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This is Sam, Yano's Best New Friend of 2004. If you don't believe it, Check Out Number 38
I'm honored to be a guest poster, and I'll do my best to entertain you. I think a good way to start this off is to relate to you some of the funny, interesting, strange and ghastly things I've seen so far at this new company.
For instance, just today I was blackmailed into allowing Yano to throw body butter at my crotch. And not just the butter itself, but the whole jar. Why would I allow this? Payment for her and Redpac bringing me lunch, while I was stuck answering phones. The terms of this deal were not fully introduced to me until after I had eaten, and the alternative was to pay $40 for $8 worth of food. Luckily, Yano is a girl, and she throws like one too. After THREE tries, my 'area' was only grazed, and the butterflies in my stomach from the anticipation/dread of the whole ordeal lingered only for a couple hours...See? It's not so bad here!
Besides all the computer jargon and industry rhetoric [terms such as 'functionality' and 'bandwidth' get tossed around about twenty times a day], every once in awhile, I hear a great little gem now and then from the twisted and depraved minds of these crazy and fun people:
Top Five Comments
5. "His heart's not cold, but his hands are." Spoken about me by a male co-worker. I'm not going to go into details about this one.
4. "I sprinkled rat poison in the sandwich and he never stole my lunch again." Self explanatory. I don't think I've shared lunch with this guy since.
3. "My ass has amazing powers!" Yano likes to throw her influence around the office. Not that I minded it or anything. You may have read about this one here.
2. "You're not Superman. You're more like Aquaman. He sucks." You haven't heard articulate conversation til you've talked to Redpac. Someone referred to me as Clark Kent when I wore my glasses to work. The intelligent dialogue then ensued.
1. "Did you get it up yet?" From Yano to me, concerning testing an application on my computer. At least that's what I think she was talking about...
Well, my friends, I hope that's enough of an intro to whet your curiousity. I'll do my best to create loads of sparkling infotainment for you all in Yano's absence. I was going to see "White Noise" and post a review, but it's been receiving subpar reviews, so I might end up spending my $20 elsewhere. I have seen "House of Flying Daggers", so maybe a review of that one will be forthcoming. Plus I have tons of other stuff I can talk about. Maybe one day I'll have my own blog...
Yano, have fun on your trip! And don't eat too much powder, it's not good for you!
Posted by Sam at January 7, 2005 11:48 AMListen, Poo-Boy, I was saving your manhood by throwing that body butter lightly at your crotch area. It was a pretty small target, so of course it would be hard for me to hit. Just wait til Redpac gets those videos up.
Maybe instead of paying $20 to see a movie, you can rent for $4 and use that money for snowboarding, insteading of complaining that it's going to cost you so much.
One more 'she throws like a girl' comment and your head gets photoshopped on Anna Kournikova's body - while she's kissing Enrique Iglesias.
Posted by: Yano on January 7, 2005 11:55 AMSo when is the Sam Cam gonna get set up? ;)
Posted by: noelle on January 7, 2005 12:48 PMthat is just not write Yano
Posted by: Master Foley on January 7, 2005 01:16 PMI'm intrigued!
Posted by: la chica alta on January 7, 2005 01:33 PM
