|
|
A couple weeks ago Dave and I were at home, just hanging out. Dave went upstairs to do something, and then called out my name. "Christine! Come here! You gotta see this!"
I went over to the stairway and he stood there pointing at the wall. I looked to where he was pointing and saw one of the biggest, strangest bugs I've ever seen. It looked like it would have been the love child of a millepede and a daddy long legs. It looked huge and hairy - like the Chewbacca of bugs. In a word, we were terrified.
"Kill it." Dave said.
"What? No way! You kill it!"
"Come on! Kill it!"
"You're the man, you kill it."
"Fine, we'll both kill it."
So we tried to figure out to kill the beast. We knew that we may only have one shot, and if we failed it would attack us and quite possibly, kill us. We were thinking of using the slipper as our murder weapon, but the monster was a bit out of reach. We thought of the rubberband method, but we couldn't find any rubberbands. I then told Dave of a method that I used at home to kill millipedes and silverfish - 409 cleaner.
"What?"
"Yeah, I think the chemicals burn up their insides. It works for me."
"But that thing is a lot bigger than your average bug, Christine!"
"What other choice do we have?"
"Fine. You get the 409."
"Ok, but you're the first one to try it!"
So I got the 409. Dave dangled off the stairway and aimed it at the bug. He sprayed several times. The animal started scurrying. We both ran down the stairs screaming like little girls.
"It's on the move!" we cried to each other, waving our arms around and running in circles.
The 409 did nothing. Well it did something. It just made the supermillipede-beast angry. We had to try again. I was sure my idea of the 409 would work. I grabbed the 409 from Dave and ran up the stairs. I sprayed the bug, screaming as I did so. I followed the bug as it moved across the way, running down the stairs as I did so.
Nothing. Just a wet wall and an even wetter bug. I'm thinking that this 409 mutated bug was actually getting stronger and bigger as the night wore on. After a couple more failed attempts, the bug was within reach. I ran down and grabbed Dave's slipper. I measured the distance. If I missed this time the bug would be getting a lot more pissed that the repeated sprayings with 409.
I raised the slipper and hit it.
When I raised it again, there were only the furry legs left on the wall. The body was gone. The body was gone!!!
Then something fell from the slipper. The lifeless carcass of bug-beast.
I screamed, dropped the slipper, and ran down the stairs, leaving Dave for cleanup duty.
If we could have mounted the head of that thing on the wall we would have. We were the victors that night! Master hunters of the thousand legged beast!
Posted by Yano at December 4, 2004 12:03 PM*shudders* gah i hate bugs! I prolly would of past out lol
Posted by: Dee on December 4, 2004 12:40 PMNext time, just use the 409 bottle to kill the bug. It works every time. :)
I would have paid good money to see that. I'm cracking up just reading the account. I can't even imagine the live version.
Posted by: Texx on December 4, 2004 12:52 PMWimps! *wink* Although I'm the same way with roaches. With spiders I catch them and release them outside in the yard.
Posted by: Melinda on December 4, 2004 12:52 PMyou, my dear, are very brave!! i am terrified of even tiny critters, and for some reason, can't smack them directly [i've been known to throw sneakers and miss, haha]. i also use bug spray, haha. but they don't seem to work as fast as i'd like.
i wish i were brave enough to just catch them and let them go.
a friend suggested i buy this: http://www.oreck.com/special-offers/bug-vacuum.cfm?keycode=CK691
which i did! haha. i haven't used it yet, so can't tell you if it works. but your mutant bug sounds like it would have been too big for it anyways?
funny story!
Posted by: slurpee on December 4, 2004 01:17 PMOh I wish I could have been there! I'm with Melinda on this one, I would have scooped it up in something (envelope works best) and released it outside. But Hey I guess the 409 would work too. LOL
Posted by: Pridey on December 4, 2004 04:38 PMwe personally would have used an extension hose on the HOOVER
Posted by: gross on December 4, 2004 07:13 PMOh my god, that is so funny! Something like that happened to me. If you get a chance read the post entitled "The Tale of the Tarantula" on my blog.
Have a great day!
Posted by: angie on December 4, 2004 09:50 PMlol What? No picture? ;)
Posted by: Erina on December 5, 2004 02:47 AMOh god, I hate bugs, I had this one in my apartment once, i don't know what the hell it was, Bug killer didn't even kill it, i was like wtf.
Posted by: Jolene on December 5, 2004 07:16 AMPridey - the only bugs that get the stay of execution in my home are ladybugs and spiders. Creatures of unknown species get the slipper!
Erina - I seriously debated on taking a picture of it to share with you guys, but I know it would have just angered the beast even more!
Posted by: Yano on December 5, 2004 09:15 PMI laugh only because I know how you feel. Remember our basement when we were kids? The one on Francisco? Every once in a while there were yucky millipedes and I always ended up spraying it with Windex to kill them. Thank God my parents don't live there anymore 'cuz I'm sure there is a generation or 2 of millipedes in that house that are chemical resistant!
Posted by: Irene on December 6, 2004 05:31 AM
