bottle fall to his side if we aren't paying attention.

Here I am, on my second trip away from my BennyBooBoo. I'm in the airport waiting for my flight that is - surprise surprise - delayed. I'm heading off to a conference for work. I'm curious to see how this conference will go - the conferences we had for X-Systems were AWESOME. We'd hang out with the clients, play whirlyball, go drinking and dancing all night and walk around like zombies during the day. The conference for X-Company last year was OK, we didn't really know anyone yet so we just kept to ourselves.

The one cool think about traveling now - something that I've been waiting for for what feels like decades, is that O'Hare Airport now has wireless internet. Sure, it's $7 for 24hr access, but hey, that's cheaper than other airports, though not free like Portland is. Now I can surf the internet if my flight is delayed (which it will be inevitably) for the price of a McDonald's "value" meal.

I've got my comics, internet and LOST Dvd's to keep my company while I wait...hopefully my battery will last until I get to San Jose. I'll probably end up either sleeping or watching the movie anyway.

Ben was asleep when I left, so I didn't get a chance to see his smiley toothless grin one last time.

*sigh*

Thanks to Redpac for the tip!

I've come to two realizations since I've been to Detroit - I have tiny earholes and since I gave birth to Benarooni, my right foot is bigger than my left.

For this trip I'm at a client that is a major car manufacturer and I'm training at their plant. To get to the training room, I need to cross the main factory floor which requires me to wear protective goggles and earplugs, which they had supplied me when I arrived. This isn't the first time I've had to wear goggles, but it is the first time I've had to wear earplugs. I stuck 'em in my ear and went into the factory. Well, actually, I stuck in the right one and took about 5 minutes to get the other one in my left because it kept on popping out. My earhole was too small to fit the little plastic earplug. I know I have small ears, but I never really thought to the level of my earholes. I mean, how often does anyone really think about their earholes?

Since I haven't been on a trip in a while, since January actually, I needed to go out and get a lot of travel supplies. One other thing I needed to get were some business shoes. My old shoes where worn out and they were getting pretty uncomfortable. That's what happens when you buy your shoes at Payless! So of course, I bought another pair at Payless. I found a nice pair, but they didn't have my regular size - a size 8. But since I'm in between a 7 1/2 and an 8, I found a 7 1/2 (i prefer 8's because I like my shoes loose). I tried on one of the shoes and it fit perfectly, with just a little leeway for socks. I didn't bother trying on the shoes at home because I don't have time for those piddly things, the first time I actually wore both shoes I was at the airport for my flight. I put on the left and it fit just fine. I put on the right and "What the ?!?! This shoe is tight on my foot!" I looked at the size on the shoe, and they were both the same. But it was tight on my right foot - my right foot is deformed! Deformed and enlarged by my ex-pregnancy!

Yeah, I'm a freak.

I miss my baby!

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
This early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

Today I'm flying out to Detroit. It's the first trip I've taken since January, the first one I've taken since Benjamin was born. I wanted to hold off on traveling for a while since I'm still breastfeeding Benjamin, but there's a shortage of people in the company who can do what I can do. I really hate to leave, but I have to.

I look back on the lifestyle that I had before Benjamin was born, being away every week for a couple days or a whole week, coming home for the weekend and then leaving the next week. My suitcase was my closet, I racked up frequent flyer miles, and I'd be in so many hotels I'd often forget what my room number was. Of course I'd be sad that I'd be away from Dave, but we both had such crazy schedules that even when I was home he'd sometimes be on call and we didn't see each other all the time.

It's so different now. I'm not looking forward to taking this trip and being away from my little BenMuffin. My day always starts with him smiling up at me, and the highlight of my night is putting him down to bed. In between it's filled with laughing jumping, squealing and lately he's been doing a lot of grunting. He learns something new every day, his world is opening up to him, and I love being there to see him go through every moment of it.

So now I'll be gone. I'm scared he won't remember me when I get back Wednesday. I'd hate to learn that he's mastered some new amazing trick while I've been gone, like holding his bottle on his own or sitting up for the first time. I'll be thinking of him every single moment I'm gone. I've copied all my favorite pictures of him onto my laptop so I can go through them when I'm back at my hotel at night.

This week is just the beginning - not only am I traveling this week but I'm also gone for the next 2 weeks.

*cries*

I think I'm going to invest in a webcam so we can do a videochat or something!

Ever since I made my monkey cupcakes, I've been wanting to bake more cupcakes and unleash my creative side. I did a lot of research for designs for the monkey cupcakes, and I found some amazing cupcake artists, they really inspired me. Their cupcake art was beautiful, I could only hope to be half as good as them (click photos for their sites):

So last weekend was the annual block party at my old neighborhood. I wanted to do something special so I found a cute cupcake garden design by SG Cupcakemomma. I went out to Hobby Lobby to purchase some supplies - cake decorating bag, icing tips, fondant, cups, and icing color. I was going to buy a cupcake case to transport my cupcakes, but it was $20 for a case that would hold 12 cupcakes. I'm not ready to pay $40 to carry around two dozen cupcakes! Then it was off to my local Jewel-Osco to buy some frosting - because I'm too lazy to do anything from scratch. I want to give their bakery a big shout out because I went to the lady at the counter and asked if I could have some of their cupcake containers, and she was like, "You don't want cupcakes?" and I said as I pointed to my supplies, "No, I'm making my own" and she nicely gave me enough containers for 2 dozen cupcakes. I guess it never hurts to ask!

So I labored that night til the wee hours of the morning, baking, icing, cutting out fondant flowers and putting everything together. I'm happy with the results but I've left a lot of room for improvement. I did get tired of piping all the grass with the store bought icing that was too soft so I just did my second dozen with plain cream cheese frosting. Next time I'll definitely make my own frosting, so I can control the consistency.

Here's the results of my night of cupcake making!

Flowerpot Cupcakes

Chocolate Cream Cheese Cupcakes

If you've been living under a rock for the last couple weeks, today is the 5th year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I was going to say "The World Trade Center" attacks, but really, it was much more than that. It was an attack on the Pentagon, as well, an attack on flight 93, an attack against our way of life, an attack on our freedom.

I remember when I was younger, people would always say that there were certain events in the world that you would always remember where you are when they happened. "Where were you when JFK died?" was the one I always heard. For me, it was "Where were you when Princess Diana died?" But really, it only kind of remembered what I was doing when I saw the news she died.

But I remember September 11th, 2001. I remember it clearly. Here's what I had written in 2002, one year later:

On the morning of September 11th, I was later for work that I usually am. Before running out the door, the TV was on the Today show, which was showing images of the World Trade Center on fire. Katie Couric was reporting that it was an airplane that hit the building, and that chances are it was accidental, there was no cause to suspect foul play. I left, and when I got to work, my coworkers immediately came to me and said 'They shut down Sears Tower. It's been evacuated.' I was really confused. I asked 'Is this because of the plane that hit the world trade center?' And they replied, 'Plane? There were two.' I had no clue what was going on.

At work, we tried accessing the internet to find out what was going on, but there was too much traffic on CNN and MSNBC. This was a time before blogs were popular, so there was nowhere to get information. Even though we had a little radio, in our building it's hard for us to get reception on radios, so we couldn't get news on that, either. All the information came from clients that called, and by calling our homes. My late shift coworker told us about the Pentagon. Another client told us that O'Hare was hit. We didn't know what was the truth, and we were not aware of the scope of the horror that was happening in New York. We didn't know that the towers fell, we didn't know that the plane crashed in Pennsylvania. All we knew was that we're one of the tallest buildings in downtown Chicago, and that we could be a target, or close to one. Being on the 33rd floor, I can see the Sears Tower outside of my window, and the John Hancock building outside of another. We were watching both that morning.

We weren't aware of the horrors that were going on in New York, so we just continued working. We even had a team meeting and got chewed out by the president of our company for getting an angry email from a client. We heard from the building that a lot of companies were closing for the day, we were told by management that we would stay. We angrily continued to work, getting information from people on the phones, debatin on just leaving for our safety.

Finally, at 1pm, they evacuated our building. For some reason, we didn't feel like going home. We went to the local sports bar that we normally hang out at and sat and watched all the different news stations. We sat there in disbelief as we saw image after image. Drinks that we ordered sat untouched as we watched footage of the towers fall. I felt like crying, but I was too stunned, the tears wouldn't fall. Hardly any words were spoken, other than 'This is surreal', 'Can you believe this?'. But no answers were expected. After we couldn't take anymore, we went home. Downtown Chicago was a ghostown, nothing was open.

Coming home, I just watched more TV with my father and sisters, hours and hours of it, as if it would give some reason for the madness. We sat there and watched news anchors who had reported on all sorts of terrible things come close to breaking down. I watched until I couldn't take it anymore, no matter how much I watched, it never made any sense.

I've watched a couple of the tribute shows for 9/11. I admit that I still watch to make sense of it all. But this time, rather than feeling an overwhelming feeling of sadness when watching, I feel pride at the actions of so many of the heroes on that day. From the firemen who went in, knowing they might not come out to the ordinary people who helped each other - searching for survivors or helping people down the stairs. There were so many stories of heroism, people selflessly sacrificing themselves to help others. It's been said that New Yorkers are uncaring, rude people (sorry Denizzy!) but they showed their true colors on that day, and every day since.

The world is a different place today. There's a sense of caution that wasn't there before. Chances are, they will try again, and they may succeed. But it's not going to be easy. They're not going to catch us off guard so easily again.

Though I am far from a country music lover, I heard Alan Jackson singing this song on the Today show a couple weeks ago, and reflects a lot of the feelings that linger today:

Where Were You
by Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turnin'
that September day?
Out in the yard with your wife and children;
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Rising against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you weep for the children
that lost their dear loved ones?
Did you pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
and sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer?
And look at yourself for what really matters?

I'm just a singer of simple songs;
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference
in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love.

Where were you when the world stopped turning
That September day?
Teaching a class full of innocent children;
Driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
in a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her?
Did you dust off that bible at home?

Did you open your eyes hope it never happened;
And close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages;
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow;
Go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers?
Stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

Where were you when the world stopped turnin'
that September day?

I've been back to work for about 2 months now, and although it's nice to use my brain again and get out of the house, I end up missing Benjamin terribly! I haven't traveled yet, but I'll be going out on my first trip in a couple weeks. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's part of my job. I'm going to take a million pictures and videos of Ben to put on my laptop and I'm considering getting a video webcam so I can talk to him at night.

Since coming back I've been doing some custom work at home and a lot of training classes in the office. I haven't done much on-site face to face client work, until earlier this week. It was nice to fall back into my old role, the role I had before we had gotten bought out by X-Company and X-Inc. It was like riding a bike. I had done it so much I had no problem falling back into the role. It felt like the good ol' days.

Of course, I'm still reminded of my role as a mom, gazing at my Benjamin screensaver during breaks and counting the seconds until it was time to go home.

Yesterday I was at my client's, and I had stopped by the bathroom before I was ready to go home. I saw something on my shoulder that caught my eye. I investigated further and realized that I had a huge trail of Ben spit up going down my should to my mid-back! I had walked around the whole day without realizing that Benjamin had spit up on my shoulder when I was playing with him that morning!

I knew it was too late to hope that no one noticed, but I cleaned up the baby gunk anyway.

I have to remember to do a spit up check in the mirror before I go to work now!

I finally got my new business cards for X-Inc. I'm horrible at giving away business cards - I'm lucky if I even carry them around with me. I had a box of my X-Systems cards left when X Company bought us. I got new business cards a couple months after that. By the time I gave out 30 of them, we got bought out by X-Inc. So for the longest time I still gave out my old cards, even after X-Inc changed our email addresses and phone numbers. I would just joke to clients, "The phone number doesn't work, the email address doesn't really exist anymore, but if you email me, it'll eventuall find its way to me, don't worry!" But now that I'm doing a lot of training classes, I felt the need to actually get real business cards that actually have the X-Inc logo on them.

So yeah, I've got 250 business cards sitting on my desk at work. I sometimes wonder how many I'll actually give out before we get bought out again!

Today's my three year wedding anniversary with my partner in crime, the father of my son, Dave. This is actually the first time I've been home on our anniversary, having to travel for work on this day for the last two years.

So we're heading out to dinner at a swanky restaurant and Ben's with his grandparents. I don't have much time to write, but I just wanted to thank Dave for three wonderful years. The first year was rough, but we've settled nicely into married life, and now, life as parents.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Some of you may wonder what I do for a living. It has nothing to do with web design or surfing the internet (though I wish it did!). Well, about 1% of it is web design. Anyway, I do a lot of stuff, too much for me to put in here right now.

But one of my jobs is tech support. That's actually what got me started at this company, long, long, ago.

Over the years I've worked here I have been in contact with a wide variety of customers, with a wide variety of problems. To tell the truth, I love doing customer support. I love helping people with their problems and coming up with a solution. There are people who are great at doing support, who can make a customer feel at ease. There are some people who suck balls at it - they come off as unhelpful, rude, cocky and they give the customer the feeling that they are just wasting their time. I apologize for those people...they're getting paid for a reason, and it's not to piss off customers. Keep a smile on your face and drown 'em with niceness, that's my motto.

But I've also experienced my share of jerky customers, people who talk to you like you're nothing, people who feel like they're entitled to be priority #1 even though their problem may be a minor one. When people are jerky to us, we don't work as hard to help them. Sure, we'll try to fix their problem, but we won't go above and beyond for someone who talks down to us.

So here's a couple tips to enhance any experience you have with customer support:

- Be nice. If you're nice to us, we'll work hard to fix your problem. If you're mean, we'll still fix your problem, but we will just do enough to fix it. For nice people we might throw in some extra help or advice to make things work better.

- If you have an error, write down the error somewhere so when you call us, you can tell us exactly what the error is. Just saying "I'm getting an error" isn't going to do anything!

- Make sure you check any troubleshooting tips in your manual before calling in. We're going to ask you the exact same things when you call us. Don't get upset and scream, "I'VE DONE THAT ALREADY!" You don't know how many people call us and never try the steps in the manual first...we're just trying to cover all the bases!

- Never say, "It's not working!" and let that be the end of your complaint. If it's not working, tell us what's wrong. Tell us if it's ever worked before. Tell us if anything had changed before you had the problem. Give us as much info as you can about your problem and what it was like before the problem.

- I know you're smart. I know that maybe some of the things we walk you through to troubleshoot you may know how to do and might be easy. But if we're having you troubleshoot on the phone, try not to get ahead of us or assume that you know what the next steps will be. We get a lot of people who hit enter before we tell them to, or who have deleted massive amounts of data because they thought they were supposed to run a query before we gave them specific instructions. Don't be a hero, let us guide you.

- This might be a big problem for you, but it's not going to help if you call every 2 hours asking for a status update. If you want, send an email to check on the update, this way you have a trail in case the support tech is a total ass and is actually surfing the internet instead of working on your problem.

- Being nice goes a long way. I know you're frustrated, but we're really trying to help you out.

Hmm...that's all for right now.

Pictures from Ben's Cubs game coming later today!

Today we're taking Ben out to his first Cubs game! Watch out for us at the 1:20CT game...we'll be the ones holding the sign that says "My First Cubs Game!" in the stands on the left field side (not in the bleachers, in the terrace).

Pictures later!

Over the last couple weeks, every time I would see that day's date I would get a nagging feeling that there was a special occasion coming up, that there was a birthday that I needed to celebrate or something. I knew that Marilyn and Vern's birthday were on their way, but there was still that feeling that wouldn't go away...there was a special day coming and I didn't want to miss it. Yesterday night (well, actually early this morning) I was writing out some checks (yes, I still write checks) and I put in today's date, and it hit me like a brick. Today would have been my mother's 63rd birthday.

I felt a little bad that it took me so long to realize it, even though for weeks I had a feeling it was coming. Are memories of her starting to fade? Have I become so involved in my crazy little life that I had almost forgotten about her?

Nah, I still think about her constantly, I'm just horrible with birthdays. But I did feel a twinge of guilt. If she had still been alive and I had done this I would have been in big trouble because I'd be racing around to find a gift for her.

It's amazing how much our lives have changed since she's been gone. Babies have been born, people have gotten married, graduated from school, moving on with their lives. But all of us remember her in our own way, from promises we made to her on her deathbed left unfulfilled (you know who you are) to lighting a candle in her memory at a wedding...she's still a big part of our lives.

So happy birthday, Mommy, up there in heaven making Benjamin laugh and giggle when we aren't there...

...and before you mention it, yes, I, too, wondered what the hell is going on with that doll's legs. I have no idea!

I've got a new layout...I was getting a bit bored of the Yoga one so I decided to resurrect an old layout, but give it a nice update.

Sad thing is, I'm not really feeling it. I'll probably get a new one up in a couple weeks, I've got a lot of ideas buzzing in my head. But for now, I'll keep this one up since I put some time into it. I apologize for the really bright colors! If you're not feeling it either, there's 18 other layouts to choose from in the sidebar - check 'em out and see if there's one there you like!

OK, it's not really a ban on all liquids, but it is a ban on liquids bring brought on the plane as carry-on.

I'm a bit torn on this subject. Yes, it was horrible that they were plotting to bring liquid explosives on a plane. But now all liquids are banned on flights. But really, where does it stop? I have to take off my shoes whenever I go through security because some guy had a shoe bomb. Now I can't bring drinks on a plane because someone was planning on bringing a liquid bomb. What's next? I can't bring my laptop on because someone had a bomb in their laptop? I can't wear a bra because someone create a bra-bomb?

Some of you know that I used to travel a lot. I traveled less than a week after 9/11 and it was chaos at the airport, everyone was paranoid and the lines were neverending. But I was ok with that...the extra security was for my protection, and to tell the truth, it had been pretty bad before. It was good to see an extra boost in security. I didn't mind that I wasn't allowed to bring nailcutters on the plane.

Then the whole shoe-bomb fiasco. Lines got even longer as people would forget to take off their shoes, or they would stop to ask the security of their shoes were ok to leave on. I had to worry about what socks I was wearing, or make sure I was WEARING socks. Lines were jammed as people stopped to put their shoes back on.

Now it's liquids, and I'm happy I don't fly as much anymore, because that sucks. I had always traveled with a water bottle to hydrate me on the plane. You don't get a lot of water on the plane - all you get is a shot of water and that's about it unless you bug the flight attendant for more. The air is dry in a plane and I get sick if I don't hydrate myself.

Water isn't the only thing that isn't allowed on planes as carry on - "The ban on liquids and gels covered such things as shampoo, toothpaste, contact lens solution, perfume and water bottles." Well then...a nice weekend with a small suitcase brought as carry on will now have to be checked in and add another 1/2 an hour to your trip as you wait for your itty bitty bag in the baggage claim, since you can't bring your contact lens solution with you on the plane. Gah! Road warriors will revolt!

"The only exceptions were for baby formula and medications, which had to be presented for inspection at security checkpoints." This made me think...I had read somewhere that mothers had to drink some of the formula at checkpoints. What if it was breastmilk? (I haven't tried it yet...it just seems weird to me!)

Women were also forced to give up their lipgloss. Lipgloss! Oh the humanity! Damn you terrorists, you've taken away my right to have my 4 tubes of lipgloss with me on the plane!!!

But yes, I understand the need for more security. It just makes me wonder how far we will go, how much the airline industry will lose when people just don't want to deal with flying anymore. Dave and I were talking while watching the news, and he said, "See? You shouldn't travel anymore. It's dangerous out there." I replied with, "If we change our lives because we're scared of them, they win!" Because really, I'm going to keep on living my life and doing what I want to do. If I get caught up in something bad in the air, it was just my time, I'm not going to stop flying because I'm afraid of terrorists.

OK, rant over.

I don't even know why I'm complaining...it's going to be a while until I travel again for work!

News stories:
Liquid as Weapon? For Many, a Scary Thought
U.S. travelers adjusting to new rules
No toothpaste or lipstick but baby formula okay

So today I'm logged into a company meeting via a conference call and webmeeting. There's about 70 people logged into the call, not counting the people who are gathered in conference rooms at the main offices. When the meeting request was sent out, there was a note to make sure not to put your phone on hold while in the meeting, because then the people in the meeting would hear your hold music.

Of course, during the meeting someone puts their phone on hold, hold music comes on, and we can't hear anything. Luckily, the guilty party came back after about 10 seconds.

It was a pretty long meeting, with a few powerpoint slides and a lot of presentations. Pretty much everyone had their phones on mute, except for the presenters. Every now and then there'd be someone who forgot to put their phone on mute so we could hear them shuffling around, but the presenter (or another person in the meeting) would remind people to put on their mute.

2 hours into the meeting, I hear a noise on the phone. Was someone blowing their nose? The presenter kept on going. The noise came again, and it really sounded like someone was blowing their nose. After the 5th time, the presenter was silent. Then I could hear laughter from the room that the presenter was in. The sound kept on coming. Only until people started giggling did I realize what that loud, rhythmic sound was. The presenter said, "Hello? Are you giving me a hint? Am I boring you?"

IT WAS SNORING!

Someone fell asleep during the meeting and didn't have their phone on mute.

Too bad we couldn't figure out who it was. There was a lot of laughter, but as the snoring progressed, it got uncomfortable - there was no way we could hear the presenter with the snoring going on. It was getting annoying. So everyone was trying to devise a plan, maybe logging everyone off then reconnecting, and the snoring stopped.

Yes, they woke up. And boy, they're so lucky we don't know who they are!

I was on the train the other day, working on the next layout for yanowhatimean. As we neared the downtown station, the man sitting behind me tapped me on the back. I was thinking that he was going to remind me to take my train card from the seat, but actually he said to me, "Excuse me, do you freelance?"

