So I'm opening up my presents at my bridal shower. Since I'm registered at Crate and Barrel, I've got a million and one taped Crate and Barrel boxes to open. I know the crowd is terrified at the knife I wield to open the boxes. I don't think that they think my Xena: Warrior Princess impersonation as I slash the boxes is too funny. Poo on you, it's my party. Live with it! J/K, they loved it.

So after going through about 200 Crate and Barrel boxes, I see something that catches my eye. True, it's a Crate and Barrel box. It says so all over it. But it's in red. Weird. All the other ones are black.

I remove the tape and look inside. Strange. Red tissue paper. All the other boxes had periwinkle tissue paper, which is the color of my wedding. (Crate and Barrel is cool like that, you know) I exclaim, 'Wow! A red Crate and Barrel box, with red tissue paper!' I take out the tissue paper, and discover a hurricane lamp inside. I don't fake surprise, I mean, it's actually cool. [note: I didn't fake surprise for anything - I was genuinely surprised that these people even bothered to COME to my shower, much less give me anything.] I'm pretty stoked about getting it. Down deep inside, I've always wanted my own. I don't know if I'll ever use it, but it would look great on our non-existent coffee table. Maybe around the holidays I can throw a wreath and holly around it and it would look really festive.

I move on to the next gift.

But my trusted super sleuth bridesmaid Jenny isn't fooled. She's a bridal party pro. She goes to bridal showers, bachelorette showers and weddings for a living. She has a second sense about these things.

After the gift opening, she casually went to the gifts, pretending to seal the boxes for transit. But she opened up the hurricane box. And laughed. And called Fatima over. Fatima looked astonished, and laughed.

Later on, they told me I had been regifted. Like Sherlock Holmes, Jen told me that a crime had been committed, right under my nose. Jen knew that Crate and Barrel only carries the red boxes during Christmas, and that she knew that the present didn't come from my registry because it wasn't packed with the periwinkle tissue. When she looked at the gift receipt, her fears were revealed. I had been re-gifted. Someone had given me a gift that they had already received.

A Christmas gift!

A Christmas gift they had gotten in December of 1992! 11 years ago!

Geez! If you're going to regift, at least take out the gift receipt. If I try to return that bad boy, Crate and Barrel will roll my ass outta there.

That's ok. The hurricane lamp has found a home to love it.

Posted by Yano at July 23, 2003 09:28 AM

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