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One topic I've been thinking about a lot lately is jealousy. I don't really see myself as an extremely jealous person, but I do get jealous now and then. But there's different levels. There's the kind of jealousy that you feel when someone you don't like gets something you want - whether it's a material item or something happens to them that you wished happened to you. This kind is a little more extreme because you have negative feelings for the person. But there's also a lesser jealousy, where you don't necessarily hate the person, but you still wish you were them. The lowest level is the pang of jealousy you feel for a friend or someone very close to you, who gets a stroke of good fortune, and you're sincerely happy for them because you know they deserve it, but still, that little voice in your head whispers, "I wish that was me!"
I was talking with a friend about this, and she had said that the last level was what she saw 'envy' to be. I never really thought about that word much. Is 'envy' a word that you use when you're happy for someone, yet still want what they have? I think the times I've used the word 'envy' it's been towards a person as a whole - 'I envy her.' Meaning: 'I envy her life.' I think I get my kind of envy a lot, not that I don't love my life, but I'm so curious about other people's lives, other people's experiences that I want to live them as my own. Hmm...almost seems 'Single White Female'-ish.
Sometimes I don't understand when that first jealousy gets out of control, where you hate someone just for the fact that they have something you want, something you wish you had. I've never been malicious towards someone because of that sort of jealousy, but it's something I feel that I see so often. I just can't fathom it.
OK, fine. I've been lying to you. In kindergarten I purposely gave this girl a papercut by throwing a piece of paper at her, because I was jealous that she had pierced earrings and I didn't. But that was the last time. :-P
Posted by Yano at April 18, 2004 11:25 PMhmm, I don't necessarily think being envious is a bad thing. I remember talking to one of my friends about how envious I was towards him (he had lots of friends and was a good dancer) and to my surprise, he said that he was envy of me as well!
Cool site btw!
Posted by: manny on April 18, 2004 08:48 PMI think you are right about levels, and boy, do we ever see that bad jealousy thing happen ALL OF THE TIME.
Envy is defined as, "a feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another." So, if you ask me, I think it's pretty much the same thing as jealousy.
As for if it's a bad thing or not, I think that is determined if/when any resentment begins. Ya know?
Like, I can say that I'm jealous of the html skills that Yano has, and the artistic skills that April has, BUT it's not something that I resent you for. So, now that I say that, maybe when I say that, I mean to say "admire". So, maybe that's not a good example. hahaha How about ST Worlds. I was jealous that the people that went were there and I wasn't, I guess, but I was so glad that my friends got to go. I would never have wanted to take that away from them. Hmmmmm, maybe all of these years we have all been using the wrong word. I'll have to get on this.
Yano, why did you do this to me? hahaha Coach Princess needs to rest some time!!!
Posted by: Tex on April 18, 2004 11:54 PM*raises hand*
I'm the one who gave that definition of envy. You're still thinking about this?
To me, envy is harmless. It's
'wow, that's so cool, I think it's awesome that you have/did XYZ, and I really wish I could have/do that too.'
Whereas I think there is nothing positive about jealousy. It's when it causes you to feel hostility to another person. You'd almost prefer for them NOT to have what they have rather than you just want it for yourself. It's totally self-destructive!
Right now my friend from work just resigned and she's taking the summer off and moving someplace new and exciting. Admittedly, I feel somewhere in between envy and jealousy for her. I'm totally excited for her. But it's damn near killing me that I don't get to do that too!
Posted by: Noelle on April 19, 2004 09:51 AMActually, I'm not thinking about it much anymore, Noelle. This is one of my 'spare' posts that I post up when I have such a boring day that I have nothing really to say. I usually make up my 'spare' posts when I'm sitting at the airport with nothing to do, waiting for their one day to shine on the index of my blog. :-P
Texx, you've been getting too much physical exercise. Let's exercise THE MIND. :-P
Welcome Manny!
Posted by: yano on April 19, 2004 11:39 AMYou got it backwards, girlie. All I have on my mind is mutual funds, the purchase type, what year it's contributed and Kip for Kids. What is physical exercise, anyway?
Posted by: Tex on April 20, 2004 02:55 AM