You know, I've always wondered if other people on the train actually pay attention to what the other people are doing on their laptops. I admit to peeking everyone once in a while to see people working on documents, playing games, watching movies, etc. I never thought that people actually paid enough attention to actually consider working with them.

I don't know why, but I said, "No." and smiled, and turned around and kept on working on my site. I'm really not sure why I didn't say "Yes." since I could definitely use the extra money. Then again, maybe it's because I knew that I just didn't have time to pick up anything extra with all the stuff that I'm behind on in my list of things to do around the house (set up my old desktop for my in-laws, scan old pictures, work on wedding album, finish baptism thank you cards, etc) Even with all that going on, I was tempted to turn around again and say, "Well, what exactly do you have in mind?" Thinking back on it, I should have! I mean, the layout I was working on wasn't even good (yeah, the next one will be just OK, sorry folks!) I wonder what he would have thought if he saw me working on a layout which was actually good! He might have had something simple that I could have done easily. I love helping out people and working on layouts and graphics for sites (anyone need a skin for their site? or myspace? let me know!) but then again, I would have no idea what to charge the guy. Does anyone have any experience with this?

So ya, I think the next time someone asks (if that ever happens again), I'll definitely ask what they want before giving the quick brush off. It may be just the opportunity I'm looking for!

I am pooped from a pretty exhausting weekend. The comic convention was ok - I didn't have as good a time as I normally do since I was only there for one day and I felt really rushed to get to everything. I only got two sketches and didn't attend many panels. I still had fun, thanks to my partner in crime Fata and all the great people I met. More tomorrow...

Princess Leia Statue

More pics tomorrow!

Yesterday the Wizard World Comic Book Convention started. Normally Fatima and I go for the whole weekend (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun) but this year we're just going tomorrow. I don't have time that I can take off of work and I can't just abandon Benjamin for a weekend. I could take him with me, but I don't want to be the person stopping traffic at the convention because of my baby stroller. Maybe next year when he's walking and when I've finished his Batman costume I'll take him.

So I'm a little bummed that I'm going to only be there for a day. There's SO much I love doing at the convention, from getting sketches to going to the workshops to going to the awards night. I don't even know if I'll have time to hang out with people afterwards.

At least I'm going for a day...I'll definitely make the most of it!

The Best Work Family Anyone Could Ask for

I love this picture from Claudine and Dan's wedding - it's a picture of people who used to work for X-Systems as well as the people who are still at the new company, X-Inc. Even though it may have been a while since we've worked together, we're still close and sharing each other's life experiences. Why's Claudine in the pic? She actually answered phones for 4 hours when we had a company party and needed a temp.

Yesterday was the last day of one of my favorite coworkers, Tyson (he's the guy who looks like Jack Black in the photo above).

In my life, I've only met a handful of people who are genuinely nice, unselfish and all all-round "good" person, and Tyson is definitely one of them. He's always around to help and make life easier for other people. When I took over some of his training assignments when I was pregnant, he went out and arranged breakfast for the classe even though that job would have gone to me. He'll always take the time to answer questions, knows all the best places to eat, is the best tour guide of downtown Chicago, and you'd like him as soon as you meet him. Everyone who meets him never forgets him - that's how awesome he is. As a coworker, he is a great role model - smart, responsible, not afraid to speak for himself, and willing to help out his fellow coworkers. As a friend, he's always there and doesn't mind being the chip bitch at parties - that is, the guy who fries the chips at the annual cinco de mayo party.

I'm so sad that he's gone - he was definitely a ray of light in an otherwise dreary, empty office (there are now 8 of us left from X-Systems). He would always make us laugh and he was great at making people feel good about themselves.

So Tyson, I'll miss you!

I'm in the office all week for a mini conference with my group. We're going over all the new features in the latest version of the product and some in-depth meetings on some of the major functions. There's some cool new stuff in the new program and a lot of the problems in the last version have been taken care of.

That's nice and all, but there are times when I feel like I don't know what's going on.

See, you might recall that X-Company got bought out last year (after buying out my original X-Systems) so along with a ton of new faces to meet and company procedures to learn, I also had to learn a new product. I had some training when I was in Vegas at the beginning of the year, but a lot of my training was to come after that. Things just didn't work out because I had a lot of work to do with the old X-Company stuff (and some X-Systems stuff) and I didn't have the time to go out and go to an actual training class. Then I couldn't travel anymore so going to class in another city was out of the question.

So now I'm here. Most of my colleagues from X-Company that have come over and have gotten up to speed on the program, they're even going out and doing assignments. Me? I'm trying to see how much training I can do within our internal site and through the class training manuals. I feel so behind. Tons of different company procedures started while I was gone, too, so I've got to make sure that I'm going through all the red tape the right way. Thankfully we've got our conference in Chicago and there are other people in my group that I can ask questions of who are more than happy to help me.

It's a bit frustrating, especially when I don't want to put in the amount of extra hours (aka work=life) that I used to because I want to come home so badly to my little guy. But there are hurdles I need to eventually get over, to ensure my place in the company so I will be able to support my little bubblytoes.

I'm stressed!

Yesterday night I was actually watching the news as I was getting Benling ready for bed. Dave was on call so it was just the two of us in the house. I saw that there were a string of thunderstorms northwest of Chicago and the weatherman said they were pretty severe. I looked at the rain that was heading towards us and it didn't look too bad, and I had known that we were getting some rain.

At around 10:30, Ben was already asleep in his crib upstairs and I was getting ready to work on my Thank You cards from the baptism, getting out my paper cutter and photos. I was ready to be really productive because I want to get these things done before I lose interest in them. I started to hear some rumbling outside and saw some flashes of lightning. I had several lights on and the television, as well as the microwave because I was sterilizing some bottles. I was afraid I might overload a circuit or something, and I didn't even want to think about blowing a fuse and having to sit through the thunderstorm with no lights. I hate the dark. I can't be in complete darkness. It freaks me out. So I turned off all the extra lights, save for the kitchen light and light on the second floor, unplugged my laptop and closed it. I sat down at my kitchen table with my paper cutter ready and waiting and Ryan Seacrest on TV telling me what the latest celebrity news was.

Then all the lights turned off.

...and I sat in darkness.

Panic mode set in. There were no lights on! All I could see were flashes of lightning, which came frequently and cast a ghostly light inside my house at irregular intervals. I immediately reached for the first light source I knew of - my laptop. I flipped it open, logged in, and opened a new notepad document knowing that the white screen would shine brightly in the room. It was not as bright as I would have liked, but it was enough to stop me from completely freaking out. I then carried my laptop over to where I know the only flashlight in the house was - our hippo flashlight. Not too strong, since it's made for toddlers, but strong enough. Once I had my hippo flashlight in hand (it grunts and giggles whenever you turn it on, which in daylight is cute and makes me laugh, but in this situation was just a little creepy) I went over to where we have our candles. I got a couple and looked for matches. Of course, there weren't any. How could we not have matches? At least I was able to find the lighter we use for the grill.

I carried my things upstairs - hippo flashlight, laptop, candles and lighter. I went into Ben's room and set up camp. It took me a while to get the lighter going, during which time I contemplated finding some sticks and starting my own fire. Eventually I got the candles lit. I sat around in the near darkness with the thunder rumbling, the lightning flashing, and the sound of fire engine sirens blaring through the night. I looked out the window to confirm what I already knew - if this was just my house or if it was the whole neighborhood. The darkness of my neighbors homes as well as the storefronts across the street told me that I wasn't alone - and it also explained why I was in complete darkness when the power went out. Even when the lights are off in my house, there's still the streetlights that bring in some light into my home.

I tried to get to sleep, then I realized that the air wouldn't be turning on. I debated moving the baby down to the first floor, but I didn't want to wake him and I didn't want to risk falling down the stairs in the darkness, so we stayed on the second floor. I wondered how far this blackout reached - was it just my street? Was it farther? How long would it last?

I woke up several times during the night and still no power (I would have heard the TV blaring downstairs). The heat wasn't too bad, Benjamin tossed and turned just a little in his crib. I woke up at around dawn and couldn't get back to sleep again, so I just listed to Ben move around in his bed, trying to get adjusted. Finally when he started fussing in his sleep I woke him up and fed him, and he fell back into his slumber. There was still no power, so I had to take a shower by candlelight. After that I stayed on the first floor to wait for my father in law, since I wouldn't be able to hear him knocking upstairs. He usually comes in through the garage, but that wouldn't be working.

By the time I left for work, the power still wasn't on, so right now I'm worrying about a lot of things, like the food in the freezer, the fish tank, and most importantly, if the internet connection will be OK when the power comes back again. :-P

The Baptism went well...a bit hectic, but I think it went OK. More on that later once I get pictures and once people upload their copies on flickr. *cough* *cough* http://www.flickr.com/groups/benburrito/ *cough* You know who you are.

Anyway...

Today I got a slow start into work. I think I pulled a muscle in my arm, though I don't know from doing what, so I woke up pretty sore. I was going to catch a later train into work, then Benjamin woke up and I decided to feed him since I really didn't get much time with him yesterday. I headed out the door and got to the train station (to catch an even later train) only to find that the pay spaces were filled, so I had to drive to the police station to get a special pass. Luckily I had anticipated that happening and left home a little earlier. Then it turned out that the train was running 10 minutes late.

I was dying of thirst on the train, and visions of the Dunkin Donuts coffee coolatta danced in my head. I knew I'd be passing one on the way to the boat and I was really excited. I got off the train and headed to Dunkin Donuts, deciding to hang out there for a bit since I'd be really early for the boat and I didn't want to wait outside. When I headed into the concourse of the building that DD was in, I noticed a bunch of construction workers and fans with these big blue smelly cakes around. It smelled like those things you put in your toilet bowl to make them smell good. Then I saw a sign that said "This concourse will be closed until further noticed." WTF? I saw that there were still people milling around in there and I walked in, they must have been in the process of closing it. Maybe I was lucky and DD was still open.

Nope. I walked through the concourse as the workers were putting up plastic against the storefronts including my beloved Dunkin Donuts. It turned out that there was a fire in the concourse and they were checking things out. I was in a panic. I needed my coolatta fix!

I then remembered that there was another DD back in the train station, but I had to go all the way around the building because they had closed up the building behind me. I walked with my pump and heavy backpack back to the train station and got my coffee. I drank it like I had been in the desert for a month.

Since I was back by my train station, I decided to just take the bus to the office. I saw a huge line of families outside my stop, and realized that I was so late that the free trolleys were running to bring people around downtown to places like Navy Pier, the museum campus and Michigan Avenue. Oh wait, Michigan Ave! That's where I work! So I hopped on the free trolley and enjoyed the tour until they came to their stop right in front of my office building.

Now I'm here and all I really need to do today outside of some customer work that I could do at home is shop for the class I'm teaching this week. We don't do cool things like 'catering' so it's up to me to buy a breakfast spread for my students. Luckily there's a Jewel a couple blocks away!

Gah...I hate mondays!

I was dying of thirst

As I said in the last post, I was in the office for the first time last Wednesday. We were holed up in the conference room having a brainstorming session. We took a break and I decided that would be a good time to go pump some breastmilk.

I know I haven't gone over the whole breastfeeding experience yet (but believe me, Aquaman, I will!) but if you go for a while without breastfeeding, milk builds up and it starts to hurt. So what the working woman does is get a breastpump so she can a) relieve herself of that "full of milk" pain and b) store up breastmilk so her baby can have a meal while she's gone. So not only do I have to lug around my super huge backpack, I also have to carry around my pumping equipment. Lucky for me, the makers of this equipment realize that and have made it all fit into a manageable, discreet bag.

I went into the bathroom and plugged in my battery pack. I couldn't use the outlet because it was too far from the stall, and I didn't want to stand by the sinks and pump and surprise anyone that came into the bathroom. I started pumping and realized that either my batteries were running low or the pump just had less suction when it was using batteries. It was taking FOREVER. I decided to just go back into the office and use one of the empty offices to pump so I could plug it in.

I stopped by the conference room to tell the guys that I was going to be in one of the offices, so they knew not to walk in on me. The convo went like this:

Me: Hey guys, I'm going to be in the office for a couple minutes, I need to plug this in there
Tony: You don't have to do that, you can just plug it in here (pointing to power strip)
Me: Um, this is my breastpump
Tony: Oh! Wow, uh, yeah, go ahead, go into the office. I thought you were talking about your laptop! Yeah, go pump in the office!

Haha...I love working with guys.

Yesterday I had to go into the office to do some work, so it was my first official workday without Benny-Bop. I packed up my laptop and breastpump and headed out for the day, of course first giving my little burrito a kiss and squeeze before I left.

I realize that I really miss working downtown. Wait, scratch that - I really mis GOING downtown. The city is so alive, especially in the summertime. I took the river taxi instead of the shuttle bus (since the CTA made fare hikes, taking the boat is actually cheaper now) and it was such a lovely ride down the Chicago River. That is, til I got to the Michigan stop which smelled heavily of dead fish. I looked around to see if there was maybe a mass grave of dead fish, but no. it was a smell with no source.

There aren't too many people left in the office, so it can kinda get depressing, but I spent most of my time holed up in the conference room with some of the other guys, so it wasn't too bad. We had Star of Siam for lunch and it was so GOOD! Though I still love the pad thai at Addison Thai - there's is the best around!

I went for a walk during my "break", which I used for shopping, something I rarely do anymore. I love walking down Michigan Avenue, seeing tourists wander by and people of all backgrounds. There's a bunch of street vendors now, selling balloons in funny shapes, playing all sorts of instruments and adding to the awesomeness of the avenue. I ended up at H&M and found some great stuff for next to nothing that fit my "big boned" self quite well...I've gotta start shopping there more! I also found some really cute stuff for Benjamin. I'll post up this at I bought him, he looks SO adorable in it!

But as much as I enjoyed my day downtown, I missed my baby terribly. I had to restrain myself from calling home every hour just to hear his wee little voice. I didn't want to call and nag my F-I-L to make sure that Ben was getting enough tummy time, or that he should give him rattles to play with, or not to let him sleep on his stomach. My F-I-L has taken care of him many times before, he wasn't going to forget just because I'm at the office.

I'm working from home today, so I make sure to take breaks and play with my little booger when I can, because tomorrow I'm back in the office!

Yesterday I started working again. My three month vacation slash baby love fest was over.

I'm lucky, though, because I get to work from home, only going into the office when I need to. Because really, there's only two guys left in the office and it just isn't as fun anymore. But I'll get to that another day.

I get to work from home which means I don't have to wake up early for a commute, I can work in my pajamas, and I can cook my own lunch.

Who's taking care of letting Bento Box? My father-in-law. He retired last week and he's been awesome enough to volunteer to come over and take care of my little one. I know Ben's in good hands because Dave's dad is great with him. That's who Benjamin got his name from, after all.

I know I'm really lucky to have family who can take care of Benjamin. I've looked at the costs of daycare and it's really scary. You'd need to get a second job just to pay for it. Not only that, but your work schedule is based on when you can drop off you child at daycare, and when you need to pick them up to avoid having to pay extra because you're late. I admit to being a work-a-holic, and that my best work is done after hours rather than during the day. I give a lot of respect to parents who have to do the whole daycare routine - I know it's a lot of work!

Before I had Ben when I'd work at home I'd just work in the kitchen and put on the Today show or whatever was on the E! network. Sometimes I'd work on the couch, especially when I was pregnant and needed to put my feet up. I liked having the noise of the TV in the background while I work - working in silence makes me nervous.

Now, I'm holed up in the office which before today was only used by Dave when he studied for his various doctor tests. I've got some MP3s playing, but it's not the same as E! True Hollywood Story. Although I have the door closed, I can still hear Benjamin shouting and doing his baby speech downstairs. I have to restrain myself from running down there to play with him. Dave's dad has a lot of activities planned for their time together, like walks in the neighborhood, around the mall, and helping him garden at his place. That will help so I don't hear him and want to run to him and hug him and squeeze him until he pops. Not Dave's dad...Benjamin!

Now I've got ten gazillion emails to catch up with and I need to get up to speed on the stuff that I was supposed to months ago. My brain is going to explode this month!

But at 5pm, every day, I'm off the clock and back to my baby boy!

Hope everyone had a good 4th of July yesterday!

We headed out to Melanie's place for a good ole' family get together. My dad was at the grill, the titos and titas were playing mah-jong, the kids were sitting around the table chilling out and there was something new this year - babies running all around! There was a baby boom in the last year, with the latest baby being Maui and Jane's little Jacob, who was born a couple weeks ago.

It's great to know that Benblebee will have cousins around his age to play with and grow up with. One of the best things growing up was having so many cousins near my age, with Melanie being a mere 6 months older. That's why the cousins are so close - even though we all aren't really cousins.

Since there's a whole bunch of new babies around, we decided to take a picture of our kids, who have the perfect differences in ages - just enough to hand down clothes with Chariya's baby Ayden at the top of the baby chain:

X-Large (17 months) - Ayden and Mama Chariya
Large (10 months) - Kenzo and Mama Trully
Medium (3 months) - Benjamin and Mama Christine
Small (2 weeks) - Jacob and Mama Jane

Of course, there's also big Jillian who will rule all these boys when they get older, and I know she's never going to have to lift a finger because these little boys will do everything for her. She is the queen and they are her court!

Later on we played some poker, which I haven't done in a LONG time. Fatima was watching Benjamin because Dave was studying. I was on a winning streak when Fatima told me Benjamin was really hungry. I didn't have anyone who could take over for me, and I didn't want to end the game, so I decided to just feed Ben at the table. Poor Jerome, I think I might have traumatized him - but I did have a blanket over me! However, I'm sure those sucking and smacking sounds got a little distracting. I found it hilarious, though! BTW - I made it all the way to the final two, but didn't win the whole thing. Jerome FINALLY beat me at poker!

There were so many fireworks going off in the neighborhood that night. When we went to my dad's place to go get Dave (who was studying there because it was quieter there) I was so scared that the loud firecrackers would scare Benjamin, but Fatima covered his ears. I never realized how scary and loud they could be! I need to get some earmuffs for that kid.

Hope you all had a happy and safe holiday!

The post-pregnancy phenomenon I've been dreading is starting, something that I thought I might be able to avoid - hair loss.

See, when you're pregnant, the hormones that are produced make your hair all beautiful and shiny, and it rarely falls out. I don't really remember my hair getting exactly shiny, but then again, it was already pretty healthy. That is, the parts I didn't burn off with all my dyeing and bleaching.

My friends had warned me that it would happen - that clumps of my hair would come out in the shower and freak me out. That it would seem like hair was everywhere...

But I never expected it to be like this! Since I only got one haircut during my pregnancy, my hair is REALLY long. So when I'm in the shower, it looks as if all my hair is falling out. I run my hands through my hair and it comes back looking l ike I've turned into the wolf girl. I collect a clump of hair the size of a baseball. The floor in the bathroom is covered with hair by the time I'm done combing it.

I've taken to keeping my hair in a bun on top of my head because Benjamin likes to grab at it, so I don't really see the hair throughout the day. But every once in a while I'll see my poor baby's fingers tangled up in one of my hairs and I feel so bad! My hair is attacking my baby!

Luckily, I've got a lot of hair, I'm not really worried about getting bald or anything.

So all you mothers out there - when does this stop?

I gained about 50lbs when I was pregnant with Be-bop. The doctor said I should have only gained 35, but hey, I found pregnancy as a free pass to eat everything I wanted to.

So now I'm paying for it. After having Ben I lost about 10lbs, and found that the next 15lbs melted away easily. I thought that losing my pregnancy weight would be a breeze. But then it stalled after about 25lbs. I had to actually watch what I was eating, yet eat enough to make sure I had the nutrients for breastfeeding. Of course, that's easier said than done. It was hard for me to get out of my pregnant eating habits.

I was able to lose another 10lbs in the last two months which in most cases is great, but I'm still 15lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Which was actually 15lbs over my target weight. So I'm 30lbs away from my goal. I was already overweight when I got pregnant so I'd love to lose that weight, too.

So I am now on a mission. I'm not going to go on a crazy diet or anything, but I'm definitely going to up my exercise - scratch that - I'm going to START exercising. That, and cutting back on the sweets and fatty foods. Maybe have a salad here and there. I'm not going to buy new clothes, either, to fit my 4 sizes larger body. Being stuck wearing my old maternity pants, t-shirts and long skirts is going to push me to get rid of this extra weight faster.

I know it's not going to be an easy journey, and the weight isn't going to fall off as quickly as it did the first several weeks after I had Ben. But I've gotta start somewhere. With the horrible family medical history I have I really need to start watching myself. Diabetes is just around the corner, I'm at a higher risk for breast cancer because my mom had it...

Wish me luck!

Dave, Ben and I went over to the banquet hall today to hand in our deposit for Bendito's baptism extravaganza. We're having it at the same place where Claudine's wedding was at, so at least my half of the family will be familiar with the place.

I didn't realize we'd have to make so many decisions once we got there. I had aleady printed out their online menu and chose all the food we wanted for the reception, and I thought that was all that was needed to be done. However, when we met with the planner (who was super sweet and adored Ben) she had a whole checklist of questions to ask, from what color of napkins to be used (blue) to whether or not we wanted to have soft music piped into the room during the meal (yes). I really hadn't thought about a lot of those things, so when she asked I was like, "Um, uh..." and I'd look at Dave, who just had a blank look on his face and who would just shrug and say, "I dunno, whatever you want..." So I just made some on the spot decisions. I mean, it won't be a disaster if I have tables of 10 and there's a group that wants *gasp* 11 people at their table, right?

