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Well, I complained a bit the other day, but I think I'm done with complaining for a bit. I think I'm pretty exhausted with just about everything right now. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I'm burnt out.
I would have to say that yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a long time. I'm not talking months, I'm talking years. And this time, it really had nothing to do with work, or with the wedding, or with any drama on the 'net. Life, life just bit me in the ass yesterday and threw me a curve ball. Even thinking about it now, just brings me to tears.
Normally, I'd be free to talk about whatever dramas are going on in my life, but not this time. Too many people are affected. But my emotions are drained, and I'm cursed with a feeling of duty: the duty to make everyone around me happy. To make right the things that are wrong in other people's lives, especially of those that I love. I know I can't, it's not possible, but still, I worry and I fret and I work my hardest to make everyone happy.
And it kills me when people aren't. It kills me when I find a problem I can't fix, or when I see people I love in pain. My eyes have been closed for a long time now, and I learned to open them yesterday.
Wedding? That's one day. Work? That's just money. The love of the people you have around you and ensuring that those people are safe, happy, and that they know they are loved is a million times more important.
Sorry for being so vague, but I know you guys understand that I can't put up all my dirty laundry on the 'net.
So if you can, say a little prayer for the people I love. I need all the help I can get on this one.
Posted by Yano at August 3, 2003 08:16 PMeven though it rains, and inevitably pours, you can always look forward to the rainbow at the end of it all.
i hear you on the stress thing.
take care of yourself. you don't crash and burn.
and know that we're all here for you. =)
Posted by: bernadette on August 3, 2003 09:16 PM*you don't wanna*
did i mention that i was bad with the proofreading thing?
Posted by: bernadette on August 3, 2003 09:17 PMHey Christine, I know how you feel, and since you've read my blog, you probably know what I mean. But we're here for ya. I'm sending my postive vibes your way girl, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Take Care!!
Posted by: Jen on August 3, 2003 09:35 PMi'll say a little prayer for you.
Posted by: Lea on August 3, 2003 11:44 PMOpening your eyes is sometimes a painful thing, but it usually leds you to action or understanding, which is great. I hope that rainbows come soon for you and your loved ones. It's great that you can be so thoughtful when you yourself have so much going on. Very admirable! Perhaps I could learn from it myself.
Posted by: Amy on August 4, 2003 02:36 PMYou are in my thoughts. You try to take on everybodies troubles on your shoulders. Take care of yourself too and I hope that whatever troubles you have will be resolved.
Posted by: on August 7, 2003 12:28 AMoops forgot to sign my name
Posted by: Deb on August 7, 2003 12:29 AM
