As much as I change layouts on this site, I'm really resistant to change. I love the comfort and security of something familiar, something I can rely on and unchanged.

After I moved out a couple years ago, Fatima moved into my old room in my childhood home. She really didn't do much to it other than clean it up a bit - a lot of my things were still under the bed and in the bookshelves. I could always go back home (it had always been 'home' to me) and it would still be my room.

However, my dad has been remodeling. He's been putting in hardwood floors, and is switching rooms with Fatima. The home I once knew has been changing a lot. Since they're switching rooms, they totally cleaned out Fatima's room, meaning that they cleaned out a lot of my stuff.

They brought it all over today, boxes of books, papers, letters, and memories. It's a little sad, in a way, because that part of me that I left at my old house is no longer there. It's almost like my memories were evicted. At first I didn't know what to do with the boxes, but then realized that I really needed to just throw a lot of it out, since we have nowhere to put it here.

That meant going through a lot of memories and deciding which ones I would carry on with me here, and which ones will meet the bottom of my garbage can. Old bills, picture frames from high school, old notes from friends, Christmas cards from years past, printed emails from old boyfriends and guys that could have been boyfriends, movie stubs, old computer manuals, stuffed animals from amusement parks, all gone.

There are some people who never keep these little mementos, who are happy with just remembering the moments that are associated with these time. However, I'm not so blessed. I have an awful memory so I need these keepsakes to remind me of different moments in my life. But I know that these things start to pile up, and half the things that I keep I will never look at again unless I'm moving around boxes. But, nonetheless, it was sad to say goodbye to these things. I felt like I was closing a door to a part of my life, and in a way, I was.

There were some things that survived the cut, like my eighth grade autograph ribbon, cards from my parents, old flyers from when I was publicity chair for PSA, or my GRE scores (they're good enough for me to want to keep and remind myself that I used to be smart) or all of my programs from musicals I've gone to.

But so goes my life lately....closing a door to an old life and slowly accepting the new life that I am destined to lead...

Posted by Yano at March 7, 2005 01:09 AM

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