I was pretty busy last weekend making up some last minute invitations for people I was told that *forgot* to put on the list. Of course, how could I forget to put them on the list if I don't know who they are? Whatever, a dozen more people were added to an already too long list of people invited to the baptism reception. I have made my intentions loud and clear that next year, for Ben's first birthday, I will be making the invite list and it will be a MUCH smaller event.

So most of the invitations have been sent out, the arrangements for the banquet have been made and the baptism classes have been attended. I think I'm set. All I have to do is sit around and wait for the RSVP's to come in.

So if you got an invite (they should be coming this week), you better call and RSVP people. I know you all read this!

So last Sunday I was heading over to my Dad's place for the day-after wedding party. Since it was Father's day, I decided to get an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. I stopped by the store by my place with little BenBen in tow and headed over to the cake freezer. I saw a wide variety of ice cream cakes, but none of them had any "Happy Father's Day" wording on them. So I picked out a nice cake with a cool blue border and brought it to the counter.

"Hi, can I get "Happy Father's Day" written on this cake?" I asked the guy at the counter.

The guy then started to look around behind him, in a bit of a panic. "Um, the lady who does the writing on the cakes has left for the day." He looked behind him again, and made eye contact with another guy who was working the drive thru who shrugged his shoulders. "I can do it for you, but I've never done it before. I don't think it'll be good." I looked around the store and it was just a bunch of guys. I doubted that any of them had good handwriting.

"I can just do it myself, just give me the icing. I've done it before..."

He looked at me with some relief and said, "Sure!" He went to the back and came back with a icing bag. I stood there thinking how I was going to amaze them with my cake decorating skills. My mother used to back cakes and decorate them all the time when I was a kid and I'd often help her, so how hard could it be to decorate an ice cream cake? These guys were in for a treat!

So I took the icing bag in my hands and started writing. The icing was very hard and not the buttercream icing I was used to. Also, the guys in the store, who had nothing better to do, gathered around and were watching intently. My hands were shaking. My letters were wobbly. After the word "Happy" my arm was already tired. There was no way I was going to make it through the whole thing! I looked to Ben, who was sitting in his carseat that I had placed on the floor for some strength and inspiration. No good. I decided to just put "Daddy Day" because I was late and my arm couldn't take anymore. The icing was still hard and I couldn't keep a smooth line. I was a failure!

I finally finished up and got out of there, ready to present my ice cream cake with shame to my family. They were all kind and didn't laugh too hard. Luckily, it was so hot that the cake was melting so it had to get eaten quickly. I didn't even have time to take a picture of my handiwork, but I've provided a sample of what it looked like.

I thought I was a master cake decorator.

I'm not!

*cries*

Tomorrow is Claudine's wedding to Redpac, and I'm the matron of honor. I really have no idea what the "of honor" duties are, other than fixing up the bride's dress during the ceremony and planning the bachelorette party. So I've been trying to help here and there where I can. I thought I'd have a lot of time since I'm on maternity leave, but I never realized how much of my attention my little booger needs.

But I've been able to help out a bit, even though Claudine is the type that likes to do everything so it's under her control. I know she's been stressed out a lot by the wedding and other little quibbles surrounding it, so I've tried to de-stress her as much as I can. I remember when I got married and had my one breakdown the week of the wedding (who knew doing a seating chart could be so stressful?) and I don't want Claudine do go through that. However, it seems that every bride must get to that point at some time before the wedding, it's almost like a rite of passage - get so stressed you want to pull your hair out, then you get the best day of your life.

I truly want her to have the best day of her life, just like my wedding day was for me (before the birth of BenBen that is). So tonight I'll make my little checklist of emergency things to bring - safety pins, stain remover, hair spray, bobby pins, breath mints, flask of alcohol - you know, the essentials. It's good I share the "in honor" duties with Fata, the maid of honor. Then she can cram crap in her purse, too.

Of course, I've got to write a speech for the reception, too.

But I'm not worried about that - all I need are a couple keywords written onto my palm and I should be good to go. Anyone who knew me in college knows that I'm a master of speeches. It will be a masterpiece! There will be laughs, there will be tears, there will be eyes rolling, and maybe, just maybe, a standing ovation! OK, maybe not the last part. Maybe just a tear and giggle.

Hopefully I'll have some pics posted of the rehearsal dinner tonight...

Many thanks to Tara, who sent me these wonderful layouts she did with some of the pictures that I (and Melanie) had posted. It was so sweet of her to do! (click for a larger size)

I have tons of scrapbooking supplies. The paper, specialty scissors, cutting mats, swivel cutters and templates, stickers, albums, etc. But I have yet to complete a whole scrapbook. To tell the truth, I have no idea where all my scrapbook stuff is since I moved in here. I've always been pushing back making a scrapbook, though this year I really want to make an effort and do something crafty. Why? Because everyone else is!

I adore getting hand made cards in the made by my wonderful crafty friends. But it gives me a little bit of craft envy - I can be crafty, too!

So I'm working on my first big scrapbooking project - a father's day present for my dad and Dave's dad containing a bunch of pictures of Benjamin. Since I'm too lazy to look for my supplies, I just bought a kit that already had the papers cut and I have to do is cut my pictures to fit, design the layout and glue everything. Maybe I'll take some pictures so y'all can see my handiwork.

So anyway, thanks again to Tara, and thanks to my crafty friends for inspiring me to be creative again!

Last weekend we had Claudine's bachelorette party. She's not into strippers or anything too rowdy, so she said no to naked men. However, I wanted to have scantily dressed men as part of her last night out, so we decided to start off at "The Baton Show Lounge", where they have some of the best female impersonators in the city.

I haven't been there in the longest time (and really don't remember much of the other times I was there because I spent a lot of my time puking in the bathroom) but it was as fun as the first time I was there. The men are GORGEOUS and made me feel like a lump of coal. These men knew how to act like a woman - how to move the hips, how to bat their eyes, and how to keep a whole room under their spell. We were amazed. One of them did Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" and he was amazing. I don't think I've moved my hips like that EVER. We had a great time!

Afterwards, we hit the bars on Division. Since Claudine is usually the first one to tire out when we're out partying, Fatima decided to start her off with a red bull and vodka. That powered her up for the whole night - she was like a little energizer bunny! I've never seen her so energetic. We had a lot of fun, though unfortunately I can't tell you what we did. *wink* Let's just say that Claudine's date, the Ken doll, had more fun than a piece of plastic should ever have.

Thanks to all the ladies that came out! It was a ball!

Check out Melanie's pics here - the clean ones, anyway...

We were at church today, and I was doing my usual "space out during the mass" when I heard a "THUD!" come from the front of the church and the whole congregation let out a collective gasp. I saw a couple of the alter servers huddled near the altar, and then the priest said, "It seems like we have a medical problem up here. If there is anyone out there who is part of the medical profession, can you please come up and see if you can help? There's no need to panic, everyone, it's a hot day and on warm days things like this are common." Then he went on with mass like nothing happened.

Dave went up to the front of the church, as did several other people. It turns out that one of the young altar servers fainted. It was a hot day and Dave said it was especially hot in the front of the church. The doctors who came up checked on the girl and she came around and was wheeled out on a wheelchair and into the ambulance that came. Of course, the people in the congregation were only half listening to the priest and trying to see what was going on with the girl.

I've been waiting for this day to happen, the day when someone cries out, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Dave would stand up and proudly say, "Why yes, I'm a doctor" and save the day. It was a bit different from what I expected, and Dave wasn't the only doctor who helped, but it was cool nonetheless.

I'm still waiting for the day when someone yells out, "Is there a Crystal Report writer in the house?", "I need someone who knows how to construct a SQL query!" or "Is there anyone out there who is handy with HTML or CSS?" I'd come out with my supergeek cape flying, and yes, it would be glorious!

Today's my birthday! Whee!!!

My Birthday Biscocho Boracho from '02

Life has been so crazy that I almost forgot. My husband keeps on asking me what I want for my birthday and I have no idea what I want or need, I seem to be OK with all my possessions right now.

Yesterday, I had a pre-birthday treat - we went out to the first movie we've been to in a LONG time - The Davinci Code. It was good, but the book was better. I still can't picture Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon!

Bye, I've got a busy day!

Happy Mothers Day to all the mommies out there, and I know there theres a good amount of mommies reading this site!

Mother's Day has been really been tough for me ever since my mother died. It's a day that the sadness I feel on a daily basis gets amplfied and I fall into an little funk, remembering my mother and all she meant to me, feeling the pain of knowing that she's gone. Sure, I remember the good times and what an amazing person that she was, but in the end it turns bittersweet.

Today is a bit different, since it's my first mother's day! I don't know how long I've waited to celebrate this day as a mother, to go from giving the cards to getting them. Benjamin gave me the sweetest present (via his papa, of course) - a locket with "Mommy" engraved on it where I can keep his picture close to my heart. I cried when I saw it, it's such an awesome present.

Of course, I still think about my mother. When I was pregnant, the thing that would get me the most emotional was thinking about my mother and how much I wanted her to be here for me and my baby. Now that Benjamin is born, I often find myself wondering what it would be like if she was here. There are so many questions that I have about my own upbringing, to ask her about her own experiences raising me and my sisters, what her advice would be, and so much more. I wonder how she would be with my baby, though I know she would spoil him horribly and shower him with tons of affection and talk nonstop to him in baby-talk. I even know what she would say to him, "Benjamin, Lola (grandmother) loves you very much! Also, your mommy is crazy but I know she loves you, too." She loved to call me crazy. Then she would turn to me and ask me a million things about my baby and if I'm taking care of him in the right way and I'd get "yes. yes. yes...." and eventually tune her out. But I would smile and have happy feelings watching her with Benjamin, as I do watching my sisters play with him and my father hold him in his arms, staring lovingly at him and stroking his hair. She would stand and rock him in her arms, singing to him the songs that were sung to me and my sisters when we were babies...

They say that as much as you try, even if you swear not to, eventually you end up like your parents. I know that when I was a kid my mother was far from the person that I wanted to be because she wasn't 'cool' - she was strict and when we said, "So and so's parents let her do this..." she would return with, "Well, I'm your parent, so you have to do what I say..." It was only when I became older did I realize that the values my parents instilled in me made me a stronger and happier person. Not everything was handed to me on a silver platter and I've had to work for a lot. At first, I resented that, but now I realize that I appreciate the things I've worked for so much more.

But I'm going off on a tangent.

Happy mother's day to you all. If you're a mother, enjoy your day. It may not feel like your kids appreciate you right now, but believe me, one day they will. Hopefully they tell you that. If you have a mother, make sure to tell her how much you love her and how much you appreaciate all she's done for you.

So to end this post, I'll post up a pic of me and my mom when we were in the hospital after I was born, and 30+ years later with me and Benjamin (I stole the pic from Melanie)

I was at the pharmacy the other day to pick up some stuff for Benbo. I came up to the register and there was a little Filipino lady there. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She must have had pretty good Filipino radar because she immediately started talking to me in Tagalog. [Tagalog is the national language of the Philippines] It took me a minute to realize what she was doing, then another couple seconds to figure out what she said. "Is this your first baby?" is what she had asked me. I looked over at Benjamin chilling out in his carseat which we put in the cart, and replied, "Yes, he's our first," in English.

Unlike most other children of immigrant families, most Filipinos that I know don't know a lot of their parent's language. Maybe enough to understand it, but rarely can they speak it well enough to have a good conversation. This is probably because English is so widely spoken in the Philippines (I don't remember American shows being dubbed in Tagalog when I was there). So I grew up not knowing how to speak my parent's language, but knowing enough to understand it. Most of the practice I had was watching Filipino movies on video with my family. My parents didn't even speak to us in the national language - they spoke to us in their local dialect, which was very different from Tagalog (the Philippines has many different dialects). Right now I'd say my understanding of Tagalog is good enough for me to eavesdrop on my aunts and uncles when they're talking to each other and they don't think that I can understand them.

But I don't remember the last time that someone outside of a grandaunt had tried to engage me in conversation using Tagalog.

So this salesclerk was speaking to me, asking me how old my baby was, what his name was, etc, and I had such a hard time trying to understand her, but I was doing my best. I replied back in English, and I don't think she got it that I was hardly getting anything of what she was saying. I felt so ashamed that I didn't know more Tagalog, she was so excited to talk to a customer that understood her native language.

I need to find some learn-at-home videos or something!

Conan O'Brien is my favorite late night talk show hands down, and he's in Chicago for the week. I signed up for tickets because I'd LOVE to see him live, but I can't go because I can't leave my baby for the amount of time it would take.

So anyone want my tickets? It's for the Thursday taping, and you need to get to the Chicago Theater no later than 3:15pm (lines will probably form earlier than that). There's more tickets than seats, so seats are given on a first come basis, so you'll need to get there early.

Comment here if you're in Chicago and you're interested!

...and check out the Conan O'Brien show this week - he's in Chicago and it should be hilarious!

My poor blog has been so neglected lately! I've got several projects that I've been working on near completion (the baby announcements and setting up the computer room, a task that I left unfinished because I gave birth) so I'll have more time to post. More time, but not a lot of time!

I remember my cousin telling me that after she had her baby, she had NO time at all. The baby needed so much attention that she hardly even had time to wash the dishes - it would take her two hours to finish them because she kept on getting interrupted!

I came to expect that when I had my little booger, though it wasn't too bad the first couple weeks since I had help from people staying over. But in those first couple weeks, I thought that this whole baby thing wasn't too bad. Benjamin would eat for about 15 minutes, then go to sleep for 2-3 hours, leaving me a lot of free time to work on other things. Not too bad at all, this baby thing would be easy!

Boy, was I wrong!

Once he turned 3 weeks things changed. He ate more often and longer, and had periods of wakefulness that he didn't have the first couple weeks. He'd be awake for hours and I'd have to figure out when he wanted, whether it was being fed, changed, or just held and talked to. I'd sit down to eat, take a couple bites, and then I'd hear the oh so familiar hunger cry, having to leave to feed him and come back to a cold dinner.

That's what I get for thinking that this was going to be a walk in the park!

But I'm not complaining, (too much, anyway) I love spending time with my baby and although I may get cranky at 7 in the morning when he's woken up for the 3rd time after initially falling asleep at 4am, I still love this little guy.

With that, I must go. His little baby-talons are scratching at my arms and he's looking at me as if to say, "HEY MOMMY! YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!"

Ciao!

Gas prices are CRAZY right now! Currently regular gas is $2.97 a gallon at the place down the street, and that's prettu cheap compared to other places I've heard. I haven't had much of a chance to keep up with the news, all I know is that gas prices are soaring and that the gas companies are going to be making record profits this quarter. Can someone enlighten me - why are the gas prices so high and why aren't people making more of a stink about the fact that someone is really profiting from it?

Since I'm basically on house arrest for the next 2 1/2 months (fine, it's called 'taking care of the baby') I guess I should count myself lucky. The doc said I can't even get behind the wheel until my 6 week checkup, though I'm not sure why - I'm walking around the house, climbing stairs with no problem. But not having to go to work is a good thing - I'm saving some money with the commute!

They did a test on the news the other day, seeing how much it costs driving into the city vs. taking the train (which is what I normally do). Currently, it's $8 round trip to get into the city from the west suburbs (where I am) on the train. Before the gas hike, it took $9 of gas to drive roundtrip into the city - that's not counting parking. Currently, it's up to $12 to do the same trip. Isn't that crazy?

Hopefully the prices go down before I'm done with my maternity leave, it scares me to think that it costs $40 to fill up my tank...

I've been spending a good amount of cash on my DSL internet access. I signed up for Comcast cable internet right before I gave birth. I had tried setting it up in my home office (well, Dave's, since my 'home office' is actually on the living room couch). I didn't go for the $49.95 technician service and opted to install it on my own. I almost did it, except the cable line in the office ended up not being active. I scheduled for a Comcast rep to come in and fix it up, which I had to reschedule for this week since I was in the hospital.

The tech was a great guy and did everything he could to fix the cable jack. He lugged his huge ladder up onto my second floor, went into my creepy attic, ventured into my horribly scary walk-in closet (its a MESS), move around my furniture and lots of other things to figure out the problem with the jack. Unfortunately, he couldn't fix it, but he said that we could have someone route a new wire in there, which would involve drilling into the wall.

It seemed like a lot of trouble just to get cable internet going on, so I searched the web for more options.

Turns out that SBC, my local internet provider, merged with AT&T. I checked out their current internet prices, and it's $15 less than what I'm paying right now. So I called in and explained that I'm paying the old rate and that the new rate was significantly cheaper. The person on the phone told me that she could switch me over to the new service with no problem, and that there was actually a deal that was $20 less for a year, then would switch over to the $15 less after that year was over.

So I will be saving $20 a month with this deal - that should be good for a pack of diapers, right?

Just an FYI, I'm still alive and kicking, as are my husband and baby.

My prediction that motherhood would be a walk in the park and I'd have tons of free time was pretty wrong. How could someone so small take up so much of my time? Not that I mind...he's so awesome and I can look at him for hours. I didn't get the shakes, neck ticks, cold sweats or itches that I thought I would without more than an hour of internet time a day. Truthfully, I've only been on the 'net about 5 times since the baby was born, each time for a quick look at email and favorite sites...

I'm installing photoshop right now and other necessities, so hopefully I'll have some great pics up for you all...and of course, some good stories!!!

As some of you may know, I had eye surgery a couple years ago on a detached retina. The eye is doing ok, but it hasn't quite healed yet (the doctor said it may take several years to get to the way it was before the surgery). I had gotten glasses to wear right after the surgery which were made according to my old prescription. After two years, I still can't see that well out of them. It's not a big deal since I wear my contacts all the time anyway, but I've been thinking that once the baby is born I'm really not going to want to bother with my contacts much.

So I had a choice to make - get new glasses, or use my old ones which I can see OK out of, but I wouldn't go on a long drive with them on. Oh, and Dave has commandeered my old ones which are coincidentally very close to his prescription. This makes me laugh, because there's little rhinestones on the side of the glasses and they're a bit retro, but that doesn't seem to bother Dave.

I've got a vision plan with work, but I recall that when I got my last pair I had to pay a LOT extra for the frames and the lenses. My eyes are pretty bad (over 8) so they need to do a lot of special things to the lenses to make them lightweight because using glass would squoosh my already very squooshed nose.

Speaking of squooshed noses - last week, when I was helping clean my crap out of my dad's place, I found all my old sets of glasses. I wanted to keep them but Claudine the Lion-Heart said that I should donate them for people who can't afford their own glasses. Fine, they can have them. I just don't want to hear some inner-city kid crying to his mama saying, "Who the hell would get these huge frames with PINK TINTED LENSES!!?!?!?! I feel like a FREAK!"

Yeah, they do look a bit dorky. I apologize to anyone out there who gets my old glasses. If you think the glasses look funny on my face now, imagine the superfreak that I was when I was in 6th grade (actually, I think they may be different frames):

Yeah, you can tell that the boys were lining up to get dates with me!

Sadly, all my glasses were more or less that style until I was a sophomore in highschool and the doctor made me get contacts to decrease the damage done to my eye.

So anyway, I decided to go get new glasses. I was at the eye doctor and we were going through the steps and everything and he remarked that yes, my eyes are really crappy. "Am I legally blind?" I asked...and he said, "Can you see without your glasses on? What is that on the wall?" I looked at the light on the wall and said, "Well, I know it's a big fat E because if I squint really hard I can see it, but other than that, its just a smudge on the wall." "Well," he said, "You can go ahead and say you're blind."

We ran through a couple lenses to figure out how bad my eyes are now (which turned out to be -8.75 and -9.25) which is always fun. I love seeing it blurry with one else and then he switches it to lens 2 and it's so much clearer. Then he switches to another lens and it's even clearer than that. It goes on and on til I can't tell the difference anymore.

He also did this weird test that I haven't done before where he put a card with a plus sign on it that was made of several lines right in front of my line of vision. He then said, "You're getting double vision now, right?"

"Um, no, there's just one cross."

"You sure there's not two?"

"Nope, just one."

He then told me to close my eyes, did an adjustment, and told me to open again.

"Do you see double now?"

"Nope." Another adjustment.

"Now?"

"Oh, I did for a second, but then my eyes adjusted and there's just one now."

The doctor looked at me confused and wrote a couple things down. He asked me if I had a wandering eye and I said no, but that I was a little cross eyed when I was a kid, but that happened to a lot of kids, right? (I'm really sensitive about being cross-eyed) He didn't answer because he was jotting notes down. He then had me look at the wall where an image was projected.

"Do you see two flowers there?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, happy that his little trick was working for me now. I then told him when the flowers were one over the other, and then when they merged into one. I was proud that I finally passed the test. He wrote some stuff down.

He then proceeded to take the plus sign card and put it in front of the lens - "Do you see doube now?"

"Nope!" Oh boo, its still not working.

He then told me that since I was pregnant my eyes might be making these extra adjustments that they shouldn't, and that we'd do the check again once the baby's born.

We then picked out some lenses - at this point I really don't care what they look like since I wear contacts all the time anyway, but we managed to find a pair that looks similar to the ones that Dave stole from me. Surprisingly, I only had to pay $35 for everything rather than the $250+ that I had to spend the last time on "special lenses" which I realize now was probably a load of crap.

So I'm excited to get my new glasses next week, I'll definitely post pictures. I hope that I'll be able to see double after the baby's born, though I don't really know who would want to!

