Watching Divas Live on VH-1 right now...

9:02 - It's the opening, Patti La Belle is doing Lady Marmalade, and her girls are coming out on stage. Here's Jessica Simpson, who has the most amazing boobs I've ever seen. Perky, round and full. She's working it in that black dress. Lucky bitch. Cyndi Lauper is out, too. I never knew she could belt out music like that! Cyndi, I love you!

9:05 - The women of the Apprentice are out. Everytime I see Omarosa, I want to hiss and boo. But girlfriend has an awesome pair of legs. But still, I get the biggest urge to scratch her eyes out.

9:08 - When did Deborah Harry start looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor in fatigues? Eve looked HOT in her Farrah Fawcett 'doo and thigh high stockings....she's come a long way!

9:11 - Joss Stone is stunning. I'm not just talking just about her looks, I'm talking about that sexy sultry voice that you would never expect to come from this 17 year old blond Brit. She kind of reminds me of a really soulful Janis Joplin. I'm really diggin' her. But I'm tired of the song....what's coming out next from her?

9:20 - Jessica Alba. Woke Dave up from his nap to see his 'Jessie'. Not enough air time. Dave almost misses her whole intro. Is it really her? The camera is too far away. Jessica is introducing Ashanti. Come on, Ashanti is SO five minutes ago. :-P

9:26 - I love Tyra Banks because she's one of the most beautiful women in the world, and she's got HIPS. Gotta love that. But today, she looks a little weird. I think it's the non-existent eyebrows. Or maybe the wild-n-crazy orangish-brown hair.

9:36 - Ever since I was little, I adored Sheila E. She was a woman in a field that you just didn't get a lot of women stars in, and whenever she played the drums she had so much energy, so much fire and sass. Even now, she's still as strikingly beautiful as she was when I was a kid. As much as I love Cyndi Lauper, I wish she'd get some normal hair! I like it that Cyndi's range didn't go into the ear piercing whininess that had marked her earlier career. I love the maturity of her singing voice now....even though her normal speaking voice is still kinda squeaky.

9:42 - I would never had thought that Pattie La Belle and Cyndi Lauper were as close as they were, but I guess Patti is the godmother to Cyndi's son. How cool is that?!? After a little technical snafu, Patti joins Cyndi in a duet of one of my favorite songs - 'Time After Time'. Wow. This is just magical. I'm getting chills up my spine. I've never heard it done like this before...two such different styles of singing merging to beautifully into one. I hope I can find this somewhere online, this is a keeper! Oh, and Patti homegirl threw in True Colors! Wowza. I'm spazzin' here. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. I'm breathless.

9:56 - Still reeling from Cyndi and Patti. Next up, Jessica Simpson, who looks like a Greek goddess, a rather cold one, in a long white flowing dress. You know, I never really liked her remake of 'Take My Breath Away'. I love Jessica's voice, but I just don't like her take on that song. Then she goes into a rendition of 'Loving Angels Instead', which is excellent. She has such a wonderful voice! But when she sings she kinda looks like a woodpecker, and her face makes some weird contortions. But still, she does the song well.

10:07 - Patti again. Definitely timeless. But a little part of me is whispering 'do an encore of Time After Time!'

10:17 - The Pussycat Dolls. Nice bodies. And nice to see Carmen Elektra singing after her singing career didn't take off in her post Prince years. Sexy and they can sing, too. Where can I sign up? Oh, forget it. Too short. Then Tom Jones comes out. Wish he sang 'It's Not Unusual', but that's ok. Dave says he looks like Andrew Dice Clay. I think he looks a little leather and plastic. What happened, Tom?

10:28 - Blondie, the band. Um...it's ok.

10:33 - Joss Stone joins Blondie singing 'One Way or Another'. Joss looks to be having the time of her life singing and dancing barefoot with Debbie. She is just the cutest thing!

10:43 - The amazing Gladys Knight. When I was a kid, I loved her, she was classy, she had such a presence about her. And she reminded me of my Tita Rosie. She has such a lovely smile! She does a great rendition of 'Memories'. Then the young divas Joss and Jessica come out to sing with her. Joss ends her bit with an enthusiastic, 'I just sang with Gladys Knight!' Jessica can sing, but she needs to get a little more soul in her moves!

10:59 - Cyndi starts off the finally with, what else, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'. And Holy Shit! Sheila E is out doing Glamourous Life! Awww.....yeah! I love her! Did I say that yet? Play those drums, woman! Damn! That's hot! She kicks ass! Debbie Harry's doing 'Call Me', and she sounds the same...she just looks so different! Next up, Ashanti...cute. Joss comes up next, that little white girl with soul, singing Sting's 'Set Them Free'. Jessica does Steve Winwood's 'Higher Love', I don't know why she chose that one, nor why she looks so much like Morticia Adams' blond sister. The Pussycat Dolls do 'Girls on Film'. Meeeeow! Oh Tom, I love that chocolaty voice! I just want your extra time, and you're *smack* KISS! He sure was hot in his day. Maybe not today, but in his day. Last up, Patti La Belle singing 'New Attitude'. You know, I miss her weird wacky hair/hat things that she used to have. Remember that?

So that's the end of the show. Hmm...it was ok. Kinda mediocre for me, outside of the performances of Sheila E and the duet with Cyndi and Patti...

Posted by Yano at April 18, 2004 09:04 PM

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