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I'm back in Chicago again. Although it was nice to be around the nice warm weather and good people in California, nothing beats sleeping in your own bed and being surrounded by family.
But I had a good time in California. My consulting with the client went well, the classes went smoothly and everyone was really cool to work with. I wouldn't mind going back there again. And that's not because I get free pop all day long. It's because I got free donuts! Heh heh.
I'd also like to thank a bunch of people who I got to hang around with during my time out there. To Rod, Rusty, Lanie, Rick, Rocena, Bugs, Peter and Paula (and anyone else I forgot) thanks for making me feel so welcome and for all the laughs. It was great to see you all again/meet you for the first time. To the people who I didn't get to hang out with, I'm sure I'll be in the area again.
I'm not in a really great mood today. Lots of stress in life, I guess, but I've also done something that I'm not too proud of. I broke a promise to a friend. It was preventable, but sometimes, I just don't think about how my actions affect other people. A couple of you know this already, but sometimes I get really self centered. Most of the time, this just hurts me. But this time, I hurt a very good friend. I feel horrible about it. And I'm really angry with myself. I'm at one of those points where I'm examining myself, and why I do stupid things. People rely on me, people trust me. And if they let them down, due to circumstances that I can control, well, there's no excuse for that. But I also understand that people make mistakes. I made a mistake, and I'm paying for it, big time. But I know better now. Who knows if I'll still have this person's friendship. I don't really deserve it right now, but I'll do everything I can to fix it. I know what a fragile thing trust is, and when you lose someone's trust it's difficult to win back, but I'm willing to try. To me, this friendship is worth it. If I didn't care, I'd just say, 'You know what? Forget this drama, I have too much shit going on in my life to fret over this.' But I do care. Even though my selfish actions in the past may have shown otherwise, I care very much about this friend. And I'm going to try everything I can to make to make things better.
And if that friend is reading this, I'm sorry, I really am.
Sorry for getting dramatic on you all.
Posted by Yano at January 11, 2003 05:54 PMdon't worry christine...i'm sure everything will be fine...ur a great person and an awesome friend...and everyone makes mistakes sometimes =\...we all get a little too focused on ourselves sometimes...except perfect me of course...i never do that cuz i'm perfect =P...jk...i love u and hope everything turns out ok...drama is good sometimes...where would life be without it?
Posted by: Candace on January 11, 2003 06:28 PMChristine...I understand what you are going through..and believe me I know. It will be OK. We are human and we are not perfect and we do make mistakes. That is just how life is and sometimes it really sux. I dont know you that well...but from what other people say...you are a GREAT person and I hope everything works out...take care!!
Posted by: Rick E. on January 11, 2003 11:08 PMAwww... don't get down on yourself. i've known you all my life and i know that in the end you always mean well, and you really are a good friend... I should know... you've been one of my best friends since we were kids. we don't talk much anymore, but i know i can always count on you... so don't worry... things will be ok. *mmwuah*
Posted by: bumblebootie on January 12, 2003 11:01 AMhey yano,
sorry bout not seeing ya. i didn't get to leave til 8.30pm that nite ... glad you had a blast!
Posted by: Wally on January 12, 2003 03:20 PMdon't be so hard on yourself- it gets tough sometimes and we end up forgetting things we shouldn't...but i wouldn't call u selfish or self-centred! Anything but that!
Posted by: Leesa on January 13, 2003 12:43 AM
