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Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later, but I've finally broken down. It happened earlier in the night, when we were going over the wedding guest list. The bane of my existence. The room can only fit 270 people. After numerous cuts, we had the invite list down to about 350. Still too much. We did counts on who we thought would definitely come. Still too many. I talked to my mom about her list. She was inviting obscure people who I had no idea who they were. And a huge chunk of her list was people that she didn't expect to come, but who she wanted to be notified of the wedding. But even taking all of those people out of the count, there were still too many. Then there were the people that my mom wanted invited, who I really didn't care to have at my wedding.
And I know that I had to cut friends. There were just too many. And I love my friends, and it was the hardest thing for me to cross those names off the list. These are the people that I would love to share this wonderful day with. But I felt a little better when we came up with the idea of having a separate invite for friends to stop by for cake and dancing after the dinner. So at least I can see my friends on my special day.
So then that leaves me with the thousands of relatives that will be offended when they find out they haven't been invited.
I dunno, I guess it all hit me - that I can't everyone I want there. That I needed to make some tough decisions. That a spot that a friend could have had is being taken by some obscure relative who I don't even remember. That some friends can't bring dates (sorry guys). That this is going to cost A LOT of money. That Dave is leaving for LA on THURSDAY, and after that, well, he's not coming back til the actual wedding. That there's still so much that me and Dave need to do. But he won't be here, and I'm on my own to coordinate everything. Thank god for having sisters. But even though, it all hit me pretty hard.
And I started crying. Silent, angry tears. I hate it when I cry. It makes me even angrier. I should have planned this all better. What was I thinking getting a place that housed less than 300? I should have known that our parents would do this to us. Tears because I had to cut people from the list. I just didn't want to work on the wedding anymore. Poor Claudine and Dave, they didn't know what to do.
People ask me if I'm nervous. No. I'm stressed. I don't like having to categorize people into an A-List and B-List. I hope I have enough money to pay for all this. I hope that I have fun at my wedding. I hope that my guests have a good time at the wedding.
Argh!
Posted by Yano at June 11, 2003 12:25 AMaww Christine! *hugs* it WILL work out and it WILL be a day to remember...just take it easy, this is meant to be fun :)
Posted by: Leesa on June 11, 2003 01:01 AMeverything will work out. People are forgiving and if ther chose not to be, they will get over it. good luck with everything.
Posted by: Teri on June 11, 2003 08:22 AMOh sisterfriend, it'll be okay. And think of it this way, you're marrying a doctor. You'll be able to pay off the wedding eventually. =P
Posted by: Claudine on June 11, 2003 08:36 AMIt's good to let it out, Christine. It is hard when you have to account for relatives.
As for 'I hope people will have fun at my wedding' - they will if they see how happy you are. So that's like the first priority - have a biggest blast of your life on your special day.
Posted by: sonia on June 11, 2003 09:41 AM*hug* Christine! most of the people at my wedding were my parents' friends anyway... partly because i don't have a huge group of friends in Houston... we still outnumbered Tom's side.
i'd say send the invitations early enough to get responses, but you don't want to give too much time for the people who weren't expected to come to actually show up.
rockChristinehardplace
but we're here for you. we'll all understand what the outcome is. and you definitely have a support circle over there, too.
Posted by: Kathy on June 11, 2003 10:46 AMAw, Christine, I feel for ya. They say that a wedding, esp. when families have so many expectations of their own, gets really stressful.
I'd been meaning to ask you a few questions about it next time we chatted, but I think you answered them all in this entry! You mind-reader.
Hoping it's smooth(er) sailing for you from now on!
Posted by: Noelle on June 11, 2003 11:32 AMWhat, I'm cut from the list? lol...
Weddings shouldn't be about stress. Your dear friends & relatives (it sounds like you have too many!) will understand. They should still send you really cool gifts. I know I will.
Posted by: Linda J. on June 11, 2003 01:25 PMChristine,
Someting about those Filipino weddings and all those relatives. I remember going through the same thing many years ago. In the end, it'll all work out - even if it doesn't feel that way right now and you'll be the blushing bride you were meant to be and everyone will live happily ever after. Much luck...
Posted by: Elisa on June 11, 2003 02:15 PMjust relax. if you are expecting perfection, you will definitely be disappointed. it's just one day of your life. your obscure relative friends are just in on it for the free meal anyways. not like anyone is going to remember it for the rest of THEIR lives.
Posted by: on June 11, 2003 03:16 PM*joins in the hug fest*
Hang in there. You'll get through it. I went through this with all four of my siblings and every wedding was beautiful in the end. When the day comes no body will remember who didn't get invited because they'll all be drinking, having a great time, talking to the people who ARE there, and looking at you! No matter how bad things are leading up to it, it's all forgotten when the day arrives.
If it's any consolation, the guest list is the worst part. It's smooth sailing from there. And afterwards you won't remember all this crap, you'll only remember the fun and the laughter and the smiles. (and the drunk people who made asses out of themselves. Make sure and get that on the video. That's the best part.) ;)
Posted by: Denise on June 11, 2003 03:57 PMChristine, I hope that everything works out for the best and that your wedding day turns out beautifully. I echo what everyone else has said...*hugs*
Posted by: Joanna on June 11, 2003 09:58 PMAww .. everyone's already said what I wanted to say so I'll just give you a *hug*. Just remember that it's YOUR DAY! Well, erh, you and Dave. ;)
Posted by: Tia on June 11, 2003 10:32 PMAwww Hang in there Christine, I hope everything turns out the way you want. I'm sure your wedding is gonna be beautiful, so when the day finally arrives enjoy it to the fullest, and you'll see all your hard work will have paid off. I wish you the best of luck!!
*HUGS*!!
Posted by: Jen on June 11, 2003 11:05 PMChristine
Remember this special day is for you and Dave. The people who love and care about you will want you two to be happy. That is all that matters.
Love your flower girl....you 'll have some competition there!!! Could she possibly be any cuter??
Posted by: Sooz on June 12, 2003 12:02 AMAwwww, my little buttercup. I know it's hard. But if anyone can make it through with her head held high, I know you can. You are one of the stongest people I know. You have been there for me MANY MANY times, and if you need ANYTHING, I'm here babes. I'd send you my ass on a plate, but I think it would only make things worse for you. **HUGS**
Posted by: Tex on June 12, 2003 12:26 AMoh yano, you poor thing. do what you gotta do. maybe you can have a special get together for those who had to be crossed off the list. i hope you're feeling better.
Posted by: butta on June 12, 2003 06:14 PM
