What it boils down to is TRUST and INTENT of your SO when talking to the other person.

That's why trust is the foundation of any relationship then comes the love etc. etc.

For me I am finally in a relationship with trust, and I am learning to believe in it. I consider myself a VERY lucky guy.

I chat with people while playing card games on the internet. There is a group of us (there are about 10 of us) who chat. There are men and women and it is pretty much just chat. My husband knows I chat with these people and has no problem with it.

I don't see any harm in chit-chat. In fact, to take it a step further, even flirting is healthy. I think in a secure relationship this should not bother anyone...

I don't think chatting with someone of the opposite sex should be a problem. I guess it depends on what you're chatting about. A few friends and I flirt, but it's harmless banter because they know I'm happiy in my relationship and just kidding around :) The boyfriend doesn't know, but he trusts me not to do anything stupid like messing us up.

I see no problem chatting with the opposite sex, be it late at night, with several other people, etc. So long as no naughty things is going on, because I'm in a relationship. There should be no prob :)

Yeah, I agree with Sinta. It's *always* okay to chat with the opposite sex, regardless of relationship status -- as long as the conversation isn't inappropriate.

I see NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER with talking to someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship. As long as you aren't cheating on your SO, I don't see what is wrong with it? That seems so.. elementary school lol. "OMGGGG you have a friend THAT IS A BOY OMG YOU WILL GET COOTIES!!". I mean, you know what I'm saying? There is an age where you are mature enough to develop relationships with people of the opposite sex, so I see NOTHING wrong with it at all. There is NOTHING wrong with chatting online, talking on the phone, whether or not you know the person IRL or not, and just because your SO doesn't know you're chatting with them does not make it a bad thing unless your intentions are bad to begin with. Unless you have bad intentions, I could be married talking to another married man, and there would be nothing wrong with that. What if we just shared interests? There is absolutely nothing wrong with two people chatting together who shared insterests or just enjoyed each others' company.

my gut answer didn't change after I answered the other Qs....it's fine as long as it's an appropriate convo...I've always had guy friends and h knows that :-)

I find it perfectly ok a scenario so long as all parties are aware of each others situations, and even then, so long as it is all only in fun I still have no problem with it at all.

I will answer no and my answer comes from experience. I was on a board and met some people. PMing someone is slow if your trying to have a conversation. So the group started to IM. Which evetually led to me and one of the other people having an internet relationship. We started off as friends and it grew to be something more and it almost crossed into the real world. It almost broke up my relationship with my fiance. It ended up that my actions hurt two people. So I would not reccomend it.

Here's my take on it:

I think it's ok. I chat all the time, with girls, guys, animals, you name it. To me, chatting is a much more impersonal thing than talking on the phone, or seeing each other face to face. I'm on the internet at night anyway, surfing, working on my site, checking the news, playing poker, I don't see anything wrong with chatting with someone to make the time go by.

Of course, the intent of the chatting is also a big factor. I don't chat to flirt, I don't chat to fool around or look for a relationship. I'm perfectly happy in the one I'm in right now. I always make sure that the other party knows my intentions so my chatting isn't taken the wrong way.

Now, if you're chatting with someone, and you're deliberately hiding it from your significant other, or you're setting a time to chat with just this person, or giving the impression that you might be headed somewhere with this person that you're not, THEN there's a problem.

To me, chatting takes about 15% effort, which is minimal for a multitasker like myself. However, calling someone on the phone takes a lot more effort. If you're on the phone late at night with someone of the opposite sex who isn't related to you or you're not in a relationship with, then that could be a red flag.

Then again, there's exceptions to everything. It all goes back to what is understood between both parties.

Thanks to everyone for participating. Keep the comments coming - especially if you have different views. *aquaman*