I was on my honeymoon about 2 years ago in Maui, Hawaii, and I've just dug up the tapes of the whale watching we did. The weather was pretty bad the first couple days we were there so we had to do a lot of switching around of our schedule. But we were able to get some whale watching trips in, which was pretty awesome. It seemed like whales were everywhere! Today I'm sharing a video I took during one of our tours where a mother whale and her calf passed directly underneath our boat (boats have to turn off their motors if a whale is a certain distance from the boat). It was amazing to see these huge animals underneath us - the video doesn't really give you a good perspective on how massive the mother and her calf were! It was truly one of the most memorable days of my life...

Sorry for my shoddy video work - this is what it's like to be on a whale watch - you're standing around, looking at the horizon, waiting for a whale to breach and by the time you realize it, your camera is too late to get a good shot. But I managed to get a couple good ones in!

Enjoy!

I had my work baby shower the other day, (I know what you're thinking, "How many showers is this girl gonna have?!?) and it was a little reunion of my current coworkers, a lot of who work at home and my ex-coworkers.

Things have changed so much since we were bought out by Company X two years ago (we were then bought by X-Inc last year). We were a little company of only about 35 people, but of those 35 most of the people had been there more than 4 years. We had all been through so much together, good times and bad. Nights out drinking and sharing moments like weddings and baby births. We never realized how great we had it until we got bought by bigger companies.

It was nice to get together again, to sit and reminisce about the good 'ol days. We truly were a family back then. When most people wouldn't want to see their coworkers on weekends during their free time, we'd all hang out and party together or go to hockey games together. Sure, there were problems in the officeplace like there are in any office, but we were a support group for each other. We shared what was new with each other, talking about who was in jail for check forgery, who's out in Qatar doing who knows what, and who is still hiding a secret marriage (come on guys, we ALL knew about it, and we're happy for you!)

I really miss those times when I'm sitting in the office, with only Johnny and Don to entertain men. That's about all that's left in the office nowadays. Sometimes Tyson will come in and Dan, when he's not doing secret consulting assignments. I guess that's why I like working at home a lot - there's nothing much for me at the office, just a reminder of how it used to be. Of course, it's always nice to come in to have the company at work, even if it is those two knuckleheads. (Just kidding, guys)

It's much harder to get that feeling of community and family in a bigger company, especially one where everyone is working from home and rarely has time or wants to get together. There are only a handful of people I feel I've gotten close to at Company X, and really no one who I've formed a bond with at X-Inc - I never see anyone from there. It's such a different environment it makes me ache for the way it used to be.

But that's the way it is now, as much as I'm resistant to change, that's what I have to do to survive.

Thanks so much for the lunch shower ex-X-Systems people (and current coworkers). And to those of you who missed it - Tony, Amy, Kristin, Vlad, Syed, Sammy, Sam, Mary Jane, Cindy, Jerry, Bryan, Dave, Felicia, etc, I missed you terribly. To the members of my new family (yet old now) from Company X - Mardi, Gary, Margaret, and Carole - thanks also...

Ahh, remember long ago when I first got my Dell laptop for work? I was so excited that it booted up so fast, that there was so much hard drive space on it, that there was tons of memory...

Well, time changes those feelings...and yes, although this laptop has been good to me and has traveled around the whole country with me, I'm feeling a bit frustrated with him now. Frustrated, and a bit sad.

Why?

Because he's dying.

Slowly, but he's dying nonetheless.

Looks like there is an existing problem with the motherboard where it stops recognizing the AC adapter being plugged in, which then does not allow the battery to be charged. It only recognizes the adapter when it feels like it. So I'm constantly wondering how long my power supply will last. Also, it stops recognizing my USB mouse. I have to unplug it and plug it back in again. I'm only at about a 75% productivity level for work. The rest of the time I'm trying to figure out what the right position would be for my AC adapter to work, or waiting for the computer to charge when I DO get it to work...

Oh, my poor laptop. You've been good to me (even though you weigh about 20 pounds). I'll miss you when you're gone and I have a NEW, SPEEDIER laptop next week. Whoo hoo!

Today I was supposed to drive over to Milwaukee to shadow another person for the job that I'm going to start doing. However, shadowing isn't a billable thing so if something billable comes up, then I have to do that. Because Christine's main job is to make money for the company! So I have all this week blocked out to do paid work. I've also been doing training, since I can't travel anywhere. So my calendar has had a scattering of training assignments, which is handled by a different department then mine...

So of course, I have no idea that there's a training class that's scheduled that I'm assigned for that I miss because it's not on my "official" calendar, that is, the calendar that I normally look at. So luckily, Tyson, the golden training god, helped me out with this one and took the class. But tomorrow I'll have to step in and do some training, even though I've got client work to do.

So in reality, I had three things on my calendar for Tuesday - shadowing, client work and training.

It's nice to feel loved.

For the next couple weeks, I don't have a husband.

I've lost him to the big screen TV in our basement...watching basketball as soon as he gets home from work. Today, there's 10 hours of NCAA basketball on, and they TV will be on for most of that 10!

I admit, though, I really love watching the tourney. There've been so many upsets it's been exciting to watch. A lot of the top seeds are out, replaced by teams like Bradley, George Mason and Northwestern State. How far will they go? Who knows! That's what makes it so great to watch!

Hopefully my baby isn't born until after the tourney is over. I'd hate for Dave to make such a difficult choice - be there for the birth of his first born son, or watch the Final Four. What a shame if Dave missed the baby's birth! :-P

...and Sue, you have my condolences for Iowa...

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! I'm gonna go out to the local pub and celebrate this day with a pint of Guinness and an Irish Car Bomb.

Oh wait, I can't.

Hmm...then I'll reward myself with a dinner of corned beef and cabbage.

Oh wait, it's Friday, us Catholics can't have meat. Anyone know if the pope made an exception?

Oh well, I guess its fish for me and my pregnant lady vitamin drink.

Well, the rest of you non-pregnant non-Catholics live it up for me!

I have been so swamped with training and trying to come up with a freakin' lesson plan that I've hardly had time to go online! OK, I really don't need to come up with a lesson plan, I just need to review this massive book before I teach the students. It's one thing to teach someone something one on one. It's another thing to teach a whole class of students knowledge that you have in a sort of linear, cohesive manner. Did that even make sense? How am I to teach when I can hardly even make sense to myself?

Hmph!

I thought that work was supposed to slow down for a pregnant lady!

THE MAN IS BRINGIN' ME DOWN!

I still want to do my post Olympic write-up - there's a lot of things I want to comment on...but you all know that I've been really interested (and biased) in the Chad Hedrick/Shani Davis feud where Chad was upset that Shani didn't skate the team pursuit, saying that Shani's focus on his individual goals interfered with the team getting a gold. (Of course, we know that a gold is NEVER a sure thing in the Olympics). The media picked up on it like sharks in a feeding frenzy, saying that Shani pulled out of the team pursuit, blah blah blah, and with the help of a really bad, weird, out of character interview Shani looked like a villain to many for abandoning his team.

Sadly, even the local papers here gave him a lot of shit about it...

Turns out today, Phil Hersh, who was one of the local reports to criticize Shani, has written a sort of apology, with lots of quotes from USOC and US Speedskating hire ups saying, "Oops, we were bad. We SHOULD have said something so the whole thing didn't blow up to a battle of Olympic proportions..."

"The way the public understood and the media portrayed the situation is inaccurate," said U.S. Olympic Committee Chief Executive Jim Scherr. "Shani never pulled out because he never entered. He made clear his desire to win the individual events he was focused on, and in the light of hindsight, with his two medals, that was the right decision."

Hedrick's outrage and U.S. speedskating's failure to make the media aware of what it knew about the situation turned it into a bitter feud, in which everyone quickly took sides.

"In hindsight, knowing what a big issue this became, it probably would have been a good move (for U.S. Speedskating) to make a clarifying statement," Brian Wanek, chair of U.S. Speedskating's long-track committee, said Wednesday.

Article: Shani Davis deserves big apology

Is it too late? I think so. It's a nice gesture after the fact, but really, when people remember the Torino games, they'll remember what happened between Shani and Chad. If someone with some authority stepped in during the drama and said, "Hey, Shani never even signed up for the team pursuit" then maybe people would have believed Shani or his people when they said that he had never signed up for it.

Now, since everyone kept their mouth shut and the network was so hungry for ratings, we'll remember Torino for a spat between two men, rather than for the 3 golds, 3 silvers and bronzes that US long track speedskating added to the US medal count.

I had my second baby shower last weekend, at my in-laws place. This was Dave's side of the family, and let me tell ya, there were a LOT of people there! When we were opening the presents I was so hot! I thought I was going to burst into flames.

My niece came with my aunt, and this is my niece from the other side. Well, she's not a real niece but she's just like blood to me. I'll refrain from saying her name because those that know her will figure out who she is. She is such a friendly little girl (she's 3) that she made friends immediately with the little kids that were there. They went around gathering balloons and running around and laughing and jumping on the couches.

My ring bearer from the wedding came a little later in the party. He's about 5 now. Anyway, when I was opening my presents, all the little kids were helping out, helping me tear the wrapping paper, bringing us the gifts, etc. I saw that my neice and ring bearer talking - more like my ring bearer trying to talk to my niece, who was concentrating really hard on moving presents around. I laughed to myself, thinking how cute it was that they were making friends.

After the presents were open, it was time for her to go home. She told her mom she wasn't ready to go home yet, but her mom was tired from work and needed to get some rest. My niece had her jacket on and the ringbearer went up to her mom and asked, "Can't she stay any longer?", to which her mom replied, "No, she's tired, she needs to go home and rest."

So he turns to my niece and says, "Are you tired?"

"No!" she says.

So her turns to her mom and says, "See? She's not tired!"

Ha! What a smart kid.

Later on as she was getting ready to leave, he says to her, "I'm sorry we didn't get to meet earlier, my family came late." She just smiled.

As her mom was saying her goodbyes, my niece was by the door. My ringbearer gave her a hug, and then gave her a kiss on the forehead. I looked around to see if there was anyone else who was witnessing this stud get his mack on. I looked at Dave and we bust out laughing. Dave's cousin also saw the whole thing and we all made, "Oh my god!" faces. Then the ringbearer held my niece's hand as she waited for her mother.

It was cute, yet a little weird and uncomfortable at the same time.

Kids these days!

One thing that I never expected when first got pregnant is a special aversion to people.

"What is a people aversion?" you may ask...

I dunno, I just made it up.

But really, I really don't feel like going out much. I normally don't feel like calling people up or emailing them (unless there's some REALLY good gossip to be had). At my showers I pretty much kept to myself and didn't work the room like I normally would. There are certain people who I cringe at even reading something that they've written or hearing their voices, people who really didn't bother me at all before I was pregnant (or who just slightly annoyed me). I've even told Dave "I hate you" and "I've married a monster!" I've been pretty much living the life of a hermit, and I'm ok with that...normally I'd be climbing off the walls without any human interaction.

It's weird.

Hopefully it goes away after the baby's born, because it's nice to have friends!

I was on lower Wacker last night, waiting for my bus to pass by. I had worked a little late to get some stuff done, so there weren't too many other people around.

I heard some talking behind me and laughing. I turned around to see what was going on, and I saw two men going up the stairway behind me.

"I was telling my friend that you were cute." one of them said.

"Um, thanks..." I said, and turned around, making sure that there were other people within eyeshot.

"So, do you have a big boyfriend or anything like that?" he asked me.

I turned around to speak to him, "Actually, I'm married..."

"Oh. OK, forget it then. Later." he said as he and his friend finished going up the stairs.

Um, hello? He's trying to hit on a big pregnant woman on the street?

Yeah baby, I still got it.

I'm a hot pregnant lady....that attracts homeless people.

Oh, did I forget to mention that he was homeless?

:-P

Just a shout out to my bestest friend ever, Rusty, who's skating in the short track men's relay tomorrow. Ok, he's not my bestest friend ever, but I like to lie to him and tell him that.

I'm so proud of him, making his third Olympics when most people would have a hard time even going there once. (Although watch out for me in 2010 - curling is my way in, baby!!!) He's had a tougher journey this time around, being an old fossil on the short track team (26 is an old fossil on that team, to me, anyway) as well as suffering an injury a couple years ago. In a race Rusty got hit in the face by another skater's blade, which sliced his nose and could have done some major damage to his eye if he wasn't wearing protective lenses. He had to have some reconstructive surgery done on his nose to put it back together. Some skaters would have been hesitant to get back on the ice after an injury like that, and to tell the truth, right after the accident he wasn't the same. I was afraid he wouldn't have the competitive fire that he had before.

But time heals, and although he didn't qualify for all the distances this year, he still made the team. He did AWESOME in the 1000m race, making the finals after some pretty close races. He was skating like the Rusty I remember watching. It was great to see him skating the final, and in a sport where the spotlight is pretty much on Apolo, for a moment the light shined on Rusty, too. We were all cheering for him that night, and although he finished fourth, we know he tried his best...

Tomorrow he's skating the men's relay. It's gonna be a crazy race and I hope he stays out of traffic and stays safe. We'll be watching, once again, and cheering him on - hopefully they'll show him on TV this time! Nothing would be better than for Rusty and the rest of the guys, Apolo, Izy and JP (and Anthony, too) to get a medal on the last day of the Olympics, and maybe for Rusty's last race ( I dunno if he's retiring this year or not)

So if you're reading this, I know you would have given me a hard time for making a post about Shani and not one about you. Of course, if you created a lot of drama at the Olympics, maybe you'd get some press time, too. But at least you had Katie Couric touch you a lot during your Today show segment!

Go Rusty!

Why?

Because yesterday I sent out all the "thank you" cards for my first shower.

Doing that gives me a big sense of accomplishment, since I've NEVER sent out all my thank you cards before....I sent out a good handful of thank you cards for those that gave us wedding presents...about 70%, much less for those that gave me bridal shower gifts...

Oh, by the way...if you gave me a present for my wedding or bridal shower 3 years ago, and didn't get a "thank you" card, THANKS!!! I really appreciated your gift, whatever it was...

Anyway, I sat myself down on Sunday and Monday and started writing my little heart out. I had to pause every now and then because my hand would cramp up and my ass would start hurting, but I was pretty productive and got all of them done...

Well, I just lied a little. I didn't send out ALL the cards...there were a couple presents that came in the mail since the shower that I haven't sent out the cards for yet....but I swear they'll get done by the end of the week! (which means I just have tomorrow to do them!)

Yano's a big girl now!

One great thing about being bought out by this new company?

Getting Presidents' day off!!!

The last time I had this holiday off was when I was in college. Hell, I don't even think we got this day off in college. I don't remember.

But now I have this extra day to sit around and do whatever I want for the 11 hours that I'm usually out of the house working (I'm counting the commute here). I could watch the Olympics, watch some OnDemand movies, rent a movie at blockbuster, work on my Thank You cards (which I started last night, thankyouverymuch), do some post-cleaning from the party, clean out my closet...

However, slave-driver "I love to clean" Dave will be home today since he was on-call yesterday, so it will probably be the last two things on that list. Hmph!

Oh well, at least I still have a day off!

I've always had pretty vivid dreams, but I had a REALLY interesting one the other day...I don't even know if this one is open to interpretation, it's so bizarre!

It starts out with me on the L train. I'm riding along, and then David Boreanaz ("Angel") comes on the train. We talk and he invites me to this house. Of course, I agree to come along.

We get to this huge mansion, and walk in. It's pretty dark when I get in, I can't see much. As soon as we get in, David leaves me and I'm left to wander around on my own. It's an older mansion, with many rooms. For some reason, I know that this place is a whorehouse/fetish dungeon. Not that I actually saw anything happening, but there were people walk around and the women were dressed in leather and some had masks on, so it was easy to figure out.

I end up in a room in the back, talking to this woman who works there, and she shows me her life size doll. The doll is lying on a bed and she showing me all the features. Suddenly the doll falls off the bed and I help the woman put the doll back on the bed. As we're doing this, the owner of the mansion comes in. Of course, I just know this. It's Dennis Hopper. He's pissed that the doll fell off the bed, and drags the woman away. I know she's going to get hurt, but he tells me to stay where I am and by the tone of his voice I know that I should listen.

I sit there in the dim light, and then Eddie Cibrian ("Invasion","Third Watch") comes in. He has a mohawk that is colored pink, white and yellow, and has a black studded chocker on with a torn shirt and tight leather pants. He tells me to go with him. I follow him.

Then for some reason, I'm looking around the mansion again and there's Ewok, my dad's dog. He's running around all happy. I pass by him, and then see him again right in front of me. I look behind me and he's still behind me. I realize there are two of him. Far away, I see another dark shape in the dark and figure that there's a third Ewok there.

I pick up the two Ewoks by me and I carry them over to Dennis Hopper. One of the Ewoks is fidgety, so I throw him in a pail that has about 2 inches of water in it. I'm showing Dennis the dogs and let him know that Ewok has replicated himself. I point out Ewok in the bucket, but before my eyes he submerges himself, drowns and disappears. I look at Ewok in my other hand and I've held him so hard that my hand has crushed him and all I have is a little ball of fur. I look down the hall at the other Ewok, and he's still running around. I tell Dennis that that is the original Ewok and these two were just imposters.

END DREAM.

Am I twisted or what?

I've been in Milwaukee for the past two days. I was actually supposed to spend yesterday night there, but hey, it was Valentine's day, so I decided to come home since the weather was nice.

When I lived out in Long Beach and commuted north to Thousand Oaks, it was a 60 mile drive but took between 2-3 hours to drive. I loved those drives because I could think and just have some time to myself. Time went by like nothing.

Driving from my place to Milwaukee is 80 miles and I can do it in about an hour and a half, but by the time I'm done with the drive, I'm exhausted! I don't get as much time to clear my head since I'm paranoid the whole time because of the baby, especially when there was a car on fire on the highway yesterday. It was crazy! Not only that, but my butt would start cramping up and I'd start getting fidgety.

So yesterday I came home and surprised Dave, who was at home cleaning in preparation for my baby shower this weekend (if you weren't invited, you're free to come - it's Saturday - email me for details). We decided to head out to this new sushi place by our house. I had on my work clothes, so I was pretty dressed up, but for some reason I put on my wacky sneakers. I looked like the biggest dork with my pretty blue top, cool black pants and white chunky sneakers with silver stripes. But dinner was great. We savored it since we really don't know if we'll have time to go to dinner once the baby comes.

Once we got home, we turned on the Olympics and promptly fell asleep on our couches. I woke up at midnight and realized that I forgot to do some work in preparation for today so I stayed up for another hour working, only to wake up at 6am to drive to Milwaukee again.

So I got home today, exhausted. I was worried that I'd miss Rusty racing short track today, but luckily his races were after "LOST". Before I knew the schedule I was really sad that I'd have to choose between watching my friend compete or watching my favorite TV show. Such are the choices I'm faced with every day in life. :-P

So what the hell am I doing up now?

I have no idea....

*yawn*

Goodnight!

Tomorrow: wacky dreams and my Olympic thoughts

Dave didn't feel really hyped up for the Olympics, wanting to focus more on college basketball this week. He knows I'm an Olympic fanatic so he created a new rule for the house - Only one hour of Olympics for me....every other day. Yeah, right....WHATEVER!

SO I've been watching it for the last couple nights, and when he's not studying, Dave will watch it with me. He especially loves snowboarding, and has been picking my brain about short track. He's had some pretty hilarious comments as we've been watching the games, and I wanted to share a couple with you...

On figure skating pairs - "Man, why don't the women wear thongs? This sport would totally be popular with the guys if they did!"

I've noticed that some of the pairs women are wearing pants/leggings instead of skirts, which for some weird reason I prefer. I commented to Dave about it:
Me: Aww, she's wearing pants! I think its better when they wear skirts.
Dave: No, it's ok, she's got a nice ass.

On Speedskating - When we were watching the speedskating 5000m race, it was taking FOREVER. Those are long races. I tried to explain to Dave that the races in short track don't take as long:
Me: You know, in short track, it's shorter than this.
Dave: Duh, that's why they call it SHORT track.
Me: I meant the races are shorter!
Dave: Same thing!

When I told Dave that Chad Hedrick would be taking Apolo Anton Ohno's place as the new hearthrob for the Olympic Games, "Apolo was a heart throb? Are you serious?"

Commenting on the fact that Shani Davis was a young speedskater in Chicago when all the rest of the kids were trying to emulate Michael Jordan, "Man, I'm sure his friends gave him a hard time about wearing tights all the time."

On snowboarders - When Shaun White and Danny Kass were looking on as the American Flag was raised and the national anthem was playing..."Man, I bet those guys don't even KNOW the words to the national anthem!"

As the camera was focusing on Shaun White feeling emotion as the he reflected on his gold medal..."Wouldn't it be funny if someone threw a tomato at him? Like, if that's what people did to the Flying Tomato - throw tomatoes at him?"

His comments were hilarious. I told him he should do Olympic commentary for the Spike channel or something!

I had a real urging for sushi yesterday, even though I wasn't very hungry. When Dave got him he suggested that we go to a sushi restaurant. I told him that we didn't need to, since I wasn't that hungry. Any other time and I would jump at the opportunity! Also, I knew that the Grammy's were on so I didn't want to miss the opening.

So I decided to head out to my favorite fresh fish store and grab some sushi grade tuna and salmon and make me and my man some dinner. I made a Poki Bowl (I think it could be spelled as Poke, but I like the Poki spelling better) which has raw tuna, sesame oil, scallions, onions, soy sauce and chili paste. I made myself my own with salmon since I can't have tuna right now, and I also took out the chili because I'm a wimp. When we lived in Long Beach, Dave always had the Poki Bowl at the sushi restaurant by our place, so I wanted to give him a little treat.

