so i'm in the stall doing my thing and i see this dude
in a business suit through the stall door crack walk
past and go into the stall next to me.

hes all grunting and making all kinds of splashy
noises. its over and he starts scrubbing away at his
asscrack with toilet paper. you could totally hear it
and it sounds like he's sawing wood in there.

then the dude just gets up and leaves. no flushing.
no hand washing. not even after all that manhandling
of his bunghole! of course after i finish washing my
hands (cuz i do those kinda things),i take a peak when
im on my way out and the dude left this huge zucchini
sized nug in there, half sticking out of the water
with the ass paper arranged away from the turd in an
obvious attempt to highlight its magnificence.

naturally its at that point when someone decides to
walk in to see me by the stall. i panic and start for
the door and notice as i'm leaving that he's staring
at business suit guy's monster turd, no doubt thinking
that I'M the no-flusher/no-hand-washer.

busted for a crime i didnt commit...