Just got the most bizarre phone call at 2am on the East Coast.

Saw the number, and it was my cousin. Got a little worried to get a call from him so late at night.

Then I picked up the phone, and it wasn't him. Or at least I don't think it was. Whoever it was was pretty drunk. Yelling drunk. Laughing, giggling drunk. And they just started talking to me like they knew who I was, but I had no idea who I was talking to. Even when I asked, they were slurring so bad I couldn't understand. Then the phone was passed to someone else who wasn't my cousin, and they were babbling, too. Then passed to someone else. I got a pretty good laugh out of it, but then again, it was really weird. Here's some choice quotes:

- "Girl, girl, when you gonna hook up wit us? We're having a goooood time!" [sorry, can't. i'm in atlanta] "Atlanta? What da hell you doin' out dere?"
- "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, uh huh. uh huh. uh huh huh huh..."
-"We're so CRAZEEEEEE right now! Woman, come and party with us! Let's hang! Are we gonna hit it or what? I wanna be wit you!!!" [sorry dude, i'm married] "What? You're married, but you're not buried! AH-HAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
-"Where's your cousin? I dunno! He's around here somewhere! But he cares about him, baby. Let's talk you and me."
-"Sup girl. Mmm...you sound tasty. Yeah, baby, laugh for me again. Mmm...yeah...I like it like that. Oh...so good. Luagh again. Yeah, you know how to do me right. Ohh...oh...oh! Yeah...was it good for you, too?"
-"You don't know me? I know you. I seen yo' picture, girl! You got one hell of an ass on you!' [thanks, assmunch]

And I have NO idea who these people are. Maybe I do. But I can't figure it out by the slurring and yelling into the phone.

So this whole episode makes me ask myself, 'Why am I the person people call when they're drunk?' So many times I've gotten the drunken phone call, people who want me to go out, people who want me to help them sober up as their driving home, people who want to yell at me when they're in the car with other people, people who want to complain about their relationships, people who meet Leann Rimes, etc. Why me? Do they enter my name on their phone under 'CALL THIS NUMBER WHEN DRUNK'?

Though I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy listening to all your drunk asses. It's hilarious. Though the voicemails from strippers I can do without, thank you very much.

Posted by Yano at March 25, 2004 11:52 PM

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