I made Poki once before, and it was just 'ok', I only had tuna, sesame oil and soy sauce. This time around I hunted around for recipes to make it better. Since I know he likes it hot and spicy, I added some Thai chili paste we had at the house. I had no idea how much to add, so I just added a spoonful.

Oops.

Turned out it was much too hot for Dave, but like a trooper, he ate the whole thing and said outside of the hotness, it was really good. He tried my chili-less version out and said that it tasted excellent. Yay me!

I also made a seared Ahi tuna appetizer, which really wasn't seared at all since I made the tuna slices too thin and accidentally cooked the whole thing. I'll remember next time to just brown the outside and take them off the pan.

Anyway, here's my Ahi Poki recipe to share with you all...

1lb of sushi grade Ahi Tuna, sliced into small chunks (or a mixture of sushi grade salmon and tuna)
1/2 cup sliced green onion
1/2 cup diced white onion
3 tablespoons soy sauce (or four if you like it salty)
2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
1 tablespoon furikake (a japanese seasoning with seaweed and sesame seeds - optional)
1 teaspoon chili paste (or to taste)


Mix everything together, marinate for several hours before serving.

Yay!

I went to the doctor today with Dave. Turns out that I didn't gain 27 pounds. My scale at home is a bit off. I've actually gained 35 pounds.

Interestingly enough, 25-35 pounds was what the doctor expected me to gain FOR MY WHOLE PREGNANCY.

Well now, that's not gonna work, is it?

But as a side note (that really means nothing) you may remember that I had lost about 5lbs during the first month or so of my pregnancy, so the way I look at it, I just gained 30lbs. That's not as bad, right?

I've gained 10lbs since my last visit, which prompted my doc to ask, "Has anything changed since the last time we saw each other?"

"Um," I stuttered, "I went to Vegas..."

"...and you pigged out?"

"Well, all they have are buffets out there..."

With that said, she told me to watch out. I don't need to go on a crazy diet or anything, but typically women gain 1lb a week in the last trimester, which would put me at about 50lbs by the end of the pregnancy.

Eek.

So after a "goodbye to gluttony" lunch at my favorite restaurant, Cafe Iberico, I am on the road to healthy eating.

On the positive side, my baby has stopped his massive growth spurt. He's on his way to being a big baby, not a BIG baby. Also, I passed my glucose test, which means that I don't have gestational diabetes, something I was really afraid of since diabetes runs in my family.

My dad's been out of town for the last couple weeks visiting friends, and Fatima just got a new job, so the house has been pretty empty. My dad's dog Ewok has been pretty lonely and Fata said he's been extra clingy and needy lately, so I decided to give him a little doggie vacation and have him over at our house for a couple days.

Ewok loves my place, especially the backyard where he has tons of room to run around and play. However, I have to keep in on a leash because he keeps on trying to dig down where the raccoon was last year. Once we seal that space up he should be able to frolic around again.

This is pretty good practice for me - Ewok's really clingy so he's around me all the time. I also have to keep my eye on him because sometimes he gets into trouble chewing on pillows, shoes or digging in garbage. I also have to remember to let him out, or he'll have accidents in the house.

It's nice to have him around, especially when I'm working from home. It gives me someone to talk to and play with when I feel the need for a break. Also, when Dave's on call and isn't home at night, it's nice to have someone in the house to keep me company.

I want my own dog!!!

Unfortunately, Dave's not a pet person. He tolerates Ewok, but he never really had a pet that he played with as a kid so he doesn't know how to play with Ewok.

Maybe we'll make this doggy day care thing a regular thing...break in Dave and give me some company when I'm home alone!

Ewok Lounges on the Couch

I was just out walking the dog and noticed that the night was pretty clear. I realized it's been a while since I actually took the time to look up and look at the stars at night. Its something that I always try to do, but lately I haven't had a chance to. It's times like this that I realize that life has been so full of things to do that I haven't had the time to appreciate the little things.

I immediately found my favorite constellation - Orion. There's no way you could miss him up there in the sky - a row of three stars held within a rectangle of 4 other stars (5 if you're lucky). There were many a drunken night in college that me and my friends would lie down in the middle of the quad on our way home from the bars and find our constellation friends. Those nights were the best!

There were also times I remember standing outside my childhood home, searching for stars, or lying in Melanie's backyard, searching for Cygnus or falling stars, or watching lunar eclipses through the telescope my father gave me, trying to get the best magnification on the telescope as it was perched on my dad's car.

Unfortunately I didn't do too much stargazing tonight - the night was a bit chilly and I only had a light jacket on.

But it's nice to know that the stars are out...it always brings back fond memories and a sense of comfort to me.

We had plans this weekend to go snowboarding at Devil's Head, but when we found out that it was going to be 40 degrees and raining on Saturday, we decided not to go. Instead, we hosted "board game party" at my place, since that's what I would have been doing at Devil's Head while everyone was on the slopes anyway.

Turns out that no one brought any board games to my place (I haven't had time yet to accumulate board games) so it was more like eat White Castle that Melanie bought and "Watch cheesy movies" night. My cousin Irio taught me how to make this Brazilian Chicken Pot Pie that he had grown up eating, but I didn't write anything down so I doubt I'll remember how to make it. They brought over my godson Kenzo who is growing up so fast! Since we had no games to play, we entertained ourselves by putting Kenzo in a sitting position and trying to guess which direction he'd fall over, since he hasn't learned how to sit on his own yet.

It was a big disappointment that we didn't go boarding, but it was nice just to chill out at home and see the cousins...

Once I got pregnant, I knew my diet had to change. The meatatarian diet I've been following for the past 20 years religiously had to make way for a healthier, more well rounded diet. I didn't want to have a weirdly deformed baby because I didn't have enough veggies in my diet. But it would be a big change, since ever since I was a little girl I would sit at the table for hours, not eating my vegetables, with my father stating, 'You're not leaving the table until you eat your vegetables!' to which I would then sit in the dark, staring at these green monsters on my plate. Finally, my parents gave up...they already had one daughter that ate veggies like there was no tomorrow (damn you, Claudine), so they left me alone. Later, when people asked me why I didn't like vegetables, I would make up some statement like, "I don't like eating fruits and vegetables because we can't hear them scream when we pull them out of the earth or off trees. How cruel is that? Abusing them when we can't even know if they're in pain?" Of course, that logic is horrible. But that's how I lived, rarely having veggies. However, once I got pregnant, I knew things had to change.

I didn't think it would be too hard to do. I mean, I had learned how to eat salads at social events and even have a favorite fruit - the avocado. I started buying apples, bananas, pineapples, salad mixes, brocoli and a whole bunch of other healthy things. I got salads when eating out, and ate any veggies that came as a side.

I thought I would get used to it. I even thought that this pregnancy might change my outlook on veggies and I might even crave them.

Nope.

I still hate them.

It's torture.

I don't like the taste of them, I don't like the texture, I don't like them, period.

But here I am, munching on a banana with a cup of blueberry yogurt for breakfast (which really isn't that bad)....because it doesn't matter that I think, it matters that my baby is getting all the nutrients he can get.

He's definitely going to hear it from me when he's out - "Because of you, I had to eat VEGETABLES!!! Now go make me a steak!"

For any of you who have called my home number in the past 1 1/2 years that we've lived in our house and have never had any acknowledgement from either me or Dave, I want you to know that we've finally gotten an answering machine that we know how to check. We used to have voicemail service before, which we did know how to check, but we had just forgotten the phone number we were supposed to dial. Yes, yes, I know we could have programed the VM number into our speed dial or something, but that would be too easy now, wouldn't it?

I think in the time that we had the voicemail, I checked it a total of 3 times. After that, we just forgot about it. We rarely gave out our home phone number anyway. The thing that sucks about voice mail service is that there's really no way to know that you have messages unless you call it. Ignorance is bliss, so we never called it.

One day about 9 months ago, when I had nothing else to do, I checked the voicemail. I went through about 50 messages or some insane number like that. Seventy percent of those were Dave's parents wondering where we were (they like to check up on us, like, every day), some were reminders for appointments, some were from my family, several were from a friend that Dave had called to ask advice about a projector, which was really funny, because Dave was pissed that he never heard from him, and lo and behold, our friend had tried so hard to get a hold of us! After realizing how many calls we were missing, I decided to just get an answering machine. That instant notification as soon as we walk through the door and seeing a message button light up would be worth it.

So I got an answering machine/phone combo, plugged it in, made a short and sweet recording to leave us a message, and went on with life.

The phone worked great. I used it for work all the time, since it had a speakerphone function. The old phone was moved upstairs to the office, which helped out a lot since we didn't have a phone in there.

But as time went on, no messages.

I really didn't think much of it. I just thought that people got sick of leaving us messages back in the voicemail days that they no longer wanted to leave us messages.

Then this who snafu happened with the doctors office when I showed up for an appointment that they had cancelled, and told me that the left several messages on my home phone telling me so (I had been out traveling, so I wouldn't have been home to get them anyway). I went home and asked Dave if he'd gotten any messages, and he said no. Seems that he wasn't curious that in the 7 months we had the machine we never got any messages.

I checked the dreaded voicemail (which I had forgotten to cancel), and there were the messages, along with 30 others!

What was going on? Why wasn't our new fancy phone picking up the new messages? I had set the ringer pickup to 4 rings, I seemed to have checked everything, and still, it didn't work.

Of course, I didn't read the manual. No, no, no, my friends, I'm too cool and too smart for that. Seriously, if you asked me where the manual was, I wouldn't know, I'd maybe point in the general direction of my kitchen, where most manuals end up anyway.

After a lot of tinkering and a lot of frustration, my eyes saw a button that I had never seen before, but which was so obvious, so blatant, that I had wondered why I had never seen it before.

What button was it?

"On/Off"

What the--?!?!

There's an on/off switch for this little fucker?

Wait, wait, wait, the phone works, I'm able to make a recording and set the number of rings, everything else seems to function...doesn't that mean that this thing is on already?

Well, the evidence proved NO, since when I hit that little on/off switch, it lit up all nice and green.

Imagine that! I never turned ON the answering machine!

After that, we started getting messages. We surprised people when they left a message and we called back stating, "Yeah, we got your message and..." We feel all grown up now.

The only thing is, our answering machine still has that robotic 'Please. Leave. A. Message." voice....I guess when I made my recordings before it didn't take. But I'm too lazy to change it, so for the time being, we're gonna take little steps and take this answering machine business slow...

So leave us a message. We'll call back this time!

A couple months ago I attended the baptism of my first godchild, Kenzo (whom I call 'Vader'). This is the first time that someone had trusted me to be the godparent for their child, and I was honored. However, due to scheduling problems, I was not able to attend any of the pre-baptism classes that they had for future godparents.

However, when I went to the ceremony, they gave us some cards that outlined our responsibilities as godparents:

To be chosen as a godparent is a special honor. You, above all others, have been entrusted with a special responsibility: participating in the child's Christian life, formation and education.

This privilege offers you an opportunity to develop a mutually enriching spiritual relationship...one that hopefully will last through your life time.

There are special things that I'm sure the parish will tell you about in some classes or the day of the baptism [and its rehearsal]. Each parish does unique things for the ritual, such as dressing the child, holding a candle, being responsible in getting the certificate to the parents, etc. Other things that you can do are:

Celebrate the anniversary of this holy day of holy baptism each year with a visit, call, email, or card or all of the above! Also, remember the actual birthday each year. Other visits from the godparent through the year can be special (like going to an amusement park, a special mass or holy day event, etc.).

As your godchild grows, it can be very helpful for you to share in the struggles and triumphs of living the Christian life by keeping yourself informed and updated on the Catholic faith, its doctrine, values, and the bishops teaching, you can be a resource person for the godchild.

Encourage a consistent life of faith through special letters, gifts or holy events, like Christmas, Easter, anniversaries, and also by remembering their graduation, confirmation, first communion, first penance, first job, car, engagement and other events. Sharing a Christian gift [such as a bible, rosary or other religious articles, writing a letter for a retreat, or helping them pay to go on a retreat] are very meaningful and demonstrate your importance in their developing faith.

Being supportive to the godchild's parents is especially important. They are the primary religious educators of their child. Your support of this means a lot!

Encouraging and being supportive of the godchild's religious education is also important by being a model of Christian daily prayer, active participation in the parish, by attending liturgy, etc.

Wow! That's a lot of responsibilities. All I remember from my godparents growing up was an extra-expensive Christmas present. One of my godparents I haven't seen in about 20 years.

Also, for some reason, I thought that the godparent is someone who gets to have your kid if you should meet an untimely demise. That isn't mentioned here, did anyone else think that?

So I'm going to try and be the best godparent ever. I will try and guide my little godson into my interpretation of what it is to be a good Catholic. By 'my interpretation' I mean that I'm going to teach him about the values and morality of being a good person, but that the Catholic Church itself may still be trying to figure out issues like accepting homosexuals and that Harry Potter isn't evil, even though the Pope may think so. Also, birth control education is a necessity (even though the church doesn't think so) because abstinence is not an easy choice for an incredibly hormonal teenager to make.

On the anniversary of his baptism, he'll get a "Happy Baptism Anniversary!" card...oh wait, they don't make those. Guess I'll just have to photoshop one myself...Also, I'll try and get together with my fellow godparents, Dave, Marlon and Tracy, to hold annual plays about various events in the Christian faith, like "The Nativity Play", "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", "Noah's Ark" (starring various pets, like Ewok, Luscious, Caleb, Oliver and Sunny), "Making Wine at the Wedding", "Sodom and Gomorrah", and other Bible hits.

Yes, I'm going to ROCK as a godparent!

Me and My Fellow Godparent, Marlon

Me and My Godson, Kenzo

Sometimes when I'm in an elevator that has bars on the sides for people to hold on to, I like to stand in the corner and left myself up on the bars, pretending that I'm an Olympic gymnast on the parallel bars. Of course, I know that it's a men's event, but still, it's fun to do and it cracks my back nicely. I also like to see how long I can hold myself up by just the strength of my arms...it makes me feel strong!

Anyway, I came across one of those elevators when I was in Vegas.

I put my hands on the bars and lifted. Nothing happened. I tried again. Nothing.

I couldn't lift up my body weight with my arms.

Of course, it's no secret that I've gained a good amount of weight with this pregnancy, but still, it was a little shock to me that I couldn't do my elevator-parallel-bars routine.

As I say this, I'm heading out to Old Navy to go pick up a pair of large maternity jeans because the mediums are getting a big snug.

Moooooooooooooooooooooo!

There's no place like home...

I got home late on Tuesday night from my 1 1/2 week stint in Vegas, and I was exhausted! I spent most of yesterday just recharging and being happy that I was home.

I love Vegas, but to tell the truth, by the end of the trip I was a little sick of it. I think if I was just there on vacation with a lot of free time I would have really enjoyed the trip, but since I had to spend most of the days in meetings and thinking really hard by the end of the day I was too tired to do any sightseeing or do anything worthwhile.

I was also just plain homesick. Being away for a while is one thing, but being away for a while and being pregnant is another. I didn't get as much rest as I normally do when I'm at home, and I definitely didn't eat as healthy. Damn those buffets!!! I gained about 6lbs while I was gone. My doctor will NOT be happy with me. It was hard for me not to be home, not to be able to have quality time with my belly (many of the times after I was done with meetings in LV, I'd just come back to my room and sleep), and it was difficult to not have Dave around, who has been SO supportive during the pregnancy. I felt bad that he missed out on a week and a half of watching my belly grow and trying to feel the baby kick...

But now I'm home, and everything is OK again. I know I could have opted not to go to Vegas for this meeting, but aside from the homesickness I got a lot out of it. I learned a lot about the new product, got a lot of training, and most importantly, got to meet a lot of the people I will be working with from now on (everyone works in different locations, so it's hard to get everyone together).

Home! Home! I can't tell you how joyous I am to be back home again, back on my favorite couch, seeing that my fish are still alive, getting hugs from Dave...I have a new appreciation for it all!

I'd love to go to Vegas again, but next time on vacation where I can relax and have fun...

The Paris Casino Behind the Bellagio Fountains

Here's my current stats:

Days of pregnancy left : 100 days
Pounds gained : 27 (I know, I know)
Pairs of pants I fit : 5
# of people who have touched my belly : @ 50
# of people I have forced to touch my belly : 1 (redpac)
# of cities visited since being pregnant : 6 (not counting stopovers, which would add about 4-5 more cities)
# of plane round-trips : 11

Best Motion Picture - Drama

A History Of Violence
Benderspink Productions; New Line Cinema

**Brokeback Mountain
Focus Features/River Road Entertainment;

The Constant Gardener
Potboiler Prods./Scion Films; Focus Features

Good Night, And Good Luck
Section Eight/2929 Entertainment/Participant Productions; Warner Independent Pictures

Match Point
A Jada Production; DreamWorks Pictures

---

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Maria Bello – A History Of Violence

**Felicity Huffman – Transamerica

Gwyneth Paltrow – Proof

Charlize Theron – North Country

Ziyi Zhang – Memoirs Of A Geisha

---

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Russell Crowe – Cinderella Man

Philip Seymour Hoffman – Capote

Terrence Howard – Hustle & Flow

**Heath Ledger – Brokeback Mountain

David Strathairn – Good Night, And Good Luck

---

Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy

Mrs. Henderson Presents
Heyman Hoskins Productions; The Weinstein Company

Pride & Prejudice
Working Title Prods.; Focus Features/StudioCanal

**The Producers
Brooksfilms; Universal Pictures/Columbia Pictures

The Squid And The Whale
American Empirical/Peter Newman-InterAL; Samuel Goldwyn Films/Sony Pictures Releasing International

Walk The Line
Fox 2000 Pictures/TreeLine Productions/Catfish Productions; Twentieth Century Fox

---

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Judi Dench – Mrs. Henderson Presents

Keira Knightley – Pride & Prejudice

**Laura Linney – The Squid And The Whale

Sarah Jessica Parker – The Family Stone

Reese Witherspoon – Walk The Line

---

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy

Pierce Brosnan – The Matador

Jeff Daniels – The Squid And The Whale

Johnny Depp – Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

**Nathan Lane – The Producers

Cillian Murphy – Breakfast On Pluto

Joaquin Phoenix – Walk The Line

---

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

**Scarlett Johansson – Match Point

Shirley MacLaine – In Her Shoes

Frances McDormand – North Country

Rachel Weisz – The Constant Gardener

Michelle Williams – Brokeback Mountain

---

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

**George Clooney – Syriana

Matt Dillon – Crash

Will Ferrell – The Producers

Paul Giamatti – Cinderella Man

Bob Hoskins – Mrs. Henderson Presents

---

Best Foreign Language Film

Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas)
France
Nord Quest Productions/Senator Film Productions/The Bureau Artemis Productions/Media Pro Pictures/TFI Films/Les Productions de la Gueville; Sony Pictures Classics

**Kung Fu Hustle
China
Columbia Pictures Asia/Huayi Brothers/Taihe Film Investment Co. Ltd/Star Overseas; Sony Pictures Classics

Paradise Now
Palestine
Augustus Film/Lama Films/Razor Films/Lumen Films/Arte France Cinema/Hazazah Film; Warner Independent Pictures

Promise, The (Master Of The Crimson Armor)
China
Moonstone Entertainment

Tsotsi
South Africa
UK Film & TV Production Company PLC/Industrial Development Corporation of South Africa/National Film & Video Foundation of South Africa; Miramax Films

---

Best Director - Motion Picture

Woody Allen – Match Point

George Clooney – Good Night, And Good Luck

Peter Jackson – King Kong

**Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain

Fernando Meirelles – The Constant Gardener

Steven Spielberg – Munich

---

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Match Point
Written by Woody Allen

Good Night, And Good Luck
Written by George Clooney, Grant Heslov

**Crash
Written by Paul Haggis, Bobby Moresco

Munich
Written by Tony Kushner, Eric Roth

Brokeback Mountain
Written by Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana

---

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

Syriana
Composed by Alexandre Desplat

The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
Composed by Harry Gregson-Williams

King Kong
Composed by James Newton Howard

Brokeback Mountain
Composed by Gustavo Santaolalla

**Memoirs Of A Geisha
Composed by John Williams

---

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

"A Love That Will Never Grow Old" – Brokeback Mountain

"Christmas in Love" – Christmas In Love

"There's Nothing Like a Show on Broadway" – The Producers

"Travelin' Thru" – Transamerica

**"Wunderkind" – The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

---

Best Television Series - Drama

Commander In Chief
Touchstone Television; ABC

Grey's Anatomy
Touchstone Television; ABC

**Lost
Touchstone Television; ABC

Prison Break
Original Film/Adelstein- Parouse Productions/Twentieth Century Fox Television; FOX

Rome
HBO Entertainment/BBC; HBO

---

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama

Patricia Arquette – Medium

Glenn Close – The Shield

**Geena Davis – Commander In Chief

Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer

Polly Walker – Rome

---

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama

Patrick Dempsey – Grey's Anatomy

Matthew Fox – Lost

**Hugh Laurie – House

Wentworth Miller – Prison Break

Kiefer Sutherland – 24

---

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Desperate Housewives

Entourage

Everybody Hates Chris

**My Name Is Earl

Weeds

---

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Marcia Cross – Desperate Housewives

Teri Hatcher – Desperate Housewives

**Felicity Huffman – Desperate Housewives

Eva Longoria – Desperate Housewives

Mary-Louise Parker – Weeds

---

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy

Zach Braff – Scrubs

**Steve Carell – The Office

Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm

Jason Lee – My Name Is Earl

Charlie Sheen – Two and a Half Men

---

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television

Empire Falls

**Into The West

Lackawanna Blues

Sleeper Cell

Viva Blackpool

Warm Springs

---

Best Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Halle Berry – Their Eyes Were Watching God

Kelly MacDonald – The Girl In The Café

**S. Epatha Merkerson – Lackawanna Blues

Cynthia Nixon – Warm Springs

Mira Sorvino – Human Trafficking

---

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Kenneth Branagh – Warm Springs

**Ed Harris – Empire Falls

Bill Nighy – The Girl In The Café

Jonathan Rhys Meyers – Elvis

Donald Sutherland – Human Trafficking

---

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Candice Bergen – Boston Legal

Camryn Manheim – Elvis

Sandra Oh – Grey's Anatomy

**Elizabeth Perkins – Weeds

Joanne Woodward – Empire Falls

---

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Naveen Andrews – Lost

Paul Newman – Empire Falls

**Jeremy Piven – Entourage

Randy Quaid – Elvis

Donald Sutherland – Commander In Chief

Dear Lovie Smith,

I know you have a big game ahead of you tomorrow, and you probably have a lot on your mind right now. But I just wanted to ask you for a teeny tiny favor. Nothing huge. I just need the following to happen (all of the following, not 2 of 3):

a) The Bears win the game
b) The first score of the game is a field goal (either you can score that field goal or limit the Panthers to scoring a field goal first instead of a touchdown)
c) Have over 3 field goals total (between both teams) for the whole game. You can have as many or as little touchdowns/safeties as you want, but lets have a lot of field goals.

