Well, it's Mother's Day today, and I just wanted to do some reflections on my mom.

You know, I think its either the age that I'm at right now, or just because of my mother's sickness that I'm finding a new closeness with her, a new appreciation for all that she has done for me, and all that she means to me. Four years ago, it was discovered that she had breast cancer. She had a mastectomy, had chemo, lost her hair, and won. Or so we thought. Last year, the cancer came back, and this time had spread to her lungs. She's been fighting it ever since. Chemo, radiation, more medication than I can count - she's doing it all. And when some people would whine and ask people to feel sorry for her, she's silent about it. She moves on. She tries to keep on living life as she did before. Now there may not be many things that she can do as well anymore (she's lost a lot of mobility in her right hand), which is where me and my dad come in. My dad has been amazing during this - but I'll save that for Father's Day. And sometimes, yeah, it's been a lot of stress for me, and yeah, sometimes I feel a lot of resentment that my sisters aren't here to share some of the responsibilities. But as much as I complain inside my head, rarely have I heard my mother complain.

You know, when you're a kid, your mom is everything. But as you get older, you start to question your parents, maybe even sometimes get a little embarrassed by them. That's what I did. I saw her as annoying, a nag, someone that didn't want me to be myself or have a good time. Looking back on it, I was an idiot. But over the years, I've come to see my mother as more than my mother. I've come to see her as a person. And to see her going through what she has gone through, to tell you the truth, I never thought she had this strength in her. And knowing that she has this strength gives me the strength to take the trivial little dramas in me life into perspective. It also gives me hope that someday, if I was ever to meet a challenge, that I would persevere. That I would never give up, and fight it all the way through.

So to my mother, thank you for bringing me into this world. Even more than that, thank you for helping to make me into the person I am, and the person that I someday want to be. Well, not the nagging part. But the other stuff. Definitely the other stuff.

Here's a picture that I put into a frame for my mom today:

Posted by Yano at May 11, 2003 03:04 PM

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