See? It's not that hard, right? I mean, you guys have the best defense out there, and have prevented teams from getting touchdowns all season, forcing them to try field goals when the time came, and it shouldn't be any different for the Panthers game tomorrow.

I admit, I have some money on the game. I'm in Vegas, and I have to admit that I'm a bit of a gambler, and hell, while I'm here, why not place a little bet on my favorite team?

I'm not doing it because I'm greedy for the money...I'm doing it because I believe in you, Lovie, you and the rest of the Bears team. You guys can win it all. You've played the Panthers before and had 3 field goals (btw, if you get three this time I'll get my money back.) Not only that, but you also managed to sack QB Jake Delhomme 8 times and kept them to 3 points, where they had averaged 20 the weeks before.

So I believe you can beat them.

...and I believe you can my my requests come true, therefore getting me out of my gambling debt and help my unborn son go to college.

You want him to go to college, don't you?

Thanks Lovie, you're the best.

GO BEARS!

So I didn't gamble on Wednesday, after losing $50 the night before (hey, $50 is a big deal to me!!!)

However, thanks to my wonderful pipe cleaning skillz, I got a prize at our company meeting for best use of pipe cleaner (see the post below). Seriously. I couldn't even joke about something as silly as that!

So I won $50. Yes. For making animals out of pipe cleaner.

So.....since I had lost $50 on Tuesday, and won $50 today, I decided that I was then even for the week.

Which of course means it was back to the tables for me!!!

Then I was down $65.

I was on my last $5 when I started hitting my numbers on the roulette wheel, and built myself up to $67, $2 up from where I started. I put $50 aside and tried using the last $17 to give me a comfortable lead to end the night (or morning, which you can see by the time of this post). Then I lost that $17, plus $5 from my "DO NOT TOUCH" bank.

By my calculations, I'm $20 down, which really isn't too bad. Then again, I'll be here for another 5 days (dear God, when will it end?!?!?) so I don't want to even think about how far in the hole I'm going to end up!

Yes, I have a problem.

But hell, if I can't go out binge drinking with my coworkers (I'm tired of ordering fruit punch!) then I'm going to get my high from gambling, dammit!

Tomorrow, I'll try rubbing the chips on my belly for good luck.

My baby isn't even born yet and he's already being exploited for my monetary gain.

I'm a great mom! A great mom who's 6 months pregnant and sits at the roulette table at 1 in the morning the night before work!

Managed NOT to gamble today - with the schedule we had during our team meeting, there wasn't time. I ran back to my room to watch LOST (all today's events from 7:30am til about 9:15pm) and after that, passed out til now. I swear, I had run out of gas at about 3:15pm, after that I was running on fumes.

Boy, I'm pooped!

However, we had a Mexican Buffet for dinner, which included flan and churros for dessert. I love churros!

How are you all doing?

Down $50.

Meaning that I lost the $70 that I won PLUS $50.

I need help.

This place is my weakness!

Tomorrow I am locking myself up in my room after dinner.

...after a game of blackjack or two.

NO! NO! NO BLACKJACK!

Hmm, but I'll put down $5 on red in roulette and see what happens.

$5. I can do that. And then I'll stop.

Really.

I hope.

Greetings from Vegas!

This team meeting I'm at for work is so-so. There's a lot of information that I'm trying to process. Last year when I was at the team meeting for the other company (the one that bought us out in '04 - this current company bought us out in '05) was in Columbus, and there were about 40 of us. This time around, it's in Vegas and there's about 250 of us. What a change! Once again I'm sitting around in a group of unfamiliar people half understanding what most of the presentations are about. It's nice to be around familiar faces that I've gotten to know over the last year. I did learn a lot, though, but the next couple days should be a lot more interesting since we'll actually be going over the product rather than the sales and R&D stats from the last year.

Afterwards, I hung out with the crew at the casinos. Everyone wants to try out craps, but the craps tables were pretty packed. I found a roulette table that was pretty empty, so sat myself down there. I love playing roulette, even though it's easy to lose a lot of money fast. You've gotta start big to win big. I lost my first $$ pretty quickly, but threw in some more and started hitting my numbers. After about an hour (maybe an hour and a half, I don't know...when I get that gambling high time stands still!) I had racked up $100 from what I started from.

Of course, I got greedy and didn't stop playing, under the assumption that since I was winning I would continue to win. Yes, I was wrong. However, since I was surrounded by coworkers I was able to stop myself and cash out before I lost all my winnings. I managed to leave winning $70, being the only person in my group to win.

I guess my buddha belly is good luck!

Ugh, there's still 9 more days for me here. That $70 isn't going to last too long!

I'm off To Vegas for work, for a whole week and a half!

Updating will happen whenever I can catch an internet connection, because I'm not paying $9.99 a night for internet at the hotel.

Later all!

I went to a wedding yesterday with Dave. It was hard to find something to wear where I didn't look like a stuffed sausage, but I managed. Most of the people there guessed that I was 7 months along (I'm about 5 1/2 months) so yes, I'm pretty huge right now.

We were sitting at our table watching couples dancing when "Lady in Red" came on. I really love this song, and long ago my dream had been to wear a red dress as I danced to this song with someone. That dream came true years ago when I went to a formal with Dave (before we were married). I had a long red dress on as we danced on the dancefloor. It was a formal at my old college, so a lot of my college friends were there (we had returned as alumni). As we were dancing, my friends danced around us and sang along with the song, changing the lyrics to "Lady in red, is dancing with Dave..." It was so cute and such a romantic moment, something I fondly think of every time I hear the song.

As the song came on, I looked at Dave, and said to him, "Hey, remember when I had that red dress on and we danced to this at formal and the guys were singing to us?"

"Huh? No."

"What? That was one of the most romantic moments of my life...you don't remember it?"

"Um...No. When was this?"

I then explained it to him, and he looked at me with a blank look on his face.

"Oh...oh yeah, now I remember!"

"LIAR! LIAR!"

"Um, I kinda remember."

"Hmph. Fine."

Men!!!

I dedicate this post to my new hero, my ex-coworker (who shall remain nameless to protect him) for sending me this awesome email about our other ex-coworker. I know it's not kind to laugh at other people's misfortunes, but I laughed for hours after reading this:

Nov. 25 - A Chicago man is accused of cashing counterfeit payroll checks at businesses in north Alabama.

Police say he cashed the checks on accounts like Krystal, Union Food Corporation and Barnhills Buffet.

Decatur Police say 39-year old J**** G***** has made more than $10,000 in the past two months cashing counterfeit checks. The first set of checks he passed off to merchants looked authentic.

Police say G***** used a computer generated check and printed on plain paper.

G****** was arrested at the Super Eight Motel in Decatur. He is charged with 16 counts of theft by deception and possession of drugs.

I was thinking it's not a secret since it's out on the internet, but I won't link it since it gives his real name, so just trust me on this...

We all had a lot of good times with old JG when he was working at X-Systems. He told a lot of tall tales and we only believed a couple of them. He was a smooth talker on the phone and it was always entertaining (yet a little uncomfortable at times) to listen to him butter up the ladies. He always had stories of parties he went to and how many times he got laid, or the time he was in Desert Storm and took a bullet. We knew he was a big BS-er but not this bad!

I'm currently watching the halftime show of the Rosebowl...where the USC Band is playing as well as the Texas band. In a battle of the bands, USC would win hands down. They definitely have better uniforms, dressed as Trojan soldiers with cool capes, where the Longhorns had puny little white cowboy hats and orange jumpers. USC played Michael Jackson's 'Beat It', and did a marching routine complete with fight choreography. True, if I was in the band I would loathe to do something like this on national television, but hey, I thought it was pretty cool watching it. The Longhorns did a Beatles medly, and didn't seem to be having as much fun.

But all in all, I really enjoyed the marching band performance. I really started to miss my days on the football field, counting hash marks and trying to remember how many counts I had to travel x number of yards. Ahh, to be in highschool again!

I was busy explaining the mechanics of marching band and calculating your steps to make the formations to Dave, who was never part of the band world. I got so into it that I didn't realize that he fell asleep on me.

Hmph.

Don't remember where I got this one, but it was interesting...

Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005. Post the first line of each entry, and that's your "Year In Review".

January: Hello 2005!!! With the new year, comes a new layout. [Ahh, how I love doing those layouts...]

February: Since I've been working my ass off at work over the last weeks, I haven't had much time to myself (i.e. surf the internet), so usually I just do it at home. [Referring to how I lost my internet for a night...]

March: I'm so pitiful. [I dunno, I think I start every post with that. But in this case, I was referring to how I run Ten on Tuesday and I never post it on my own site]

April: Has anyone watched the latest 'Bachelor'? [I did, for the whole season. I'm a loser.]

May: For those of you that enjoyed the original 'Virtual Bartender', there's a new version out, with twice the fun. [Something for the guys]

June: Just wanted to let y'all know that a new round of trivia starts today! Everyone has a clean slate and a chance to be in the top ten for the next month. [Ahh, Trivia, there are some people who are really obsessed over that *cough*RedpacandNoelle*cough*

July: I was discussing the temperature in the office with a coworker, and I asked him if he had T-H-O's. He had no idea what I was talking about. [Don't know what it is? Look it up!]

August: I'm off to New York City! [My job is 90% going to crappy places, 10% going to places as cool as NYC.]

September: With all this talk of the company being bought out (again) another question springs to mind. [With my company being sold again, I ponder what's going to happen to our Chicago office. So far, we're still here.]

October: I'm traveling for the first time in more than a month. [After a month hiatus, travel starts heating up again]

November: Greetings from Charleston, West Virginia! [My first time in West Virginia]

December: I got back yesterday at midnight from a horrendous trip back home from West Virginia. [How funny, it's almost like I spent the whole month in WV, but I didn't]

--------------------------------

Actually, I wanted to write a 'real' year in review as well.

My biggest challenge this year was work - as you may know, in 2004 my company was bought by a competitor, and more than half of our workforce was let go. Fortunately, I was kept on. But there were so many things that I needed to adjust to, it was so different working for a larger company where they had a completely different way of life than what I was used to. From little things to filling in a weekly timesheet (this was electronic where client time was itemized, before it was just a piece of paper where I just put 8s the whole week since overtime didn't really count) to getting 10x more emails a day, it was a hard adjustment.

Luckily, I had some great coworkers that went through it with me, and even though they didn't have the same job I did, they were there with me to listen to me complain and whine about how I hate change.

I had a new job title and new duties that had me away from home much more than I was with my previous title. I had to learn things fast and learn a lot on my own. There were times I was in a panic because I didn't know what to do. But in the end, I was able to find the strength in myself to figure things out on my own and each day give myself a little more confidence in what I was doing. Figuring out a problem that has been stumping you for a long time is the best feeling!

However, my company was once again bought out by an even larger competitor and once again, I have a new job title. The cycle never ends!

Home life has been good for the most part, but with some challenges. Dave and I had been trying to have a baby, but with my travel schedule and his resident schedule, it was hard to make that happen. I also felt bad that I was away all the time, so he was stuck with a majority of the home duties. The rest of my family life has been a whirlwind of emotion. As I've said before, nothing will be the same now that my mother, the glue that kept us all together, is gone. Drama after drama happened, using up my already low emotional resources. But in the end, we're all still here together, we're all still talking, more or less, and we're all together for the holidays. But it's been a challenge keeping everything together.

This has also been the year for life changes, not only for me and Dave (our lives haven't changed that much yet!) but also for friends. My good friends Jen and Mike came back from a year in China, with a new baby in tow. My cousin Trully had a baby, as did our friends Manny and Rachel. It's so odd to see this baby boom happen, and to see my friends having babies. It seems just like yesterday we were out at the clubs together getting trashed, dancing on platforms and not remembering anything we did the night before. Now they're parents and we stay home and play board games and have dinner parties. How life changes!

To tell the truth, though, I really have nothing to complain about. Life is good, and I'm happy. I'm surrounded by people I love and even though that occasional drama comes in, we always deal with it together. I know some people would kill to lead the life I lead and that I'm fortunate to have what I have.

2005 was good.

2006, now THAT'S something that's going to be interesting, don't you think?

Whew, I've been so tired lately and so busy cleaning up that I haven't had time to post my post-Christmas recap.

Christmas Eve day was a blur to me, I was baking, cooking, and wrapping at the same time. I needed to get everything done before I went to Dave's parents' place for dinner. I didn't finish wrapping, and decided to come back after dinner and before going to Maui's for my family Christmas.

Dave's family celebrates Christmas so differently than we do. It's pretty much just his family eating dinner together, then opening gifts. This year, my immediate family came along, so there was a bit more to do. We watched a couple hours of TNT's 24 hour "A Christmas Story" marathon and ate some good food. Sharing Christmas was never something I thought about when I got married. I love spending the holidays with my super extended family, starting off with having a big potluck dinner on Christmas Eve, going to midnight mass together, taking family pictures by the tree, waiting for 'Santa' to hand out presents and everyone opening up presents at the same time. But since I've gotten married, I've had to compromise and do Dave's thing first, then meet up with the family for the gift giving afterwards. It's not the same! But hey, Dave's making the same sacrifice, too, not spending all of Christmas night with his family. It's not that I don't enjoy spending the holidays with his family, they're great people, it's just that a lot of the magic and tradition which made me love this holiday is gone. *sigh*

After Dave's parents', we stopped by home to wrap presents. I knew that my family would all be attending midnight mass (we had attended an earlier mass) that I'd have some time to finish up my stuff. However, when I called my sister, she had said that mass was at 10:30pm, and they would all be coming back soon. I told her to stall them from opening presents until I got there and started wrapping like a maniac.

We finally got all the presents into the car, and I was a bit grumpy after Dave told me that it wouldn't be a big deal if we missed the present opening. (to which I snapped, "But that IS Christmas to me!")

We got to Maui's, and everyone was happy that we were there, they had been waiting for us. We took our family picture, and then Santa went to work handing out the presents.

Now to be under the age of 10 in my family is gold, you know that pretty much every person who walks through the door got you presents. So all the little kids were all giddy with their piles and piles of presents. As you get older, that pile of presents diminishes, to the point where the older kids (I still call my generation kids) sit there at attention, hoping and praying that Santa will call their name. Of course, we've all ensured that everyone gets a present - all the cousins do a grab bag every year. But really, once we hit that age, the only presents we could hope for are from our grab bag person, our parents or our siblings.

Present opening time is always the best, because we wait until every present is handed out, then open the presents in a flurry of bows and wrapping paper.

I got some pretty good stuff, ranging from the "Serenity" DVD to Nike baby booties for Yano Jr. to a pasta bowl set to the full Buffy the Vampire Slayer Chosen collection. A pretty good haul this year!

Dave got some great stuff as well, scoring some new snowboarding goggles, an armstrap for his iPod Nano, and a baseball mitt and ball for Yano Jr.

Once the presents were over, it was time to go to the basement and lounge around, watching DVD's and playing games til dawn. We watched "The Family Guy" and "The Warriors" and played some poker (I lost $5). I could barely stay awake, so I ended up crashing at around 4:30am.

We all slept in the basement, some on the hideaway bed, me on the couch, some people on the floor, some people on chairs. I'm sure it's an interesting site to see, a bunch of grown people curled up on a floor sleeping!

Christmas day I was in and out of consciousness, half aware of what was going on around me. It was so nice to lounge around and sleep in for a day! We watched more movies, ate more food, and slept some more. It was perfect.

So even though I missed a lot of my favorite parts of Christmas, it was still great to be with family for the holidays.

I'd have pictures, but they're loaded on my crappy desktop at home...maybe tomorrow!

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

Just a real quick Merry Christmas to you all! Here's a pic of baby Yano at 22 weeks as a little Christmas gift to you...

Christmas is always here, and there's still so much I need to do!!! However, I feel so much more prepared than in previous years, and not as stressed out because this year I'm not hosting our family Christmas party.

But there's still a lot to do:

- Finish up my holiday cards (Happily, I've sent out 95% of them. They are holiday cards because people can expect to get them sometime during the holiday season, that is, before Jan. 1st)

- Make lasagna for the annual Christmas party

- Make sugar cookies for the annual Christmas party. Debating on frosting them or not

- Wrap presents

- Clean out the fish tank

- Buy a couple more presents

Hmm...I think that's all. The list looks so small, but it feels like its going to be a lot of work!!!

I should get to it! Bye!

...that's what my little boy is made of.

No, wait, what the hell are snips anyway?

Yes, IT'S A BOY!

90% of the people who predicted the sex of the baby said that it was going to be a girl. Dave and I had dreams of little baby girls. I did all those superstitious tests that is supposed to guess the sex of the baby - a girl. All the signs pointed to us having a girl.

But, there was no denying what was in between those legs.

Of course, when we were at our first ultrasound and he pointed out what he called 'the family jewels' I had to look really hard, and when he pointed it on screen, I remarked - "Really? They're so tiny!"

To which Dave scolded me, "Christine! We're taping this! He might watch it someday!"

When I went to get my 'official' ultrasound done yesterday, they looked much bigger. It was pretty much obvious that it was a boy.

The ultrasound itself was pretty cool. The baby was hiding his head most of the time (it's nice to finally use a pronoun to describe the baby) but we got some great shots. Since he's already been kicking for the last several weeks, I got verification that yes, it is kicking and not gas when I'd feel the kick and seem him move around in the ultrasound.

It was also verified that this little guy is on his way to being a big little guy. I hope he doesn't get too huge because that could cause some complications during the birth.

So yes, everyone, you can now rest easy this holiday season knowing that my baby is a boy!

I was really tired Sunday morning, so we decided to go to a later mass than usual. A new church has opened up near our home so we were thinking of checking out the 11:30 mass there. Dave had stopped by there a couple weeks ago to pick up a bulletin so we could find out the mass times, and he said it was a pretty nice, modern church.

As usual, we were late (Dave enjoys being 'the late family', which is the nickname that his family had at their church). We parked in the lot and I noticed that there were a lot of really nice cars in the lot, Mercedes, Land Rovers, BMW's, etc. Very different from the other church that we go to, which is a mishmash of average cars since there's a lot of working class immigrants that go there (we live in a predominantly Mexican suburb).

As we were walking towards the church, we noticed that people walking in were pretty dressed up. Women were wearing skirts and men were wearing nice pants and long winter jackets. I was starting to feel out of place in my khaki's and Sketchers. Dave commented on this, too. Our usual church attire consists of jeans, sneakers and whatever clean, respectable shirts we can find.

We walked inside, and something didn't seem right. Mass was just about to begin. I looked around, and as I had noticed earlier, everyone was dressed up. However, that wasn't the usual thing. Dave and I were the only Asians in there. Not only that, but we were the only non-Middle Eastern people there.

"Are you sure that this is a Catholic church?" Dave asked, noticing the same thing.

"I dunno, there's a crucifix up there, and the stained glass has saints on it." I responded.

We remained there, looking around us, bewildered. Then mass began. And they started singing. And it wasn't English. And I swear that I heard the word 'Allah'. The chanting went on, and I was thinking of getting out of there. Dave looked at me and said, 'Let's get out of here!" I nodded and we quickly exited.

Where were we? Was it a Catholic church? Why the chanting? Why didn't the priest come in with a cross like they usually do? Is this a Catholic church just for well dressed middle eastern people who drive really nice cars?

So many questions unanswered.

We ended up going to the 12 o'clock mass at our regular church, which is the Spanish mass. We're usually the only non-Hispanic people at the mass, but at least 40% of the time I can figure out what's going on because I took Spanish in school. It's pretty fun for me, too, because it's like going to Spanish class. The priest will often say something in Spanish, then translate it in English. But sometimes, he'll change the English translation. The Spanish version is usually a lot more interesting:

English: Come to our holiday church party, and bring your family and a dish to share. It will be a great way to meet your fellow parishoners and have a good time.

Spanish: Come to the holiday church party, and bring our family, your aunts and uncles, your nieces and nephews, bring everyone! Bring some tasty food for all of us to share. We'll have a great time and dance, sing and eat, late into the night to celebrate Christmastime!

My Spanish gets better every week!

Next time, we're going back to the weird church to check out the 9:30 mass, to see if it's still not-so-ordinary. I'll let you know what happens!

I don't think that Manny and Rachel will mind me breaking the news, since a) the news is pretty old and b) Pictures have already been sent out, but they had a baby earlier this week!

Dave and I just got back from visiting them and little Jayden, who is completely adorable and didn't mind it that the guys (by coincidence there were a couple other people there already) were laughing and talking really loud. He didn't cry or anything as I held him after feeding time, which makes me a little less nervous at this impending motherhood thing.

I'm so happy for them, and his birth has been and will be one of many. My friend Jen had a little boy earlier this year, as well as my friend Chariya, and my cousin Trully had a son a couple months ago. Another friend is due in early January with a boy, and two close relatives have just found out that they are expecting also (not going to say who until it's time, but no, it's not who you think it is). There are babies everywhere!

It makes me happy to know that my baby will have a lot of playmates (whether my baby is a boy or girl - I still haven't told you yet, right? *wink*). At last count, by the time my baby is a year old, there will be about 10 babies within my circle of friends/family that will be within 2 years of my baby, and that's not even counting the ones that are to come! It's madness!!!

Yet it's such a wonderful thing.

It's great to see Manny and Rachel as parents, I know this baby will be loved and he will be bored to tears by the thousands of U of I stories that Manny will tell him.

Welcome to the world, Jayden!!!

The day didn't start off too well...here's a brief timeline:

- Got home from the airport at around 1:30am
- Couldn't sleep til about 2:30am
- Woke up late, and had to catch the train because I had a doctor's appt. this morning. Couldn't find any pay parking spaces, so I parked in the permit only area. I'm anticipating a $30 ticket when I get back.
- Since I was late, there were no more express buses to my area, and I'm not going to walk the 1.2 miles in the slushy snow, so I took a cab, leaving me with $3 to my name
- Ran to McDonald's to eat breakfast - the doc said I should have something to eat before the ultrasound
- Instead of going into work, which I didn't time to do, I went straight to my doctor, lugging my 25+lb backback with me. Maybe it weighs more than that, I don't know. It's heavy. I thought I was going to die, especially after both legs started cramping up in the cold
- Got to my doctor's office, the lady couldn't find my appointment. Turns out she's been trying to call me for the last two weeks at home and at work to tell me that my appointment was moved to Tuesday. Sadly, I haven't been work the last two weeks to get that message, nor do we ever check messages at home. A $30 ticket, $7 cab ride and $4 breakfast wasted because I never got the message.
- THEN...I come into work (where I haven't been for the last two weeks) to this on my desk:

Yes, I work with bastards. One read headed bastard in particular.

However, I'll get my revenge when I make the poster sized pictures of all the blood and gore that will be the birth of my baby and hang them around his cube.

Is it the weekend yet?

I'm so tired of traveling right now. It's such a lonely life!

I miss you all at home.

I'm heading off to Santa Barbara today. I'm really starting to HATE traveling, more than I usually loathe it. Fortunately, I'm going to be with a fun bunch of folks, so that will make it a little more bearable.

Anyway, I'm going to start researching stuff for my baby registry and adding things to it.

I know you all love giving advice, so let's hear it - what should I buy? What things can I not do without? What things are unnecessary? What brands are the best?

Came back late yesterday night from Jackson, MS. I would have come back earlier, but my car wouldn't start (it's an old car and it was out in the cold parking lot for most of the week), but luckily, O'Hare has complimentary battery starts, so I only had to wait about 20 minutes for them to come by and give ma jump (there were a couple cars before me that they had to take care of.

However, that wasn't the most eventful moment of the night.

I had a connecting flight in Memphis, TN (where I had an AWESOME BBQ pork sandwitch). Once I got to my gate, I sat down, excited to try out the wi-fi at the airport. To my disappointment, it was $9.95 for 24 hours, and there was only about 40 minutes til my flight (30 minutes of which would be boarding time). So I just sat around and played with Photoshop.

I noticed a couple guys sitting in front of me, both wearing the same thing, jackets with 'Ole Mississippi Basketball Team' (it could have been just 'Ole Miss', but I don't remember). I thought, "Cool, I'm sitting near the basketball team. It was hard for me not to listen to their convo (well, I am a nosey little girl) which I thought was quite funny. They talked about various cheerleaders for their team that they thought were hot, how often they talked to them, what classes they shared with them. Just normal guys. Actually, the more I looked at them, the more I was surprised they were basketball players. They looked tall, but not as tall as I thought basketball players should be, even at a college level (remember I was standing next to that NBA player the last time I was in Jackson). They also seemed a little young to be on the team, seeming to be just out of highschool.

The called for people to board, and I saw them waiting to board, and they looked behind me and said to someone "See ya on the plane, man!" As they said that, a whole forest of trees passed by me to get on the plane. OK, it wasn't trees, but these guys were DEFINITELY basketball players. Tall, lean, and extremely confident. I figured these were the first string players. Turns out I was on the plane with the whole team, including the coaching staff. It was pretty cool.

But was that the coolest thing of the night?

No way!

My seat was near the front of the plane, so my group was chosen last. By the time I got on the jetway, there was a lot of traffic to get onto the plane, as we waited for people in front of us to pack away their carry on. I was standing in the front of the plane as I noticed various people staring at this man, some talking to him, some reaching out to shake his hand.

I looked at the man, who was a very big man, and I instantly thought, "Is that...no, it couldn't be! But maybe it is! I thought he'd be bigger, though. He's big, but not that big." I saw the coaches of the team look at this man with adoration, and later heard one of the guys on the team say, "Did you hear what coach said to him? He said, 'You're my idol, man!'"

Who was this guy? It was one of my favorite sports figures of my youth. Anyone who was born in the Chicago before 1980 will know who this is, even though he's never made any hall of fames or had any huge endorsement deals. He had a hand (a rather big one) in one of the most important sports moments in Chicago history - Superbowl XX.

You're lookin' at the Fridge, I'm the rookie. I may be large, but I'm no dumb cookie. You've seen me hit, you've seen me run, When I kick and pass, we'll have more fun. I can dance, you will see The others, they all learn from me. I don't come here lookin' for trouble, I just came here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Yes, I was in the same plane as William "The Refrigerator" Perry, better know as The Fridge. If you lived in Chicago in 1985, you'd know what a hero he was back then.

So I stood there, almost staring, listening to the man next to him blab on about taking Kyle Orton out of the game on Sunday and putting in Rex Grossman, as The Fridge nodded politely and smiled. I wonder how many times people talk football with him. He took all the adoration that was put upon him in stride, waving, shaking hands, and smiling (though I could hardly remember if he still has that gap in his teeth). I wanted to say something, but I was struck mute, as I usually am in the presence of celebrities. If I had my wits about me, I would have asked him to lay his hand on my belly and bless my unborn child, but looking back, maybe it was a good thing that I was struck mute.

No matter what would have happened on the rest of the ride, I would have the glow that I saw The Fridge that carried me through the dead battery and all!

I think this is a good sign for this year's Bears. I've got a great feeling!

I'm too tired to write out too many Christmas (or Holiday, for you heathens and Pagans out there :-P) cards this year, so I'm just going to send a lot of them online. Sure, it's tacky, but I'm pregnant and I don't care.

So if you want a holiday greeting from me, shoot me an email so I have your address. Mail me at kwannon[at]gmail.com.

I forgot to mention that I've been in Jackson since Monday. I thought I wouldn't have to go back here since I was pretty much finished with my project, but there were a couple things that needed a bit of fixing up and they sent me over here.

I've really come to hate traveling lately, moreso than I did before. It's hard to find a good meal - I'd rather either make meals for myself, or have the luxury of going to familiar restaurants to get food I'm craving for. Here, I have to eat what's available, which isn't much in the area I'm staying in. To add to that, I can't drink sweet tea! Well, not that I can't, but I'm really trying to stay away from it - gestational diabetes (the kind of diabetes that some pregnant women develop) scares me. I don't want to risk myself.

I'm really lonely, too. At home at least I can hang around at night with Dave or go into work if I'm yearning for personal interaction, but here I'm pretty much on my own. I'm working in this huge classroom all by myself most of the day, and then I go back to my hotel to be with myself. The only thing that makes that a little better is when I feel the baby kicking (YES!!! I FEEL IT NOW!!!). Other than that, it's pretty much just me.

But the city of Jackson is great - everyone is so friendly. I don't have a car so I've been walking a couple blocks to my client's office. Unlike most big cities, when you pass by someone on the street here, they say hello and ask how you're doing. A lot of the hurricane evacuees went here to stay, so I see FEMA busses everywhere here, dropping people off - I don't know where they're picking people up from - haven't seen anyone actually GET on a bus. The hotel I like staying at was unavailable, and I'm thinking that it's because there are Katrina people staying there, so I'm staying at the somewhat crappy hotel - you know, the kind where it's more like a motel than a hotel - you open your door and you're already outside.

But at least there's free internet!

So I'm going back home on Friday, earlier if I get all my stuff done, but I don't think that's going to happen. There's really no straight flight here, and it takes about 6-7 hours to get home. It sucks.

But at least I'll be going home in two days. Yay!

I got a lot of shit from Redpac on Friday when I came into the office. Why? Because he was jealous that I posted a happy birthday for Jen, but failed to mention to you, my readers, that his birthday was a mere 2 days before. I never knew he was such a whiny little baby until that day, such an attention whore that he needs his birthday posted on this site.

So here is my Redpac birthday post. He gets to revel in the glory of having his sunless Danny Bonaduce mug on the main page of this site.

It's not like he ever posted on my birthday...

...or that I get a bye because I posted about his birthday last year...

...or that I didn't post about several other birthdays that were this month, one of them being my best friends birthday, or that I rarely post about birthdays in general....

...or that I've hardly been posting at all lately because sleep is so wonderful...

But I'll make him happy, just he'll stop crying and leave me alone...

serendipity - ser·en·dip·i·ty, (sĕr'ən-dĭp'ĭ-tē) n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.

Serendipity is one of my favorite words. I learned it in second grade after reading a book about this girl who found a dragon in her backyard and named it Serendipty because she wasn't looking for it, but felt lucky that she found it by accident.

There's a lot of times that this happens in life, where you get these little surprises when you are least expecting them.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because I came back from my trip all grumpy and sour, and went into the freezer to get some ice cubes. Lo and behold, I saw a sight that I had forgotten was in the fridge - 4 half gallons of ice cream that Fatima and Mel bought when they were over last weekend. That's four containers of ice cream, JUST FOR ME! Muhahaha.

So of course, I ate some.

Well, a lot.

How can I say no to MooseTracks ice cream?

But have no fear, girls, I'll bring them over this weekend when I come over. I haven't had a chance to eat ALL the ice cream...yet.

Serendipity. Gotta love it.

I got back yesterday at midnight from a horrendous trip back home from West Virginia.

I finished up at my client site early, so they said I could just find an earlier flight home. Forunately for me, the 2pm flight out of WV was wide open - a lot earlier than the 7pm flight I originally had. I asked the lady at the desk how open the flight from Washington Dulles to Chicago was (which was my connecting flight) and she said there were a lot of seats. I was so happy to be getting on a 5:30 flight out of Dulles rather than the 9:55 flight I was scheduled for. Getting on that early flight would get me home at around 6:30, with enough time to watch LOST when I got home. Which was a good thing.

So I got to Dulles at 4pm from West Virginia, with about an hour to kill before my 5:30 connecting flight (which I was on the standby list for).

I was sitting at the gate at around 5pm (when they should have started boarding) when an announcement came on that there was a problem with the plane and anyone who had a connecting flight in Chicago needed to go to customer service ASAP. Anyone who's last stop was Chicago should wait to see what happened. After half an hour, the "couldn't find another plane" so the flight was cancelled. The 7pm flight which I was also on the standby for was packed because they scheduled the 5:30 customers (only about 1/4 of them) on it.

So I was left to sit in the airport for 5 hours to wait for my 9:55pm flight, really pissed that I was missing LOST.

So what did I do?

I ate.

A lot.

God bless Ben and Jerry!!!

I also brought "Big Fish" with me, so I was able to find an outlet to plug my laptop in and watched all the extras, and the movie with the commentary, so that passed the time.

Finally my plane boarded with no incident. I got on the plane (fortunately this time I was able to get an Economy Plus seat becuase my body is starting to get bulky). I fell asleep as soon as I got in my seat, only to wake up 15 minutes before landing, welcomed by the warm orange glow of the lights in Chicago. As an extra treat, the plane passed right alongside the downtown skyline, which always makes my heart go aflutter. I love this town!

...and I'm glad to be home.

...and I'm also glad that Fatima taped LOST for me...even if the last 5 minutes were accidentally cut off. She gets an A for effort and I love her.

Home!

I don't have much time to write because I'm going to the airport in a bit to fly out to West Virginia or some state like that...

Anyway, the Thanksgiving party was a success. We had a ton of food, so no one went hungry. There were enough seats for everyone, and it was a good time. I don't know why I stressed about it so much!

I did, however, forget to do a couple dishes. I had the bruschetta all ready, all that needed to be done was to spoon it on the toasted bread and bake it with the cheese, but I complete forgot about it. Which was actually quite fortunate, since I used a different kind of onion this time around which was so strong that it overpowered all the other flavors and set your tongue on fire. I also forgot to cut up the brownies, which hid in the corner of my kitchen, only to come out the day AFTER Thanksgiving.

The dirt was a hit, as it always is at parties. My dirt is made up of cream cheese, butter, chocolate pudding and milk surrounded by layers of crushed oreo cookies. Yumm.....so good!

Our college friend Walter came by to stay over for the holiday, which was pretty cool - we don't often get out of town guests who stay over. I made sure to fluff up our guest towels and brought out my guest sample shampoo, conditioner and lotion (which of course I stole from a hotel).

I missed out on my annual family get together, so Thanksgiving felt a little different. But Fatima and my cousin Marian came by to keep me company later on in the day. We played a couple games of Spades with Dave's cousin, and later on in the night taught Walter how to play a couple card games we used to play when we were kids. We laughed a lot.

Then we watched one of Dave's favorite movies, "Honey", something that everyone who comes to our place has to be exposed to at least once...

Good times!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Here I am, in the midst of the Thanksgiving cookfest, and everything is looking good. The sisters came over yesterday to help out a bit, so I'm pretty lucky. They're also preparing stuff for my family's side of Thanksgiving, which they'll be going to. Dave came home early this morning from work with a guest in tow - our old school chum Walter, in from San Fran for the holiday.

All I need to do now is the bruschetta and bake the salmon and lasagna, so they'll be nice and warm for the party.

I was thinking yesterday that there's ton for me to be thankful, this year as well as in general. After my company getting bought out again this year, I managed to dodge the bullet and keep my job. We're having a baby, an event that a lot of people have been anticipating for a long time. We're settling into our new home, slowly adding personal touches to make it our own (like Dave's 100 inch projector TV that he always shows off to guests.)

I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who care about me, friends, family, and even you guys that read here that I've never met before. There's my supprt group here in Chicago, but there are also friends near and far, all over the country that I'm thankful for. I've been lucky to meet such a wide variety of people through my various interests, be it work (though work is more of a necessity than an interest), short track, comic books, and other things. I've had so many wonderful opportunities and crazy adventures and experiences that they could fill a book. Which I might write someday. Under a secret name, of course.

Life is good right now. It's not the easiest, it might not be stress free, but it's good, I'm happy, and there's nothing I need to complain about.

Oh, and for all of you that have been begging for a belly pic, I've started a belly cam over on the side bar until I get my full length mirror out of the garage.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

This year, we're having Dave's family over for Thanksgiving.

I'm not talking about his parents and brother. I'm talking about the whole Dave family clan. Well, a lot of them - some of them had other plans already. I don't know if we'll beat the numbers of the annual Yano family Christmas, but it will be close.

This isn't an annual thing for them, I guess they used to have an annual thing, but haven't had one for a while. We were at a family party once and people were mentioning how they haven't seen our new house yet, and all of the sudden, we're hosting Thanksgiving!

Not that I mind. You all know that I have shindigs here all the time. But this is the first time that I'm hosting something for Dave's side of the fam, so I'm a bit nervous. That, and when I had my Labor Day party I told everyone I wasn't having parties anymore (because at the time I knew I was pregnant). Dave's on call today, so he won't be home to help with the preparations, not that he does a lot of good in terms of the cooking aspect of the parties anyway. He did clean the house from top to bottom last weekend, so that's done.

So I've been trying to think of what to have on our menu for tomorrow. Luckily, Dave's mom volunteered to do the turkey and bring over some other dishes. I've never done a turkey and not sure that I have the time.

I think I've got some pretty tasty dishes lined up:

Just a warning - this post is going to be really depressing, heartbreaking, and it just might make you cry.

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Today is my mother's 2 year death anniversary.

I remember when she first passed away, the VP at work in a rare candid moment told me that her mother died almost a decade ago, and there wasn't a day that had passed that she didn't think of her.

I never knew how true that would be.

It's not one of those things that seem like it was just yesterday. Sometimes it seems like it wasn't long ago, sometimes it seems like it was so far away. Life as I know it has changed so much in these past two years. Sometimes I even find myself forgetting some aspects of her. People have moved on with their lives, people keep on living. It's weird in some ways, sometimes I wonder how often she comes across their minds, too.

The depth of emotion I feel differs. Sometimes its a casual thought, something that reminds me of her, sometimes its much deeper and darker than that, nearing the deep darkness of the times right after she passed away.

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I know this whole pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous thing, and believe me, it has been. There has been enough happiness to go around with the coming of this baby. There's been nothing more I've wanted for a while.

But in a small way, it's bittersweet.

Because I want my mother here, to be here with me through this.

It's a selfish thought and any rational person would say, "Yes, but she's watching from Heaven!"

Yes, I know, but it's not the same thing.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who have been through this whole pregnancy thing, so there is a wealth of information out there and people who are happy to give me advice. From my friends to my cousin to my mother in law, there are people out there who have been helping me. But the one person who I would really have loved to be here, to answer my questions about my own birth, what it was like for her, what things I might run into isn't here. I've asked my dad, but really, how much does the husband really know about what their wives have gone through? That, and I don't want to trouble him by making it obvious that she isn't here to witness the birth of her first grandchild.

I can't relay to you how much I feel that I need her right now. It would be such a comfort to me to have her around, to show me the ropes, to share with me her stories of when she was pregnant with me.

I sometimes imagine what it would be like if she was still alive. When I'd tell her, she's be so happy she'd cry. She would say that she's so proud of me, and that has been waiting FOREVER to be a grandmother. She'd touch my belly and talk her baby talk to it. She'd give me tons of advice, maybe little stories about her pregnancies, things to watch out for. Then she would nag me to tears about taking care of myself - eating vegetables, not eating junk, getting exercise. She would laugh and say "How did I get a crazy daughter" when I told her about my grand pregnancy schemes and the various psychological experiments I'm planning on putting my child through. I would ask her to give me a play by play of each child she gave birth to, and pressure her to tell me which one of her daughters was the cutest child, not giving up until she relented and said it was me.

But I know she's not here, and she's watching me from up above.

The selfish, childish part of me really wishes she was here, though. There are times, when I'm so tired I'm lying in bed and I can't get to sleep, that I think of her. I normally end up crying, and the extent of that cry depends on how deeply I let myself fall into my sadness. I miss her so much, and I never had time to really let her know how much she meant to me.

Rest in peace, Mommy.

I love you.

One other first trimester thing I forgot to talk about were hot flashes. At times, My whole body felt warmer, I'd have the fan on and the window open to keep myself cool.

There were a couple times where it was only my hands that felt hot. One time, my hands felt so hot that I felt like they were going to burst into flames at any moment. They were almost burning. All I had to do was shout, "Flame on!" and my hands, then the rest of my body would spontaneously combust and I'd fly away in a streak of fire.

But that didn't happen. I just washed my hands in some cool water and felt a little better.

I just got in from Santa Barbara, where I spent a horrendous layover in LA since my plane was delayed 3 hours in South America. Well, it wasn't horrendous. It was actually pretty relaxing (I'm trying to de-stress myself, I don't think it'd be good for the baby to be stressed out all the time).

Lucky for me, I brought a couple DVD's that I've been meaning to watch. I've had the "Firefly" season for a while now, and haven't had the time to get to them til now (thanks Wally!). I never really thought of watching DVD's in the airport til Redpac told me he started bringing movies with him on trips and caught with with last season's "LOST".

Let me tell ya, when Firefly was on several years ago, I had only watched an episode. I think it was on a night that I had something else to watch or something - Firefly is done by the same guy (Joss Whedon) that did Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, so I doubt I would have missed it if I didn't have to.

Now that I'm watching it, I regret not watching it before. It's a great show. It takes a couple episodes to warm up to, but I'm really starting to like these characters. It's a mix of adventure, comedy and drama, all rolled into one. Kinda like a futuristic Western story, a crew on the run from the law, trying to survive and helping people along the way. I'm sad now that there's only one season of episodes to watch.

...and Yes, Walter, I'll go watch the movie...

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone doesn't admit that they don't know something.

Now one of the aspects of my job is helping other people out, answering people's questions. I don't expect people to know everything, I know that I don't know everything. But what annoys me are questions like this:

Them: "Hey, do you know how to fix blah blah blah?"
Me: "Yeah, just do x and x and x."
Them: "Ahh, yeah, that's what I thought. I was going to do that but I just wanted to make sure."

If that's what you thought, why didn't you mention it in the first place? Are you testing me? I don't think so. I think you're trying to get the answer but you don't want to look stupid because you didn't know the answer in the first place.

Hey, I ask questions from people all the time. When I get the answer to something I don't know, I say "Thank you" or "Oh, I didn't know that, thanks." Nothing wrong with admitting you don't know something.

I went to the doc on Monday for my monthly baby check. At my OB, they rotate you with different doctors so you get to know all the ones in the practice, in case your primary one is busy when you deliver, you aren't with a stranger. I was with a new doctor, who was very nice, but looked like a younger version of the scientist in the old hatch video on LOST.

Lately, I've noticed a little swelling - my wedding ring is tough to put on sometimes. Dave was a little worried that I was getting high blood pressure, too (which I guess goes hand in hand with the swelling), and said that he'd take my blood pressure, which of course, he never got to.

So during the exam, the new doc took my blood pressure. I was ready for an exclamation of, "Oh my, your blood pressure is getting dangerously high, we have to give you medication." But instead, he remarked to me, "Hmm, so you're one of those barely alive people, huh?"

"Huh? Barely alive?"

"Yeah, you've got a pretty low blood pressure."

"Oh, is that a bad thing?"

"No, not bad at all."

"Oh, ok. So, what was it?"

"90 over 60."

Which, of course, means nothing to my mind where the only medical terminology comes from ER.

"Oh...ok."

The rest of the exam went great. The baby's doing good, and everything is as it should be. I got some blood drawn, which was no big deal, and I got a flu shot, which hurt like hell. I felt like asking the lady, "Has anyone ever cried while getting this?"

So I have no idea what causes a low blood pressure. I would guess it's because I've been really tired. I always think that people who have hot tempers or lead incredibly stressing lives have high blood pressure.

When I got home, I needed answers, I needed to know if this low blood pressure thing as fatal, so I asked Dave.

"Hey, is having a low blood pressure bad?"

"No."

"But can anything happen from having a REALLY low blood pressure?"

"Yeah, if you have none, that means you're blood isn't moving, and that you're probably dead." He said that in his Dr. Duh! voice.

Well, then. I guess that explains that.

Well, the first trimester has been done for several weeks now, but I wanted to go through the interesting changes my body went through during this time - those crazy first trimester pregnancy symptoms. Beware, this might be a little too much information for some of you out there!

-"Morning Sickness" - I never really was sick in the morning, usually it was being extremely nauseous in the late afternoon to the night. At around 3:30 everyday, I'd feel like throwing up (but never allowed myself to) until around 7 or 8 at night. The only feeling that I can compare it to is when you're really drunk, and you know that after one more drink you're heading to the bathroom to hug the toilet. It's like that. Except for about 4-5 hours a day. I'd love to complain more, but hey, it's not like I was puking all the time....I only felt like puking.

- Moodiness - Dave will tell you that I've been really grumpy, but I beg to differ. Just because I tell him I hate him and he stinks about once a day doesn't mean that I'm grouchy. I'm just sensitive!!! But my moods have been up and down, but not too extreme...and you all already know about the crying part...

- Weight Loss - Yes, I actually LOST weight during the first two months of my pregnancy. I guess my body was working a lot harder than it was used to, so it was burning all my excess weight. I lost about 6lbs the first two months. Unfortunately, it's all come back, and then some!

- Tiredness - I have never been so tired in my life! I'd wake up in the morning, and I'd still feel so tired. I'm normally not a morning person anyway, but this was really bad. During the day, I just be so slothlike and the only thing I could think of was taking a nap. I was a total night owl before I got pregnant - going to sleep at around 1 or 2 in the morning, waking up at around 6. Now, I'd be lucky if I could keep my eyes open past 11 or 12, I normally fall asleep at 10, sometimes as early as 8. My internet time has greatly been reduced! However, I also end up waking up in the middle of the night to actually go to bed - I normally fall asleep on the couch. For some reason, I fall asleep on the couch easily, but when I go to bed in my actual bedroom, it takes me a while to sleep no matter how tired I am. I think I fall asleep easier with the sound of the TV on, rather than in the silence of the bedroom. Maybe I should ask Dave to sing me a lullabye or something so I can sleep easier. :-P

- I LOVE FOOD - People have asked me if I've had any weird food cravings. No, nothing weird like pickles and ice cream, or cereal and mustard (gross! *smirk*) However, I've had a craving for food in general, especially Mexican. I lie awake thinking of Chipotle's carnitas burrito, and have made Dave make a run to the border for me at Taco Bell to pick up a mexican pizza. Food is great! Food is fun! It's delicious!

- Feeling full - Although I loved eating, for some reason I would feel sickly full after eating (especially at night). I don't know if this had anything to do with the early evening sickness, but I'd feel so full that it felt like my stomach was puching my lungs up - it was hard to breathe. I knew it wasn't the baby, it wasn't really big enough to take up any room. It was weird.

- Pain in my ass - I have no other way to describe it other than there was a pain in my ass, so bad at times that it made it hard to walk. I later found out when talking to friends that this was the sciatic nerve that was being affected, and it happens to some pregnant women. I never really heard of this before, usually women who had leg cramps, but those can also be due to the sciatic nerve. I need to talk to the doc about this one, even though the butt pains have gone away. That wasn't something that was really pleasant.

- Boob pain - Yes, I know, too much information, but I think talking about the whole subject of pregnancy is an invitation to provide too much information. There's no way to talk about it without talking about some sensitive issues. Sensitive like my boobs. However, the boob pain/sensitivity is just a sign that they're getting ready to grow and produce milk. And who am I to stop my boobs from growing? That's the biggest perk of this pregnancy! Oh, next to that bringing a new life into the world thing. Dude, once my boobs get huge, I'm going to get some glamour shots done, just of my boobs, just to remember what they look like.

- Pee breaks - I know that women in the later trimesters have to go to the bathroom often because the baby is sitting on their bladder, but I didn't know that during the first months of the pregnancy I'd be going to the bathroom so much. There were times I was going every 15-20 minutes. It was crazy! Luckily I was working from home.

Hmm, that's all the things I can think of right now...

I felt the baby kick the other day when I was on the train.

....or maybe it was just gas.

I don't know.

But the books say that I should feel the baby's movements within the next month or so. I've been waiting for it, trying to become more in tune with my body, trying to feel it. I lie awake at night in silence, waiting for that little bit of fluttering that they say it feels like.

What I felt on the bus wasn't fluttering.

It was more like two little pops in my belly.

So maybe it was just gas.

*still waiting for kicks*

Since getting pregnant, I have cereal about twice a day. It's tasty, it gives me my folic acid and I get the calcium from the milk.

Dave and I sometimes eat cereal together, and just like every other thing between us, we eat our cereal very differently.

Dave pours a whole serving of cereal into his bowl, then pours milk, then eats it. That's it.

My way is a bit more complicated. I fill up my bowl with milk, then put a layer of cereal on the top, then eat it. When that layer is done, I put another layer, until all the milk is gone. In the end, I actually end up eating more cereal and having more milk.

I never learned how to eat cereal, so I don't know where I picked this up. When I look at commercials, they all do it the Dave way.

Am I weird? How do you eat your cereal?

I've been planning on bringing this up for a while now.

I'm a horrible mother....and I haven't even had the baby yet.

I've lied to you.

Well, not lied, but misled you.

Not that I did it consciously. I mean, I've been kinda loopy lately, which can be verified by anyone who's spent any time with me in the last couple months. I think they call it "the pregnancy stupids". I get confused easily.

Anyway, I reported a while ago that my baby is due on April 28th.

...and it's not.

It's actually April 26th. I can't even remember when the date is! I'm a bad mommy-to-be! I keep on telling people April 28th, probably because it's my friend Manny's birthday, and when I think of the baby being born I think of it being born so close to Manny's birthday, that for some reason I got the two dates mixed up.

I know that it's a small thing, but what if I had been going on with this charade? If the baby was born on the 26th, you all would have been like "Ohh! The baby was born 2 days early!", when in fact, the baby would be right on time. Mayhem would ensue and confusion would run rampant everywhere!

OK, maybe not, but I just wanted to let you guys know.

April 26th.

I'm sure.

I think.

Well, it'll be sometime around that date.

My favorite artist on the planet, Jim Lee, is having an auction for the Clear View School in Briarcliff Manor, NY. Clear View is a school for autistic and multiply disabled children. He made this awesome piece of Batman on 11x14 artboard:

Along with Jim, other artists have contributed pieces to be auctioned off as well.

The auction starts at 6pm EST this Saturday and the charity dinner runs $100 but I do believe you can call in with a bid in advice or perhaps even during the event. I am not 100% sure but the contact person to call who can you give the info is Anna Hlotyak at 914-941-4653.

For more info, check out his post on his site Sun of Gelatometti:

Sun of Gelatometti: 20th Annual Dinner Auction for Clear View School

Last Saturday, I went with my friend Jen, who had a baby several months ago, and Rachel, who's expecting her first in December to the annual Baby Fair, held by American Baby magazine. I really had no idea what to expect at this baby fair/convention. At comic book convention, you go to different booths and check out what new comics they have out, meet artists and writers and get sketches. I've been to trade shows, too, and that's usually a bunch of vendors showing off how much better their product is than then guy next to them. What happens at a baby fair?

We got to the Rosemont Convention Center (I refuse to call it by its slave name), and the area was PACKED. I knew that the annual ski and snowboarding show was going on (Dave had gone to it earlier that week while I was away - I was tempted to go myself!) but Jen also mentioned that there was a realtor show where Donald Trump was appearing at the same time. The main parking lot was full, so we had to park at an outer parking lot. There was shuttle service to the convention center. We got down to the shuttle area and there was a line of women with strollers waiting to get on the bus. It was a crash course for me on what kind of stroller to get because I was able to watch these women try to quickly and smoothly fold their strollers to get them on the bus. A lot struggled, having bulky strollers and having to balance their child at the same time, trying to figure out the contraption. Jen had no problem - since Rachel and I were there, she was able to hand one of us her baby, little Sam, and with one hand easily converted her stroller to folding position.

Once we finally got to the convention center, I realized that I'd never seen so many strollers and babies in my life. There were small toddlers walking around with their moms, there were little premie babies in strollers. It seemed like everyone either had a kid or was really pregnant. I felt a little left out because my belly is hardly showing yet.

There was SO much there. It seemed like ever vendor that had anything to do with babies was there, and the cool thing is that they were handing out freebies, too. I got 4 samples of baby bottles, a whole bunch of baby food, formula, stretch mark cream, and more stuff I can't even remember. I also got coupons for everything imaginable. By the end of the day, my free Baby's R Us Baggie was chock full of goodies.

We also attended a couple workshops - one from Bally's that showed exercises that you could do while pregnant, and then exercises you can do with your baby once it's born - little Sammy actually got picked to be the baby they used during the demonstration, and he was as happy as could be. The other workshop we went to went over nutrition while being pregnant, breastfeeding, and when to move your child to solid foods. During that workshop they were giving away prizes to people who answered questions right. I won a onesie (a one piece baby outfit) for answering the question "How many servings of vegetables should you have a day." Anyone know the answer? I knew it - it's 5. Then she asked me if I had all those servings, and I just smiled.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm lucky if I get away with 1 a day.

There was also a lot of activities for little babies, the most fun being the Baby Derby, which was a race for crawling babies. It was hilarious to just watch them sitting on the floor, not knowing what to do, while their parents sat at the finish line trying to coax them to crawl to them. One little girl started crawling to her mother and was the definite favorite to win, but just before she crossed the finish line, she looked at her mother who was screaming with excitement, got scared, and started crawling the other way. It was hilarious.

So anyone who is an expectant mother or who just had a child can go to this baby fair. You learn a lot and you can get a ton of free stuff. The major vendors are there, also, so you can try out car seats, baby toys, strollers, high chairs and things like that. I had a lot of fun with my gals, though I'm still a bit overwhelmed at all the things that are available out there for me to purchase!

Here's my pics!

The Baby Race!

Fisher Price Had a Play Area

Sammy Gets Some Exercise

Being an oldest child, I never had to wear hand-me downs - clothes that other people had worn already. My sisters, on the other hand, often got my old clothes (though they did get their own clothes, also). Outside of a couple of time when old cousins let me have their cool old outfits, most of my wardrobe has been new.

As of late, since my uterus has decided to pop out, I've realized that I need some clothes. I went shopping in West Virginia at the local mall, and didn't find anything that I liked. However, time is growing short - my belly is getting bigger (whether it's actually the baby or my late fondness for food, I don't know) and I don't fit into any more of my pants, and I really can't go into work in a pair of sweats - it just isn't professional. However, there is only so long that I can wear my current wardrobe of pants - and I'm already at my "fat" pants, and I have to inhale just to button them.

I went to my little cousin Jillian's birthday last Saturday, and I really didn't know what pants to wear, though I knew I wanted to be comfotrable. So I stopped by Target and bought a large pair of sweatpants. I put them home when I got home, and Dave remarked "Wow, you look like you're wearing pajamas." I told him it was really the only thing I could fit, and he left me alone. When I got to the party, Fatima laughed out loud and said, "What are you WEARING?!?!?! Those look like grandma pants!" Of course, everyone else had some funny insight to offer on my fat pants. A good laugh was had by all at my expense. Hell, I was comfortable! I never really cared about being fashionable. Ok fine, I do.

Here is the part where the ex-pregnant women come to the rescue! My cousin Trully and friend Chariya just had babies (Trully in September and Chariya last February) so they had a lot of clothes from that time. Actually, Chariya had given Trully a lot of her clothes, and Trully gave them to me. So my stuff is second generation. Or is it third? I always get mixed up with that generation stuff.

Anyway, so I got bags and bags of stuff from these lovely ladies, and I have yet to sort through them, but I've already worn some of them. Chariya said she swearsa by Old Navy maternity clothes, and I tried on a pair yesterday and I fit perfectly in them (with some room to spare, of course) and they were awesomely comfy!!! A much better fit than buying large sweats at Target!

So hand-me downs aren't as bad as I thought they were. Sure, I'm not the first person to ear them, but I'm thankful for the generosity of these fellow mothers. Along with my friend Jen (who is so tiny I could never fit into her clothes), who has given me a lot of advice, magazines, and stretchmark cream, I would have no idea what to do with myself during this time, and no one to ask questions. This motherhood thing is definitely something that bonds you with other women!

Coming up tomorrow: Jen, Rachel and Christine hit the Baby Fair!

edited 4:10pm ET

I'm going to make a post about all the symptoms and such that I've been experiencing since I found out I was pregnant, but this subject is massive enough to get a post all its own.

There was a point in my pregnancy where I was crying once a day...the littlest thing would set off the waterworks. Which got embarrassing when I would be on a plane a crying. Here's an example of some of the times I've cried:

Greetings from Charleston, West Virginia!

I don't think I've ever been in West Virginia before. I think I can cross it off my 'states I've visited' list now. Although I may have driven through it as a kid - we went on a ton of road trips when I was a kid, driving all along the eastern part of the US. To tell the truth, the only states I'm SURE I haven't been to are the nothern mountain states, like the Dakotas and Montana.

Anyway, I'm in mountain country. My client is actually located at the top of a mountain, and as a flatlander, the drive up there is quite terrifying. There's a bunch of twists and turns driving up the mountain, and it almost feels like you're driving straight up. The end is worth it, though, because they have this fantastic view of the valley. Autumn is in full swing and there's a bit of fog that lingers in near the river, and the colors are amazing. I'll have to take a picture of it tomorrow if it isn't raining.

Because it IS raining right now. So the terror that I felt driving up the mountain was increased tenfold when I was driving back down - in the dark and in the rain. I was riding the brake the whole time!!! But I made it back to my hotel alive, no thanks to these crazy left turn lanes that seem to be all over the town.

I stopped by the local mall to check out some clothes since my work pants are getting tighter (which is a post all in its own). Looked at the local maternity store and the clothes were OK, and not as expensive as I was led to believe. Yet still not as cool. I checked out the department stores, but they didn't have a maternity section. I've got a wedding to go to in a couple weeks and I need to find something to wear, but I want to look good! What's a girl to do?

I'm at the San Francisco airport right now on a layover, munching on sushi and reveling in my wi-fi connection. Won't get home tomorrow til 5am! *yawns*

If you're on IM right now, feel free to chat because I'll be bored...

Here's a post I wrote yesterday, but my internet connection died before I could post it....

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Their Lives Are In My Hands

Usually when I travel, I get a car, an intermediate size, if it's available, usually something like a Pontiac Grand Am or a Taurus or something.

Since my flight came in late on Monday, the only car they had left was a Chrysler Sebring convertible. I haven't driven a convertible since the sister vacation to Orlando, when we got that smoking Firebird convertible and I got pulled over by the cops. But I was pretty stoked to get one this time around, because I'm in California. Then again, I really haven't had a chance to bring the top down, but hey, at least I know I have that ability, right?

Normally when I'm at a client site, for lunch I either go with my clients to the cafeteria or go off on my own for lunch. Sometimes I go out to lunch with the clients and they drive me to wherever we're eating.

However, this client doesn't have a cafe, and their parking lot is pretty huge, so it's a long walk to any of their cars. Since I'm a visitor, I get parking right in front of the building. So they suggested that I drive.

I admit, I'm not the best driver in the world. When I'm on my own, I'm pretty confident, but when there are other people in the car, it makes me nervous. I mean, I'm responsible for their lives! Especially with clients. How am I going to explain it to my manager if something happens? "Hey, I'm sorry, but I killed a client the other day..." I find it weird that my clients trust me with their lives, especially since I don't know the area too well and they're telling me directions.

Of course, I could look at it the positive way and say that this is because they like me and trust me. Well, I'm pretty sure they like me - they've signed up for another week of consulting from me, just to hang out while they test the product.

Which makes me extra careful when driving - I mean, who would I come back to if they're in the hospital becauase of my bad driving?

:-P

I've got my little baby countdown going on up here, which seems to be required for any blog of a woman who is expecting a child. So you all can keep track of my li'l one just like I am.

Question: Are you guys seeing it with a white background, or is it clear? The reason I ask is that if anyone is using a darker layout, they can't see the text...

I have been waiting for a long time to say that!

When my mother passed away 2 years ago, I was at an all time post-college weight low. Having lived in California for several months and being fortunate enough to have a 3 month contract at a client site with a sushi restaurant (and they paid for my dinners), I had lost a lot of the weight that I had gained after college.

But when my mother passed away, there was that whole week of family coming over and bringing food. Who could say no to all that delicious Filipino food? I gained 5lbs that week, and over the next couple years, gained about 15 more. I hit my personal weight high mark sometime this year. I've tried exercising more, but anyone who knows me know that if it isn't dancing, then I'm not going to like exercising. I just didn't have the drive to exercise or control my appetite - it comforted me, it was a way for me to deal with stress.

Of course, when I started feeling fat and my belly was getting a bit chubby, I suspected that I might be pregnant. That would certainly explain the extra pounds. A pregancy test later, I discovered, no, that was not the case. I wasn't pregnant, I was just fat.

But now, hey! I'm not fat! I'm pregnant. At least that's the excuse I can use for the next 6 months. Then it's up in the air as to how much weight I'll really have to lose to get to my ideal, healthy weight. The sad thing is that currently people who see me wouldn't think that I was pregnant, strangers would think, "Aww, look at that chubby Asian girl! She should stop eating that carnitas burrito and go for the salad!" Hopefully in a month or so, I'll get more of that "pregnant" look.

Funny thing is, during the 1st and 2nd month of pregnancy, I actually lost about 6 pounds. I hadn't increased my food intake, so I guess that little embryo was just sucking up all my weight and converting it into baby growing energy. Of course, once I realized I was with child I started eating like there was no tomorrow, so I gained it back in the last month.

Don't worry, all, once I get home I'll take some pictures so you can see me in all my knocked up chubbiness!

I'm in Santa Barbara right now, and I was shocked to get on the internet and see this headline:

Civil Rights Pioneer Rosa Parks Dies at 92

I had to pause for a moment, realizing that I always thought of her as this constant, this icon that lived out in Detroit, that was the spark that lit the fire of the civil rights movement, with just one action - refusing to give her seat to a white man.

You know, people often say, "What can I do? I'm just one person..." Rosa Parks is the proof that one person standing up for what she thinks is right, can change society. She didn't use violence, she didn't make long speeches whining about inequality, she just refused to give up her seat. But that action started a bus boycott that began the civil rights movement.

Even after that, she led the rest of her life in the quest to teach the youth of America about civil rights, and to turn them into future leaders.

When South African freedom icon Nelson Mandela came to Detroit in 1990, the person he was most honored to meet was Parks. When he got off the plane, a line of dignitaries waited to greet him. Mandela simply stood in awe when he saw Parks. "He chanted, 'Rosa, Rosa, Rosa Parks!'." recalled Keith, who had escorted her to the airport to meet Mandela.

"He recognized her before he recognized anyone," Keith said.

Mandela later told Keith that Parks was his inspiration while he was jailed and her example inspired South African freedom fighters.

Mandela called Parks "the David who challenged Goliath" in a 1993 speech at the NAACP convention in Indianapolis.

The best-selling poet and writer Maya Angelou said of her, "Mrs. Parks is for me probably what the Statute of Liberty was for immigrants. She stood for the future, and the better future."

Angelou recalled the pleasure of having Parks as a guest at her home in Winston-Salem, N.C., several years ago.

"She was as tender as a rose and she was as strong as steel."
Detroit Free Press